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:iconalexwarlorn: More from alexwarlorn

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MLP by HyperShadic123

Reharmonization by pumpkin-tlof19

Literature by InsanelyADD

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Submitted on
September 21, 2011
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I don't know how long it's been now. Master Discord sometimes messes with my perception of time. Sometimes it feels like eons, and others -if I didn't have clear memories of LiarJack's little sister growing up and dying of old age (after Scootaloo died as an adult mare defying master) I'd think it all happened yesterday.  The Elements of Chaos seem to have rendered us immortal.

Master Discord has no need for servants, minions or slaves, but he keeps us around anyway.

Liarjack is almost the only one of us who seems to remember how things were before . . . everything began.

She smiles and tells me that everything was rigidly frozen with order before Master Discord took 'control.'  That nothing and no one ever changed, the world was caught in a predictable monotone cycle.

I'm relatively certain she's lying, it's hard to tell though, she's gotten much better since things began. I know she's only saying it though so I don't get upset, so I'm not angry and I'm glad she's willing to lie for my sake.

I sometimes go into a daze and wander the palace aimlessly until I somehow end up in the gallery. Nothing is ever the same once, except the statues in the middle: a solid gold statue of a large Alicorn that shines like the sun, and a smaller silver one that simmers like the moon.

I don't understand why, but I always end up crying while looking at them. FlutterCruel thinks I need to grow up, of course Rarigreed doesn't care, Angry Pie is always asking what I'm crying over, Liarjack just says I'm crying because the statues are so beautiful, Traitor Dash always begins to tell me something, then stops before saying anything meaningful.

By that time, I have to feed and wash Spike. It takes a long time since he's so big, and Master Discord is always riding him around like Spike was a party horse for fun. It always leaves Spike so tired.

Rarigreed is always in her bedroom, or storage room for her 'jewels': they're about the same thing. She's always so dirty, her coat is practically matted with dust from her collection and digging up more to add to it.

She rubs herself against the rocks and stones in her room the way you would a lover. She has rooms full of the things, it's a wonder they haven't fallen over and crushed her. She's always getting more.

She venomously insists they're diamonds rubies, emeralds, what-have-you. We're all sure she's quite crazy.  

Liarjack spends the most time with her, always complimenting how 'beautiful' Rarigreed's collection is, and asking finer details about them. Rarigreed is happy to comply and goes on for hours about her 'treasures.'

Rarigreed's caretaker used to be a white unicorn with a cutie mark for singing until the sweet mare died of old age.

Angry Pie once said they were just 'dumb rocks.' Rarigreed gave her a broken jaw. Traitor Dash said that was the first time Rarigreed had given -anything- in a long time. I can't remember when Rarigreed has given away anything ever.

Liarjack told Rarigreed Angry Pie was just seeing things and of course her treasure weren't rocks, there was no reason to be upset or unhappy.

Whatever you do, don't laugh around Angry Pie, it'll be the last mistake you make. Just take a look at at the fully grown alligator skin on her wall to know what I mean.

She almost seems to hunt down ponies, Dragons, diamond dogs, Griffons, Zebras, -anything- that laughs. Master Discord approves.

Master once laughed near her, she reacted naturally . . . mercifully all she got was a limp for the rest of her life. Hasn't slowed her down one bit.

Don't ask what FlutterCruel does, you don't want to know.

Traitor Dash is always trying to protect or save ponies who get in the way of Master's games. Strangely she always ends up having to let one suffer to save another, master oddly laughs harder during those games.

There's this one pegasus who walks around the palace each day, her wings don't seem to work right, or her legs for that matter. Her eyes always looking in different directions.  She has a pale blond mane and a gray coat, but then again all ponies have gray shades to their colors.

She starts out each day as a fillie too small for a cutie mark then by the time she finishes a full circle for the day, she's so old that you'd think it was only force of will keeping her heart pumping.  

She's always carrying a unicorn filly shaped muffin on her back. Keeping it safe from hungry birds.  She speaks to it.  "No please, she's my muffin, she's my baby, sneeze don't!" She rambles, she doesn't seem to even notice when I try to speak to her. She's always counting down a number of laps each day, telling the muffin everything will be okay once she's done them all. Last I check she was down to only eight quad trillion. "He promised, he promised, you'll be okay, as soon we finish Dinky, he promised, you'll be you."

This pale blue unicorn with a magic wand cutie mark wandered into the palace once, she was older than old, practically skin and bones.  None of the others gave her much mind but me, LJ, and Traitor Dash. LJ just told her sweet nothing that made her smile though I didn't hear them. Traitor Dash looked like she had seen a ghost. She looked at me almost intensely, trying to recall something, as if we had met before. But the look of recognition faded from her eyes and she left the palace never having once raised her head or spoken a word.

Despite Liarjack's best efforts, I sadly found out she died of a heart attack soon after and Traitor Dash and LJ buried her body on the palace grounds.  Kinder than letting Master reanimate her corpse and send it to eat the brains of who she had loved most in life.  Wouldn't be the first time that happened to an unburied body. Applebloom had had to defend herself from her own husband's zombie.

About once a week or so (it's hard to tell) Traitor Dash shows up in my bedroom after 'midnight' (not that night and day really exist anymore, you expect a world run by master to -make sense-?).

She just shows up unannounced at the end of my bed unnoticed when I'm not looking. Glancing at the two house plants I keep but I can't remember why they're so important to me that I keep them watered and in the sun.

I've long since stopped asking questions when she begins speaking.

"Twilight Tragedy," She begins saying my name. "Master promised he'd put everything back the way it was before, -everything!- Every detail, every memory: except mine . . . all," Dash began to tear up, "All I need to do," She hiccuped, "Is murder the pony I care about the most!" She breaks down sobbing, hugging me.  "I can't do it Twilight! I want AJ to be honest again! I want Pinkie to laugh again! I want Rarity to be sane again! I want Fluttershy to be FLUTTERSHY again! But . . but . . I CAN'T DO IT! It's for the sake of everypony, it's for the sake of everything!  But I can't kill my best friend . . . I'm  .. . I've always thought I was strong, ya know, deep down . . . I'm not .  . I'm weak . . . I'm a traitor . . . I'm a traitor . ..  I'm a traitor . . ." She falls asleep in my forelegs.

I wonder about it the next morning, the layout of the palace having changed again, as usual. I wonder what Dash meant in earnest, confused on how she described the others.

Then in all comes back like a crack of thunder. I remember! I remember! Celestia! Luna! Mom! Dad! All of us! This is wrong! This can't be real! It isn't real!

I use my horn to guide me! I'll cure them! I'll lead them! I won't fail! I can't fail! I mustn't fail! Blood pumps through me as I feel my colors returning to me after too long! If I can wake up then so can everyone!

I think about where everyone normally is, Pinkie Pie is closest! I'll start with her!

Discord appears out of the blue before me before I've made it five steps.  I draw in power ready for the fight of my life and . . . he snaps his fingers and the worlds turn gray in my eyes again.

"Oh Twilight, Twilight, Twilight. My little Twilight Tragedy. You forget each time. The only reason you ever wake up each time at all is when and if I want you to . . ."

I don't know how long it's been now. Master Discord sometimes messes with my perception of time. Sometimes it feels like eons, and others -if I didn't have clear memories of LiarJack's little sister growing up and dying of old age (after Scootaloo died as an adult mare defying master) I'd think it all happened yesterday.  The Elements of Chaos seem to have rendered us immortal.

I'm informed by My Master that some foalish ponies in Ponyville are trying to practice magic. Duty calls. Time to show these little ponies that Magic Is Tragedy.

UPDATE 2012 Feb 16th The audio adaption (complete with original art for the piece and original music and voice actors!) for this chapter is here! [link]

The POVs of the Elements of Harmony Squad as in Season Two Episode One where Discord breaks them one by one. And some truths behind of these events you may not thought of.

And we've come to the epilogue. Tell me what you think and what you feel, because I feel this piece is meant to speak for itself.

Other Parts In Chronological Order:

LiarJack: [link]

Anger Pie: [link]

Rarigreed: [link]

FlutterCruel: [link]

Traitor Dash: [link]

The Pathetic And Irrelevant Trixie: [link]

Twilight Tragedy: [link]

Epilogue (here)

Link to the Gallery of the Discord Ponies POV Series, dealing with their descent into darkness by Discord's games and epilogue. [link]

And here is a link to the sequel of this series: the Reharmonized/Recovery/Healing Ponies POV series! Dealing with after the defeat of Discord and the mane six, along with all people of Ponyville dealing with the emotional stress in their own way of what they did while under Discord's control. Here's a hint, IT ISN'T EASY TO JUST PUT YOUR HOOVES FORWARD! Who will be able to face the future, and who will need a lot of help to face themselves? [link]

MLP:FiM Copyright Hasbro.


Image used with permission. [link]

Eine psychologische Auseinandersetzung mit dem ersten Zweiteiler der zweiten Staffel von My Little Pony: Freundschaft ist Magie, erzählt aus der Sicht der sechs Heldinnen der Geschichte:
Equestria steht am Rande einer Katastrophe. Ein Feind, so alt wie das Land selbst, hat sich aus seinem Jahrtausende-langen Schlaf befreit, und hat die königliche Hauptstadt und Ponyville ins Visier genommen.
Discord, seines Zeichens Gott des Chaos, will den Thron wiedererringen, von dem ihn Celestia und Luna einst gestürzt hatten. Und dieser Tyrann bedient sich zum diesen Zweck seiner zerstörerischsten Waffe; und das sind Equestrias Ponys selber. Als Herr über Verstand und Wahrnehmung, weiß er sich jeden noch so starken Willen untertan zu machen.
Nun liegt es an den sechs Elementen der Harmonie, Discord Paroli zu bieten, bevor das Land unter ihm im Chaos versinkt.
Doch dann kriegen auch sie die volle Breitseite von Discords Macht zu spüren. Eine nach der anderen stellt fest, dass Discord in seinen Begründungen doch sehr 'überzeugend' sein kann....
Dies sind ihre Geschichten.

Sechs Knechte
Was wäre wenn... alle Bemühungen doch umsonst waren? [link]
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This is very deep, and doesn't give you the so-called "Happy ending" that most stories have. In it's place it gives you a heartbreaking story ending, that you and no one else wants. But, it tells that not all stories end happily, and the same goes for real life. I may be young, but i'm not one to think that EVERYTHING ends in peace, love, and happiness, and this fan fiction shows it.

Although, it was depressing to see that now being immortal, the mane six had to watch everypony else die. Not that they cared enough to notice, having been too busy being, greedy, cruel, or angry.

Other than that, I simply loved the story, and it got me in the heart every time Twilight said something about the cutie mark crusaders, or her Discorded former friends. Also, the one part that almost made me cry, along with a lot of the other parts of the story. Was the part where Derpy had to walk around the palace every day, while aging rapidly over and over again, from a filly, to an old mare. Along with the fact that Discord promised to turn Dinky back to normal from her muffin form if she did over eight quad trillion laps.

Another part that made me sad was that Traitor Dash/Rainbow Dash remembered everything. From their true names, to how they were before all this happened, before discord took control, when they were the "ELEMENTS OF HARMONY". I was really excited when Twilight turned back to normal after remembering what Rainbow dash meant, and was actually rooting for her as she ran for the door to find and cure Pinkie Pie. Then, when Discord stopped her, and re-corrupted her, it was like nothing happened and we with Twilight were sent back to the beginning clueless of what had happened just minutes ago.

Overall, the whole fan fiction was terrific, and doesn't deserve anything under five stars. I like how you put the reader in Twilight's eyes, seeing all that had happened after Discord took over and what happened to all of the mane six, 5 stars for Vision! Although, Discorded mane six fan fictions and art have been done to death, you found a much more original way to turn the story up-side down in a good way, 5 stars for Originality!

The emotion and feeling put in to this is at master level, and there are no details left out. The writing is excellent in every way, and doesn't fail to transport you there as if seeing it all yourself. Along with the dramatic speech pauses, and brilliant use of caps lock to help you understand the intensity in Traitor Dash's voice, 5 stars for Technique. Last, but not least, is the impact it had on me. Well, how do I begin?

It started when I realized that instead of the child friendly chaos we see on the cartoon, no not at all, it was completely more twisted, and heartless. I felt bad for Traitor Dash the most, because she was the only one who knew that killing her best friend would save all the others. I could feel my heart being broken when Discord said he was the one who snapped Twilight out of it, just to make her forget the whole thing again. I think I speak for everyone when I say that the impact this made on me, while toying with my emotions, 5 stars Impact.
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the61scissors Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2013
My thoughts on Season Zero:

Before Discord took over, "the world was caught in a predictable monotonous cycle." MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!
Anyways, this was a good season, but things would really get awesome during Reharmonization.

My personal favorites here are Pinkie, Rainbow, and Trixie's chapters, due to feeling the most natural, as opposed to the others, where there was definitely a sense that they had some "help" getting to where they were. 

Speaking of Trixie, your backstory for her was well done, though I wouldn't come to really like Trixie's character until around Butterflies.

Negatives? Well, there's AJ's accent, but aside from that, I have no problems with the story or characters. Like I said, while later seasons would be better, this is still pretty good.
JakeRulez17 Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2013
I remember finding this a long time ago while browsing random pages in August 2012, when I first started watching the show. This may be one of my favorite pieces of literature in the fandom, and it's one of the best darker interpretations :)

It reminds me a lot of I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream.

Makes me wish I could write as effectively with little detail (less is more/Nothing is Scarier kinda thing)

Anyway, excellent work. Keep writing! :)
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2013
Thank you. I hope if you like the deconstruction, that you'll like the reconstruction in the Reharmonized Ponies stories I've written just as well.

It's weird something I wrote in a week still seems to be my most popular work.

Thank you for your comment dude!
LordGodsServant Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2013
Well, congrats, very good job.

I've read you're original POV series, the Reharmonization series and the Princess Gaia arc (just finished that one recently) and I have to say that you do an extremely good job with this series. I also admit to reading a smattering of the Epilogue timeline but I'll probably try to fully read that one in order after the others.

The thing is, I usually don't read grimdark stuff because . . . well . . . it just leaves me feeling sad and rather empty. It just makes me so sorrowful about how far our heroes (who used to be very pleasant loving people) have fallen. I can tell that's what you're going for here so, congratulations, you succeeded marvelously. This is the sort of story that makes me want to go and write a fix fic in which a Mary Sue (which will pretty much be an author avatar) comes in and completely tears Discord apart and fixes everything. I want to do this because I care about the characters so much, so take it as a compliment that I'm so invested in them that I want to do that.

Anyway, back to my original point. Like I said I don't usually read grimdark stuff, but I got interested in this because it came as a recommended fanfic on tv tropes (and it had some very detailed pages all to itself to boot) so I looked at the descriptions. I tried it out and it was pretty good, very sad, but very good. But my point is that, unlike other stories where the villain just wins and that's the end of it, I liked how your series stops and basically says "nope, that's not the end of it." While the world is undeniably dark, hellish even (I'm mostly talking about the Dark World Epilogue timeline) as far as I can tell, there is still hope. The line "hope springs eternal" may be a bit cheesy but it is probably the best line to describe it. Discord thinks that he has won totally and completely, that the mane six and even the whole world are nestled under his thumb forever, that he will spend the rest of eternity laughing and using everyone as his own personal toys whether they want him too or not, and that he will go on forever being a complete monster just short of Satan (and loving every second of it.)

But no, one person laughs. I say again, one person laughs and gets away with it. And that is all it takes. Twilight (though it quite realistically takes a while) is not beyond saving. Discord cannot completely destroy her, she still (very vaguely and unknowingly) retains some core parts of what made her a good person. I say again, Discord literally cannot just outright or even psychologically completely destroy all that made Twilight a good person and a good friend. There is a light at the end of the tunnel (and though the tunnel is longer than almost any, there is still a light at the end.) [link]

So, long story short, I love it because your stories aren't trying to be all "happy ending erases all problems and psychological damage" or "happy ending is easy", the characters are legitimately messed up and Discord does end up winning for a long time. But there again, there is a happy ending at the very least possible. Your story doesn't trivialize just how traumatizing what Discord puts everyone through is, but it reminds us that however traumatizing it may be, there is still hope and opportunity for the situation to get better. Discord and really any other villain can't endure forever, they can't destroy what makes life and friendship worth having.

The fact that you go to such an extreme (but kinda logical) with just how depraved and hedonistic Discord is makes the fact that there is still hope and a chance to beat him so much more gratifying.

All in all, I say be proud of this series, because honestly, its one of my favorites, and one of the best Pony fanfics I've read, maybe one of the best fanfics I've read period.

Thanks for writing this. :)
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2013
Hope the audio adaptions have entertained you too. And I hope you're checking out the recursive and the 7 Dreams/Nightmares, or at least, giving them a try.

But seriously. I'm happy my story is still attracting readers. And that you found MEANING AND DEPTH IN EVERYTHING!

Thank you so much for this.

BTW was your link supposed to take me back to deviantart's front page?


I hope you'll share more thoughts eventually.
LordGodsServant Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2013
The link was supposed to be one of those face's in the comments options like Anger, Sadness, and Fear. For whatever odd reason they didn't work and I thought I'd gotten rid of them. Must of missed that one so just ignore the link.

Thanks for responding. Oh, and on the subject of recursive fanfics, my favorite (pretty much the only one I've read,) is the Chaos Theory Universe where canon-Discord reforms.

Another way I'll put in how I feel this series stands out is that it takes all the stuff other grimdark fanfics have and replicates the sad hopeless feeling. But along with that, you don't trivialize themes like love and friendship. In other grimdark stories as I understand, they tend to simply deconstruct the mane six and throw out what makes them friends and good people to begin with (or heck this is one of the reasons I dislike grimdark fanfics to begin with in general, not just MLP.)

This is basically brutal deconstruction of the show if Discord were to truly be an uncaring hedonist with an extremely sick sense of humor and god-like powers, he wins for a long time or he leaves deep scars in the case of the Reharmonization timeline. But after that, you reconstruct values like loyalty, generosity, kindness, honesty, and laughter. Laughter starts Twilight Tragedy on the road to recovery, and as I understand it, Applejack/Liarjack is saved by the inherent fact that she lies out of an attempt to be kind, not any sort of malicious intent. Basically, you don't simply throw out all morality, making the heroes into sadists to destroy Discord, you remind the characters and readers that just because the world may be dark, doesn't mean that those values that made the mane six friends and good people don't hold water anymore. It's these things that save the characters. After the deconstruction of the character is done, you rebuild the characters better than they ever were. They become stronger for all their hardships.

Sorry if I'm waxing philisophical, I just really like your stories.
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2013
I LIKE waxing philosophical.

And I'm happy to hear that the decon/recon cycle appeared here.

IMHO these make the best stories because you don't just have the heroes overcome the outer obstacles or their emotional ones, but also their META ones, where they show readers that stories where people BELIEVE IN THINGS aren't just roads to destruction.
CottonSnourth Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2013  Professional Writer
Comments like that make all our hard work worthwhile.
LordGodsServant Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2013
Thank you, I hope I brightened up your day. :)
Kendell2 Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2013
Wow! Epic comment dude!
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