Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login

:iconalexwarlorn: More from alexwarlorn

Featured in Collections

Pony POV by ItsfromPeople

MLP by HyperShadic123

Readin' by Pictorico

More from DeviantArt


Submitted on
September 20, 2011
File Size
5.8 KB


13,800 (1 today)
133 (who?)

"Steal The Heart, Free The Monster"

Hello! Oh! What's that? Oh I already knew I'm not always kind. I know I've lost my temper. Usually The Stare just comes and even a cockatrice can't resist.  I don't like it, but I know I sometimes need it. The time at the Gala? I scared -me- that time! Can we, can we please not talk about that?

I still remember when I thought taking care of fillies would be the same as taking care of animals. I was so wrong and I'm not afraid to admit it.

Yes I was a model once, yes I know I could have used my fame for good causes, but I couldn't stand no privacy and being treated like a dress up doll. If I knew how Rarity really felt I'd have quit a lot sooner!

I also effectively kidnapped Celestia's pet bird wanting to nurse her back to health with no clue what kind of animal she really was and no idea she was a phoenix. Er, Philomena, not the Princess.

I fully admit those were my mistakes and no one else's. I'm glad that no one blames me for the parasprite disaster since I was kinda responsible for the whole thing.

Yes I DO love taking care of animals! It's what I live for! But it's not really just animals. They're just the ones who end up needing me the most often. I can't stand to see any living thing suffer.  In particular my bunny friend Angel.   There are times when my friends joke on who is taking care of who. I just smile and nod, I wonder sometimes too.

Angel and all the animals turn strange. A summons from the Princess.

Elements of Harmony Stolen. Into The Maze. MY WINGS! I TAKE BACK EVERY WISH I EVER MADE ABOUT WANTING TO BE AN EARTH PONY!  I never thought I'd miss my wings so badly if they were gone . . .  

Separated from the others. So Afraid. Butterflies! Not so scared now.  The butterflies speak.

My friends would never abandon me. Not now. Not ever. Even when I was too terrified to move to face a dragon they didn't do the easy thing and discard me!

I know I'm 'weak and helpless' I don't -want- that kind of strength and I want to be a healer not a warrior!  I know you can't always avoid fighting and those who do fight at those times are never really given a big choice, but I want to do my part healing others after the fighting's done and during the fighting!

I already know I'm not perfect and never will be, and if it's my -friends- saying where I come up short, then I know I can trust what they have to say and I can try to improve myself the right way!

DISCORD! And he's angry! Before he was acting like Pinkie Pie, but now it's like looking Gilda in the eyes again a hundred times over. I'd run if I thought it could do any good.

He just taps me on the head, but it feels like a fist though my brain!  World spin the discord make. Jumbled are up thoughts. Wrong feelings feel!  Thinks Ditzy Doo Wonder If I This How?

Things less jumbled, but more murky.  

Iiiii, feeeeel, soooo, dizzzz-sey . . .

I hear Discord from somewhere.

'Time to be cruel?' That's the -opposite- of everything I've wanted to be!  Why would I be that?

I think of Angel, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, all my friends, and I'm having trouble remembering what's important about them.  Something's being taken! A thing of warmness turning to mist and falling apart in my hooves even as I try to hold it and figure out what it is. I can't find it. I feel empty.

And I feel something I've never felt before rushing in like water into a pit to fill the hole.

This feeling, its not anger, that's like fire inside. It's not fear, fear is like a snake coiling around me. This feeling, it's like ice.  There's a calmness to it. A detachment. Like a protective wall of glass. Like what's going on with the others is something on a movie screen that has no real value to me, because it isn't directly effecting me.

I hear Twilight's voice. I snap back to reality.

I feel like something is missing. Oh well, couldn't have been that important if I can't figure out what.  Took long enough for miss Goth Pony to finally get here.

I listen to Twilight bellyache about something or other. I don't have time for this, I give miss 'Mary Sue fix everything with magic I'm worthless without it' both barrels (whatever that means). Then I give her a quick tail to the face just for good measure to let her know I'm not in the mood to hear her whine.  That shuts her up good. Good.

Pinkie Pie is in my way, I move her out my way. Applejack laughs. I don't care. Why should I?  I take the lead. No one stops me. I can't believe I never have before. It feels so natural.

We march in silence. I remember earlier today. I can't believe I didn't laugh when I saw how all the animals grew giant legs. I can't believe I didn't tell Celestia what a lousy Princess she was for not keeping the Elements safe! I can't believe I just agreed to risk my hide for her rather than telling Princess-Queen-Does-Nothing to go get her property herself! I remember every time I've just smiled and nodded, like someone's doll. It's like these memories belong to a different pony, but I know it's me. Well THIS version of me is disgusted with THAT version of me!

The world is cruel, be unto the world as it is unto you. Living for others just turns you into a giant-sized hoofmat. Be selfish otherwise you're nothing. A person who lives only for others is just an empty shell, a puppet! And I'm no one's puppet!

To embody kindness is to be a stepping stone, to embody cruelty, is to be the stepper.

I've been kind for far too long, it's time to be cruel.


And original soundtrack: [link]

Personal Pros Of Poor Ponies Possessing Possible Post-traumatic Stress Disorder Brought On By Discord The Deity of Chaos' Mind Games Forcing Them To See the Flip Side Of Their Element Or Appealing To Their Worse Nature Or Outright Cheating With One. (what a mouth-full!)

Forth in the Discord Pony Series. Fluttershy. You don't surrender to your demons, you know you're not perfect, you know your friends are there for you . . . so why do you have to lose anyway?

PS Do you guys mind that these parts keep getting longer and longer?

Other Parts In Chronological Order:

Liarjack: [link]

Meanie Pie: [link]

RariGreed: [link]

FlutterCruel (here!)

Traitor Dash: [link]

The Pathetic And Irrelevant Trixie: [link]

Twilight Tragedy: [link]

Epilogue: [link]

Link to the Gallery of the Discord Ponies POV Series, dealing with their descent into darkness by Discord's games and epilogue. [link]

And here is a link to the sequel of this series: the Reharmonized/Recovery/Healing Ponies POV series! Dealing with after the defeat of Discord and the mane six, along with all people of Ponyville dealing with the emotional stress in their own way of what they did while under Discord's control. Here's a hint, IT ISN'T EASY TO JUST PUT YOUR HOOVES FORWARD! And some want to trot backwards back into the night where the pain can't find them. [link]

And here is a link to the 'light' twin of this dark story. Dealing with Fluttershy's recovery from her 'nightmare' and the truth about FlutterCruel's existence. [link]

Illustration by Firedrake368 [link], made specifically for this series. Original drawing found here. [link]

MLP:FiM Copyright Hasbro.


Eine psychologische Auseinandersetzung mit dem ersten Zweiteiler der zweiten Staffel von My Little Pony: Freundschaft ist Magie, erzählt aus der Sicht der sechs Heldinnen der Geschichte:
Equestria steht am Rande einer Katastrophe. Ein Feind, so alt wie das Land selbst, hat sich aus seinem Jahrtausende-langen Schlaf befreit, und hat die königliche Hauptstadt und Ponyville ins Visier genommen.
Discord, seines Zeichens Gott des Chaos, will den Thron wiedererringen, von dem ihn Celestia und Luna einst gestürzt hatten. Und dieser Tyrann bedient sich zum diesen Zweck seiner zerstörerischsten Waffe; und das sind Equestrias Ponys selber. Als Herr über Verstand und Wahrnehmung, weiß er sich jeden noch so starken Willen untertan zu machen.
Nun liegt es an den sechs Elementen der Harmonie, Discord Paroli zu bieten, bevor das Land unter ihm im Chaos versinkt.
Doch dann kriegen auch sie die volle Breitseite von Discords Macht zu spüren. Eine nach der anderen stellt fest, dass Discord in seinen Begründungen doch sehr 'überzeugend' sein kann....
Dies sind ihre Geschichten.

Neues Ich
Was braucht es, um die sonst so schüchterne und sanfte Fluttershy an den Rand ihrer Freundlichkeit zu treiben? [link]
Add a Comment:
Before I begin, a word on Fluttershy's Discording. In the show, the lead up to the Discording is Discord appealing to Fluttershy's sense of pride, and Fluttershy being an adorably humble moeblob and pretending she's weak and helpless...despite having stared down a cockatrice and a dragon, and winning. It's almost disappointing that Discord wasn't any more creative with his tricks.
What does that have to do with this? Well, for this story, what Discord actually did is explored further: Rather than simply tap her and brainwash, he essentially rips from her all compassion...leaving behind cold detachment, and bending her mind into a completely new shape, practically fitting a round peg into a square hole, so to speak. The author conveys the confusion and feeling perfectly, and somehow manages to combine feelings of horror and despair with feelings of triumph and rage and freedom...that is, as we feel horror and despair that our hero has been turned so, "Fluttershy" feels liberated now that she is no longer kind, and her disgust at who she was guides her actions towards who she will be...I only hope this nightmare is more noble than she seems. For all their sakes.
As to the artistic appreciation, the author conveys the viewpoint very well. Confusion is executed perfectly, there's nothing out of place to pull me from the story, and the story hits fast and hard, as it should.
Score 10000: Flawless Victory. (And now to find Discord and beat him over the head for messing with Bestpony.)
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
19 out of 22 deviants thought this was fair.

First review I've ever done, so excuse any possible noobiness.

First off, I think this story is very concise. Perhaps a little too concise. It's particularly noticeable in the beginning, where it just jumps right into dialogue that's pretty jarring; it almost throws the story in your face. Past the first few paragraphs, though, it thankfully settles down into a nice in-character monologue.

The stylistic decision to jumble the words while Discord's messing with Fluttershy isn't necessarily a bad one, but it doesn't flow all that well with the previous sentences; it would probably look a bit cleaner if they got their own paragraph(s), and tightening the connection between the confusion and the growing malevolence would increase the effect.

Generally, the transition from Fluttershy to Fluttercruel isn't quite what I had hoped; it felt less like a hostile takeover and more like a reluctant turnaround. This is all subjective, but I think the loss of compassion is glossed over, and I don't think Fluttershy was established enough in the introduction to really convey the complete corruption Discord made of her personality.

The ending was pretty well-done; Fluttershy's behavior while Discorded is arguably the hardest to justify out of the six, and I think you managed it effectively enough without it necessarily becoming OOC; "Putting Your Hoof Down" pretty much supports all of Fluttercruel's thought processes here.

In short, it could use a bit of expansion beforehand, and I'd really like to see more Pathos mixed in with the Logos this story amply provides. The meat of the story's there, and it's good; all it needs is a bit of seasoning.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
6 out of 6 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

Please sign up or login to post a critique.

KirbyFluttershy Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2014
Wow... this is amazing... this is really fleshes Fluttershy out...
I mean, wow...
DianaGohan Featured By Owner Apr 9, 2014
- Oh right this reminded me Fluttershy has that stare ability that is actually rarely used due to not having any control of it.  Really Fluttershy if you have color of the conqueror haki you need to train with it to be effective in battle.  Actually forget the one Piece reference because I want to make one instead to Bleach.  Which also has (or had) the supposedly nice and happy all the time Unohana have this supposed stare ability that made her threathening to everyone else even though she appeared nice even though in the end that didn't do anything or really even properly connect to her character ,but rather someone else.  I'll give credit to this show it at least uses the stare to actually work with Fluttershy's character and not just be a lame tool for comedy that ultimately doesn't mean anything.  Because yeah when Fluttershy does lose it there are reasons for it and it leaves an impact.  Both positive and negative.  More on that later.

- "The time at the Gala? I scared -me- that time! Can we, can we please not talk about that?"

- Pfft that whole screaming about the animals loving you? That's just PMS talking you can get over that.  But puffing out and going yeah quietly? You need to calm down with that one and figure things out man, jeez.  (Heh another joke I just wanted an excuse to use).

- I like the line of Fluttershy having to clarify that the Phoenix was not Celestia.  Yeah Celestia isn't a phoenix: when she's struck down she doesn't rise she just... stays there.  Yeah I still think that moment in "A Canterlot Wedding" was stupid and I'm going to keep mocking it, okay?

- "
In particular my bunny friend Angel. "

- Oh yeah that bunny everyone hates because at times he can act like a dick.  Hmmm actually whose is the best pony pet anyway? Let's see there's Angel, Twilight's Owl, Pinkie's alligator, Applejack's dog, Rainbow Dash's Turtle and Rarity's cat.  I think just for randomness I like Gummy most and... yeah I'm going with just Gummy overall.

ven when I was too terrified to move to face a dragon they didn't do the easy thing and discard me!"

- Well they also kind of forced you to go and fight that dragon as well since you didn't make it clear until the journey had began you were afraid of them.  But hey awesome moment in stopping it right and actually showing one more older then Spike dragon isn't a huge prick.  Yeah really some people wonder why poinies don't know a lot about dragon when so few of them are reasonable and well dragons are giant fire breathing monsters who can kill you just for getting near them.

- I like Flutershy pointing out she'd run if she thought that would work and since yeah Discord does have Q powers, whose to say that really would of? Nice little trying to make what may seem like a plothole make more sense.

- "
Wrong feelings feel!  Thinks Ditzy Doo Wonder If I This How? "

- Heh was the original edit of this Derpy Hooves and had to be changed or what? Then again I'm fairly sure this was made before that episode even came out and there was a canon name for that character but was probably still very popular in the fannon.  I wonder how a whole Discord Derpy/Ditzy would go... eh maybe that couldn't sustain even a short story so nevermind.

- I like actually described Fluttershy's state of mind when the change was going through and why she would replace all of her love with hateness and bitterment.  Personally I just really liked the scene of Discord's mind games not working for once and him just going "oh screw it" and changing her himself.  And you know to be fair even from what I've seen the diselements of haromy aka these nega ponies are based on latent desires that do bubble up every so often when the ponies are off their game and it's just their better selves that usually conceal it.  It was just Discord tricking them to get them to see it his way.  Kind of reminds me of my story night of the werehog brawl edition and with Fluttershy being Zero Suit Samus the one who couldn't be controlled through normal means so had to kind of more force the process.

 Took long enough for miss Goth Pony to finally get here. "

- Heh you know it's funny.  Tara Strong, voice of Twilight Sparkle voices Raven of Teen Titans.  And no there's more to the oberservation because in the comedic goofier variation of TT called Teen Titans Go, Raven is a fan of the obvious spoof of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic they have on their show.  I think it's called Pretty Pretty Pegasusi or something like that.  Anyway makes me wonder if there's an alternate variation of this show where an alternate Twilight is a fan of a parody of Raven and plays with toys based on her... see told you us "Dianes" ramble a lot.

- You know Fluttershy may be acting overly mean but she has a point of Celestria.  Really the ultra important elements of harmony should be handled wirh greater care.  Hell why don't each of the ponies who can actually use them just always have them or at least is in charge of them because why have it with Celestria if she can't even use them? And yeah I know some will say "But Canterlot is the most safe place" and I say again watch Canterlot Wedding.

- "
 It's like these memories belong to a different pony, but I know it's me. Well THIS version of me is disgusted with THAT version of me!"

- Almost as disguisted as TheMysteriousMrEnter was when you acted like this NOT under Discord's control.  Who is actually another big reason I finally got around to watching the show because he did reviews of all the eps and I wanted to watch those but wanted to see the show first and when Doug Walker reviewed the first episode I wanted to at least watch that which led to me watching the first two seasons in a week.  But yeah he absolutely abhores "Keeping Your Hoof Down" when Fluttershy really acts this way and tells off Rarity and Pinkie Pie and... I don't have that problem with it.  Again that hatred and bitterness doesn't stem from nothing and if you're pushed to a certain level you'll feel it.  Furthermore, that's actually how friends can act to pushed to extremes or at least given the wrong direction.  Because if you know someone and form a connection with them and have a falling out they know you well and know how to get to you and hurt you the most thus will say the most meanest or nasitest things just to make you feel really bad even if they'll feel horrible about it later.  I know I've fvelt that way which is why I actually can relate more to that episode then I guess he can.  And honestly having it said here shows more even if it's not in the character's true nature it is still in the character whether they like it or not.  Plus I always liked those lines about Fluttershy calling herself new Fluttershy.  Or angershy or Fluttercruel as you put it.

So yeah another solid entry into this one without any noticable holes or anything either.  

darkecofreak23 Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2013  Student Writer
Damn. Hard to watch nice Fluttershy turn into such a bitch.
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2013
In the first chapter/episode of reharmonization, she gives her 'bitch' self a stern talking to. 
darkecofreak23 Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2013  Student Writer
Yeah, but I gotta get through all the Dark World chapters beforehand. Still, I got into your work because I have a thing for amazons, and your TvTropes page said you made Rarity (who happens to be my favorite) into one, so thanks for that. :)
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2013
Actually, Dark World takes place narrative wise after Mind Games.
darkecofreak23 Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2013  Student Writer
Ok, well, can you point me to the closest chronology you have or can find, please? I'd like to read the thing in order.
darkecofreak23 Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2013  Student Writer
Thanks. BTW, you have a sick mind, and I sincerely mean that in the best way possible. I love how you're showing this lighthearted series with a dark and realistic tone.
LunaJeanie Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
miss 'Mary Sue fix everything with magic I'm worthless without it'
Add a Comment: