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My Little Pony Friendship is Magic
Healing Pony POV Series
"The Alicorn and the Steed"


I remember how I was born. How many ponies can say that? Oh right, I'm not a pony. And I wasn't born: born means you grew, you started as something tiny. I was made, aware and knowing the moment I came into existence. I came into existence whole and complete with nothing before it.

I don't know if the old man made me out of a piece of himself like his old man did before him, or whether I was just spun out of nothingness.

I remember being confused for the few moments after I was made, I heard words but didn't understand them, I felt sensations but had no clue what they meant.

Then everything snapped into focus as I shook my head and memories came to me. Of a life I'd never lived, of people I'd have never known, of a name I had never been called. I hear someone call that name. I recognize the voice I've never heard.

Twilight Sparkle: Nerd. Geek. Bookworm. Miss High And Mighty Magic. And now whining about something or other.

I swear I hear my thoughts being echoed inside my own head by a voice that's my own, but I ignore it.

I tell Twilight what I think of her and her magic now that she doesn't have any and give her a good whip to the face with my tail for good measure.

I see some other ponies I recognize, they're in my way, so I push them out of my way.

I remember how fun it was watching others squirm and playing others with hair triggers. I remember having fun making the geek blow-up twice at me, it was so easy!

Then the magical dodads of whatever failed to stop the draconequus, no big deal, I liked Angel the way he was right now anyway, and I didn't need these losers anyway.

Then the geek and the hayseed came to my home, and the hayseed LASSOED AND HOGTIED ME! WHO DOES SHE THINK SHE IS? This isn't funny, because it's happening to me! Then the geek touches her horn to my head.

And my thoughts are no longer echoing, and I see memories flash in my mind of me acting like a total half-wit Snow White wannabe and having less spine than a wild flower. It made me sick.

Then I felt pieces of something inside me reconnecting themselves, pulling themselves back together, and fusing into one piece. Problem was that it was where it was forming!

I was being crushed from all sides inside my own body! I was suffocating! I panicked. My legs and wings pressed into me like clay.

You ever been squeezed out of a tube into a freezing senseless nothingness? It's every bit of fun that you think it is.

And I drifted in the void, voiceless, senseless, helpless. In a black ocean without a surface, constantly drowning.

After a month, eternity or five minutes, something changed.

I saw a pink light like a butterfly, it hurt and made me sick just to look at it! It was horrible! I didn't know what it was but it was not me! I tried to swim away from it but it was like a black hole and I was sucked in!

I see another version of myself fly by, she has such anger on her face, so badass!

I'm in the sky! I'm flying! Pulling a balloon! Why am I here? And it floods back. Anger tells me that my friends being hurt was a bad thing that I should be angry. That the draconequus is a jackass that I don't want to see get anything he wants! I want to see him hurt! I want to see him squirm! I want him to beg for mercy when I won't have any!

"That, big, dumb, MEANIE!!!"

Huh? Why did I say something as first grade as that?

I speed like lightning towards the slacker loud-mouth, hayseed manages to lasso the slack loud-mouth and I feel a coolness run over me and . . .

I'm in the blackness, drowning, AGAIN!!!

Another eternity, another forever, another moment, time had no meaning. I thrash about madly this time. Let me out. Let me out! PLEASE LET ME OUT!

The blackness suddenly has a surface and completely exhausted, my formless, shapeless self floats to the top.

Memories, someone else's memories, came crashing in, I saw myself, saw her, acting in ways I'd never act, feeling things I'd never feel, thinking thought I never would.

I was celebrating in Canterlot, no, someone else was. I was groggy as senses returned and I had legs and wings again. Or were they mine? All I knew, was that it was someone else speaking and moving.

The losers called out my name, and she responded. She was me? No, she was she, she was Fluttershy.

I wasn't anything.

I screamed.

She didn't hear me, no one did.

I finally realized where -my- memories actually started. I remember her not playing along with the draconequus, Discord, I remember her knowing she was a pathetic weakling and her brain not able to process her friends abandoning her. So Discord got angry and punched through her brain with a tap on the head.

Then my memories started. I was her, no, I was an IMITATION OF HER made to be cruel. Discord, the draconequus, had made me, and left me. Bastard.

Like a straight jacketed ghost I was dragged along inside her. Her being always so pathetically shy and sickeningly kind as she fluttered.

I finally understood the first words said to me the moment I was made, 'You've been kind for far too long my dear, time to be cruel.'

I am Cruel? As she fluttered about among her loser friends I fluttered in my infinite but at the same time skin tight prison, I fluttered?

I hear her apologize profusely for what I did. They tell her that it wasn't the real her so there's nothing to forgive.

I'm not real?

I'm just an imitation of her? I am just a cruel Fluttershy? Cruel Fluttershy. FlutterCruel?

A name. I have a name. And not a moment later after too long I feel joyful surprise.  A tiny bit of myself roots into her body, my body. I can feel it twitch as I twitch! I have proof of my own exist. And I spread like a cancer, enjoying every moment of it.

Finally we're close enough that I can speak to her, that I CAN SPEAK!

I hear her thoughts. I laugh at her. I hear myself laugh on the outside! It was so sweet a feeling you have no idea you twits!

Then I spring myself on her when she got home, I let her known what I am and who I am and what she isn't. I tell her what I plan to do. She can be the 'me' that's a prisoner. I don't care if she was here first. I'm here now! And then . . .  she . . . sings . . . me . . . TO SLEEP!

That was well over a month ago, a lot more so, since I was born, created. I'm still FlutterCruel, I don't like being called what's just a modification of -her- name, but my name is just about the only thing I own and I'm going to keep it.

The longest time my jailer has let me out is when I gave a bear a good beating just to work out the tension in it's shoulders when my jailer needed to give some extra harsh chiropractic care.

I've been able to force myself to the surface a few times, I'm not sure what lets me. My jailer is just as surprised as me when it happens. Like when I made sure Pinkie didn't get out of her bed early, and when grounded Rainbow Dash going psycho.

And I got a good laugh out of scaring the feathers off her during her night home alone on Nightmare Night. I actually got her mumbling 'count the shadows' by the time it was morning.

I wanted to actually go out that night, but Fluttershy must have seen it coming because she locked the doors and windows and gave the keys to Angel and told him to not give them back to her until morning. I think Angel's guessed by now that 'mommy' is of two minds now, but he's taking it in stride. He actually unlocked the door for us when we had guests though.

Having Princess Luna show up wanting voice lessons was a riot! If Fluttershy hadn't made my body go catatonic I'd have been laughing my head off! Normally I find Fluttershy's cowardice sickening, but unlike the half-pint Pipsqueak I was more interested in good laugh for my first Nightmare Night than free candy!

I can't believe I'm been cowed and subjugated by a pony whose scared of her own shadow and neglects her wings so badly it's a wonder they haven't atrophied!

At least Angel's fun to hang around with, I think I appreciate his attitude more than my jailer.

"That poor filly." My jailer said as we feed the animals. "I should go look for her too. She could be lost somewhere out there all alone." I've finally gotten used to hearing my own voice speak without me.

"Planning on giving her a lesson in manners too?" I said deadpan.

"I would if I thought she'd listen."

"That's hasn't stopped you with me." The animals have long since gotten used to me speaking to myself. I still think they looked cooler when the old man had his fun.

"I'd say it's worked fairly well. You don't want to admit it. But I can tell you've changed."

"Yes warden."

"I've been trying to help you, not imprison you."

"You have a funny way of showing it."

"You might have my memories. But you have almost no experiences of your own. You're like a filly in a mare's body sometimes. Which is rather scary when I think about it. It wouldn't be so bad if somepony became a filly again in mind AND body, cause then you're just giving them a second chance at finding themselves if their life had hit a dead end and they can't find their way out. But it would feel way too much like stealing if you just made someone a filly in mind without giving them those years to learn the world again."

"You think maybe Nightmare Moon started out the same age as Celestia, and became a Alicorn filly when she got blasted by the Elements for those reasons?" I asked off handedly curious.

"Maybe. I doubt we'll ever know for sure."

"We could ya know, ASK."

"ASK Princess LUNA about her age-?! THAT'S! I mean-let's keep looking."

We spent the evening looking for the brat. Before we finally came home and went to bed. No matter what happened, we shared the same brain, so when one of us fell unconscious so did the other, when of us dreamed, so did the other though we never saw each other's dreams. There was an infinite abyss between us there. And I was very grateful for that. It meant there was one more thing that belonged only to me and didn't also belong to my jailer.

We woke up the next morning and she had breakfast. Of course I tasted it as she was eating, but I couldn't help the feeling every time that I was being spoon feed like a toddler.

"We should go looking a bit more for Diamond Tiara today." She said with my voice.

"For a filly you don't even know and from all accounts is Gilda with hooves?"

"You like Gilda."

"You don't."

"That doesn't mean I want to see a small filly out there somewhere cold alone hungry and scared."

I growled. "Then what are you waiting for?! Go! Go! Carry as many bags of food and blankets you can and fly and do not rest until you arrive in Zebrabwa! All those starving little zebra foals! Go! Go!"

I so regretted saying that a second later from the splitting headache of Fluttershy on reaction alone trying to fly out of the kitchen in a beeline for the distant land of strips and spots and ramming her head on the door frame. UGH! Even our house is barely built for flying!

Fluttershy shook her head and trotted over to the ice box and placed a bag of ice against our head to sooth the throbbing. That felt so much better.

"I was being sarcastic." I managed to grunt.

" . . . If I could help, I would. But I'm not a rescue worker . . . and I have a responcibility to my animals."

"So dumb animals matter more than ponies who can think and speak?"

I felt a kick in my shin.

I looked down and aplogized. "Sorry Angel, didn't mean you."

"Everything alive is precious. Including you FlutterCruel. Nothing should have to suffer."

"Pssh. I'm not alive. And suffering is a part of life girl. Welcome to reality."

"It shouldn't have to be! And we really do need to look for her! She could have wandered into the Everfree Forest! That horrible place! I get shivers just thinking of it! All those poor animals force to eat each other because Everfree won't let us provide for them! It's just not natural."

" . . . you think animals eating each other on their own is not natural?" I asked drolly.

"HOW CAN IT BE? Life taking life?! Livings things are supposed to grow and propagate not destroy each other!"

I said in a completely flat tone. "Okay. That's it. You know what? I think I'll just fly to the Griffons' Dens and order a hamburger."

"WHAT?"

"Don't be such a scary-cat, griffons haven't eaten ponies in a thousand years."

"THAT'S NOT IT! And you're not!"

"Oh just watch me! Or rather, watch you!" I began to trot towards the door.

"Oh no you're not!" I tripped on my own hooves.

"Oh yes I am!" I got up and made a flying gallop before my wings spread out and stopped me dead in my tracks making me crash. Our nose throbbed now. "You're making this harder than it has to be."

"I said no!"

I crawled foreword while she dug in our back hooves.

"And I said yes!" I hissed.

"ANGEL! HELP-clean up while mama is gone. Oh and you can take out those wolf traps mama told you to throw out but you just hid under the house." I said in the most warm and loving voice I could create dripping with honey.

Angel just grinned, saluted and was a white blur off to retrieve his contraband.

Fluttershy startled. I can't blame her, I've never been able to take control like this before!

"I won't let you do something so unnatural! Think of the poor cows! I'm friends with some!"

"You are! I'm not dummy! And you aren't going to be friends with the hamburger! And are you saying dragons and griffons are unnatural then?"

"It's unnatural for ponies!"

"Ponies CAN eat meat stupid!"

"That doesn't mean they SHOULD!"

Oh no she didn't. I stopped dead in my tracks. When did Celestia crown this pony the magistrate of what was and what was not natural? Who was she to make that call? "You . . . you . . ." I said gritting my teeth. "You high and mighty, holier than thou, YOU MAKE ME SO MAD!" I snarled. My entire body went stiff standing at attention. I began shaking and rumbling like a volcano. I wondered if we were going to explode. It felt like all of Equestria was shaking. I couldn't take this anymore! I don't care if I die (oh right need to be alive for that), just let me out, let me out! LET ME- it stopped.

"Huh?" I blinked and looked around, down at myself and at my wings. Everything seemed all right.

"What happened?" I heard a voice say out of my mouth.

"I don't . . . wait . . ." I flapped in the air then did a dangerous loop de loop in doors. "No! Stop!"

I landed huffing but smiling. Could it be? Was it real?

I looked in the mirror, I saw a worried face look back. "FlutterCruel what-"

"BOO! BAH! BLABLABLA! Hahah!" I made several faces at the mirror. I giggled. "I'm the Alicorn! You're the steed! At last!" I cackled. Then I noticed something strange. "Blank?" There was no sign of her cutie mark on my haunches. Huh? How did that work? Oh well. "Well that makes things harder."

I looked through Fluttershy's closet, still filled with dresses from her model days until I found and put on a simple green saddle skirt that hid my flanks. "You know what? Forget the hamburger! Let's have a nice outing instead!" I grinned ear to ear.

I went out the front door. Which hoof first? Left or right? Oh right, I get to choose! Not her! I laughed. I fell on my back and laughed and kicked my hoofs in the air! I existed! I was! I was alive! I actually cried I was so happy. Did these make the first tears of my life?

"You stop this right now-"

"No." I said simply and she was silent. I trotted out the door and flew towards Ponyville.

"You know maybe I'll find and share with the Crusader a few drops of Witch Weed. Maybe their cutie marks are Witch Weed Dealers."

"I'LL DROWN US FIRST!" I could already feel Fluttershy ready to bite through our own tongue.

"KIDDING! Just joking! Geeze!" I laughed so hard at hearing her so uncharacteristically serious.

"What . . . are you going to do?" She asked sounding very worried. It was great.

"Some as anyone else: anything I want."

I sang.

I know this place filled with so many wonders
Casting its spell that I so remember.
Birds in the trees and the cute tough bunnies,
Me flying free tastes just like honey,
Honey~!

Oh, what a magical place,
And the other me is now out of my face!
I knew the outside had so much up its sleeve
And now that I'm here, I'll never leave.

I am me,

I don't owe anyone anythiiiiiiiiiing!


Not The End
This was meant to be part of the previous chapter! Stupid text length limits!

Previous Part: [link]
Next Part: Penultimate Beta01: [link]

The Reharmonized/Recovery Pony POV series is here!
[link]

AND NOW WE HAVE OUR TV TROPES PAGE! YAY! [link]

Discord is beaten. The world is restored to it's proper balance and sanity and Celestia rule the day once again. But it's the scars ponies bear that you can't see that take the longest to heal. What was going on in those three weeks between episodes two and three of the second season? How did they recovery and heal from this ordeal that we didn't see?

Every one of the mane six plus one has seems to have worked their way through their problems . . . but there are sure a lot of loose ends to tie-up, and one of these loose threads when pulled just might start unraveling everything!

This series uses a lot of the ground work established in the Discord Ponies POV series.
[link]

Recovery POVs In order:
Fluttershy and Flutter Cruel: [link]
Rainbow Dash: [link]
Rarity: [link]
Applejack: [link]
Pinkamina: [link]
Twilight Sparkles: [link]
Rainbow Dash True Healing: [link]
Trixie: [link]
Second Family: [link]
The Alicorn And The Steed: here
Penultimate Beta01: [link]
Penultimate Beta02: [link]
Teacher teacher: [link]
POV SIDE STORY CANTERLOT CHAOS: (Consider canon of your own free will!)
[link]

Also, thank the author of the pony psychology series, for his stuff inspired me have a complete saga focusing each time on one of the group in particular. [link] Now if only Equestria daily would let my stuff on.

Also now have our OWN FANFICTION OF FANFICTION!!! Sort of.

A fanfiction in style of a normal pony being corrupted by Discord done by C8LIN The Hedgie! [link]

There is also the 'letters to ponies' series that are short addresses to the ponies after their corruption to try and call them to reason written by Teyandee05! [link]

MLP:FiM Copyright Hasbro

EDIT: After multiple comments I edited Fluttershy and FluttCruel's argument. Hopefully it feels less OOC this time for Fluttershy and less like FlutterSTRAW Pony. Also changed one or two words in FlutterCruel's song.

EDIT: Added FlutterCruel's mental reaction to Fluttershy's declaration of what is and what is not natural. And just how Fluttershy PLANNED to drown them if Fluttercruel hadn't been joking. (She WAS joking? Right? Right?)

EDIT: Added Fluttercruel's own point of view of Nightmare Night.

Edited 2012 June 3rd By Dracodei and an expansion on a tiny bit of fridge logic. [link]
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:iconitsfrompeople:
We start the chapter with Fluttercruel thinking about herself. How she was created already complete and sentient. She doesn’t even sees herself as a pony, her descriptions of herself seem more like she is characterizing an object created from Chaos or the Nothingness. She doesn’t believe she could ever be anything else then what she started as: A cruel version of Fluttershy.

Slowly the memories of Fluttershy came to her and she started to act on her impulses and begins to insult and hurt the others. It is the only thing she knew and she did it to entertain herself. She actually likes the strange shapes the animals take under Discord’s influence. All while she hears a voice inside that hints that her kind half is at least somewhat aware of the entire event, being unable to do anything. This would make her part of the Epilogue even more horrifying since this would mean Fluttershy had to watch her commit all those horrible acts and be forced to see everything.

This comes to an end when Twilight and Applejack overwhelm her and use the memory spell to bring Fluttershy back. For the first time Fluttercruel finds herself on the receiving end of a cruel act. The memory spell lets her see all the kindness Fluttershy felt and this is enough to bring the kind half back. The cruel half is quite literary crushed inside her kind half, just like Fluttershy was forced aside before.

She doesn’t know how long she stayed like this but eventually someone called out for her. She finds herself dragging the balloon in the last act of the desperate struggle against the seemingly insane Rainbow Dash. But she isn’t alone she saw an angry version of Fluttershy. This version was angry that Discord hurt her friends and wanted him to suffer for this. Fluttercruel pulled everything into the chase and she managed to reach Rainbow Dash and Applejack lassoed her in. She finds herself back into the nothingness but is eventually able to see and feels Fluttershy again. Now she was in the same body but unable to do anything. She began to realize that the other her is Fluttershy. Fluttercruel had no idea who she is and only slowly began to piece it together and realized that Discord had created her to make it look like he corrupted Fluttershy when he couldn’t, only to abandon her the moment he didn’t need her anymore. She hated being dragged along Fluttershy and being forced to watch her acting kind, shy and staying on the ground instead of flying.

Slowly she became able to understand the one sentence Discord actually said to her. Fluttercruel decided to name herself after the most obvious difference she has to her kind half and chose “Fluttercruel” as her name. The name is still precious to her. It is the first thing she created on her own, when she could think clear, and it belongs only to her. The other Pegasus became more and more a different person and grew inside Fluttershy. She really enjoyed the moment she feeled herself moving and becoming more and more. To her it was another proof of her existence she desperately needs. Eventually she was able to talk to kind half. Fluttercruel was overjoyed with her new progress. She scared Fluttershy and threatened to take over, only to loose to the only seemingly weak willed pony.

From time to time Fluttershy let her take over similar to what Pinkie Pie did but her motivations are less selfish then Pinkie Pie’s. She didn’t place Fluttercruel in situations she herself didn’t like but instead let her out once she felt she needed her help like with the bear. But Fluttercruel managed to take control at certain points once to make sure that Pinkie Pie continues to sleep and another time to calm down Rainbow Dash before she becomes a Nightmare. In both cases she was actually trying to help them in her own way. This is likely why Fluttershy couldn’t stop her. On Nightmare Night it was Fluttercruel that was responsible for her kind half’s fear, that just got worse when Luna arrived there.
Over time both and her animals got somewhat used to the two sharing their life and Fluttercruel started to like Angel for having the assertiveness that Fluttershy lacked. They talk about the disappearance of Diamond Tiara but quickly change to topic to their unique relationship. Fluttershy is sure that Fluttercruel started to change for the better while her cruel half complains about her imprisonment. Fluttershy sees her other half as a child, her child, and thinks she still needs to learn a lot before she can have an adult body. She thinks the concept of a child in the body of an adult is scary but if an adult in a desperate situation would be changed in a child both in body and mind it wouldn’t be that horrible and be more like a second chance at life. She doesn’t even notices this still means to loose the old life and every bit of personality gained in it. This idea will come back later. Then both look for Diamond Tiara without success and finally fall asleep. They don’t share their dreams and Fluttercruel is happy about this, since it means there is another thing that is truly her own.

Fluttershy wants to search another time and Fluttercruel jokes that she should help to feed all the staving fillies in Zebrabwa. Unfortunately her other half takes this very literal and actually tries to fly there, only to hurt her head on the door frame. Fluttershy really regrets that there are beings and ponies she can’t help while her cruel half reminds her that suffering is a part of life. Fluttershy completely refuses to believe this. To her life is helping each other and being kind, not pain and death. She even claims that predators taking life is unnatural. Her view on life is really limited. Fluttercruel starts to get annoyed by her other half’s blindness and self-righteousness and suggests they should go to the griffons and order a hamburger.

Both fight for control and as Fluttershy tries to scream at Angel to help her, her other side manages to override her and change the plea mid-sentence. She never took control like this and is even able to do a convincing impersonation of Fluttershy and sends Angel away. Now the two are alone. Fluttershy actually has a good reason for objecting so strongly to eating a hamburger, cows are sentient and she knows several of them. Fluttercruel thinks that if dragons and griffons eat meat, eating it can hardly be unnatural. Instead of trying to use another argument Fluttershy just repeats what she said earlier: While ponies can eat meat, they shouldn’t do that.

This isn’t kindness, it is self-righteousness and it makes Fluttercruel so mad that she suddenly switches places with her kind half. Now she is in control of the body and Fluttershy is the voice. Fluttercruel is extremely happy to move all by herself and be finally in control. But then she notices that she lacks Fluttershy’s Cutie Mark and it would be suspicious to been seen without it. So she hides it under a dress. The sudden feeling of freedom as she leaves the house is enough to make her cry in happiness. Fluttershy doesn’t put up that much resistance until her cruel half jokes that she could share Witch Weed with the CMC. It is clear there are certain things that the kind half won’t tolerate. But Fluttercruel isn’t actually interested in hurting anyone or making any plans. She is just so happy to be really alive that she sings Fluttershy’s song “So Many Wonders” And it isn’t a villainous song, it is about her happiness over being free of Fluttershy and making her own decisions.

Overall this short chapter changes a lot and starts the foundation of the second season of the Reharmonized / Healing Ponies POV Series. It is very clear that Fluttercruel did change thanks to Fluttershy and her taking over is a lot less threatening then it was when she tried it first in the “Pearls” chapter. While she doesn’t acknowledge it, she has grown and she has changed. She isn’t the one-dimensional bully she were, neither is she the complete monster she could have been. She is just herself. Fluttershy on the other hand starts to show some very unnerving traits like her unshakable belief in kindness even if reality contradicts it. She doesn’t even say that her cruel half has the wrong opinion on certain unkind aspects of life and nature and instead says these very aspects of life are wrong and shouldn’t be like this.
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:iconkarrinblue:
KarrinBlue Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2012
Zebrabwa

Later, you call it Zebrafrica.
Reply
:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2012
What? Zebrawa can't be PART of Zebrafrica?
Reply
:iconkarrinblue:
KarrinBlue Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2012
Sure it can! I just thought you might've forgotten calling it Zerbrawa here.
Reply
:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2012
Ironically I forgot the spelling, so I went with Zebrafrica for a while. But Zebrafrica is a land mass while Zerbrawa is a location.
Reply
:iconkarrinblue:
KarrinBlue Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2012
OK, that makes sense.
Reply
:iconguilrel:
Guilrel Featured By Owner Feb 29, 2012
I was kind of afraid that this might be the part where you-know-who shows up. But I'm glad it didn't happen in this chapter otherwise it would have felt too fast. Starting from FlutterCruel's perspective was very odd and disorienting at the same time, it took me a while to actually figure out that the POV this time is from her. You did a good job of conveying an "awakening" at the beginning there when the story turned out to be her.

FlutterCruel's struggle for control over the body was also interesting and I understand what the Tropers meant that it should've been a bad thing first but it really wasn't in the end. After going through her perspective of being a different personality of Fluttershy her escape in the end made the end seem really nice, good job.
Reply
:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2012
Thank you. :-) I'm satisfied that everything worked out. Cruel's POV was to explore what things were like for her. *hugs*
Reply
:iconguilrel:
Guilrel Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2012
You're welcome. It was a very interesting experience. Although with all this hugging, I should probably go see how my friends are doing so far.
Reply
:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2012
Yes.
Reply
:iconguilrel:
Guilrel Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2012
Yeah...
Reply
:icondracodei:
DracoDei Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
BELOW COMMENT CONTAINS SPOILERS!
(Can't believe I forgot what is almost my trademark phrase as a reviewer.)
Reply
:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2012
Happens. *hugs* NIce to have you back.
Reply
:icondracodei:
DracoDei Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
This isn't funny because it's happening to me!
-This sentence feels awkward, maybe put a comma after "funny" or reword it. Maybe "This is happening to ME, so it isn't funny."... I dunno.

You ever been squeezed out of a tube into a freezing senseless nothingness? It's every bit of fun that you think it is.
-"senseless" as in "nonsensical", or "senseless" as in "sensory deprivation environment"? Despite it contradicting with "freezing" I favor the second interpretation. The "freezing" part could be a spiritual, rather than sensory thing.

I'm in the sky! I'm flying! Pulling a balloon! Why am I here?
-Ah, makes sense that that would be what would grant her her partial freedom.

I'm in the blackness, drowning, AGAIN!!!
-Interesting that she goes back, rather than maintaining her ability to sense. Makes just as much sense as the other way, and builds sympathy for the character.

I was celebrating in Canterlot, no, someone else was. I was groggy as senses returned and I had legs and wings again.
-Wonder why this happened? Was Fluttershy just letting down her subconscious mental defenses? I don't think it would serve us well for me to go back and... eh... I guess I have the energy to not get bogged down by rereading "Pearls". Ok... It seems that the story starts after the awards cerimony so... no big clues there.

I wasn't anything.
I screamed.
-Effective storytelling.

She didn't hear me, no one did.
-If I hadn't (re-?)read "Pearls", this would be terrifying.

Discord, the draconequus, had made me, and left me. Bastard.
-Yep, he pretty much is.

A name. I have a name. And not a moment later after too long I feel joyful surprise. A tiny bit of myself roots into her body, my body.
-One wonders if the name lead to the power. Names have power... but I am going to guess it was mostly a coincidence.

I'm still FlutterCruel, I don't like being called what's just a modification of -her- name, but my name is just about the only thing I own and I'm going to keep it.
-Interesting line of reasoning. Makes sense. Although I am sure that Flutterhsy would say that FlutterCruel is welcome to whatever of her's that she can be trusted with. Dunno how much "well you live here too so I will let you into the 'driver's seat' time Fluttershy is giving FlutterCruel. I know someone with multiple personalities, and there are apparently issues with the time-sharing.

The longest time my jailer has let me out is when I gave a bear a good beating just to work out the tension in it's shoulders when my jailer needed to give some extra harsh chiropractic care.
-Nice adaptation to episodes as they come out, and the facial expressions certainly implied rage, rather than just summoning up adrenline to apply enough force. Interesting that she managed to hit the right spots. Guess she shares FS's knowledge-base.

Like when I made sure Pinkie didn't get her bed early,
-"get out of her bed early," It is also at this point that I wonder what the number of totally brain dead but on life-support ponies is in Equestria per year, and/or what the limits of unicorn magic are as far as making golem's. Once Fluttercruel has been properly "raised" by Fluttershy, and she is ready to "leave the nest", I wonder if Twilight's 3rd master's project (in Magic, not Friendship) might be to make Fluttercruel a seperate body and transfer her into it.


And I got a good laugh out of scaring the feathers off her during her night home alone on Nightmare Night.
-Interesting... makes sense.

I actually got her mumbling 'count the shadows' by the time it was morning.
-Is this a reference to something? Nightmare Moon's "gaseous night sky" form? Anyway, the idea of there being an "extra shadow" (or one missing) is pretty common horror material. Will be interesting to see what Fluttercruel makes of Luna. I also wonder how much of Fluttershy's attempts at flight were because FC was trying to grab control and do something that would have... seriously annoyed Luna. That could have had consequences, since Luna has both authority (she canceled Nightmare Night) and raw power at her horn-tip. Don't think she would have used the second, except to take FS prisoner.

I wanted to actually go out that night, but Fluttershy must have seen it coming because she locked the doors and windows and gave the keys to Angel and told him to not give them back to her until morning.
-Eh, I guess she would have been much worse than Rainbow Dash.

interesting in good laugh for my first Nightmare Night
-"interested in a good laugh"

"Maybe. I doubt we'll ever know for sure."
-You could ASK you know... of course, Fluttershy is to shy to think of that...

We spent the evening looking for the brat.
-Ok, now that I am more sure of where we are, I will say that it seems like you need something to denote another time-skip. Don't think that the stabbing happened very soon after Nightmare Night... or did it?

but I couldn't help the feeling every time that I was being spoon feed like a toddler.
-Interesting point, and when FC gets far enough to be trusted not to start a nasty foodfight with Angel, I think that Fluttershy might actually find that nice. Then again, she is timid, not dependent. In fact, I would think that not liking to approach somepony for help would make her VERY self sufficient. Also, I may be crossing this over with my idea that Fluttershy is going to run into some... "bedroom problems" after she gets married, and the solution will be for her husband to render her helpless(he would just have to ask nicely) until she gets it through her head that since he can have a FINE time even WITHOUT her active participation, she can stop fretting and relax and enjoy herself even when they go back to omitting the (self-releasing) restraints.

"You like Gilda."
-Nice point.

"You don't."
-Madam, you are fighting a lost cause. That argument only works on people acting out of philios, not agape.

I so regretted saying that a second later from the splitting headache of Fluttershy on reaction alone trying to fly out of the kitchen in a beeline for the distant land of strips and spots and ramming her head on the door frame.
-More than any word-based argument, this proves Fluttershy's point. Although some of it might have been trying to comply with stuff shouted at her. Only SOME though because I am sure that Fluttercruel could shout at her a lot with other words and Fluttershy wouldn't act on them.

I felt a kick in my shine.
-shin

I looked down and aplogized. "Sorry Angel, didn't mean you."
-This shows progress, even if the only reason she likes Angel is that Angel can be a bit of a jerk sometimes.

"Don't be such a scary-cat, griffons haven't eaten ponies in a thousand years."
-But they do eat cows that can talk? Or do you have my "funeral rites = recycling the body starting with turning parts into manufactured goods" thing as part of your canon, just not for Ponies? Also, is The Griffon's Den a restaurant, a ghetto (in the NON-negative sense of the word) or a village in a Griffon nation?

I got up and made a flying gallop before my winds spread out
-wings

Oh and you can take out those wolf traps mama told you to throw out but you just hid under the house."
-I know that this episode hadn't come out when you wrote this probably, but I wonder if it would be harder or easier to make a non-maiming (possibly injuring, but nothing permanent) trap for an Everfree timberwolf than for a normal wolf.

I can't blame her, I've never been able to take control like this before!
-Wonder if this is from Discord returning via Diamond Tiara, or if it is Fluttercruel growing stronger as she grows?

"Blank?" There was no sign of her cutie mark on my haunches.
-Nice touch! Cutiemarks represent the finding of the place in life, and are supernatureal, more than just color patterns in the hair. Fluttercruel hasn't found her place yet! (Will be interesting to see if she can get one by being mean.)

"No." I said simple and she was silent.
-simply

You know maybe I'll find and share with the Crusader a few drops of Witch Weed.
-Did you ever mention this before? Sounds like something to leave up to the reader maybe. Maybe it gives magical powers (even to pegasi and earth-ponies, but multiplying the powers of unicorns in the same sort of way that PCP can SOMETIMES unlock strength like adrenaline can) but wrecks the mind. Maybe it is just chewable heroin.

"I'LL DROWN US FIRST!" I could already feel Fluttershy ready to bite through our own tongue.
-Drown them in there own blood? Never let it be said that Fluttershy wasn't ready to do what it takes... wonder if she has ever done a leg amputation on a gangrenous animal-limb.... and it is only NOW that I remember what Witch-weed is. Nice mythology reference. Thought it sounded familiar, but was thinking it was from another fanfic.

I don't owe anyone anythiiiiiiiiiing!
-Nice "dark reprise"...
Reply
:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2012
"You ever been squeezed out of a tube into a freezing senseless nothingness? It's every bit of fun that you think it is.
-"senseless" as in "nonsensical", or "senseless" as in "sensory deprivation environment"? Despite it contradicting with "freezing" I favor the second interpretation. The "freezing" part could be a spiritual, rather than sensory thing."

I figure either interpretation works.

"I'm in the sky! I'm flying! Pulling a balloon! Why am I here?
-Ah, makes sense that that would be what would grant her her partial freedom."

She hitched a ride with Flutterrage.

"I'm in the blackness, drowning, AGAIN!!!
-Interesting that she goes back, rather than maintaining her ability to sense. Makes just as much sense as the other way, and builds sympathy for the character."

I don't like to play 'tricks' on the audience's heart that way, at least I don't try to do it CONSCIOUSLY. In this case it has to do with Cruel being used then sent back.

"I was celebrating in Canterlot, no, someone else was. I was groggy as senses returned and I had legs and wings again.
-Wonder why this happened? Was Fluttershy just letting down her subconscious mental defenses? I don't think it would serve us well for me to go back and... eh... I guess I have the energy to not get bogged down by rereading "Pearls". Ok... It seems that the story starts after the awards cerimony so... no big clues there."

It could be something as simple as Cruel's desire to live and to exist pushing against the ice sheet on top of the pond.

"I wasn't anything.
I screamed.
-Effective storytelling."

Thanks.

She didn't hear me, no one did.
-If I hadn't (re-?)read "Pearls", this would be terrifying.

Thanks.

Discord, the draconequus, had made me, and left me. Bastard.
-Yep, he pretty much is.

Yes.

"A name. I have a name. And not a moment later after too long I feel joyful surprise. A tiny bit of myself roots into her body, my body.
-One wonders if the name lead to the power. Names have power... but I am going to guess it was mostly a coincidence."

Names have power in this instance because she's building up her own Ego, nothing can't have a body, but someone can (rather ironic given her later angst over being a parody).

"I'm still FlutterCruel, I don't like being called what's just a modification of -her- name, but my name is just about the only thing I own and I'm going to keep it.
-Interesting line of reasoning. Makes sense. Although I am sure that Flutterhsy would say that FlutterCruel is welcome to whatever of her's that she can be trusted with."

Fluttershy? Of course!

"Dunno how much "well you live here too so I will let you into the 'driver's seat' time Fluttershy is giving FlutterCruel. I know someone with multiple personalities, and there are apparently issues with the time-sharing."

Fluttershy and Fluttercruel aren't quite true split personalities since both have a complete Ego. Pinkie Pie and her fragments better represent normal split personalities.

"The longest time my jailer has let me out is when I gave a bear a good beating just to work out the tension in it's shoulders when my jailer needed to give some extra harsh chiropractic care.
-Nice adaptation to episodes as they come out, and the facial expressions certainly implied rage, rather than just summoning up adrenline to apply enough force. Interesting that she managed to hit the right spots. Guess she shares FS's knowledge-base."

They share knowledge up to when Fluttershy was Discord. They can only hear 'loud' thoughts from each other, but they can't black out senses.

Like when I made sure Pinkie didn't get her bed early,
-"get out of her bed early," It is also at this point that I wonder what the number of totally brain dead but on life-support ponies is in Equestria per year, and/or what the limits of unicorn magic are as far as making golem's. Once Fluttercruel has been properly "raised" by Fluttershy, and she is ready to "leave the nest", I wonder if Twilight's 3rd master's project (in Magic, not Friendship) might be to make Fluttercruel a seperate body and transfer her into it."

Granted that would be a relatively practical solution.

"And I got a good laugh out of scaring the feathers off her during her night home alone on Nightmare Night.
-Interesting... makes sense."

Thanks.

"I actually got her mumbling 'count the shadows' by the time it was morning."
-Is this a reference to something? Nightmare Moon's "gaseous night sky" form? Anyway, the idea of there being an "extra shadow" (or one missing) is pretty common horror material."

[link]

[link]

Doctor who reference.


"Will be interesting to see what Fluttercruel makes of Luna. I also wonder how much of Fluttershy's attempts at flight were because FC was trying to grab control and do something that would have... seriously annoyed Luna. That could have had consequences, since Luna has both authority (she canceled Nightmare Night) and raw power at her horn-tip. Don't think she would have used the second, except to take FS prisoner."

Homer Simpson: D'OH!

"I wanted to actually go out that night, but Fluttershy must have seen it coming because she locked the doors and windows and gave the keys to Angel and told him to not give them back to her until morning.
-Eh, I guess she would have been much worse than Rainbow Dash."

Indeed!

"Maybe. I doubt we'll ever know for sure."
-You could ASK you know... of course, Fluttershy is to shy to think of that…"

Edited something in.

"We spent the evening looking for the brat.
-Ok, now that I am more sure of where we are, I will say that it seems like you need something to denote another time-skip. Don't think that the stabbing happened very soon after Nightmare Night... or did it?"

She stabbed her on Heart and Hooves Day.

but I couldn't help the feeling every time that I was being spoon feed like a toddler.
"-Interesting point, and when FC gets far enough to be trusted not to start a nasty foodfight with Angel, I think that Fluttershy might actually find that nice. Then again, she is timid, not dependent. In fact, I would think that not liking to approach somepony for help would make her VERY self sufficient. Also, I may be crossing this over with my idea that Fluttershy is going to run into some... "bedroom problems" after she gets married, and the solution will be for her husband to render her helpless(he would just have to ask nicely) until she gets it through her head that since he can have a FINE time even WITHOUT her active participation, she can stop fretting and relax and enjoy herself even when they go back to omitting the (self-releasing) restraints."

Dynamics will have changed by then.

"You like Gilda."
-Nice point.

Thanks.

"You don't."
-Madam, you are fighting a lost cause. That argument only works on people acting out of philios, not agape.

I so regretted saying that a second later from the splitting headache of Fluttershy on reaction alone trying to fly out of the kitchen in a beeline for the distant land of strips and spots and ramming her head on the door frame.
-More than any word-based argument, this proves Fluttershy's point. Although some of it might have been trying to comply with stuff shouted at her. Only SOME though because I am sure that Fluttercruel could shout at her a lot with other words and Fluttershy wouldn't act on them.



"I looked down and aplogized. "Sorry Angel, didn't mean you."
-This shows progress, even if the only reason she likes Angel is that Angel can be a bit of a jerk sometimes."

She's relating to those like her, rather than being a tribe of one, which is sort of progress.

""Don't be such a scary-cat, griffons haven't eaten ponies in a thousand years."
-But they do eat cows that can talk? Or do you have my "funeral rites = recycling the body starting with turning parts into manufactured goods" thing as part of your canon, just not for Ponies? Also, is The Griffon's Den a restaurant, a ghetto (in the NON-negative sense of the word) or a village in a Griffon nation?"

Given how creepy, strange, and alien the idea of meeting meat is for ponies, they likely have no clue how griffins go about it.

"Oh and you can take out those wolf traps mama told you to throw out but you just hid under the house."
-I know that this episode hadn't come out when you wrote this probably, but I wonder if it would be harder or easier to make a non-maiming (possibly injuring, but nothing permanent) trap for an Everfree timberwolf than for a normal wolf."

Who cam say?

"I can't blame her, I've never been able to take control like this before!
-Wonder if this is from Discord returning via Diamond Tiara, or if it is Fluttercruel growing stronger as she grows?"

The latter is far more likely.

""Blank?" There was no sign of her cutie mark on my haunches.
-Nice touch! Cutiemarks represent the finding of the place in life, and are supernatureal, more than just color patterns in the hair. Fluttercruel hasn't found her place yet! (Will be interesting to see if she can get one by being mean.)"

You'll see.


"You know maybe I'll find and share with the Crusader a few drops of Witch Weed.
-Did you ever mention this before? Sounds like something to leave up to the reader maybe. Maybe it gives magical powers (even to pegasi and earth-ponies, but multiplying the powers of unicorns in the same sort of way that PCP can SOMETIMES unlock strength like adrenaline can) but wrecks the mind. Maybe it is just chewable heroin."

Gonna leave it up to the readers.

""I'LL DROWN US FIRST!" I could already feel Fluttershy ready to bite through our own tongue.
-Drown them in there own blood? Never let it be said that Fluttershy wasn't ready to do what it takes... wonder if she has ever done a leg amputation on a gangrenous animal-limb.... and it is only NOW that I remember what Witch-weed is. Nice mythology reference. Thought it sounded familiar, but was thinking it was from another fanfic."

Thanks. Glad you found it in character rather than jarring.

"I don't owe anyone anythiiiiiiiiiing!
-Nice "dark reprise"…"

COnsidered changing it to 'anypony' but Cruel doesn't have that style of speaking down quite yet.
Reply
:iconltofsmitia:
lTofSMITIA Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
OH SHIT HE'S BACK. AND AS TERRIFYING AS EVER.

Okay, sorry. That was just my immediate thought. But, I must say, I really think this should be its own chapter. It has a very distinctly different feel from the rest of the previous one. It's much more personal and emotional, like most of your chapters have been. I'd say it works much better on its own.

But ahhhhh holy crap I'm so scared now!! What's gonna happen to Fluttershy??? Oh sweet Celestia, why did I have to start reading these so late?? I wanna read more, but I know I really ought to go to sleep. To the moon with it all!!

I can't really find anything in particular to criticize on this one. It's back to the style you work best in, and it really elicits that emotional reaction. It's really very good.

One thing I especially like was Fluttershy's whole views on the morality of meat-eating. As a vegetarian myself, I agree with a lot of it, and I find the subtle differences that simply trace back to Equestria's differences to Earth very fascinating. That whole debate I really liked. Two line in particular stuck out at me:

"So dumb animals matter more than ponies who can think and speak?"
...
"Everything alive is precious. Including you FlutterCruel. Nothing should have to suffer."

This is basically my main argument, as well as the opposition it is met with (just flipped). I didn't think I could love Fluttershy more than I already did, but to hear her voice some of my strongest morals really struck a cord with me.

...and I just read the end again, and am completely terrified once again. I don't really feel like I can be angry at FlutterCruel, but I certainly am horribly afraid for Fluttershy. I really can't wait to read the next chapter. This is really intense.
Reply
:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2012
"OH SHIT HE'S BACK. AND AS TERRIFYING AS EVER."

Hmmm?

"Okay, sorry. That was just my immediate thought. But, I must say, I really think this should be its own chapter. It has a very distinctly different feel from the rest of the previous one. It's much more personal and emotional, like most of your chapters have been. I'd say it works much better on its own."

Strange how that works out.

"But ahhhhh holy crap I'm so scared now!! What's gonna happen to Fluttershy??? Oh sweet Celestia, why did I have to start reading these so late?? I wanna read more, but I know I really ought to go to sleep. To the moon with it all!!"

You better start reading the next few chapter then! If you want to know those answers!

"I can't really find anything in particular to criticize on this one. It's back to the style you work best in, and it really elicits that emotional reaction. It's really very good."

THanks. Sadly a lot of scenes just wouldn't work in first person.


"One thing I especially like was Fluttershy's whole views on the morality of meat-eating. As a vegetarian myself, I agree with a lot of it, and I find the subtle differences that simply trace back to Equestria's differences to Earth very fascinating. That whole debate I really liked. Two line in particular stuck out at me:

"So dumb animals matter more than ponies who can think and speak?"
...
"Everything alive is precious. Including you FlutterCruel. Nothing should have to suffer."

This is basically my main argument, as well as the opposition it is met with (just flipped). I didn't think I could love Fluttershy more than I already did, but to hear her voice some of my strongest morals really struck a cord with me."

Fluttershy actually started out as the straw pony of that argument. I was told repeatedly she felt too out of character so it had to be reworked.




"…and I just read the end again, and am completely terrified once again. I don't really feel like I can be angry at FlutterCruel, but I certainly am horribly afraid for Fluttershy. I really can't wait to read the next chapter. This is really intense."

I hope to see that then.
Reply
:icontechzeropyro:
TechZeroPyro Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2011
Actually...what IS the story on ponies eating meat?

I mean, in RL they are as much Herbivores as any other grass-chomping herd animal. And let's not forget what Pinkie Pie said in her song about their diets being "Completely Vegetarian."

Of course, hot dogs and ham sandwiches also exist in the show. And eggs. The hot dogs and sammiches can be replaced with fakes (although its a mystery how ponies got a taste for food that tastes like a meat product in the first place). The eggs cannot.

Still, eating unfertalized eggs is pretty much the moral equivalent (that is- it's about as murderous as say:) eating semen-filled chocolates. Or using a contraceptive. You destroy mindless cell tissue (which also happens when you eat a plant, FYI) that happens to have the building blocks for a more complicated creature.

So, Rarity's "breakfast" doesn't necessarily destroy Fluttershy's argument.
Reply
:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2011
I actually edited that part heavily after I have informed that horses can eat meat when push comes to shoves. So at this point I'm just letting it stay as is.

And for the sake good taste I am not going to say a single thing about the rest of your comment and try to forget I ever read it because of the images it put into my head AT CHRISTMAS.
Reply
:icontechzeropyro:
TechZeroPyro Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2011
depending on your exact time zone...I think Christmas was already over.

But sure.
Reply
:iconlilfut:
Lilfut Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2011
And so it begins.
Reply
:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2011
Which 'it' would that be?
Reply
:iconlilfut:
Lilfut Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2011
Fluttercruel. Though now that I've read the next chapter... Holy shit.
Reply
:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2011
'Bam' eh?
Reply
:iconcharanty:
Charanty Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2011
I didn't get what happen...Do they have separated bodies now?
Reply
:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2011
Er. No. Fluttercruel become the one in control and Fluttershy the one who was backseat driving. What could I have done to make that more obvious? What made you think they had separate bodies now?
Reply
:iconcharanty:
Charanty Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2011
I guess moment when Fluttercruel got control in her hooves.
It was some what confusing, considering that English isn't my first language.
Reply
:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2011
Hopefully the next chapter makes it crystal clear.
Reply
:iconcharanty:
Charanty Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2011
Yeah, i've read several chapters - now i get what happen.
Reply
:iconatomic-chinchilla:
Atomic-Chinchilla Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Oh dear. This is so simultaneously scary and hilarious that I don't know what to say. 8D *runs to next chapter*
Reply
:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2011
Yes yes, run deeper into the dark, don't worry, there's light at the end of the tunnel, and a few bright spots along the way.
Reply
:iconroxor128:
Roxor128 Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I know the notes say this was supposed to be part of the previous chapter, but was separated due to file size limitations. I don't think that explanation fits with what I just read. I think a more fitting explanation is that the shift in perspective and change in space and time justifies starting a new chapter.
Reply
:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2011
Well I wanted to end the chapter with a BLAM! And at least one part written in POV. But when the size ran long I just went with the most logical break I could find . .. .

Thank you for the comment however. And I can see your logic.
Reply
:iconshritistrang:
Shritistrang Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2011
This one was a bit shorter than the others, but still enjoyable. And of course Fluttercruel would like Angel more than the other animals. But would she really apologize to him?

One nitpick: 'and the hayseed LASSOED TIED ME UP LIKE A PIG!'

Shouldn't there be an 'and' between the 'lassoed' and the 'tied'?

Hogtie would be another word to explain that situation, right? (remember, this isn't my mother language)

I can't remember if there is any other chapter I haven't commented on yet, but if there is, please inform me.
Reply
:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2011
Edits made. And you skipped a chapter. And this was supposed to be part of the previous chapter if you read the description notes.
Reply
:iconfrostybrand:
Frostybrand Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2011
Catface. that is all.
Reply
:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2011
What does the catface mean?
Reply
:iconfrostybrand:
Frostybrand Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2011
:3
Waiting in anticipation of what evil silly stuff FC will do, 'specially since she has access to all of FS's memories. I just wonder how well she can fake being FS to avoid... ooooooo hehehehhe...
Reply
:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2011
Just read the next part and you'll see.
Reply
:iconshadic-x-hedgehog:
Shadic-X-Hedgehog Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2011
Wow, Fluttercruel is seriously reminding my of Hollow Ichigo every time you bring her out (don't get me wrong, I find it amusing).

Am now picturing them working together to wield this mysterious new sword-thingy that's appeared in their grasp...

Except now that I think of it, Fluttershy herself is more like Orihime than Ichigo. I'm going to stop here so that I don't start trying to write a crossover.
Reply
:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2011
Others consider her 'Hollow Ichigo If He Wasn't As Badass As He Thinks He Is.'

And as amusing as a full blown Bleach tribute would be with her gaining a sword, it doesn't quite fit either of their characters. Fluttershy isn't that violent and Fluttercruel doesn't have that much fineness needed for a blade weapon. And Flutterrage doesn't have the brains for strategy.

"Except now that I think of it, Fluttershy herself is more like Orihime than Ichigo. I'm going to stop here so that I don't start trying to write a crossover."

OH YES! Orhime? DECIDEDLY! Though Orihime -herself- is more a mix of Pinkie PIe and Fluttershy.
Reply
:iconkendell2:
Kendell2 Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2011
I like the edit, in fact it was one of the things I suggested in the reply you requested (I posted that BEFORE I read the re-edit). I'd suggest editing Fluttercruel's response a LITTLE to make it flow better, have the reaction show WHY she's mad, like viewing it as a double standard or something of the like. Just for flow. The edit works excellently and makes Fluttershy much more in character.
Reply
:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2011
Added a couple more edits.
Reply
:iconkendell2:
Kendell2 Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2011
Very good. I think this version is much better. It seems much more understandable as to why Fluttercruel finally snaps.
Reply
:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2011
Thanks! :-)
Reply
:iconsantafer:
Santafer Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2011  Hobbyist
I guess she is going to pretend to be Fluttershy to mess with people.
Reply
:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2011
CLASSIFIED.
Reply
:iconsantafer:
Santafer Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2011  Hobbyist
AHGGGGGGGGhojlsdf

hmmm


ok...
Reply
:icondeath-by-grunge:
Death-By-Grunge Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2011
No words can describe this penultimate chapter.But know this,Alex:today you have left two more lasting impressions on this poor soul.
Reply
:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2011
Heh. Gotcha. :)
Reply
:icondeath-by-grunge:
Death-By-Grunge Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2011
Also,the way you handled Trixie's introduction?Impressively realistic.
Reply
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October 18, 2011
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