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I blinked. Where was I now? Everything was a big white void. I didn't see anypony else.

I looked down at myself. The claw marks had healed over, though they did leave some recognizable scars. Guess I was going to have to rely on Fluttershy to do the modeling after all. Too bad, all that attention, all those ponies looking at me, it appealed to me, even if it scared 'Shy silly.

Then I noticed, almost passively, that I wasn't quite all there anymore. I was still standing just fine, but one of my wings and part of my hind left leg were turning into little pieces of light before my eyes and floating away, becoming impossible to tell from the white void. It didn't hurt, I don't think I even felt it. I couldn't see my insides where the little bits floated away. Maybe I never had insides, wouldn't surprise me. It was spreading.

Why wasn't I scared? I was dying, wasn't I? Oh right, you had to be alive to die, so it wasn't like I was losing anything by dying in the first place. Or was that last place? Oh well. What could have caused this though?

"Oh right. Stupid me. Guess 'Little-FlutterRage' was right. I'm the daughter of the old man's magic ... and he's about as far from harmony as you can get. So makes sense using an Element of Harmony and getting a full, a point blank blast from the peace and love laser canon would erase me too. Meh. Least I didn't go out with a whimper this time, and the bearers all saw it." I threw back my head and laughed as part of my shoulder dissolved.

"Pst. Good riddance to a farce of a fake existence. Good riddance to nopony who was never anypony, good riddance to something that was never anything."

I laid back on whatever I was standing on, though the view didn't change one bit.

"'Time to be cruel.' Those were the first words I heard when I was born, who'd have thought I'd go out doing the exact opposite? Bet the old man would love that surprise. Oh well, now it's time to not be anything."

"Sorry dear, you're too young to die. You just earned your cutie mark." A hoof gently touched my shoulder.

The white sparkles stopped, then 'scattered' and I was surprisingly whole again. I looked up into Fluttershy's kind and understanding eyes. Fluttershy; the butter yellow, pink maned Pegasus with bright blue eyes, not Princess Gaia the Alicorn, nor the Nightmare. "You haven't even had your Cute-ceañera yet. Do you think you'll pick out a Cute-ceañera Name? Lots of ponies do that during their Cute-ceañera. Should be easier for you, since you don't have any paper work to fill out. Maybe something like Helping Hoof? Like your cutie mark? …I mean if you really like that name, it's what you'd be called for the rest of your life, so it should be something you like…"

Still laying on my back, I glared at her. "I told you, 'Fluttercruel' might be just a name, but it's all I have and I'm keeping it! And dammit, since when do YOU enjoy torturing others! That was supposed to be my job! I don't have a purpose! I'm just a loose thread for a scheme that fell apart! I don't have a past or future! I'll always just be nothing but a bucking carnival mirror reflection of you! I'll always be exactly the same until you grow old and we die together!" I rolled over on my belly. "Just go away and let me die already." I said sulking, crossing my forelegs. "I'm the one who did this to you. I've earned oblivion. So just let me take my end with some dignity this time."

"No. You're my responsibility. You wanted to teach me. It's my fault for not being able to take the lesson like a mare and acting like a filly. And none of my friends are permanently hurt and I'm fine now. I forgive you."

"You can't forgive something that doesn't exist."

"Ponies who don't exist can't earn their cutie mark. And that doesn't look like a blank flank to me."

I glanced at my flanks, seeing the two hooves. "You'd think I'd get a big mallet or three spiders or something. It's funny, I don't really feel all that different. Where's the big change inside? Where's the ... ya know, 'inner awakening' or whatever?"

"Erm, sorry if I sound too much like Twilight but, uh, ahem: 'There is no grand realization of self. The self simply is.'" Then Fluttershy's voice took on a stern tone, "Now stop all this nonsense about not having purpose and not existing. 'Nothing' couldn't have used the Element of Kindness to wash away the darkness. A pony without a spirit wouldn't fight so hard to save somepony else. A pony without a purpose doesn't earn her cutie mark. A poor reflection of a pony can't earn a unique cutie mark," Then came the softness that was Fluttershy's signature. "And, I have to say, for someone whose not even six months old, earning your cutie mark is something you -really- ought to be proud of." Fluttershy hugged me. "I know I'm proud of you…"

She said she was proud of me. She hugged me. This was ... this was the first time anyone in my life, yes, LIFE, had ever hugged me. Why did it feel so nice? Why didn't I want it to stop? Why did I want Fluttershy to just stay here beside me? What was this feeling? It was all like invisible weights I didn't know were there were just falling away, something that had been holding me in, something that had been caging me.

"I ... I'm free."

"WE'RE FREE!" Corrected Fluttershy with more conviction then she could remember having in her life.

"So ... what now 'Shy?"

"I think there's one last part of me that needs help finding her way back, but that's something only our friends can do. Come on 'Cruel, let's go home."

"I told you not to call-... alright, let's go."
Healing Ponies POV Series!
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Next Chapter: [link]
Previous Chapter: [link]

First Chapter: [link]


Fanart of Diamond Tiara and Screwball. Yes, even bullies and loonies have loved ones. So close and yet totally apart. [link]

FANART OF NIGHTMARE WHISPER! CHECK IT OUT! [link]

BEHOLD: A dramatic reading of how this entire series started! [link]



Fanart of Mimic's iconic moment before her death. By the one and only Firedrake.
[link]


YET ANOTHER tribute fanfiction has been written! CHECK IT OUT! This one takes a rather unique POV on the subject of Discording.
[link]

And a reharmonization you wouldn't expect! [link]


Discord's beaten, but invisible scars take the longest to heal for the mane six and all of Ponyville. Anyone can die, living is the actually challenge.


My beta-read personally request this scene be posted as a stand alone chapter. In return for his tireless, efficient, effective, creative, diligent, generous, and passionate service, I've chosen it's only honorable to grant his request against my better judgement.


The series' very one TV Tropes page! Check it out! [link]

The series that started it all, Discord Pony POV series!
[link]

MUSIC FOR THIS CHAPTER:
After battle. ".hack//GU Hope of Dawn" [link]

KENDELL2'S OWN SUGGESTION FOR THE MUSIC FOR THIS SCENE. [link]


This part was edited like crazy by Kendell2 [link]

Some final edits by Kendell2 and me.

MLP: FiM: Copyright Hasbro

201200709 Edits by DracoDei

Music suggested by DracoDei for this chapter "I Dare You To Move" by Switchfoot.
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:iconitsfrompeople:
In this chapter Fluttercruel awakens in a white empty space. While her wounds did heal, they did leave visible scars behind. This sums up what all characters experienced. Their past isn’t dead and the effects will be long-lasting. Her first thought is regret about not being able to model. She really liked the idea of getting attention like that, like she did show with her dance number in the club. Then she notices that she is vanishing. While the process is completely painless, it is heartbreaking to see her disappear after everything she accomplished. Again doubts of her own existence cross her mind. Unlike Discord she isn’t afraid of the end but she misinterprets her lack of fear as a sign of not being alive. Then she realizes that the undead foal must be right and being born by Discord’s magic did make Harmony her natural weakness. But unlike last time she vanished, she has no regrets. The last time she left a corrupted Fluttershy behind, this time Fluttercruel was ready to sacrifice herself to heal her other half. She knew this could happen and she did it anyway. And despite all of that she still believes that she never was a person. She talks about the irony of being created as a cruel version of Fluttershy, only be become an Element of Kindness and heal Fluttershy. Discord would hate this kind of irony.

But her kind half will not let her perish. In a heart-warming scene she tells Fluttercruel that she is too young to die, after all she just got her cutie mark. One gentle touch is enough to stop the process and heal the wounded soul. It is Fluttershy who does this, not Princess Gaia or Nightmare Whisper, just Fluttershy. And she just keeps going. She calmly talks about Fluttercruel’s upcoming Cute-ceañera and that the cruel half could change her name if he wanted to. Fluttershy suggests Helping Hoof. A name that doesn’t fit her cruel half at all but the suggestion itself is typical for the kind half and the last proof that Fluttershy is back. But Fluttercruel doesn’t want to give up her first proof of her own existence. Her name was the starting point of a journey that let her become an Element of Kindness. She did grow so much, but their journey isn’t over. Then she sarcastically remarks that suggesting “Helping Hoof” is Fluttershy’s way of torturing her. But the cruel half still claims that she is no person and just a parody of the fluttering pegasus. She thinks oblivion is her deserved punishment for her unintentional corruption of Fluttershy. But the kind half sees her own faults in the Princess Gaia incident. She acted like a child running away from reality when Fluttercruel confronted her with the unkind parts of nature, she did ignore and suppress for so long. And in the end none of her friends were permanently hurt in the battle against Nightmare Whisper. And Fluttercruel is responsible for that as well. She was able to escape from nonexistence, cut her connection to the Nightmare, counter her irresistible stare, inspire Twilight to awaken her Element and help the heroes when they needed the Element of Kindness the most. She has earned her forgiveness.

Fluttercruel would have never suspected that her cutie mark could be something like this, she was hoping for something symbolizing strength or her sense of humour. But she is surprised how little did change for her, she feels just like before. Maybe that means that her cutie mark only reflects her true being. She did help to knock out Pinkie Pie to stop her from working herself to death and calm down Rainbow Dash when she was starting to turn into a Nightmare. Despite not wanting to admit it, she wanted to help those in need of help. Then Fluttershy tries to emulate Twilight with a short lecture about the nature of self. But she tells her cruel half very seriously to stop those claims of nonexistence. She did use the Element of Kindness, proving that she does exist. She fought beyond what anyone thought was possible to protect someone else, proving the strength of her will and soul. She didn’t only earn a cutie mark but a unique one, proving once and for all that she is her own person. And Fluttercruel did all of this despite being only 6 months old. Fluttershy is so proud of her and here in this strange white space, she can do what she could never do before and hugs her other half. Fluttercruel is moved by her gesture of kindness. She never felt so good in her entire life. Finally she feels alive. Both are free but Fluttershy isn’t saved completely. To free her from her chains there is something her friends still have to do. Now both walk forward.

Overall this is a short, yet wonderful chapter about Fluttercruel almost vanishing. A pony born of Chaos was taught kindness and used what she had learned to save her corrupted kind half. But kindness is always returned with interest and in turn Fluttershy was there for her cruel half when she needed her the most. The name of the chapter goes back to the very first chapter of the Reharmonized Ponies story, where Fluttershy brought up the comparison to the process of the creation of a pearl: A tiny bit of sand becomes a beautiful pearl inside an oyster. Not only does it fit Fluttercruel perfectly but it also describes the journeys the other characters experienced. They are more than what they started as.

Keep up the great work!
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:iconguilrel:
Guilrel Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2012
Wow, that's something. I guess it's not that different from all fo the anime that I've seen. Better go to the next part to see if they're really outside or inside.
Reply
:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2012
"Wow, that's something."

Which part?

" I guess it's not that different from all fo the anime that I've seen."

Hmmmmm?

"Better go to the next part to see if they're really outside or inside."

Hmmmmm?
Reply
:iconguilrel:
Guilrel Featured By Owner May 17, 2012
Which part?

This is basically the shortest chapter part I have ever read in this series. To be honest I thought the rest of the parts would be riculously short as well. ^^;

Hmmmmm?x2

Basically, I saw that as the "white void inside the body/soul" cliche that I've seen in anime where the character talks to herself about what she learned. But real strange thing is that I actually saw Fluttershy and Fluttercruel talking to each other in there as a cliche, and that's what worries me. :confused:
Reply
:icondracodei:
DracoDei Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
SPOILER ALERT!!!






Everything was a big white void. I didn't see anypony else.
-Having been dragged to something like Hell, she now gets to see Heaven?

Too bad, all that attention, all those ponies looking at me, it appealed to me, even if it scared 'Shy silly.
-On the other hand I could see her making it work as... well imagine Meatloaf as a female pony. Nice guy in his personal life(or, at the least, has stuck to one marriage), but you wouldn't know it to listen to his songs.

leg was turning into little pieces of light before my eyes and floating away,
-"were" not "was" I think. Also, I that MAY be the parts of her that are being made physical first (starting from one cutie-mark, and her Element... except I don't think her element was on a wing).

"Oh right. Stupid me. Guess 'Little-FlutterRage' was right.
-Oh, DUH! Of course the foal was flutterrage...

Good riddance to nopony who was never anypony, good riddance to something that was never anything."
-Lyrics to the music I recommend for when she realizes what is going on (if I am right): [link] I Dare You to Move by Switchfoot.

I laid back on whatever I was standing on, though the view didn't change one bit.
-FEATURELESS white void... good subtle reminder...

Bet the old man would love that surprise.
-Oh yes... he would "love" it... just like he "loved" it when Fluttershy forced him to pry her metaphysical legs open rather than taking her PCP/LSD cocktail like a weak little filly... or how he "Loved" it when it turned out that the Mane Six had gotten the antidote. Fluttercruel is... well, I think the term would be "the incarnation of the snark knight".

"Sorry dear, you're too young to die. You just earned your cutie mark." A hoof gently touched my shoulder.
-Celestia, Luna, or Rainicorn? Also, foals die young all the time... all parties involved know this.


The white sparkles stopped, then 'scattered' and I was surprisingly whole again.
-So the sparkles WERE her spirit disolving?

I looked up into Fluttershy's kind and understanding eyes.
-Was it Fluttershy who Fluttercruel heard before? Also, I wonder if she will be changing her name? Probably not. The irony would suit her.

Do you think you'll pick out a Cute-ceañera Name?
-Ah, that would explain how the names match the personality/cutie-mark so well... not an uncommon theory.

Should be easier for you, since you don't have any paper work to fill out.
-Oh, I don't know... If I were Celestia or Fluttershy I would consider it a good ego-building exercise to make her fill out her own birth-certificate with the date of Gaia's defeat being her... no, the day of Discord would be her conception and... we will put when she first "woke up" after Discord's defeat as her birthday. It makes more sense since that is when she started to be able to think for herself.

I glared at her.
-Yep... still the same Fluttercruel.

but it's all I have and I'm keeping it!
-To be expected, and it should work as an interesting surprise to let her get close to various emos.

I'll always be exactly the same until you grow old and we die together!"
-And here is where Fluttershy (or someone... actually probably NOT Fluttershy), brings up the fact that she has her own body now?

"Ponies who don't exist can't earn their cutie mark. And that doesn't look like a blank flank to me."
-I would have mentioned the body before the cutie-mark, but since Gaia was creating (rather than merely transforming?) thousands of birds, that arguement actually holds less water in the long-run.

You think I'd get a big mallet or three spiders or something.
-"You would" or "You'd"... And that wasn't your talent it was your upbringing by your father.THAT mare did indeed deserve death, and is, indeed well on her way to it... the sin nature (or "old man" but that gets confusing in that context) as we Christians would call it. Or rather a large part of it, since I think Fluttercruel is enough her own person to branch out into other temptations and sins. Certainly the pole-dancing doesn't seem like the sort of thing Discord would have gone for.

Where's the ... ya know, 'inner awakening' or whatever?"
-If I understand cutie-marks, she has her cause and effects reversed... the only emotional/spiritual effect of the cutie-mark is the joy of having your realization verified.

'There is no grand realization of self. The self simply is.'
-What? That doesn't fit to me at all... of course, even after getting one's mark one doesn't know EVERYTHING about yourself... it is only one step of many before it, and many MANY after it.

And, I have to say, for someone whose not even six months old, earning your cutie mark is something you -really- ought to be proud of.
-Even with a big-head-start (full vocabulary, and all that implies about understanding of the world, etc), this is very true.

this was the first time anyone in my life, yes, LIFE, had ever hugged me.
-Only because it is the first time you had a seperate body to hug... didn't Fluttershy hug herself to hug her once? I don't know... Also, I assume that the capitalized word "Life" means she accepts the premise?

Why didn't I want it to stop?
-Because even when you wanted oblivion MORE you wanted affection? Guess she really DIDN'T realize this but it seems SLIGHTLY odd... ah well, I guess she has had a hectic week.

"WE'RE FREE!" Corrected Fluttershy with more conviction then she could remember having in her life.
-Fluttershy is free of the Nightmare, and... well I guess that was what was holding Fluttercruel, but in a different way... Actually she probably means some of their internal hang-ups. Fluttershy feeling like she has to save everyone, and Fluttercruel feeling like she isn't worth saving.

I think there's one last part of me that needs help finding her way back, but that's something only our friends can do.
-Flutterrage, why would they need to do anything with her? Did FlutterRage get her own body too? That would seem a bit much. And how would her friends help? Or is she saying that her friends will help Fluttercruel to continue on the journey she has started? That doesn't sound like "one more".

"I told you not to call-... alright, let's go."
-Was that a nickname that Fluttershy used of Fluttercruel?
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:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2012
Everything was a big white void. I didn't see anypony else.
-Having been dragged to something like Hell, she now gets to see Heaven?

Limbo.


"Sorry dear, you're too young to die. You just earned your cutie mark." A hoof gently touched my shoulder.
-Celestia, Luna, or Rainicorn? Also, foals die young all the time... all parties involved know this.

This is Equestria.

The white sparkles stopped, then 'scattered' and I was surprisingly whole again.
-So the sparkles WERE her spirit disolving?

Yes. Possibly.

I looked up into Fluttershy's kind and understanding eyes.
-Was it Fluttershy who Fluttercruel heard before? Also, I wonder if she will be changing her name? Probably not. The irony would suit her.

She's been steadfast about keeping her name.


Should be easier for you, since you don't have any paper work to fill out.
-Oh, I don't know... If I were Celestia or Fluttershy I would consider it a good ego-building exercise to make her fill out her own birth-certificate with the date of Gaia's defeat being her... no, the day of Discord would be her conception and... we will put when she first "woke up" after Discord's defeat as her birthday. It makes more sense since that is when she started to be able to think for herself.

They decided on either 'Shy's birthday or the day of chaos as her birthday. (The former for if/when she plays off as 'Shy's twin. The latter for if she wants it publicly know she is a spawn of evil and good that shouldn't exist.)


I glared at her.
-Yep... still the same Fluttercruel.

I just hope I can KEEP her personality.


You think I'd get a big mallet or three spiders or something.
-"You would" or "You'd"... And that wasn't your talent it was your upbringing by your father.THAT mare did indeed deserve death, and is, indeed well on her way to it... the sin nature (or "old man" but that gets confusing in that context) as we Christians would call it. Or rather a large part of it, since I think Fluttercruel is enough her own person to branch out into other temptations and sins. Certainly the pole-dancing doesn't seem like the sort of thing Discord would have gone for.

Reminds me of a line Celestia once told Luna,

"It was Nightmare Moon who deserved punishment, and has, she no longer is."


'There is no grand realization of self. The self simply is.'
-What? That doesn't fit to me at all... of course, even after getting one's mark one doesn't know EVERYTHING about yourself... it is only one step of many before it, and many MANY after it.

That's from my own experience. How I suddenly didn't become a new person when I went from a child to a man.

this was the first time anyone in my life, yes, LIFE, had ever hugged me.
-Only because it is the first time you had a seperate body to hug... didn't Fluttershy hug herself to hug her once?

Didn't occur to her I think.

I don't know... Also, I assume that the capitalized word "Life" means she accepts the premise?

YES!

Why didn't I want it to stop?
-Because even when you wanted oblivion MORE you wanted affection?

Not that she realized this.

Guess she really DIDN'T realize this but it seems SLIGHTLY odd... ah well, I guess she has had a hectic week.

In the end she's still a foal.

I think there's one last part of me that needs help finding her way back, but that's something only our friends can do.
-Flutterrage, why would they need to do anything with her?

Anger is a natural emotion for a healthy psyche?

Did FlutterRage get her own body too?

No.

"I told you not to call-... alright, let's go."
-Was that a nickname that Fluttershy used of Fluttercruel?

She didn't like her name being shortened before.
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:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2012
Okay. I need to say this now. Rainicorn was a sarcastic word Anarchy was using to describe Alicorns.
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:icondracodei:
DracoDei Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Ah, Ok!
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:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2012
Any way that can be fixed?
Reply
:icondracodei:
DracoDei Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Nothing comes immediately to mind, other than to have the Alicorn eye-roll(or something) at it, and explicitly state the reason for this action.

"The alicorn eye-rolled at Anarchy's sophmoric insult with the made-up word 'rainicorn' which he had substittuted for 'alicorn'."

Ok, that is terrible, but it gives the idea.
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:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2012
I'll keep it in mind.
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:iconpictorico:
Pictorico Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2012
Um... ok, I just read this with the .hack//GU music you linked and, um... ... ... (sniff) Yeah, tears.

...beautiful, man. ... (sniff) Beautiful.
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:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2012
Hopefully the story was beautiful too and not just the music.

*hugs* Thanks. Nice to see you still reading the story.
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:iconzero93:
zero93 Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2011
I somehow imagined Fluttercruel disappearing like (also in a similar context) like Xion from Kingdom Hearts the way you wrote it.Xion('Cruel) is made from Roxas/Sora('Shy)[or memories anyway] by Bad guy Xemnas(Discord) after the truth was known to Xion,she kept feeling like nothing,just an image made based on someone's memories(like 'Cruel),then she died trying to stop Roxas/herself from becoming a tool of a greater power,and Xion died by breaking into "little pieces of light"

Thank god Fluttershy was able to get 'Cruel back.

I can almost imagine Fluttercruel smiling.
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:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2011
Ironically I was thinking of Riku Replica when I wrote that scene. Cruel smiling? Heh. Why not. It's hardly impossible, she's smiled before, just not in a NICE way.

A part of me was worried Fluttershy saving Cruel would feel like a rip off, but from your relief, it sounds like just the opposite.

I'll admit I love the kingdom hearts series, so I guess it's no surprise that a lot of parallels would appear.
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:iconzero93:
zero93 Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2011
oh shoot Riku Replica,I almost forgot.But his fight before his end was...to reassure his place...not because he cared about Riku.

haha funny thing is,in the series I liked Fluttershy and her cruel self in their own different way.
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:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2011
"oh shoot Riku Replica,I almost forgot.But his fight before his end was...to reassure his place...not because he cared about Riku."

True, but Riku Replica at least had his own form to call his own. Cruel didn't even have that.

"haha funny thing is,in the series I liked Fluttershy and her cruel self in their own different way."

Hmm?
Reply
:iconmonocledgentlewoman:
MonocledGentlewoman Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2011
I always wondered why a pony's name could match their Cutie Mark so well. That's a nice bit of fanon. o/
Reply
:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2011
I believe you said so before, but thanks. I really do think that's the best way to take care of that plot hole.
Reply
:iconeric-emanwu:
eric-emanwu Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2011
Awwww,

isn't that nice. Fluttercruel came back! it appears that even from the worst of evils, Good existence has come to a creation of Discord. from pain came life. From self-loathing came love. From what was expected to end, a new beginning came forth. And thus, the two finally could say to each other, "we're free".

Very sweet.
write on.
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:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2011
Hope you find the rest warm and sweet too.

And that so poetic it deserves it's own Deviantart post!

:D

It proves how invested my readers have become emotionally when they gives such self expression to how things turn out. :-)
Reply
:iconhmorris73:
HMorris73 Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2011
I have to admit, spoiler addict that I am I found out that Fluttershy and Fluttercruel both made it through all right on TVTropes before actually reading the new chapters. Oh well.

I agree that this works best as it's own chapter, it's short but very sweet. :love:
Reply
:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2011
It's ironic. I think epic stories work out better if you start out simplistically, and then become more complex and deep as you move on. Draws in the reader more. Look at the increasing size of the Discord Pony POV pieces for an example of this.
Reply
:iconpumpkin-tlof19:
pumpkin-tlof19 Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2011
...sorry about all that. Stupid thing didn't show the comments. Pumpkin is a dope.
Reply
:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2011
I've had that happen to me too. Don't worry about it.
Reply
:iconpumpkin-tlof19:
pumpkin-tlof19 Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2011
Okay, Point the first: Losing your comment mid-type, for any reason, is ANNOYING. This has nothing to do with anything, I'm just saying.
Point the second, original point the first: You missed an apostrophe on "Little Flutterrage." (I called that, by the way.) Also, the "peace and love laser canon" should be an "Orbital Friendship Cannon." Just because. (Your story, your decisions, as always.)
Point the third, aka the review: This story is heartwrenchingly heartwarming and beautiful. Going into detail:
Fluttercruel has always been, ever since Discorded Fluttershy, a spirit of freedom. Every time I've noticed her presence, she was trying for a sort of freedom. Even in Black Pearl, she sought freedom of a sort. (Note: that freedom was called death. I do not approve of suicide, for obvious reasons. I have to say, even I was disturbed by that bit. Surprisingly enough less so by Fluttershy turning into a creepy black pony thing.)
When Everfree was converted, my first thought was "how appropriate, now that freedom is gone." Okay, it was actually "what the heck's going on here?" like everyone else, but still.
Her triumphant return in "The Foal of Omelas" was...awe-inspiring, to say the least. It also showed that, in fighting for her freedom and her friends, she will not allow anything to stop her. And now...
And now we see her fading away, into the ether, and I get some dust in my eye for a bit, in part because she seems so...at peace with it all.
And now Fluttershy shows us why she is the original Element of Kindness, and helps 'Cruel to her hooves.
And now the weights that no one knew were there finally are lifted off of 'Cruel's back, and she is free.
To conclude: Once again, you've proven your worth as an author. Score 10000: Flawless Victory. (And it might be rude, but at this point I'm hoping the next chapters are worse so I stop looking like a total push-over. Also, I need to score the earlier reviews at some point.)
Reply
:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2011
Posted twice eh? Has happened to me too.
Reply
:iconpumpkin-tlof19:
pumpkin-tlof19 Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2011
Okay, Point the first: Losing your comment mid-type, for any reason, is ANNOYING. This has nothing to do with anything, I'm just saying.
Point the second, original point the first: You missed an apostrophe on "Little Flutterrage." (I called that, by the way.) Also, the "peace and love laser canon" should be an "Orbital Friendship Cannon." Just because. (Your story, your decisions, as always.)
Point the third, aka the review: This story is heartwrenchingly heartwarming and beautiful. Going into detail:
Fluttercruel has always been, ever since Discorded Fluttershy, a spirit of freedom. Every time I've noticed her presence, she was trying for a sort of freedom. Even in Black Pearl, she sought freedom of a sort. (Note: that freedom was called death. I do not approve of suicide, for obvious reasons. I have to say, even I was disturbed by that bit. Surprisingly enough less so by Fluttershy turning into a creepy black pony thing.)
When Everfree was converted, my first thought was "how appropriate, now that freedom is gone." Okay, it was actually "what the heck's going on here?" like everyone else, but still.
Her triumphant return in "The Foal of Omelas" was...awe-inspiring, to say the least. It also showed that, in fighting for her freedom and her friends, she will not allow anything to stop her. And now...
And now we see her fading away, into the ether, and I get some dust in my eye for a bit, in part because she seems so...at peace with it all.
And now Fluttershy shows us why she is the original Element of Kindness, and helps 'Cruel to her hooves.
And now the weights that no one knew were there finally are lifted off of 'Cruel's back, and she is free.
To conclude: Once again, you've proven your worth as an author. Score 10000: Flawless Victory. (And it might be rude, but at this point I'm hoping the next chapters are worse so I stop looking like a total push-over. Also, I need to score the earlier reviews at some point.)
Reply
:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2011
"Point the first, the nineteenth lord of fear is a grammar nazi."

I welcome his cleansing flame to my soul. As long you talk about the story too!


Then again, people might be pissed off at a memetic reference...do whatever, it's your thing.

It wasn't orbital, so naw.

"Point the second, the review: this was heartwarming, heartwrenching, and beautiful."

:-)

"Fluttercruel's acceptance in the face of death, Fluttershy pulling her back from the void, and as a piece de resistance: the arc words."

Of freedom?

"Fluttercruel, to me, represented rebellion and freedom from the moment I finished Discorded Fluttershy."

Except at the time she was nothing more than a puppet of Discord.

"Ever since then, her every action has been painted with a similar brush: trying to assert dominance in Pearls, helping Dash with the Cloudsdale incident her way, even the moment when she finally took over, all represented shining moments of freedom...moments which were then lost as she was drawn into the darkness of the void, only able to watch as Fluttershy began to change."

I take it you found some vested interest in her? That means I did my job as a story teller. :-)


"After that, we didn't see her at all...but we saw the impact of her absence. Without a free spirit to balance her, Fluttershy had changed Everfree into Everkind, symbolic in far more ways than one."


Well Fluttershy WAS in the depth of her own inner darkness at the time.

"'Cruel was silent for an impressive FOUR chapters (five, if you count the Battle Micros) and the tension was rising."

IRonic for a tale that was supposed to be half a chapter originally. :-)

"And then, last chapter, submerged in the void, her soul was sparked by a few simple words, and like a badass out of hell, she was free once again. (In case you can't tell, I like tropes. But I digress.)"

Please that came across as COOL! :-)

"Having her realize, and help to show Fluttershy, what Kindness truly is and who they really are...on top of being completely epic, it showed that she cared about what happened to somepony else...which wouldn't have been true at the beginning of Reharmonized; it showed that she'd come a long way."

She's become more than what Discord created her to be.

"And now...now she seems broken, and lost, and then Fluttershy helps to lift off of her the weights she didn't realize she was carrying the whole time... I think I'm tearing up over hear."

:-)

"This is an incredible chapter on its own, and I think just reading it makes me feel lighter inside."

:-) :-) :-) Music to my ears.

" Final Score for part 1, 10000: Flawless Victory. ...It's probably rude to say, but I hope the other chapters aren't as good, or I'm going to look like the world's pansiest reviewer. (Which reminds me, I should go back and add scores to the other chapters I've reviewed…)"

I look forward to it.
Reply
:iconpumpkin-tlof19:
pumpkin-tlof19 Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2011
Re: Freedom
As I stated in the rewrite I posted when I thought this one just didn't go up, it's less that she is actually free and more that she perceives herself as free. Freedom in all things is what she strives for, and I like to think that part of the reason we don't want to hear about Epilogue Cruel is because she's actively working against Discord and twisting the knife into friend and foe alike, all in the name of freedom...to the point where she becomes an iconic figure of freedom. ANND rambling's done.
Re: Irony
...I am afraid to comment on that, for fear that I will accidentally misinterpret irony.
Reply
:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2011
"As I stated in the rewrite I posted when I thought this one just didn't go up, it's less that she is actually free and more that she perceives herself as free. Freedom in all things is what she strives for, and I like to think that part of the reason we don't want to hear about Epilogue Cruel is because she's actively working against Discord and twisting the knife into friend and foe alike, all in the name of freedom...to the point where she becomes an iconic figure of freedom. ANND rambling's done."

I'll only say that finding freedom from your inner demons is a theme here. And ironic for Fluttercruel because she started out AS an inner demon!

"Re: Irony
...I am afraid to comment on that, for fear that I will accidentally misinterpret irony."

Ugh. Let's just CALL IT ironny then!
Reply
:iconpumpkin-tlof19:
pumpkin-tlof19 Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2011
Re: Irony (again)
...grammar...nazi...too...strong...
...must...be...annoying...about...meaning...of word...
...wait...irrony? Oh, that's totally different! Okay!
Reply
:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2011
Okay. I know about Bender's ONE definition of irony, but it's not THE definition of irony.

What is YOUR definition of irony then?
Reply
:iconpumpkin-tlof19:
pumpkin-tlof19 Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2011
Before I begin, something needs to be clarified, and something needs to be acknowledged. Acknowledgement: This arguement is pointless, and I shouldn't have started it, Grammar Nazi or otherwise. Clarification: I don't have a specific definition of irony, but I know enough to recognize when the term is being used improperly, due mainly to having grown up with an english major. So, to conclude, if I complain about misuse of Irony, I'm only doing it because I'm not sure if the term can be used as is. I complained, in this case, because it didn't seem accurate, and was later proven wrong...which I'm pretty sure I acknowledged in the comment, so it was less a complaint and more "Okay, you're right to use it here, and I didn't know that. Sorry for doubting the author." My bad if I offended, it was not my intention.
As for where I get my definition of Irony: [[link]
It's a bit tldr for me, (on account of I am a lazy berk,) but it is an official enough definition that I will work by it. If I'm right, the original comment was on the irony of a very long sequence of chapters originating from a half-length chapter, and as such I sighted cosmic or perhaps historical irony.
Reply
:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2011
Okay. And goodnight. Please continue to enjoy the Pony POV Series.
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconpumpkin-tlof19:
pumpkin-tlof19 Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2011
Point the first, the nineteenth lord of fear is a grammar nazi. You missed an apostrophe referring to "Little Flutterrage." I called that, by the way. Also, instead of "peace and love laser canon" go with "Orbital Friendship Cannon." Then again, people might be pissed off at a memetic reference...do whatever, it's your thing.
Point the second, the review: this was heartwarming, heartwrenching, and beautiful. Fluttercruel's acceptance in the face of death, Fluttershy pulling her back from the void, and as a piece de resistance: the arc words. Fluttercruel, to me, represented rebellion and freedom from the moment I finished Discorded Fluttershy. Ever since then, her every action has been painted with a similar brush: trying to assert dominance in Pearls, helping Dash with the Cloudsdale incident her way, even the moment when she finally took over, all represented shining moments of freedom...moments which were then lost as she was drawn into the darkness of the void, only able to watch as Fluttershy began to change.
After that, we didn't see her at all...but we saw the impact of her absence. Without a free spirit to balance her, Fluttershy had changed Everfree into Everkind, symbolic in far more ways than one. 'Cruel was silent for an impressive FOUR chapters (five, if you count the Battle Micros) and the tension was rising.
And then, last chapter, submerged in the void, her soul was sparked by a few simple words, and like a badass out of hell, she was free once again. (In case you can't tell, I like tropes. But I digress.)
Having her realize, and help to show Fluttershy, what Kindness truly is and who they really are...on top of being completely epic, it showed that she cared about what happened to somepony else...which wouldn't have been true at the beginning of Reharmonized; it showed that she'd come a long way.
And now...now she seems broken, and lost, and then Fluttershy helps to lift off of her the weights she didn't realize she was carrying the whole time... I think I'm tearing up over hear.
This is an incredible chapter on its own, and I think just reading it makes me feel lighter inside. Final Score for part 1, 10000: Flawless Victory. ...It's probably rude to say, but I hope the other chapters aren't as good, or I'm going to look like the world's pansiest reviewer. (Which reminds me, I should go back and add scores to the other chapters I've reviewed...)
Reply
:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2011
"Okay, Point the first: Losing your comment mid-type, for any reason, is ANNOYING. This has nothing to do with anything, I'm just saying."

Trust me. I know how that is.

"Point the second, original point the first: You missed an apostrophe on "Little Flutterrage."

Okay if you wish.

"(I called that, by the way.) Also, the "peace and love laser canon" should be an "Orbital Friendship Cannon." Just because. (Your story, your decisions, as always.)"

Nope. That's staying as is.

"Point the third, aka the review: This story is heartwrenchingly heartwarming and beautiful. Going into detail:"

:-)

"Fluttercruel has always been, ever since Discorded Fluttershy, a spirit of freedom. Every time I've noticed her presence, she was trying for a sort of freedom. Even in Black Pearl, she sought freedom of a sort. (Note: that freedom was called death. I do not approve of suicide, for obvious reasons. I have to say, even I was disturbed by that bit. Surprisingly enough less so by Fluttershy turning into a creepy black pony thing.)"

That's one way to look at it. Has come a long way from being Discord's little pawn hasn't she?

"When Everfree was converted, my first thought was "how appropriate, now that freedom is gone." Okay, it was actually "what the heck's going on here?" like everyone else, but still."

It's amazing how many has come to that conclusion. But then again, I don't whine when someone reads something in the story I didn't consciously intend, a story must have it's OWN life and OWN spirit and it's meaning comes into being when it interacts with the reader.

"Her triumphant return in "The Foal of Omelas" was...awe-inspiring, to say the least. It also showed that, in fighting for her freedom and her friends, she will not allow anything to stop her. And now…"

Yeah. She finally gained the inner strength that Fluttershy originally used to put her in her place in the first place.

"And now we see her fading away, into the ether, and I get some dust in my eye for a bit, in part because she seems so...at peace with it all."

Was inspired by Riku Replica's death in kingdom hearts chain of memories.

"And now Fluttershy shows us why she is the original Element of Kindness, and helps 'Cruel to her hooves."

It's so cool that scene WORKED! Rather than it feeling like she's cheating death. It feels NATURAL that Fluttershy saves her! And I'm relieved that readers feel that way.

"And now the weights that no one knew were there finally are lifted off of 'Cruel's back, and she is free."

And that makes six of them. :-)

"To conclude: Once again, you've proven your worth as an author. Score 10000: Flawless Victory. (And it might be rude, but at this point I'm hoping the next chapters are worse so I stop looking like a total push-over. Also, I need to score the earlier reviews at some point.)"

Don't jinx me dude. :-)

I hope you enjoy the revised pearl chapters that had been edited now too.
Reply
:iconrichforce:
Richforce Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2011
Personally I think that when a colt has a Cute-ceanera it's called a Mark-mitzvah.
Reply
:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2011
A very real possibility. One I'd have to keep in mind for another time. But since this is Fluttercruel being talked about it, it still fits.
Reply
:iconardashir:
ardashir Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2011
I like the idea about the Cute-ceanera being a way to help choose what I imagine is a pony's "adult" name as compared to the one they get as a foal from the parents. This chapter seems to be off to a great start, with the suggestion that Fluttercruel won't be returning to the void.
Reply
:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2011
"I like the idea about the Cute-ceanera being a way to help choose what I imagine is a pony's "adult" name as compared to the one they get as a foal from the parents. "

I think that's been my single greatest bit of fanon I've ever managed to conjure up and I hope that it spreads through out the entire community fanon like a super-virus!

"This chapter seems to be off to a great start, with the suggestion that Fluttercruel won't be returning to the void."

I REALLY wanted to readers to see her as dead, or the very real possibility she was dead. So her managing to defy oblivion thanks to Fluttershy would actually hold impact!
Reply
:iconardashir:
ardashir Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2011
"I like the idea about the Cute-ceanera being a way to help choose what I imagine is a pony's "adult" name as compared to the one they get as a foal from the parents. "

I think that's been my single greatest bit of fanon I've ever managed to conjure up and I hope that it spreads through out the entire community fanon like a super-virus!


I hope so too! It sounds like something that happens in a lot of modern cultures (and was once even more widespread), taking a new name after significant events happened in their lives.

"This chapter seems to be off to a great start, with the suggestion that Fluttercruel won't be returning to the void."

I REALLY wanted to readers to see her as dead, or the very real possibility she was dead. So her managing to defy oblivion thanks to Fluttershy would actually hold impact!


I did think she was gone; and I'm happy I was wrong. Fluttercruel* became one of the more fascinating characters in this series. Fluts did a great job of socializing her, especially when we remember the Bad Future in which she apparently became the most monstrous of Discord's minions.

* -- But does she realy deserve that name any more? She's not very cruel at all, she just gives me the impression of someone with a low tolerance for bullhockey.
Reply
:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2011
"I like the idea about the Cute-ceanera being a way to help choose what I imagine is a pony's "adult" name as compared to the one they get as a foal from the parents. "

I think that's been my single greatest bit of fanon I've ever managed to conjure up and I hope that it spreads through out the entire community fanon like a super-virus!"


I hope so too! It sounds like something that happens in a lot of modern cultures (and was once even more widespread), taking a new name after significant events happened in their lives."

YES YES YES YES YES YES YES! It also provides a perfect fill in for the plot hole mentioned before how ponies in other settings are named for their cutie marks, but here only get them when they realize themselves or develop a complete Ego.

If there is one piece of fanon that should be shared, it's this piece!

Someone suggested a that there was a different name for the colt version of a Cute-ceanera. I forget what it would be now.


"This chapter seems to be off to a great start, with the suggestion that Fluttercruel won't be returning to the void."

You can beat that she's here to stay after what Fluttershy told her. She has no intention of vanishing now.

"I REALLY wanted to readers to see her as dead, or the very real possibility she was dead. So her managing to defy oblivion thanks to Fluttershy would actually hold impact!

I did think she was gone; and I'm happy I was wrong. Fluttercruel* became one of the more fascinating characters in this series. Fluts did a great job of socializing her, especially when we remember the Bad Future in which she apparently became the most monstrous of Discord's minions."

I've made a decent series haven't I?

"* -- But does she realy deserve that name any more? She's not very cruel at all, she just gives me the impression of someone with a low tolerance for bullhockey."

She may not fit anymore, but it's HER name. She considers it the ONE thing that she owns that belongs to her alone. She doesn't WANT to give it up.

The real irony is, on her day of controlling Fluttershy's body, when Fluttercruel thought of Dinky do, she thought that those who weren't willing to stand up to bullies got what they deserved.
Reply
:iconardashir:
ardashir Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2011
The real irony is, on her day of controlling Fluttershy's body, when Fluttercruel thought of Dinky do, she thought that those who weren't willing to stand up to bullies got what they deserved.

Ouch. That's kind of mean-spirited of her (speaking as a target of bullies all through school), but it does remind me of some of my older relatives who'd seen real hard times like the Depression.
Reply
:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2011
Hmmm? That so? Tell me more.
Reply
:iconardashir:
ardashir Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2011
Basically, my uncles saw severe hardship all through their childhoods; going hungry for days at a time, raised in a one parent household, and wondering if maybe some of them would have to run away before they were taken away by the state or local Professional Concerned Do-Gooders for Their Own Good (which did happen once to my two oldest uncles when they were very young, maybe about Pip's age; their mother and an uncle literally had to sneak into their keeper's home and bust them out before going into hiding for a few months afterwards). They saw men get killed right in front of their eyes, right after said men tried to murder them; they saw friends and family members die from lingering illnesses, or sometimes worse, become paralyzed from polio. And sometimes they had to brawl with neighbors just to get enough to live on when employers tried cheating them out of a promised wage.

Then they grew up just in time to get into World War 2, where my uncles served at places like Saipan or Anzio or Okinawa or Omaha Beach, which gave them nightmares for the rest of their lives.

Basically, they had very hard lives, and had little sympathy or real comprehension that I or anyone else could find being cursed at or muscled around at school a life-altering tragedy. Truth be told, when I read that list, I have to agree with them.

My mom and her sister, thankfully, had less dramatic upbringings. Her biggest problem was dealing with her very strict disciplinarian of a father. He was stubborn and proud, and so was she. They did not get along.
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:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2011
All I can say to that is: whao. 0-0
Reply
:iconkarrinblue:
KarrinBlue Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2011
Oh...Cuteceneara name! That makes SO MUCH SENSE!

Also: Daww.....
Reply
:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2011
"Oh...Cuteceneara name! That makes SO MUCH SENSE!"

It seems that I struck gold with that one!

"Also: Daww....."

Heart warming eh? :-)
Reply
:iconchibiregalli:
ChibiRegalli Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2011
Cuteceanara name? Ooh, THAT makes sense!
Reply
:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2011
Choosing a new or alt name is a part of a LOT of rites of passage (I have one), and since ponies in this verse aren't born with their cutie marks, it made perfect sense to me. And I'm happy that a lot of others think so too. What seems to be the general reaction is 'WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT?!'
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