Sta.sh
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. . .
. . . . . .
I blinked. Where was I now? Everything was a big white void. I didn't see anypony else.
I looked down at myself. The claw marks had healed over, though they did leave some recognizable scars. Guess I was going to have to rely on Fluttershy to do the modeling after all. Too bad, all that attention, all those ponies looking at me, it appealed to me, even if it scared 'Shy silly.
Then I noticed, almost passively, that I wasn't quite all there anymore. I was still standing just fine, but one of my wings and part of my hind left leg were turning into little pieces of light before my eyes and floating away, becoming impossible to tell from the white void. It didn't hurt, I don't think I even felt it. I couldn't see my insides where the little bits floated away. Maybe I never had insides, wouldn't surprise me. It was spreading.
Why wasn't I scared? I was dying, wasn't I? Oh right, you had to be alive to die, so it wasn't like I was losing anything by dying in the first place. Or was that last place? Oh well. What could have caused this though?
"Oh right. Stupid me. Guess 'Little-FlutterRage' was right. I'm the daughter of the old man's magic ... and he's about as far from harmony as you can get. So makes sense using an Element of Harmony and getting a full, a point blank blast from the peace and love laser canon would erase me too. Meh. Least I didn't go out with a whimper this time, and the bearers all saw it." I threw back my head and laughed as part of my shoulder dissolved.
"Pst. Good riddance to a farce of a fake existence. Good riddance to nopony who was never anypony, good riddance to something that was never anything."
I laid back on whatever I was standing on, though the view didn't change one bit.
"'Time to be cruel.' Those were the first words I heard when I was born, who'd have thought I'd go out doing the exact opposite? Bet the old man would love that surprise. Oh well, now it's time to not be anything."
"Sorry dear, you're too young to die. You just earned your cutie mark." A hoof gently touched my shoulder.
The white sparkles stopped, then 'scattered' and I was surprisingly whole again. I looked up into Fluttershy's kind and understanding eyes. Fluttershy; the butter yellow, pink maned Pegasus with bright blue eyes, not Princess Gaia the Alicorn, nor the Nightmare. "You haven't even had your Cute-ceañera yet. Do you think you'll pick out a Cute-ceañera Name? Lots of ponies do that during their Cute-ceañera. Should be easier for you, since you don't have any paper work to fill out. Maybe something like Helping Hoof? Like your cutie mark? …I mean if you really like that name, it's what you'd be called for the rest of your life, so it should be something you like…"
Still laying on my back, I glared at her. "I told you, 'Fluttercruel' might be just a name, but it's all I have and I'm keeping it! And dammit, since when do YOU enjoy torturing others! That was supposed to be my job! I don't have a purpose! I'm just a loose thread for a scheme that fell apart! I don't have a past or future! I'll always just be nothing but a bucking carnival mirror reflection of you! I'll always be exactly the same until you grow old and we die together!" I rolled over on my belly. "Just go away and let me die already." I said sulking, crossing my forelegs. "I'm the one who did this to you. I've earned oblivion. So just let me take my end with some dignity this time."
"No. You're my responsibility. You wanted to teach me. It's my fault for not being able to take the lesson like a mare and acting like a filly. And none of my friends are permanently hurt and I'm fine now. I forgive you."
"You can't forgive something that doesn't exist."
"Ponies who don't exist can't earn their cutie mark. And that doesn't look like a blank flank to me."
I glanced at my flanks, seeing the two hooves. "You'd think I'd get a big mallet or three spiders or something. It's funny, I don't really feel all that different. Where's the big change inside? Where's the ... ya know, 'inner awakening' or whatever?"
"Erm, sorry if I sound too much like Twilight but, uh, ahem: 'There is no grand realization of self. The self simply is.'" Then Fluttershy's voice took on a stern tone, "Now stop all this nonsense about not having purpose and not existing. 'Nothing' couldn't have used the Element of Kindness to wash away the darkness. A pony without a spirit wouldn't fight so hard to save somepony else. A pony without a purpose doesn't earn her cutie mark. A poor reflection of a pony can't earn a unique cutie mark," Then came the softness that was Fluttershy's signature. "And, I have to say, for someone whose not even six months old, earning your cutie mark is something you -really- ought to be proud of." Fluttershy hugged me. "I know I'm proud of you…"
She said she was proud of me. She hugged me. This was ... this was the first time anyone in my life, yes, LIFE, had ever hugged me. Why did it feel so nice? Why didn't I want it to stop? Why did I want Fluttershy to just stay here beside me? What was this feeling? It was all like invisible weights I didn't know were there were just falling away, something that had been holding me in, something that had been caging me.
"I ... I'm free."
"WE'RE FREE!" Corrected Fluttershy with more conviction then she could remember having in her life.
"So ... what now 'Shy?"
"I think there's one last part of me that needs help finding her way back, but that's something only our friends can do. Come on 'Cruel, let's go home."
"I told you not to call-... alright, let's go."
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But her kind half will not let her perish. In a heart-warming scene she tells Fluttercruel that she is too young to die, after all she just got her cutie mark. One gentle touch is enough to stop the process and heal the wounded soul. It is Fluttershy who does this, not Princess Gaia or Nightmare Whisper, just Fluttershy. And she just keeps going. She calmly talks about Fluttercruel’s upcoming Cute-ceañera and that the cruel half could change her name if he wanted to. Fluttershy suggests Helping Hoof. A name that doesn’t fit her cruel half at all but the suggestion itself is typical for the kind half and the last proof that Fluttershy is back. But Fluttercruel doesn’t want to give up her first proof of her own existence. Her name was the starting point of a journey that let her become an Element of Kindness. She did grow so much, but their journey isn’t over. Then she sarcastically remarks that suggesting “Helping Hoof” is Fluttershy’s way of torturing her. But the cruel half still claims that she is no person and just a parody of the fluttering pegasus. She thinks oblivion is her deserved punishment for her unintentional corruption of Fluttershy. But the kind half sees her own faults in the Princess Gaia incident. She acted like a child running away from reality when Fluttercruel confronted her with the unkind parts of nature, she did ignore and suppress for so long. And in the end none of her friends were permanently hurt in the battle against Nightmare Whisper. And Fluttercruel is responsible for that as well. She was able to escape from nonexistence, cut her connection to the Nightmare, counter her irresistible stare, inspire Twilight to awaken her Element and help the heroes when they needed the Element of Kindness the most. She has earned her forgiveness.
Fluttercruel would have never suspected that her cutie mark could be something like this, she was hoping for something symbolizing strength or her sense of humour. But she is surprised how little did change for her, she feels just like before. Maybe that means that her cutie mark only reflects her true being. She did help to knock out Pinkie Pie to stop her from working herself to death and calm down Rainbow Dash when she was starting to turn into a Nightmare. Despite not wanting to admit it, she wanted to help those in need of help. Then Fluttershy tries to emulate Twilight with a short lecture about the nature of self. But she tells her cruel half very seriously to stop those claims of nonexistence. She did use the Element of Kindness, proving that she does exist. She fought beyond what anyone thought was possible to protect someone else, proving the strength of her will and soul. She didn’t only earn a cutie mark but a unique one, proving once and for all that she is her own person. And Fluttercruel did all of this despite being only 6 months old. Fluttershy is so proud of her and here in this strange white space, she can do what she could never do before and hugs her other half. Fluttercruel is moved by her gesture of kindness. She never felt so good in her entire life. Finally she feels alive. Both are free but Fluttershy isn’t saved completely. To free her from her chains there is something her friends still have to do. Now both walk forward.
Overall this is a short, yet wonderful chapter about Fluttercruel almost vanishing. A pony born of Chaos was taught kindness and used what she had learned to save her corrupted kind half. But kindness is always returned with interest and in turn Fluttershy was there for her cruel half when she needed her the most. The name of the chapter goes back to the very first chapter of the Reharmonized Ponies story, where Fluttershy brought up the comparison to the process of the creation of a pearl: A tiny bit of sand becomes a beautiful pearl inside an oyster. Not only does it fit Fluttercruel perfectly but it also describes the journeys the other characters experienced. They are more than what they started as.
Keep up the great work!
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