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Pinkie Pie? 4th Wall Breaking Variety Show? 6 Or..

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Pinkie Pie's 4th Wall Breaking Variety Show
Pony POV Series
"Non-Canon"
By Alex Warlorn
Episode 6 I think

* REC
* PLAY
* TRANSMITTING

Pinkie Pie looked at the camera, inside the spacious empty TV studio. "Hey everypony! Yep! It's that time again! What time is it?"

Special indoor fireworks on loan from Trixie went off as the banner,

"Pinkie Pie's Fourth-Wall-Breaking Variety Show!" was unfurled.

"Now everypony who's new here remember the rules! What you put in the comments appears in the story. Nopony besides me can see beyond the fourth wall. The camera can't leave the studio. The characters can be from any generation, toy or comic but they have to be from official "My little Pony", and everypony STAYS in character! Everything that happens here is non-canon. And most importantly Have fun."

Pinkie Pie looked around. "Okie-dokie-lokie. No sign of any letters from fans yet, or suggestions for acts I can do. So I guess this is where I wait for somepony to randomly show up. That format has worked for us so far. Who says character-driven, staying-in-character comedy is impossible?"

The wall behind the studio is blown to bits.

A gigantic robot chicken stands tall in the outline it has made for itself.

"BAWK! I DO DECLARES! INSTEAD OF FLASH ANIMATION WE WILL HAVE ACTION FIGURE STOP MOTION! AND ALL COMEDY WILL BE REPLACED WITH BLUE AND BLACK HUMOR! ALL CHARACTERIZATION WILL BE TAKEN OUT OF CONTEXT OR DERAILED FOR THE SAKE OF THE TWIN BLACK AND BLUE MUSES! SO COMMANDS THE ROBOT CHICKEN!"

Pinkie Pie looked freaked out at the sudden entrance, then angry at the mess the robot chicken had made, but then tilted her head confused at the speech.

"Wait a sec'. Isn't the robot chicken supposed to be a cyborg, resurrected by a mad scientist, and made to watch helplessly horrible and cruel parodies?"

"BAWK! DO NOT QUESTION THE ROBOT CHICKEN! NOW START MAKING PONY FLAVORED CUPCAKES OR ACTING LIKE A NAIVE IDIOT WHERE REALITY GETS YOU KILLED IN FIVE-MINUTES IF YOU'RE FORTUNATE! GOT IT?! THE SHADOWS LOVE IT!"

"No they don't!"

"THAT'S NAIVE IDIOT RIGHT THERE! GREAT! OF COURSE THEY LOVE IT! THEY LOVE SEEING THEIR FOALHOOD CARTOON HEROES SUFFER HORRIBLY OR BE TOTAL HORSEAPPLE-HEADS!"

"Well I don't! And this is my show!"

"NOT ANYMORE! YOU'RE BEING REPLACED! WHY ELSE WOULD DISCORDED PONIES EPILOGUE BE THIS SERIES' MOST FAVORITED AND READ EPISODE? SHADOWS LOVE SUFFERING! THE WORSE THE BETTER!"

" ... " Pinkie Pie looked back with a picture of horror on her face.

"NOW LET'S GET YOUR FRIENDS IN HERE SO WE CAN MAKE THE PAIN SIX THAT ARE SO POPULAR ON TUMBLR."

" ... NO!" Pinkie Pie glared daggers at the giant robot chicken.

"Huh? You're going to just ignore everything I just said? Bzt! That's stupid!"

" ... Maybe it is what shadows really want. But I'm sick of looking at it. I'm sick of shadows who only want ugly things. What did Twilight call it? Oh yeah, 'the cult of the ugly.' Not sure how that's really a cult though. They don't even have robes or secret meetings.

And I am really, really, really sick of that fic being referenced every five minutes! So you apologize for ruining my studio wall, this place is RENTED after all, and you help me fix it, and maybe I'll even throw you a party after if you don't try to fill Equestria with mean and icky jokes that just hurt ponies."

" ... BAWK! I'm going to turn YOU into chicken feed!"

"Don't bet on it!"

= Collective Consciousness - Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance =

The giant robot chicken tried to crush Pinkie Pie like a bug, but the party pony would be just a little too fast for the giant metal chicken.

The chicken opened its beak and fired a barrage of rotten eggs Pinkie Pie danced around, but it gave a distraction then got stepped on by the giant chickened leaving her flat like a pancake. Pinkie Pie popped back into shape just in time to see the chicken's eye lasers being fired.

"Eye lasers? Really? Who even uses those anymore except Cyclopie?"

Pinkie Pie was fried by the attack.

"Bawk! Now stay down!"

"No ..." Pinkie Pie shook her head shaking the cobwebs away. "Okay. My turn. Bring it."

"COCKY LITTLE-"

"You're the chicken not me!"

"AGH!"

The chicken stomped and clawed at the little pony, tearing apart the studio floor, but Pinkie Pie kept appearing at one side of its vision after having vanished from its view on the opposite side.

The giant robot chicken opened its wings and flapped them, creating a powerful wind that knocked away Pinkie Pie unleashing a stream of metal feathers that came close to impaling the pink party pony.

"Of course!" Pinkie Pie grinned seeing them, "That's how these boss battles always work!" Thinking of every time she had done a search for a new cupcakes recipe, or learn more about the rainbow factory, only to come across something else instead, she took one of the giant metal feathers by the quill and charged at the giant robot chicken that fired its eye beams, but Pinkie used the giant feather as a shield.

Coming up to its claws, time seemed to slow down except for Pinkie who took out a wrench and screw driver and clobbered one of the metal legs with ninja-like swiftness, when time perception was back to normal the leg fell apart.

"BAWK! YOU LITTLE WORM!" It now balanced on one leg.

"YOU JUST REMINDED ME OF THE BAKED BADS! BAD CHICKEN!" The giant beak came down on her, but she jumped onto it's body and used its own metal feather to slice off one of its wings.

The robot chicken's head turned like an owl's head fired its eye lasers at Pinkie ... who was still on the robot's body, this time she dodged and the lasers lasted its own body. "AGGGH! ERROR!"

The chickened turned to Pinkie Pie ... and was face to face with the party cannon ... the Party Cannon L118 Happy Howitzer MK II that was dismantled and melted down in canon. It had a little tag on it marked 'In case of Discord. Hugs and kisses from your bestest best friend in the whole wide world- Pinkie Pie.'

The Party Cannon MK II fired, blasting a hole through one of the three remaining walls, and obliterating the robot chicken's head. Missing an wing, leg, and head ... the robot fell over. Pinkie Pie landed and did a polite bow in front of the camera. She smiled. "Ta-da!"

The headless robot chicken hopped up on one leg and sliced her in two with its surviving wing. The end.

Kidding!

Pinkie Pie replaced her body with a pinata at the last moment, revealing a bunch of confetti and candy.  

Pinkie Pie ran up the edge of the wing like a tight-rope walker, and threw a party grenade (patent pending) down the headless robot's neck. The robot's insides promptly exploded, the outer shell actually preventing MORE damage from the studio, and then fell apart into smoking pieces.

"There ... sorry for that little distraction folks. I hope the fight scene was a little bit actiony or whatever Rainbow Dash would say, but I hope we can just have some heart-warming and comedy, isn't that right What-If Machine?"

Pinkie Pie tapped the TV.


-
"Ah hate robots!" AJ shouted from inside the glass tube. A robot version of Princess Celestia pushed a button.

ZAP!

"Ah love bein' a robot!" The now roboticized Applejack cheered as the tube opened.

"Cutie-Mark Crusaders Roboticizers! Yeah!" Cheered three little robot fillies.

"Hey guys! Check out my totally rad new Fighter mode!" The now mechanized Rainbow Dash said to the transformed ponies.
-

"Well ... that wasn't that bad. At least the CMC weren't turned into killers, and everypony still has their memories and all their legs unlike in My Little Portal."

It fizzed again.

-

"Okay," said Starlight looking over her notes, as sat with Lancer and four of her friends, "What do we know about this Masked Herd, so far?"

"That they want the hopes and dreams of ponies for themselves," Said Patch.

"And they get them by making those dreams and hopes come true," Sighed Bright Eyes.

"And that AFTER they granted those wishes, the pony starts feeling all empty inside," Patch noted.

"That they have the same power to summon Ponysonas like us," added Lancer.

"Not the same as ours. They're different, like they're inversions somehow." Sweetheart said, remember the Ponysona that poor Clover had summoned after her wish was granted.

'And they gave Bonbon the body she always wanted,' Sweetheart silently added.

-

"Wow. That looked like it could a full blown spoof series. Too bad the author will never write it. I wonder if any of the fans out there are good at writing happen to be fans of that game series too. Aw well... "

-

Scootaloo read the tiny note that came with the remote control she found buried in a box trying to be Cutie Mark Crusader Treasure Hunters (no cutie marks).

"This remote grants you complete control of reality. Any changes made to reality retroactive become 'always was.' Only you, and ones you select are aware reality has changed at all. Heh, what a joke." Scootaloo stopped thinking it was a joke after she gave herself huge wings and her friends wondered what she was talking about. Didn't she always have huge wings?

The next day at school, after a use of the remote Scootaloo thought was poetic justice, she laughed at the result.

"Scootaloo, why are ya bein' so mean ta Silk Scarf?" Applebloom asked.

"Who?" Scootaloo blinked.

"The poor filly ya've been laughin' at all day! Ya think because her family's broke ya can just laugh at her?"

"What? She teases us all the time."

"No she doesn't! Scootaloo, did ya hit yer head?"

That was when it hit Scootaloo. Diamond Tiara's family had NEVER been rich, because the changes were 'always was' ... which meant she was never a spoiled brat ... which meant ... Scootaloo felt sick ... she had just spent the day jeering and making poverty jokes at an innocent filly ...
-

"BAD WHAT IF MACHINE! SHOW NICE THINGS FOR A CHANGE!"

-

"And now I crown ye, Princess Thalia!" Said Princess Celestia to the purified Nightmare of Pinkie Pie. All her friends, Rainbow Dash and Rarity included cheered.

-

"Ohh! Some me more of that one!" Pinkie Pie began to fiddle with the What-if machine.

"Pinkie Pie!" Twilight called standing in the chicken sized hole in the wall. "What happened in here?!"

"Oh! Hi Twilight!" Pinkie Pie turned around ... accidentally knocking the camera off it's stand when the entire battle did not . .. and it fell into a hole in the floor ... and was shown a swirling colored vortex.

-

* REC
* PLAY
* TRANSMITTING

"Pinkie Pie! How could your camera fall into another universe or another time through a random hole in the floor! That doesn't make sense."

"Well, maybe it had to do with leylines. Maybe there was a lot of them criss crossing again, that's always a common plot device we seem to use."

"?! Leylines don't work that way! And how would you know where your camera went anyway?!"

A long and boring discussion about the nature of time-and-space later, and Pinkie playing back what the first camera was STILL broadcasting as they spoke.

" ... okay, maybe it is."

"The good news is that the camera is enchanted to teleport through time and space back to the studio as soon as the show's over as a safety feature."

"So ... how are YOU still transmitting now?"

"This is the back-up camera, too bad it really doesn't have that good a battery charg-" The screen was static. "Twilight! I need your unicorn magic-charger-thingie!"

-

"What's this?" Surprise said tapping the TV screen in a large pink room.

Surprise found a strange little note tapped to the side of the camera, had it been there before? 'The camera can not leave the room that is being used as the 'studio.' The studio shall be whatever room or chamber is used when the camera is first turned on. Only you, the one to find this camera, may speak directly to the viewers.' Oh! Is this one of those things for showing stuff in the human world that Megan always talked about? ... Hiiii humans! I'm Surprise The Pegasus! Welcome to The Little Ponies Variety show!"
-

Surprise grinned. "Oh. I know what I can do with this. It'll be one of the best pranks ever. Oh Celestia! Will you get over here? I have something to show you."

Celestia fluttered over. Her mane had been dyed black, and thick eyeliner was drawn under her eyes. She wore fishnets on all four legs and heavy chains around her neck.

"But Surprise, you distracted me from my daily listening of The Cure! It speaks.."

Surprise rolled her eyes. "To your soul. Yes, we figured that out the first time you told that to Wind Whistler. But Celestia, I have a super important task for you."

"What?"

"Gather up your sister and see if Molly and Danny brought any instruments over today. We're gonna make you two even more famous in Paradise Estate."

"Famous?" Celestia asked innocently.

"Yeah, we're gonna record you and the others singing something from The Cure, and that way everyone will know how important they were to you for the rest of your life."

Celestia's eyes suddenly shifted. "Forever? Uh, but, how are you going to do that?"

Surprise pointed at the camera. "Why with this of course. It'll be the best recording ever! In fact, it's going right now!"

Celestia's eyes widened looking at the camera.
-
Dissy looked at the camera with a cute innocent smile. "So humans can see us through this?"

Surprise nodded. "Yep."

"And we're going to prank Celly and the others with it?!" asked the still innocent baby draconequus, his excitement growing.

"Exactly!"

"Count me in-, hey, what's this little warning label say?"

The two pranksters peaked at a little warning label. "Warning; this camera is specially designed to break the fourth wall. The following effects may result; bizarre situations, random cameos, hearing the author, and general harmless craziness," Surprise read, blinking. "Huh, wonder what that means."

Dissy smiled from ear to ear. "I don't know but I think I like it!"
-
-
“Celly does look kinda adorable like that, don’t you think Dissy?“

The small Draconequus blushed a bit before shoving the camera to focus onto a really interesting rock instead of his red face.

“Now she looks… a bit more like… Luna’s twin sister. Yeah, that’s it! But weren’t we supposed to do something else today?”

Surprise tilted her head a bit before a burning candle appeared over her head. Discord quickly moved it aside.

“Applejack wanted some help with her pie.”

“We can do that here as well. What could possibly go wrong?” the tiny Draconequus cheered as an anvil fell down onto his head and bounced off with a squeaky sound effect.
-
As Luna, Celestia, Danny and Molly gathered with their instruments, a letter floated down in front of Surprise.

"Hmm? What's this?" Surprise asked as she opened the letter.

Dear Surprise,
I was wondering if we could get a sneak peek of the final chapter(s) of Dark World.
Signed, Anonymous Pony Fan


Surprise looked confused as she read the letter.

"A sneak peek of what?" Dissy asked, looking over Surpise's shoulder.

"I have no idea what this thing is talking about." Surprise said, "Also, how is my name on here?"

Just then, a cell phone fell from the sky and landed in front of Surprise and Discord. On the cell phone was a sticky note that read 'Call one of the two names in the contact list to ask about sneak peek'. Surprise went to look at the contacts and saw two names listed:

*Alex Warlorn

*Walex Arlorn, Alex Warlorn's evil alternate universe doppelganger.

Surprise called the first number:

"This is Alex Warlorn. I'm unavailable right now. Please leave a message at the end of the beep." beep

"Okay, let's try this second number then." Surprise said as she hit the call button:

"This is Walex Arlorn. I'm unavailable right now due to trying to take over the world and/or stroking my goatee in an evil fashion. Please leave a message at the end of the scream." sound of a tortured person screaming

"Well, that was pointless." Surprise said as she put the phone down.

"Who exactly is this Alex person anyway?" Dissy asked.

"I have no idea, but I get the feeling he might be a human. Maybe Danny and Molly know who he is." Surprise suggested.

"Hey Danny! Molly!" Discord called out, "Do you two know someone named Alex Warlorn!"

"I once knew a girl named Alex. Does that help?" Danny asked.

"No, I think this Alex is a guy." Surprise said.

"Oh, then sorry, I can't think of who it could be." Danny said.

"Should we try calling again later?" Dissy asked.

"Nah, this Alex guy probably isn't that important." Surprise said.
-
A whistling is heard, leading into speak "-dear, no no I'm- *whistle whistle* not supposed to be here. Oh no- *whistlewhistlewhistle*

Surprise blinks a few times. "Wind Whistler? Is that you?" The white pegasus walks around a stage that... she wasn't really sure where it came from, but it would do nicely for the performance later. Once she reaches the other side, she finds another pegasus mare, this one blue with a pink tail and a mane that is half pink and half blond, her Cutie Mark is a group of purple flowers and she seems to be whistling to herself in addition to some muttering. "You're not Wind Whistler."

The other pony jumps slightly, but shakes her head. "No- *whistle* I'm- *whistlewhistle* Thistle Whistle." She speaks with a noticeable lisp, as if she'd start whistling at any moment again. "And- *whistlewhistlewhistle* I'm not suppose to be here."

Surprise tilts her head, confused. "Why not?"

Thistle Whistle just shakes her head vigorously. "I don't- *whistle* know, everything is r- *whistlewhistle* really unclear up here," she taps the side of her head. "I'm just not suppose to be here, I know that."

Surprise frowns, then helps her up. "Well, you ARE here, so let's have some fun while you are! I've got to introduce you to Wind Whistler, she loves to whistle too, you'll love her!"
-
Applejack the First looked the camera over.

"Applejack, be careful!" called Twilight the First, wanting to make sure her clumsy friend didn't damage it. "We don't know where it came from!"

"Oh Ah know, Ah'll be careful-oops!"

Dissy dove and caught the falling camera. "I got it!"

Suddenly, a strange device fell from the sky and landed nearby.

Applejack started at it. "Ah didn't do it!"

---

"Pin-ie P--! Wh- di- y-u dr-p the Wha- I- Ma-hi-e d-w- the-e!"

"I tho-gh- w-oev-r ha- t-e cam-ra ne-de- the Wh-t If M-ch-ne to-! Ju-t k-ep rec-arg-ing the ca-era!"

---

Dissy blinked, cocking his head. "What is it?" he asked.

"Looks kind of like a TV..." Applejack said as the others still set up.

Dissy poked the device a few times, prompting it to switch on.

---

"See! I told you I'd bring back help!" called Firefly, smirking.

Twilight nodded. "Yes but...where did you find giant transforming robots?" she asked, watching the epic battle between the Autobots as they called themselves and Tirak.

"Well I was going to just get this girl with blond hair, but I saw these guys and thought they were awesome!"

---

"What do you think now, mom?! Am I so useless now?!" asked Draggle, now a white witch visiting her mother in prison

"How dare you be a goodie good!" Hydia yelled back, enraged.

Draggle growled. "Because at least the ponies actually taught me GOOD magic and treated me right!"

Twilight looked to the others. "Good thing we decided to keep our word and teach her good magic, she's actually pretty good at it."

---

"No! This can't be happening!" yelled Morning Star, standing next to Grogar.

"Girls! Lets show them what Friendship can do!" announced Twilight Sparkle, her and her friends preparing to fire the Elements, having had Rota Fortuna's aid in returning decades into the past to follow Morning Star.

"Take this!" announced Megan, her friends surrounding her.

"NOOOOO!" yelled Morning star as two rainbows converged on him and his teammate.

---

The screen shut down, much to the pony's confusion. "What the...." Dissy asked, scratching his head.

"Well, I recognized Draggle being good...it seemed to have shown somekind of alternate history, or perhaps one that could have existed if we'd turned right instead of left..." Twilight assumed. "Quite interesting."

"Yeah yeah, alternate reality, let's just get to the prank!" Dissy whined, giving puppydog eyes.

Applejack chuckled. "I'm kind of looking forwards to it myself."
-
"Alright, is everything ready for the prank... I mean, 'band'." asked Surprise.

"Almost. What do you want me to due with this fake vomit?" asked Dissy.

"I don't remember fake vomit being part of the plan." Surprise said as she looked at the clipboard in her hooves, "But I like the idea. I'll try to see if I can fit it in."

"Momma?" said a voice behind Surprise.

Surprise looked to see who it was and gasped. It was another pegasus almost identical to her, except she had only one balloon for her cutie mark instead of five. "What are you doing here?" Surprise asked.

"I'm not entirely sure." the pegasus answered.

"Aunty Surprise, who is this?" asked Dissy.

"This is my daughter, Surprise II." answered Surprise, "But this doesn't make any sense. You left with your dad centuries ago."

"Like I said, I'm not sure how I got here." Surprise II said.

"I'm guessing -*whistle* she got her by the same -*whistle* means as me." said Thistle Whistle.

"And I didn't come alone either. I brought some friends." Surprise II said as she indicated two other ponies that weren't noticed until now.

Surprise gasped again, "Oh my. Applejack! Firefly!" she called out, "I think you guys really need to see this!"

Applejack and Firefly looked to see what Surprise was talking about, and gasped in shock when they saw them. Right there, staring back at them, were their respective daughters Applejack II and Firefly II.
-
(Author's note: Yes people, there IS a Baby Firefly. mylittlewiki.org/wiki/Baby_Fir… She never appeared in the cartoon but in plenty of other media including the kid's books.

And there was a Baby Applejack mylittlewiki.org/wiki/Baby_App… but the doll was sold only in Europe and never appeared in the cartoon.

I didn't believe it either at first.)
-
"You're all grown up . . . " Firefly said to her child.

"Uh, hi mom."

"You were so small when I last saw you." Applejack whispered.

"So . . . my baby is all grown up?" Surprise asked the near identical pony.

" . . . It is kinda weird to call me 'Baby' Surprise now."

Thistle Whistle wished she could vanish, she really felt like a third wheel here.

She felt a tab on her shoulder she turned to see a blue pegasus with whistles for a cutie mark. She spoke in a intellectual and technical voice, "Excuse me, you are Miss Thistle Whistle? I do believe Surprise said the two of us would much to discuss."
-
The strange pegasus from a time the no longer existed whistled excitedly at the prospect of meeting the intellectual pegasus that had been mentioned by Surprise. "*Whistle* H-hi there! I- *whistle* I'm Thistle- *whistle* Whistle!"

Wind Whistler scrutinized the other pegasus, as if trying to figure something out. "Are you..."

"*Whistlewhistle* Surprise said you- *whistle* liked to whistle too! I know- *whistlewhistle* it's not my *whistle* special talent, but-"

Wind Whistler interrupted her, with a string of whistles of her own, causing Thistle Whistle to pause, then start jumping around excitedly as she returns a series of her own whistles. The two seem to go back forth for a short bit, before Surprise- looking very confused- joins them again.

"Okay, time out," she crosses her hooves to make the traditional 'T', "what is going on over here?"

"It is Silbo Gomero," Wind Whistler answers, "a language comprised entirely of whistling. From what Miss Thistle Whistle is telling me, it is her first language; she's been having some trouble adapting to our way of speaking due to how different the two are, hence her propensity for whistling."

"What *whistle* she said."

Surprise blinks a few times, then turns to Wind Whistler. "And you can speak it?"

She points to her cutie mark. "It is a type of whistling, is it not?"

"...good point."

(Fun fact, that's a real language: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Silbo_Go… and this is just a bit of personal headcanon for me regarding Thistle Whistle's way of speaking.)
-
Surprise looked over to Wind Whistler talking calmly next to Thistle Whistle, it reminded her a lot of how Shady or Mimic acted next to their children. The smart pegasus always intimidated Surprise a bit but there was no doubt that she was a good friend.

“Now we REALLY need a new name for me!” her own child interrupted her train of thoughts.

“Maybe Surprise the Second?” Applejack mused as she caught her own daughter as Applejack II tripped over her own feet in shock to the unexpected reunion.

“Stunner?” Firefly and Firefly II suggested at the same time, before chuckling about it.

“I said it first!”

“No way!”

“Let’s race to decide!”

“Three, two, one… GO!”

Both pegasi blasted off into the distance.

“The only one who gets to rename me is mom! What do you think?” Surprise’s daughter focused on her mother.

“Well… it is somewhat weird to still call you ‘Baby’… that is not easy… can I have more time for that decision?”

“Huh? Sure mom, no need to pressure yourself.”

Both pegasi hugged.

Meanwhile Discord and the two Applejacks began to work on ideas for their next prank.

“Let’s see… we have basically doubles of Applejack, Surprise, Firefly and Wind Whistler… how about we make Lula and Celly think that the Estate is under attack by evil clones?” the tiny Draconequus tried to come up with something as big comfortable (and eatable) marshmallows appeared under Surprise and her child.

“Or we could do this trick where my mother leaves through one door and I come back in through a door from the other side.” Applejack II suggested.

“I like the way you think.”
-
"Hold on a second." said Surprise, "I like Applejack II's prank idea too, but we already have another prank going on; the incredibly vague one that we're planning on Celestia's band. We can't have two pranks, can we?"

"Do we even have any sort of idea what we're doing for the band prank?" asked Dissy.

"I was going to improvise." said Surprise.

"I'm going to have to agree with Discord. The original prank doesn't seem to be going anywhere." said Twilight.

"Fine, after Firefly and her daughter are done with their race, I'll gather everyone who's in on the prank to vote on whether we should drop it or not." said Surprise.

"Hey, Mom." Baby Applejack said to her mother, "I was thinking that since Surprise and her mother are trying to come up with a different name for her, that maybe I should do the same."

"You don't like being called Applejack?" asked Applejack.

"No, I do. It's just that it would be kind of confusing for us to both be called Applejack. Plus, I'm a little old to be called Baby." said her daughter, "How about Jackie? You know, like a shortened version of Applejack."

"Jackie? Yeah, I think I like it. Jackie it is." Applejack said after giving it some thought.
-
Spike the Fifth watched the situation at hand, giving a chuckle. "I wonder why they're so worked up over having the same name as an ancestor of theirs, I'm the fifth and you don't see me wanting a new name."

"I say, good point," said a rather refined voice nearby.

Spike the Fifth watched as what he felt looked like a more cartoony picture of one of his father's baby pictures walked on stage. "Uh...hi...Sorry, I just don't meet that many other dragons..."

"Neither do I to be honest," said the other dragon. "Oh, pardon me, I forgot to introduce myself. I am Kenbroath Gillspotten Heathspike, the Fourth, or just Spike."

Spike V's eyes went wide. "Uh...likewise, except I'm the Fifth..."

The two stared at each other in blank shock. "Well...this certainly seems improbable..."

"Yeah...my dad died awhile ago, at the proud old age of 12,002 years old..."

"Wait, that's considered old here? Hmm, quite odd, where I'm from a million is considered old for a dragon...Wait, dye-ed? What's dye-ed?"

The two just both stared again. "...Ok...this is the second most awkward thing that's ever happened to me..." Spike V remarked.
-
Alright, seeing as I was the original one to get this idea, I think it's time to get the prank going. But first, continuity.

Meanwhile, in the Alicorn Realm
------
Routa Fortuna was chasing Puerilis like a bear hunting a rabbit. Her face looked very irritated, while Puerilis kept laughing in the chase.

"I TOLD YOU YOU LITTLE JOKER, NO SPIKE CAN EVER MEET HIS NAMESAKES BEFORE HIM! THIS IS GETTING BACK AT ME FOR MAKING THAT HORRIBLE JOKE ABOUT CHICKENS AND ROADS LAST FOREVER, ISN'T IT?"

Puerilis turned to face his sister, then manifested a fruitstand that she crashed through it, temporarily stunned. "No." he replied with a smug face. "But it is still funny." And he fell over laughing at the absurdity of 4th wall shows.
-------

Celestia began fluttering into the room, a rather disgruntled and tired looking Luna behind her.

"Oh no." Surprise went wide. "We're not ready to go yet. DISSY! STALL THEM! It's time to get a supersized prank going."

Discord saluted, causing a rubber chicken to fly at surprise's head. "Oops." Discord muttered, before flying before the two alicorns asking them what they would do if a minotaur attacked them.

Surprise took a quick stock over all she had. She also looked towards the audience and whispered, "Any ideas?"

A letter suddenly manifested near surprise, who opened it, looked it over, and then grinned.

Quickly, she flew over to Wind Whistler and Thistle Whistle, who were apparently conversing about the benefits of self preservation vs Self Sacrifice if taken to extremes.

"Alright you two, I think it's time to execute our super duper prank now. We can even incorporate my little wondrous surprise and firefly's daughter into it all. You ready?"

Wind Whistler gave surprise a quick look. "You sure this won't hurt Celestia's feelings? I mean, pranks can go pretty wrong pretty fast if you're not careful."

"Well..that's the best part. It'll end like this..."

5 minutes later....

Firefly and her daughter had been filled in too, and things were finally ready. (Incidentally, the race was a photo finish, and they promised to look at it later)

"Alright. Celestia, Luna, Dissy. We're all here and ready. We'll even bring in some more ponies when you're ready." Surprise called. Years of practice with Dissy had given her a great poker face.

The two spikes in the back meanwhile were struggling not to snicker, but excused themselves to the far back to keep from blowing it all. Molly and Danny had excused themselves to help Megan with another bad guy that Star-Reacher, Posey and Mimic had gone to deal with. Something about..."Him again."

Celestia stepped up, Luna tiredly behind her. Surprise nodded her head, giving discord the, "Do It!"

Discord grinned and shouted, "Roll it! But first, let's get you some costumes!" He then suddenly snapped his finger, causing a silly bo peep costume to appear on Celestia, and a sheep costume to appear on luna.

"What?!?" exclaimed celestia into a microphone, the force of her voice revealing that it was hollow, spilling the fake vomit in front of them.

"Sister, Art Thou that surprised?" Luna said, very surprised herself. At that moment, the first firefly flew down.

"Celestia, are you alright?"

Followed by Firefly's daughter. "Celestia, are you alright?"

Celestia's head was spinning, as her eyes were widening like none other. "I..I..I...I...What's going on?" She backed up, bumped into someone, turned around, and saw surprise's daughter behind her. Celestia's eyes became pinpricks, she felt herself begin swooning, and tipped over, overloaded by it all.

Luna looked at everything around her and said in a sudden realization, "Hast we been pranked?"

To which Baby surprise looked at luna and simply said, "Gotcha."

With those words, suddenly everyone broke out laughing, even luna.

Luna then looked down at her unconcious sister. "But, mine sister hast missed thy very best part. What a foul disappointment."

"Oh, no worries." Surprise said. "Dissy and I have one last punchline for her."

--2 minutes later--

Celestia finally came to. She looked at Dissy standing over her, floating on one knee, holding a twig twisted into a hoof ring.

Dissy said (with a small amount of blush on his cheeks), "Celestia, will you be my best friend forever?"

Something in the way he said it suddenly made Celestia go whiter than usual, as the events before all that came back to her. "Noooooo!!! The camera caught all that! Nobody will ever take me seriously again! MY LIFE IS RUINEEDD!!" she cried, doing a great impression of one of firefly's future descendants.

"Oh calm down celestia." Surprise piped as she walked up to the alicorn. "We'd never show this outside of family. And besides, the camera didn't even get that."

"What?"

"I never pressed the button at all" Surprise's daughter said as she walked into celestia's vision.

Celestia suddenly got stiff. "Was...was that all some practical joke? And why are there 2 surprises here suddenly?"

"Why Celestia, that's no way to talk to my girl."

"Wait, your daughter?"

Both surprises looked at each other, then at celestia, and in unison said, "Surprise!"

Celestia still looked bemused, but she managed to smile, and hug the littler white pegasus.
-
Meanwhile…

Twilight Sparkle tapped the replacement television set with a hoof. The picture fuzzed up a bit, but remained. “So, what are we seeing this time? Are those really ponies from the past? And… Princess Celestia? Surely that can’t be Discord…”

“I WAS quite the little scamp in those days, wasn’t I?” remarked Discord himself, lounging on thin air and munching from a bucket of popcorn. “So innocent, so naïve, so potentially… bleeech… redeemable. But adorable all the same!” Towering shelves full of Baby Discord action figures appeared, then promptly wobbled and toppled over, burying them in cardboard and plastic packages.

Twilight groaned, lighting up her horn to unbury them, flinging toys every which way. “Who let him out?”

“Oh, I’m sorry! It must be dreadfully difficult for that orderly little mind of yours to cope with the unexpected.” With a cartoon whistling sound, a stone statue of Discord fell, cracking the studio floor. Discord snaked over behind it and put a paw over his mouth to muffle his voice. “Does thith make you feel better?”

Twilight fumed. “Not… really. But I know something that will! Pinkie?”

The draconequus scoffed. “You can’t oppress me with canon here.” Only to do a double-take as the shadow of the Party Cannon L118 Happy Howitzer MK II fell over him. “No, no! Not can-non… Canon!“

“Canon?” Pinky Pie looked mighty perplexed, then cried “Aha!” … but instead of a light bulb, a shining yellow citrus fruit appeared, floating over her head.

“That’s a lemon,” Discord deadpanned.

Pinkie Pie darted out of the camera frame and trotted over to Discord with a fish in her mouth. She slapped him across the face with it.

“That’s a salmon.”

Pinkie Pie spun around, revealing Spike sitting on her back… who breathed green fire, burning Discord to a crisp.

“That’s a dragon,” growled Discord, shaking a pencil at Pinky Pie, apparently just so he could snap it in half. Shaking off the soot, he flitted over to Twilight briefly. “Keep an eye on Mini-Me, would you? I've got a upstart challenger to thrash. Won't be but a moment!”
-
"Ah-heheheh See, daughters, what did I tell you?" Three wild cackles broke out above the assembled ponies, alicorns, and draconequi. They looked up in confusion as a trio of familiar grizzled hags riding brooms descended to the ground. "Now that that brat Megan and her siblings are gone, we'll finally destroy Paradise Estates!" Before they could say anything else, Surprise flew over to them.

"Oh, hi, Hydia, Reeka!" She looked at the third, rather skinnier witch. "Hi, Draggle," she said, sounding dismayed. "Er, sorry about that one time..." She flinched as the witch glared at her.

"You mean when you promised to teach me good magic and just tied me up instead?" Draggle snapped back. "I'm on Mom's side this time! You ponies made us look incompetent for too long!"

"Umm, weren't you guys always incompetent, and wasn't it more like we ponies just pointed that out?" Surprise asked. Unknown to the witches, Discord, Celly, and Luna began walking up behind them. Ignoring the venomous looks the trio gave her, Surprise asked, "Look, we're kinda in the middle of a show here, and you three were written out years ago. Can't you go put warts on toads or something -- EEK!" Her cry came as Hydia stepped forward and flung a handful of sickly purple colored dust into her face. The cloud covered Surprise and when it vanished, an odd pink earth pony with a straight mane stood there, a wicked grin on her face.

"Surprise!" The other ponies gasped in horror. Hydia just cackled maliciously.

"Hah! See, girls, I told you that copy of the Necronomicon was good for more than holding up one end of the couch! It told me how to make that dust that draws evil versions of good people from other worlds and times! We'll just use it on the rest of these glue factory rejects, and then we'll have an army of ponies to devastate the Estates, and... errr..." Her words trailed off as the new pony began advancing on the three, having whipped out a cleaver and butcher knife from somewhere.

"Oooh, who wants some special Halloween cupcakes?" She grinned madly at Hydia and her daughters. "Witch themed!"

"Oh, I'll take some!" Reeka clapped her hands, only to yell when Hydia slapped her across the back of her head.

"Just run, stupid!" They turned to flee, only to stop at the sight of a draconequus and two alicorns standing there with very angry looks on their faces. They backed away, only to freeze at a psychotic giggle from the earth pony.

"You..." Celestia stomped forward, head out-thrust and horn glowing painfully bright. "You turned dear Surprise into, into THAT!" She cast her spell Discord just as Discord used his own powers, and the three miserable hags vanished with wild shrieks. Celestia blinked and looked at Discord. "Dissey, what did you do? I wasn't going to kill them, just change them into something unable to use magic!"

"I know," Discord said. "So the instant after your spell hit, I sent them far into the future from here. They can hang out and do some honest work in the mines of, what were they called," He took out a reference book from nowhere and scanned it. "Oh, the 'Diamond Dogs.'"

Luna meanwhile faced the mad mare, who seemed to be calmer now. "And, and you are an evil Surprise?"

"Huh? Nawww!" The pink mare puffed on one hoof and her mane inflated into a poofy mass. "I'm Pinkie Pie, one of her descendants! I think. I guess Surprise and I just changed places. Boy, I bet she's gonna have a lot of fun with my friend Dashie; she loves it when I chase her to play, and your friend has wings!"
-
“I see, you must be Surprise, one of Pinkie ancestors. Welcome to the very distant future and to Ponyville. My name is Twilight. Normally Pinkie Pie would throw a party for you but she is currently back in your own world.” The purple unicorn said calmly.

“I just travelled through time and space?”

“Yes.”

“And I switched places with somebody from another time?”

“Yes.”

“And this didn’t surprise you at all?”

“I am used to Pinkie Pie, I have survived Discord and countless of these strange 4th wall shows (whatever that means), so now hardly anything can surprise me anymore.”

A soapbox appeared under the unicorn much to the delight of Surprise.

“I would love to show you around (and give you some lectures about modern Equestria) but I must continue to work on these batteries for Pinkie Pie. So I will have to shorten down my speech a bit. Three hours should cover the basics. If only Rain-“

“You were calling?”

With insane speed Rainbow Dash flew through the still wide open gap the giant robot chicken had left behind. Twilight tripped on her soapbox and it collapsed under her weight.

“Rainbow! I didn’t even manage to completely call out your name!!”

“And that is a new speed record! Another day that has almost reached awesome status, I just need to add a few pranks to make it complete.” The Pegasus struck a pose.

“Did you say pranks?”

“Ops… My name is Rainbow Dash, what is yours?”

“I am Surprise, Pinkie Pie’s… distant twice removed prank-loving cousin.” Surprise managed to say in a bubbly voice not unlike Pinkie Pie.

“Are you thinking what I am thinking?”

“Prank time!” Both pegasi grinned wide and flew off to the unsuspecting town.
-
"Wow! So this is where the camera ended up!" Pinkie exclaimed, looking at it. She then blinked, looking at the tiny adorable Discord. Hard to believe he used to be so adorable and friendly.

"You're not going to take the camera away, are you?" asked Dissy, giving puppy dog eyes.

"Nah," Pinkie said, smiling and rubbing his head. "I've hosted every other show, I'll give you guys a chance! Besides, my studio is still a wreck thanks that Robot Chicken attack and me having to fight...uh, Big Dumb Meanie." How did she beat Discord back? Simple, this is noncanon! Power levels don't apply!

Firefly chuckled. "Well, we had a good prank, what else can we do?" she asked, scratching her chin.

Dissy gave it thought and was about to answer...when he got hit in the face with a pie. "What the-"

Celly chuckled. "What goes around comes around!" she chuckled, her and Luna wielding pies in both hooves.

Firefly dodged a pie. "Oh, you want a prank war do you? You're on!"

Pinkie pulled out some theatre seats. "I think I'll just be an audience member this time around, this will be fun!" she stated, producing a bag of popcorn and eating while watching the others prepare for a prank war.
-
Never declare a prank war with a goddess, even a little filly amnesiac goddess who didn't know she was a goddess, IN PARTICULAR a little filly goddess who didn't know she was a goddess who had rules of what she was supposed to and not supposed to do.

FF (Firefly) had found sunlight bending and twisting around corners and under doors to get in her face whenever she tried to take a nap. Her ice-cream (all pegasi loved ice-cream) turning to ice-cream soup within seconds as everyone else's stay fresh, and she swore the sun seemed to ALWAYS be in her eyes when she tried to practice her stunts!
-
Pinkie Pie looked over the list, "Okay, so who is here right? I'm here, while Surprise is back at the regular studio with my friends Twinkle Sparkle, according to the notes, Rainbow Dash as well.

"And here we have Applejack the First, Baby Applejack, Baby Surprise."

"Can I have my mom back now?" Asked the white pegasus.

"I promise we'll switch back as soon as the show ends. Now where was I? Oh right.
Here we have Applejack the First. baby Applejack. Baby Surprise. Firefly. Baby Firefly. Spike from G3. Thistle Whistle from G3. Molly. Danny. Dissy. Celly. Lulu. Star-Reacher (AKA  . . . Gal . . . Lax . . . eee . . . pst, don't tell anyone I said that!). We also have G1 Spike, or one of his family at least. We have Wind Whistler too.  . . . WHAO! Fifteen characters all at once! And that's not counting Twilight, RD, and Surprise back home! That's eighteen No wonder the story isn't moving! We've got character overload! . . . " She took out a megaphone and shouted, "OKAY! EVERYPONY NOT DOING SOMETHING! PLEASE LEAVE THE STUDIO, UH, THE ROOM, RIGHT NOW PLEASE!IT'S GETT HARD FOR THE STORY TO MOVE FORWARD, I MEAN FOR THE CAMERA TO CATCH EVERYTHING!"
-
As the prank war continued, some of the combatants began moving off-stage.

Applejack and Jackie tripped off the stage, and decided to go practice apple bucking together.
-
Pinkie could feel Surprise's daughter still glaring at her. "Is there something I can help you with?" Pinkie asked her.

"I want my momma back." said the young pegasus.

"Look, Baby Surprise..." Pinkie tried to say.

"Please don't call me that. I'm Surprise II." the pegasus answered.

"Look, Surprise II, there's nothing I can do right now. We're going to have to wait until the end of the show. Besides, I'm sure your mom is fine."

Meanwhile in the present:

Twilight was panicking, "If we don't diffuse this bomb quickly then the studio and all of Ponyville could be destroyed!" she yelled.

"I don't which wire to cut!" yelled Surprise, who was also panicking.

Outside, the citizens of Ponyville were not panicking. It was, after all, the fifteenth near destruction of their town that week.

Back in the past:

"Are you sure she's okay?" Surprise II asked.

"Sure I'm sure" said Pinkie, who was a little nervous after having seen the cutaway gag.
-
"So you're from the future." Celly asked.

"So seems like it." Pinkie Pie nodded.

"WHEN DO DISSY AND I GET MARRIED-?!" Celly hopped up and down shouted happily.

Dissy blushed and dug a hole in the floor and head like an ostrich.

"CELLY!" Lulu snapped at her sister.

"Uh . . ." Pinkie Pie paled, "Are you SURE that's something you want to know? I mean, you don't want to ruin the surprise right?"
-
"HEY! A distraction!" Pinkie Pie pointed at Surprise II who was riding unicycle while juggling and playing a song on a kazoo and balancing teacups on her wings.
-
Suddenly, Pinkie her hoof steps. "No! Wait! The author said no more characters!"

Pinkie's cell phone rang and she answered it. "Huh? Oh, I see...so it's just a celebratory cameo? Alright!" She hung up as seven Earth Ponies walked onto the screen.

Twilight blinked in surprise. "Starlight? What are you and the others doing here? You're..."

"Let me guess, you don't know?" asked Firefly with a sarcastic tone.

"Actually, we do," said Starlight smiling. She then looked over to the camera. "The ones watching through this camera have been following our story all this this time."

Patch stepped forwards. "And we felt like we needed to take a moment to say something to them."

Melody joined her. "To close OUR show with style, with a bang, not a whimper."

Bright Eyes was next. "To thank them for staying with us for so long."

Bonbon walked forwards, her diary in her hooves. "For caring enough about our story to read it all from start to finish."

Sweetheart shyly joined them. "For finding our lives, whether during our day to day lives, our dreams, or our nightmares worth reading..."

Clover finally came forwards. "And now it's time for us to take our final bow."

The seven ponies took a bow before the camera as Pinkie started an applause, even if the Paradise Ponies had no idea why, they joined her to be polite.

The seven ponies turned to the Paradise ponies. "And the first time...we never got to say it, so we will now; goodbye for now, our friends...we'll see you again someday..." Starlight said, the other six nodding in agreement, then waving goodbye as they seemed to vanish.

"What...just happened?" asked Shady, cocking her head.

Pinkie smiled. "Nothing you need to worry about..."
-
Pinkie looked at her imaginary watch, "We seem to be running out of tape, so anything anypony wants to do before the show ends?"
-
While cleaning up after a prank war, Dissy wondered why Pinkie seemed to be looking at him so sad. She was from the future, so did she know something he didn't?

Pinkie sighed, she wished she could do something, Dissy seemed really nice. Did he really have to grow up into a big dumb meanie?

To her surprise, a familiar blue box flickered into existence in front of her and an eagle claw pulled her inside. "Discord?"

"Yes, Pinkie, it's me," the Draconequus said, looking out seriously. "My Doctor isn't using this thing right now, so I thought I'd borrow it."

"...Which Discord are you?"

"Dark World, post Heel Face Turn...I kind of want to give mom at least one universe were I don't turn evil," the older Discord explained. "But I need your help, since you're an outside force. I can't alter my own past to create a divergent timeline, but you can!"

"...This is noncanon."

"Exactly! That's WHY you can do this! Look, I just need you to tell Dissy to tell Surprise next time he starts having his nightmares," explained Dark World!Discord, seriously. "According to Rota Fortuna, if he does that then he'll eventually be able beat his evil self and stay good, ok?"

"Uh...ok...So you're a good guy?"

"Yep, looking forwards to it, now can you do this for me?"

"Uh...sure...I guess..."
-
After passing on the message to Dissy about what to do for his nightmares if they ever returned, Pinkie noticed the battery on the camera was running low. "Aww! This was getting fun!"

Twilight The First blinked, looking at her. "What's wrong, Pinkie?"

"We're almost out of tape, we need to wrap everything up!" she admitted, disappointed.

Hearing this, the mother's bid their foals from another time farewell, and Wind Whistler bid her new friend farewell too.

"Are you sure you can't stay, Pinkie?" asked Celly, looking at her. "I feel like I know you..."

Pinkie smiled. "You do...kinda. Long story..." Pinkie looked to the First Age Ponies. "Now, say goodbye everypony!"

"Farewell!"

"See yah later!"

"I do hope you found our performance exhilarating."

"That's Wind Whistler for 'hope you enjoyed the show!'"

Pinkie chuckled. "Alright, time to get back home..." She hit a button on the camera and the guests vanished...but she didn't. "Oh...Oh! I know!" she ran to the TARDIS and Dark World!Discord. "Mind giving me a ride? You DO owe me one!"




"How did this happen?!" asked Twilight, looking at the giant pie that somehow covered townhall.

Surprise and Rainbow merely whistled innocently...until a weird noise happened and a blue police box manifested into existence. "Hey girls!" called Pinkie, hopping out of it.

"Pinkie? Where have you been?!" Twilight asked, looking frazzled.

"The past!"

"...Pardon?"

"The first age, it was fun!"

Surprise blinked. "Oh...I guess I need to go home now, huh?"

Pinkie nodded slowly. "I think, but don't worry! There will be future cameos!"

"Oh! Alright!...What's a cameo?"

"You just show up on the show, happens all the time."

After that, Surprise entered the TARDIS and vanished.

"Pinkie, what the Tartarus just happened?!" asked Twilight. "I had to deal with Rainbow and a Pegasus version of you all day!"

Pinkie chuckled. "Somehow ended up in the past thanks to mana streams...which is weird, considering your brother's story arc just revealed that plot point was possible! And aww! I missed out on the pranks!"

Rainbow looked at the disappointed pink pony. She picked up a piece of the the pie and threw it at Pinkie. "Food fight!"

Pinkie set back up and licked herself off with a giggle. "Oh it's on Dashie!...Oh! Wait a second!"

She turned to the camera. "Alright, we're almost out of tape here! So we'll have to end this now! See you guys next show, which might be soon!"

Pinkie Pie then jumped into the pie and began food fighting with Rainbow.

The TARDIS reappeared next to Twilight. Dark World!Discord poked his head out. "Forgot one thing..." he said, and handed her an apology letter and an autographed copy of Star Swirl the Bearded's autobiography. "Toodles!" The TARDIS vanished again.

"...This was a weird episode! And that's saying a lot!"
Pinkie Pie cheers "Hey everypony! It's that time again! For those of you new here. This is as the title says Pinkie Pie's 4th Wall Breaking Variety show! WHAT YOU WRITE BECOMES THE STORY! You write down a piece of story in the comments and it's copy and pasted into the story until the file size, that little number off the side that says sixty-K! What happens in here stays in here!
Now remember the rules everypony!


1. What you put in the comments appears in the story.
2. Nopony besides me can see beyond the fourth wall.
3. The camera can’t leave the studio.
4. The characters can be from any generation, toy or comic but they have to be from official “My little Pony”, and everypony STAYS in character!
5. Everything that happens here is non-canon.
6. Have fun."

New Part Added:
eric-emanwu
Kendell2
ItsFromPeople (at once)
Sherlock-Holmes18 (at once)
Dragon-of-Twilght (at once)
Kendell2
Sherlock-Holmes18
Alex Warlorn (me)
Dragon-of-Twilght (At the same time)
ItsFromPeople (At the same time)
Sherlock-Holmes18
Kendell2 (his third post this episode)
eric-emanwu (and a fun one too!)
mtangalion
Ardashir (same time)
ItsFromPeople (same time)
Kendell2
Alex Warlorn (me again)
Alex Warlorn (me again and again)
eric-emanwu (another of his)
Sherlock-Holmes18 (here for more)
Alex Warlorn (and me again)
Alex Warlorn
Kendell2
Alex Warlorn
Kendell2
Kedell2 (And goodnight)

Oh yeah, andMyLittlePonyiscopyrighttoHasbro, pleasesupportthecartoonbybuyingthe toystheshowismadetopromoteanyway."


Preview image by Kendell2

20130708 Edits by LZ.
© 2013 - 2024 alexwarlorn
Comments180
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ItsfromPeople's avatar
:star::star::star::star::star: Overall
:star::star::star::star::star: Vision
:star::star::star::star::star: Originality
:star::star::star::star::star: Technique
:star::star::star::star::star: Impact

Oh! It’s you. Have you a few fully charged fourth wall batteries around somewhere? Charging up this back-up camera takes FOR-EVER! And it all started so harmless. I was just doing a nice introduction to my Fourth-Wall-Breaking Variety Show, explained Da Rules and was sure that the nice shadows will give us some quirky, character-driven, staying-in-character comedy, like they always do. And then a giant robot chicken broke into my studio! That always happens! No, I mean not the robot chicken… last time I said something like this my Nightmare self took over the show. Maybe I should be more Genre Savvy the next time. Would the robot chicken have just waited outside to enter until the situation is the most ironic?

Well… I and the giant robot chicken… yeah you don’t often get to say that line… had a few minor differences of how the show should be. I wanted everybody to have fun, both shadows and my friends while the giant robot chicken us to be either morons, monsters or moronic monsters. I guess monstrous morons would also be an option for it. Clucky claimed that ONLY this stuff is popular with the shadows and it is the easiest way to get their attention but I will not go down without a fight. I am sick of all this depressing unending monotone darkness. So I gave the second biggest robot chicken I had ever seen one last warning but Clucky wasn’t interested so there was only one way to put our creative differences aside.

MORTAL COMBAT! FIGHT!

I need to thank Dashie later for showing me how to beat all these giant robots in Metal Gear Pony. At first the giant robot chicken tried to crush me but my speedy dodge movements were super effective. Then it distracted me with a barrage of rotten eggs and squashed me flat while I was busy dodging them. So this was clearly not a turn-based battle. Unfortunately my snarky comments were no match for its laser eyes. As the robot chicken unleashed its next attack I took one of its metal feathers to fight back. Did you notice in how many boss battles you need to use the attacks of the boss against it?

But references aside I was completely serious. I would not bow down to all these depressing stories that cause the shadows to endlessly write fix fics to feel better afterwards. I charged forward, deflected another laser and used slow motion to take out of its legs. I will not allow it to turn this into a pure dark fic that will only hurt us and those who read it. With another fast dodge and strike I took down one of its wings. It tried to use its laser eyes again and it really hurt… the robot chicken since I sidestepped the blast while the robot was hit. Now it was time for the dramatic finisher. Unleash the Party Cannon L118 Happy Howitzer MK II! The blast obliterated the chicken’s head and much of the studio. But the headless robot tried to slice me in two.

I really need to thank Dashie later for showing me all these boss battles that try to fake you out. So a pink piñata took the attack for me. I heard that ninjas can talk logs into taking attacks for them.

FINISH HIM!

And with one final party grenade I took down the evil giant robot chicken once and for all! I thought that the What If Machine could cheer me up again. Then again it was either hit or miss so far with that machine but it was definitely less mean-spirited then the giant robot chicken. In the first vision everypony is getting robotocized, including Prince Celestia, AJ, the CMC and Dashie. But at least the CMC and Dashie get to keep their characters and AJ… well she at least still has her accent.
In the next vision we see a world that seems to be a reference to one of the more unknown parts of the Ponysona Series. So don’t expect anypony to walk into a TV here or to make unbearable puns. Starlight, Lancer, Patch, Bright Eyes and Sweetheart fight against the Masked Herd who steal the energy hopes and dreams by making them come true. I guess the Ponysonas could be based on the Alicorns or Draconequi… then again Discord would also make a good Nyarlathotep, it is known as the Crawling Chaos after all. But back to the vision: Clover and Bonbon fell under the influence of the Masked Herd and this really could have been its own series.

Then Scoots finds a magic reality remote that has the side effect of making everypony else think that it was always like the changes you made to reality. After giving herself huge wings the Pegasus believes that this remote can make all of her dreams come true. The next day she uses it to make Diamond Tiara’s family loose their entire fortune. Only after mocking the now poor filly for the entire day does she realise that Diamond’s entire history changed, she even has a new name and she never became a bully. Now Scoots is the bully with a reality altering remote and no idea how far the consequences can go and who knows what has changed as well because of these actions.

So What If Machine, is there anything else depressing you have ready for me? Oh! In one world Nightmare Granfalloon was purified and became Princess Thalia, according to ponypedia named after the muse of comedy and idyllic poetry. This is getting good! Maybe I can write down a few songs from her. That was when Twilight noticed that the studio got kinda somewhat completely wrecked and as I turned around, I knocked the camera into another dimension. It can happen! Surely the leylines are behind this. I am not clumsy after all and I sat through an entire long lecture of time and space to prove it. Yes, Twilight suddenly got one of her boxes. Where do they come from? Now that is actually a funny story, you see…

Can I test the batteries for the backup camera on the critique? Thanks… Well they reach five of five in all four categories. I guess they are recharged again. The first camera? Oh, right! It flew through time and space, past the intro of Doctor Hooves and to Surprise the Pegasus. She is now hosting the Little Ponies Variety show and I am sure that you shadows can help her out in Generation 1. And have fun while they have fun!