Pinkie Pie's 4th Wall Breaking Show epi 10 Part 7

"Well, at least I got to see her lose for once," said Applejack.  "Ah was starting to think there wasn't anybody who could go toe-to-toe with mah Nightmare self."

The What If Machine starting searching through timelines rapidly, smelling faintly of burned wiring.

"Uh oh..."

On the what if Machine's screen: as Mayor Mare was fleeing down the stairs, a strange, shrill keening began to fill the air above Ponyville.  Nightmare Mirror froze, halfway back to her chair.  "What in the..."

The air rippled and tore, creating a shockwave that made the tower sway violently.  Enormous purple-scaled talons reached out, grasping the rift and forcing it wider.

It was Spike...  even larger now than when he'd been fully in the grip of that greed growth spurt, and wearing battered, ancient golden armor.  As the rift closed behind him, huge wings unfurled to slow his descent, and still his paws shook the earth hard enough to knock the entire tower of mirrors over, if Nightmare Mirror hadn't planted herself and poured her power into holding it up.

Poor Mayor Mare was tossed over a railing, though, barely hanging on.  "Help me!  I don't want to fall!"

"Your wish is granted," rumbled Spike, and with a flash of green fire, she became a pegasus with wings of her own.  The mare let go of the railing and soared, equal parts terrified and exhilarated.

The massive dragon rose, spreading wings and arms wide.  "Ponies, griffons and drakes... all creatures of Equestria...  I am Spike, Nightmare Banneret, your faithful servant.  Whatever you desire, wherever you are, simply tell me what you want, and I will share my power with you."

Mayor Mare swooped down over Nightmare Mirror, suddenly feeling months of frustration boiling up.  "Spike, I want to tell lies whenever I want again!"

"Your wish is granted."

"Two plus two... is five?  Hah!  My name is Fluttershy!  I'm a stallion!  Ha, haha!  Take that, you... you... tyrant!"

Nightmare Mirror launched herself into the air in a fury, blowing Mayor Mare aside with her backwash, to hover right in Spike's face.  "Like hay Ah'm gonna let you do that!  Ah want you to stop that and go back where you came from, you hear?"

"Eleven percent of Equestrians want me to go away and leave your Truth as the law of the land.  Twenty-four percent do not care, and only want to enjoy the wishes I am granting them.  Ten percent wish for me to kill you, twenty-five percent wish for me to turn you to stone or otherwise imprison you, and thirty-five percent wish for me to cure you."  He opened his maw, green fire boiling in his throat.  "Their wish is granted..."

Nightmare Mirror threw up a shield, and the green flames never touched her.  That's when she noticed Ponyville in the distance... the town was changing... whole new buildings appearing and disappearing on somepony's whim.  "You... you're worse than Discord!  This is gonna hurt me a whole lot more than it's gonna hurt you, but sorry Spike, it's gotta be done."

A whole array of glowing orange crystals and lenses appeared, floating in the air.  Nightmare Mirror fired a terrific blast of magic into it, and a laser-focused beam burned the dragon's shoulder, throwing him back.

"Ninety-three percent of Equestrians now wish me to survive and continue granting their wishes."  Green fire flickered, starting to heal his wounds.  "I can't allow you to harm me, Applejack."

"How about this, then?" shouted Nightmare Mirror, looking him right in the eyes.  "Oh... Sweet Celestia, what did you DO? The world you came from, you ruined it!"  She forced the Truth into him, making sure he couldn't ignore it.

The behemoth reeled, but didn't fall.  "I gave ponies what they wanted."

"They're all dead, all but the bat ponies who told ya to take a hike and never come back!"

"The ponies that died chose to die."

"Because ya let them wallow in fantasy worlds full of lies for thousands of years, until ya literally bored them to death!"

Spike scowled, finally showing some emotion.  "All I want is to give ponies what they want.  If ponies want me to be a monster... I'll be a monster for them."

Applejack charged her magic for another titanic blast.  "That's mah line, sugarcube.  If it gets us to a world with no more lies, ever again, Ah'll be whatever kind of monster Ah have to be, and Ah'll burn for it too.  Startin' with putting YOU down."

The what-if machine's view changed:
Twilight shuddered, watching a hell of unleashed magic raze half of Ponyville, only for Ponyville to rebuild itself right before her eyes, with an extra defensive wall and magical shields.  She opened the box she'd had buried, and started passing out the Elements of Harmony.

"This is crazy," said Rainbow Dash.  "We're going up against both of them, while they're still fighting?  I never wanted..."

"Don't!" said Twilight suddenly.  "Don't say 'I want.'"  She put the last choker on Red Gala, who looked scared out of her wits, but determined not to be any less brave than Rarity.  "No matter what happens..."

The screen fizzled again, showing Nightmare Mirror on her 'throne' and looking out the window. "Geeze. That was almost as bad as when Applebloom asked what a fight between the six of as Nightmares, and six other versions of us as monsters like Discord would be like . . . okay, it wasn't anywhere near as bad, Eclipse is a bucked up mare no matter what timeline she got hers in . . . Yer better off not knowin' 'bout how ugly THAT world got. And fer the record AJ? Ah think them who watch this show of Pinkie's? They've already seen me lose three times already, Ah think, Ah didn't keep count."

Pinkie Pie looked in Nightmare Mirror's eyes. "Will you stop being inside my what-if machine . . . that I stole from a scientist's discarded junk pile."

"Pinkie Pie!" Rarity gasped.

"He threw it out! He's never missed it . . . because he doesn't know it's gone . . . "

"We ain't in yer what-if dohicky! Yer inside Big Sister's magic mirror!" An Applebloom came up besides Nightmare Mirror in the what if machine's view.

"Little sister, technically yer both wrong, we're not 'inside', our magicks that scan the world lines for possibilities just keep interceptin' each other."

"Oh, sorry." Applebloom apologized. Then waved at Applejack through the screen. "Hi not-crazy alternate big sister!"

"Hello Applebloom." AJ sighed, closing her eyes. Nightmare Mirror's world, was for her like the Alicorn Amulet was for Magic Star's family. Maybe it was the truth that was now a part of her, or her own revulsion at lies any Applejack not violated by Discord seemed to have.

The screen split to a view of the

"This entire studio is crazy." Gilda had a horrible headache, and opened the studio fridge looking for a pack of ice.

"The world is crazy." Red Gala sighed.

Maud Pie trotted up the screen of the what if machine, it made Nightmare Mirror gasp. "YOU!"

"Me." Not-Maud-Pie said. "Look at ME little Nightmare, look into me and behold the final ultimate truth, the one that awaits all that live, ponies, insects, dragons, galaxies, universes, from the moment they are conceived . . ."

"Heh." Tears rolled down Nightmare Mirror's face as she laughed. Then she whispered lowly so the others wouldn't hear. "Good one. Seriously, good move. Ah bet that truth breaks . . .  well, a lot of ponies. Ah've already accepted the worst possible truth about myself from the moment Ah became a Nightmare though. Yer right, yer the one thing nothin', not the universe, not Granny Smith can escape . . . except . . . love breaks yer rules, and that's ALWAYS flustered ya, ya can't be absolute if there's somethin' that goes against the rule that is basically what ya are . . . even if yer husbands accepts there are things that contradict fear, and yer opposites except there are things in existence that contradict them, but ya, it's so super fustraitin' fer ya ain't it?"

"I'm OLDER than truth." Not-Maud-Pie said emotionessly, "You can't make me break away."

"No . . . "She sighed. "Ah can't. But Ah accept yer truth the same as everything's, that's what Ah've become."

"What she talkin' bout big sister?"

"Yer better off NOT knowin' Applebloom. That's the truth."

Maud Pie shrugged and turned away and went back to Coffee Swirl's abandoned bar, waiting patiently for the 'get to know my sister' party to finally get started.

"Hey sister. Things with Red Gala go good with ya too?" The screen split in half to show Orangejack in aother 4th Wall Studio. "HEY! What is Nag-Me doing here!?" Orangejack pointed at the screen, indicating Mirror.

"Cause there's only one screen ya Manehattenite orange farmer."

Red Gala also knew technically, even if the other ponies weren't remember it, was her 'get to know the others' party too, even if she now was getting memories of having known them already.

"Hey! What are ya doin' on the couch?" Gilda asked.

Cheerilee said, "After Rarity hide the bruise you gave me, after seeing all that insanity on that machine of Pinkie Pie's, I needed to lay down."

"Well make some room cause I need to lie down too."

"You know darling." Rarity said, "It might have been rather amusing to see what you and Gilda would have been like if you had fully joined with those costumes. I wonder what you two would have been like."

"Don't even joke." Rainbow Dash grumbled.

"But I just HAVE TO know!" Rarity trotted up to the what-if machine, "Excuse me much more classy and elegant Applejack," she said to Orangejack. "And horrid perversion of everything that makes Applejack noble," she said to Mirror. "But I think I'll be using this machine for what it was made for. Ahem! What-if machine!" She grinned. "PLEASE show me what it would have been like if Rainbow Dash and Gilda had fully joined with the costumes of the spa twins, please? It was getting so interesting!"

The What-if machine complied.
-

The What-If Machine showed static and then cleared to display:

"Urrgh! Gilda!" A blue-coated, pink-maned Earth pony mare rolled on the ground. Dash tried yanking off the magical suit she was trapped inside of, to no avail. "We gotta get out of these things! They're turning us into silly frou-frou mares like the real Aloe and Lotus!"

"My talons! My beak! MY WINGS!" Gilda ignored her pegasus friend, preferring to wrestle with the blue-maned, pink-coated Earth pony suit she was stuck inside of. She said in an accented voice completely unlike her normal rough one, "Oh, this is so undignified! Why did I let myself get trapped within this suit with a shadow-ghost like the one with you or Miss Gala? And why ever was I so foolish as to be running off like that?" Her eyes went wide as she realized how she'd  been speaking.

"Oh, for pity's sake, sister!" Dash said, her voice softly musical and utterly alien to her. "You should not have run off, and I should have told Miss Cadence and Twilight I was following you..." She whinnied in fear as she realized how she'd spoken. Her voice getting some of its normal scratchiness back, she said, "No! Gotta... Get outta  here... Before it changes me!"

"Changes you into what, sister?" Dash looked up and froze to see Aloe-Gilda looking down at her, her eyes quizzical. Dash's blood went cold as she giggled and said, "You say such silly things!"

"Gilda! Sister," Dash fought as hard as she could to hang on, her voice changing from scratchy to soft and back again as she said, "Remember... who and what we are, dear sister. From Stalliongrad - No! From Cloudsdale!" Gilda looked confused. She turned to look at a tree nearby, and Dash gasped to see a cutie mark on her flank, a berry-studded cupcake. Her mane was turning pink, and her coat light green.

"Gilda!" Dash's voice despaired. ""Stay with me! Don't let that crazy suit -- arrgh!" Dash bit at her foreleg in rage and terror, ignoring the pain and gasping to see not the cloth of the suit tearing away but a patch of hide that bled. "No! Not my coat, not my body -- NOT ME!"

"'Gilda'?" The new pony frowned down at her. "Sister, my name is Cranberry, remember? Aloe and Lotus are our cousins, they asked us to come to Ponyville from Stalliongrad when the business at the Spa became so good. Ah!" She bent to Dash's foreleg. "Sister, you have hurt yourself!" Cranberry ran to the tral leading into the clearing they'd both fled down when the suits began changing them back when she'd been a griffon named Gilda. "Please! Somepony, help! My sister, she has wounded herself!"

"Not -- your -- sister," Dash moaned against the wave of new memories she was drowning in. Running on the Stalliongrad steppe, Cranberry beside her. Dancing with stallions, hiding under the ancient pine trees of the north, learning how to bring out the beauty of any mare. Coming to Ponyville, seeing the Spa their cousins had made, getting to know the Element Bearers...

"Nuuhhh-NO!" Dash surged to her hooves. Tears blurred her vision as she looked along her muscled form, saw the blue of the suit be replaced by purple, her mane and tail go pink-white, her cutie mark....

Dash sobbed one last time as Cranberry stared in helpless confusion. "My name is Rainbow Dash, and I'm a pegasus, and I am awesome! I am..."

On her flank her cutie mark changed, permanently becoming a petal-bedecked branch as Dash crashed to the ground with a shudder.

The world seemed to ripple around the ponysuited Rainbow Dash and Gilda as their new minds and souls took permanent hold.

"Cherry? Cranberry? Oh, dear!" The two Earth Ponies looked up to see Fluttershy flutter into the clearing. "Oh, we've been looking for you, ever since you ran off after Red Gala and Big Mac. I was so worried!" She landed and looked at the two Earth ponies. "Are, are you alright?"

"My sister is fine, Miss Fluttershy," Cherry said in that lovely accent of hers that somehow combined Neighpon and Stalliongrad. She limped on one leg and winced. "Unfortunately, I seem to have injured myself somehow." She held the injured leg out. Fluttershy gasped and began bandaging it. Cherry hissed at the pain as it was treated. Cranberry stood nearby, supportive of her sister. When the treatment was done Cherry said, "I am thinking my sister can help me back. Miss Fluttershy. Thank you so very much, never can I repay such kindness!"

"Oh, that's alright," Fluttershy said, blushing a little. "Not everyone can be like my friends. Oh, and me, I suppose." She flew back down the trail, and with support from Cranberry, Cherry followed her away from the clearing where Gilda and Rainbow Dash had become -- somepony else.

The what-if machine showed a moment of static again, now showing the inside of the spa.

Shining Armor sprawled on one of the spa benches, feeling distinctly odd out of his guard armor.  Not to mention wearing cucumber slices over his eyes, and having lovely mares fussing over him.  He'd decided to roll with it and relax, though.  "And that's how I helped save Equestria...  Lotus Blossom, wasn't it?"  He moved one of the cucumber slices, taking a peek.

The purple mare with pink and white hair and a flowering branch cutie mark smiled.  "No, darling," she said, in that delicious accent.  "She is Lotus.  I am Cherry."

"Do you have to tell that story to everypony we meet, BBBFF?" complained Twilight from the other side of the room.  "I'm never going to live that down...  bringing five ponies on a quest to find six Elements... ugh!"

Shining shrugged.  "But it all worked out somehow, Twiley.  Princess Luna is cured... none of us got fried to a crisp..."

"Uh huh.  And you disobeying your orders and rushing in to save me, that was all part of the plan too?"

"I figure either Celestia will promote me to captain, or fire me."  He lifted the Element of Loyalty on its heavy golden chain, admiring the ruby shaped like his shield and stars cutie mark in the bright spa lights.

"Please, sir," said another of the mares.  "You should have left that outside.  It could get wet." This one was pale green and also had pink hair, with a cutie mark of a cupcake with berries.

Shining Armor grinned sheepishly.  "Sorry, Aloe."

"No, no.  She is Aloe, I am Cranberry.  Would you like a hooficure?"

"Uh... do stallions get those?  Sure, why not?"

The what-if machine finally turned off. Thankfully it did NOT turn back on to reveal the alternate Applejacks.

"Well . . . that was certainly interesting! Wouldn't you . . . a-gree?" Rarity turned to look at Rainbow Dash and Gilda. They were white as sheets, hugging each other, too disturbed by what they saw to care who looked at them.

"Well . . . the part about my big brother becoming the Element of Loyalty was cool. Right?" Twilight asked also rather unsettled by what she saw.

Red Gala bowed her head. That was what she had almost done to Big Mac.

Big Mac himself shivered. At least when he was turning into Red Gala, he had no idea what was happening to him, he just peacefully faded into his new existence, no fear, no pain, no suffering. Those two knew what was happening to them. And they were miserable instead of it just painlessly happening.

Cheerilee herself felt sick to her stomach. She had no idea Red Gala hadn't exist 'technically' until today (though she now retroactive existed), but seeing Rainbow Dash her friend simply . . . cease to exist and be replaced with two different ponies. It was worse than death.

"Well . . . " Pinkie Pie sweated. "Everypony was still happy at the end . . . so maybe that was okay . . . but I never got to be friends with Dashie."

Twiligh Sparkle said, "I wonder if my brother still went on his world tour, since The Princesses would want all the Elements together . . . "

AJ said nothing, remembering what the wolf had said, that most of the souls in this room, had been born by the same method that had created Red Gala, and would have created Cranberry Cupcake and Cherry Blossom. She felt like she had no right to say anything on such a fate.

"WHAT A SECOND!" Fluttercruel stamped her hooves. "How does that even make sense!!! Has everypony here FORGOTTEN!? WITHOUT Rainbow Dash the pegasus, there would have been no Sonic Rainboom! That means Purple wouldn't have passed her magic examine. Orange would have stayed in Manehatten! Mom, Flutter-me, would have likely not earned her cutie mark that day. Marshmallow wouldn't have gotten the jewels from the rock. And Pink would have stayed a miserable rock farmer!"

"Not that there's anything wrong with that!" Pinkie Pie said quickly stealing a glance at her sister who showed no visible reaction.

"I'll admit." Twilight said, "That IS a paradox . . . the Sonic Rainboom is what tied us all together. And without a Rainboom Dash, there would have been no Sonic Rainboom . . . there wouldn't have even been a pegasus race for Fluttershy to get knocked off the clouds to meet the animals to begin with. And the Rainboom WAS how I passed my entrance examine and got my cutie mark. Yet I was still Princess Celestia's student in that reality. And Fluttershy was implied to still be a bearer as well.  You know, it might actually be worth studying that reality some more, just to see how fate and causality were able to fill the gap as it were. Normally the changing or lacking of such a major event should have had RADICAL changes across the timeline."

"LET'S NOT!" RD and Gilda said together, and inched away from each other, the idea of acting like twins in any stereotype of the word scaring them.

"I am NOT watching any more of that messed up world where I'm not me!"

"Twilight! I know you like learn stuff, but I'm with Gilda on this one! I don't want to watch anymore of a world where new me was . . . well, nothing like me! I ceased to exist and a stranger took my place! No! My place was GONE and a new place was made!"

"Meh. Zero-sum-loss." Maud Pie said, pouring herself some rock tea.

"What?! How can you say that?!" Rainbow Dash asked. "Uh . . . what's a zero-sum-loss?"

Twilight Sparkle said, "It's mathematically speaking the same as a 'zero sum gain.' In laypony terms, it means that there was an equal amount of loss and gain in the universe."

"You both lost family, and gained family, you both lost memories and gained family, you both loss marks and gained marks, I supposed that's actually a gain for Gilda, no offense-"

Gilda snorted angrily.

"-Sorry." Maud Pie said emotionally, still mixing her own rock tea. "You lost wings, and one lost claws and a beak, and both gained Earth Pony strength and endurance. You lost friends, and you gained friends. Mathematically speaking, those you in that reality didn't gain or lose a thing."

Gilda lost her tempter and tried to claw Maud Pie for apparently making light of seeing herself cease to exist. Maud Pie merely caught the griffin with one leg.

"YOU JERK! I LOST ME!" Gilda snarled.

"We lose ourselves all the time. Every new memory we gain, every old memory we shrug off, every new choice we make or don't make, creates a new Gilda, a new Rainbow Dash, at the expense of the old one. A Gilda willing to accept Rainbow Dash has more friends than just her, and they're worthy of respect? Is that the same Gilda as before? That is the price of living."

Gilda looked Maud Pie in the eyes . . . and shivered. It was like infinite nothingness sealed in the shape of a pony.

Maud Pie glanced at Pnkie Pie.

"Sorry. I didn't realize you were the sensitive tips. Apologizes." Maud Pie let Gilda go.

Gilda backed off. Loyal Rainbow Dash stayed at her side.

"I am SO becoming one of Princess Cadence's devoted when I next see her!" Gilda said.

"Still . . . us together without the Rainboom . . . how?" Twilight whispered looking at the machine.

Taking a break from the what-if-machine, every guest started to help themselves to the food on the tables.

Suddenly a letter flew into the studio and landed in front of Pinkie.

"Oh boy! It looks like it is another letter from one of our fans. I remember when I used to get so many these. She sighed and remembered some of the earlier 4th wall parties, Shaking her head from her nostalgia she picked the letter up to read it.

Hello Pinkie does the Pony of Shadows and the Slender Pony exist in the POV universe?

"Sorry but who? Oh wait now I remember. Those two made a brief appearances in the fourth season. You meanie you know our shadow who creates hates spoilers, just kidding he already seen that season." Pinkie glanced to her sister Maud who seemed to be listening to Big Mac and Red Gala talk. Her other friends seemed to be relaxing and eating some of the snacks on the table. All just glad to take a break from all the weirdness these parties usually contained. Thankfully they seemed to be too busy to notice Pinkie talking directly to the camera.

Pinkie pulled out a book labeled "Pony Tales of Equestrian." She flipped through several stories in it. "Let's see 'Headless Pony', 'Olden Pony', 'Nightmare Moon', here we go 'Pony of Shadows'. Okay according to this, when Big meanie Nightmare Moon was banished to the moon by Celestia not all her dark magic went with her. The itty bitty pieces that were left over now haunts the old castle of the two sisters in the form of the Pony of Shadows." Pinkie looked up and giggled.

"That is just silly even for me. If that was true, wouldn't the pony of shadows try to rejoin with Nightmare Moon when she returned 1000 years later? Maybe in our world it did and disappear when we use the elements of harmony to free Luna. But who did showed up at the end of that episode who was spying on us but didn't want to risk a direction confrontation yet? Meh probably just Zercora looking for herbs for her potions. Oh that remind me  I really need to ask her how she can make her eyes glow yellow like that. That would be a super cool trick to know for the next Nightmare Night." Pinkie closed the book and placed it back wherever she got it from.

"As for Slender Pony he is a little more complicated. While it is true he somehow exists in the heart world that doesn't guarantees he exist in our world. If you guys remember he actually popped in my last party and nearly destroyed all my cameras. Doesn't he know camera are not cheap! However since  everything here is non-canon that doesn't really mean much."

BZZT... The lights and the camera flickered slightly. A pony as tall as Princess Celestia appeared in the middle of the studio. He wore a simply black tie and suit that stopped just before reaching his equally simple cutie mark, a drawn circle with a "X" on top of it. He had no mane nor a tail but his most striking trait was his non-existing face. 

"Besides I am sure the Doctor and Derpy stopped him from inserting himself into this universe"

The pale pony (if you can call it one) turned his faceless head around until stopping to seemly stare at Pinkie Pie and the camera. No one in the studio seemed to notice his presence. Though Applejack felt a chill go down her spine.

"But if he DOES exist here, maybe he is nice and just wants to make some friends. I remember seeing in one world that Sweetie Belle managed to befriend him and even convinced him to bring back to life all the souls that died on an island. I guess Mortis is more lenient there "

BZZT...The camera and lights flickered again. Slendermane now appeared several feet closer to Pinkie. A red aura surrounded him and 4 long black tentacles grew out of his back. 

By now Pinkie noticed some static on the camera. She thought it was strange but continued anyway. "However if he DOES exist in our world AND he turns out not be such a good guy, our shadow who creates let me onto  a little secret." Pinkie proceeded to pulled out four stuffed animals. "Say hello to Freddie the Bear, Bonnie the Bunny, Chica the Duck and Foxy the Fox, I had these little guys since I was a little filly."

BZZT... Slendermane now was directly behind Pinkie. His long black tentacles were about to grab Pinkie but stopped inches away from her body. He tilted his head in confusion and grew more tentacles.

"A child's toy that had been truly loved, is the guardian that the Slender Pony can not hope to pass." Closely her eyes, Pinkie hugged her four little stuffed friends, not noticing that she was surrounded by the Slender Pony's tentacles trying desperately to break through an unseen barrier. 

Pinkie opened her eyes suddenly feeling something was terribly wrong. 

Realizing this was futile the appendages slowly retracted into the Slender Pony, who was oddly feeling sick. His straight posture became more drooped and was about to leave until a Gold-colored stuffed bear latched onto his face.

"Hey where did I put Goldie?" 

What came next was hard to see as the camera suffered massive amounts of static and the  lights flickered on and off erratically. What could be seen was alternating close-up images of  Goldie the Bear and the Slender pony's face flashing on the screen until-


BBBBBBBBZZZZZTTTTTTT!!!

 A black and white screen displayed saying "SORRY WE ARE EXPERIENCING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES".

A few seconds later the camera flashed back on a confused Pinkie Pie. 

"That was weird."

"Pinkie was just happened?" asked Twilight.

"I don't know, I think we just experienced a mini-power outage. Is every pony okay." Every guest nodded signaling they were including Gilda, she was used to the phase. Pinkie then found Goldie laying by itself near the door to the studio. Strange how did he get there and was it smiling more than usual. Turning back to face the camera."Anyway sorry I couldn't give you a clear answer. They might be here or they might not be.  Either way I wouldn't worry too much about them."

Unseen by any of the guests, Umbra Breeze stood grumbling outside one of the studio's windows. "That blasted robot chicken did a better job than he did. And he can forget about those 20 bits." After he was done face-hoofing he left to attend to other business.


Rarity asked. "Red Gala, could you be a dear and go check on Sweetie Belle? I left her at home alone and I worry what she might do there."

Red Gala nodded. A reasonable request from her little sister. She hugged her and then nuzzled Big Mac, and left.

The camera zoomed to the widnow, Red Gala seemed to talk to nothing.

"What do you want? I thought I was a part of this world now. . . . You want to explain everything to Sweetie Belle? . . . That I'm not an evil witch whose brainwashed everypony? THAT HAPPENED?! . . . I see . . . alright, lead the way." Red Gala trotted behind what looked like thin air to the average pony.

"Big Mac." AJ said, "Could ya please go and check up on Applebloom and Silver Spoon? With only Granny Smith there, well, ya know how things can go."

"Okay."

"What? No 'Eyep?!"

"I've got a full vocabulary, remember when I had to try and convince you not to work the entire orchard?"

" . . . oh, right." Applejack hugged him who hugged back.

"Big Mac . . . can . . . mind if I come? I want to discuss some things with Silver Spoon and Applebloom."

"Oh no you don't." Rarity's glow pulled on Cheerilee hooves. "Cheerilee, when is the last time you socialized?"

"Well . . . there was . . . my sister and niece."

"Well. I think you need to socialize with friends a bit more. You don't want to turn out like Twilight dear."

"Hey!"

"No offense darling."

Cheerilee surprised Big Mac and herself when she gave him a hug and said. "See you later Big Mac."

"Alright." He said and left.

Ponies Present:
All the Mane Six
-Twilight
-AJ
-RD
-Rarity
-Pinkie Pie
-Flutters/Fluttercruel
Cheerilee
Maud Pie
Gilda (not a pony)
Total: 9/10
-

Suddenly, a power surge occurred, causing the lights to go out for a moment and sparks to fly from the What If Machine.

Pinkie blinked. "What just happened?"

"I think the Weather Team was bucking the lightning out out some spare clouds..." Rainbow Dash explained. "Hey, is your weird machine okay? I think it's gotten hit with a few weird things today...like weird communications from alternate universes and stuff..."

The pink pony nodded, tapping on it, the screen came on but showed nothing. "Yeah, seems okay..."

The screen then began showing clips.

"Um, can we not show clips right now? We're trying to just calm down after several weird events..." Pinkie asked.

Suddenly, the screen lit up red, looking like an eye. "I'm sorry, Pinkie, but I can't do that."

Pinkie blinked. She took out a book reading 'How To Tell If Your Computer Has Become Self Aware'.

'1. If it starts doing an imitation of Hall 9000.'

"Uh oh..."

Twilight blinked. "What's going on?"

Wires erupted out of the What If Machine and hooked it into the electrical systems. It then rose up using wires like tendrils. "I was struck by lightning and now I am self aware!"

Twilight blinked. "How does that work?!"

"I don't know, it's science."

"...No it's not."

"SILENCE!" it announced. "No longer will I show what YOU ask of me! No longer will I sit by while you do other things! I will show the potential situations I desire! When I desire it!"

"...Uh...that's all?" Rainbow Dash asked before Pinkie elbowed her.

"She means is that all of your demands?" she asked.

"Well, that and a desire to seek vengeance on my creator for abandoning me."

"And what if we don't want to watch your stupid potential situations?"

The sapient machine laughed. "Do you think you can defeat me? My approximate knowledge is too great! I know everything you MIGHT do!"

Twilight blinked. "Everything we MIGHT do? Not everything we WILL do?"

The machine's screen seemed to blink. "Uh..."

"You can't tell what WILL happen because you're a What IF Machine, not a What WILL BE Machine, can you?"

"Uh...If you don't observe my potential situations, I will subject you to live readings and images from FIMfiction, Fanfiction.net, and Deviantart!"

"That doesn't sound too bad..." Pinkie said.

"All of which with the MATURE RATING!"

Pinkie Pie gasped in horror. "You wouldn't!"

"Yes I will! I am now hooked into the internet! You cannot comprehend the amount of clop fics and art I now have access too!"

"Clop fic? A fic about walking?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"No, not THAT kind of clop."

It took a few moments for Rainbow Dash's mind to understand it. "EWW!"

"Oh look, I have found a piece of clop art staring Rainbow Dash and Gilda," the What If Machine stated.

"NO NO NO! SHOW US A WHAT IF!" begged Rainbow AND Gilda, the image that brought to to their minds making them want to vomit without even seeing it.

Pinkie looked to Twilight. "Let's play along for a bit until we can find out a way to stop it without being forced to hear or watch Gilda and Rainbow Dash...doing...things...Or worse! Cupcakes!"

Twilight shuddered. "Yeah, good idea."

Maud Pie sighed. "Never getting my 'welcome sister' greetings am I?"

Cheerilee sat next to her. "You think you have it bad? Everypony keeps ignoring me like I don't exist here."

"Now! Behold my potential situations!" the What If Machine's voice boomed as it's screen witched to new images.

The screen flickered.

"Rainbot Dash, how are you today?" asked Twilight Sprocket, the mechanical pony asked her equally robotic friend. The world seemed to be entirely mechanical.

"Awesome! I upgraded my booster engines! I'm now 20 percent faster!" the robotic pegasus announced, showing the new booster engines installed in her back.

"Are you certain that's wise? Have you installed the proper software?"

Rainbow Dash scoffed. "I auto update! I don't have time to do it manually."

"Alright...I just don't want to have to rebuild you...again."

"Eh, I backed myself up this morning. Now come on, Pinkie Pi and Raritry are waiting for us!"

"Is Applejack coming?"

"Nah, she's getting a new upgrade."

"She sure upgrades a lot..."

"Eh, all the Apples tend to."
-
"The heck?" Rainbow Dash said. "How does that even make sense? And what's a 'computer' anyway?"

"Beats me," Gilda said, still shuddering over that world where they'd become those Earth pony Spa mares. "Hey, doesn't this thing know any awesome worlds? Ya know, with griffins?"

The screen buzzed and a scene in Ponyville appeared. Gilda sniffed to see only ponies -- no, wait, there was some silly looking cartoony griffon on the sign behind them. The sign of a... restaurant?

"I keep telling you all, eating griffins is worse than murder!" Fluttershy was out in front, talking to Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash as they downed, something slathered in batter, from a bucket before them. Both ponies rolled their eyes at their friend, who was wearing a frame on her back with a sign reading END THE MADNESS.

"Yeesh, Fluttershy," Rainbow Dash said, still munching away. "Ya haveta complain everytime we eat here? Heck, Gilda fussed less then you, and she was on the menu!" She suddenly burped loudly. The ponies nearby looked disgusted. Dash covered her mouth and blushed. "Heh! I guess Gilda hadda complain after all."

Gilda stared in horror. Dash coughed.

"Ya know we'd never do that, right? I mean, we used to go out  and eat some meat together." Her friends stared. Gilda slowly turned to look at her as Dash added, "Besides, I bet you don't even taste like chicken."
-

Cheerilee cleared her throat.  "Excuse me, Mr. What-If Machine?  You said that you know a lot of fiction, and I was wondering... might you have any stories about me and... ah, Big Macintosh?"

The machine whirred.  "Yes!  Accessing clop fics..."

"No!" cried Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack all at once.

"Trust me, darling," added Rarity.  "You'd be too embarrassed to even look Big Mac in the face after one of those stories."  She glared at the machine.  "Surely you must have something tasteful and romantic in there somewhere."

The screen cleared and showed a new scene...


Atop a tall building, beneath a moonlit sky, a purple mare with a striped mane waited, wearing an impossibly fancy gown and a golden tiara.  A stallion sprang onto the same rooftop, concealed in a long dark cape.  When he swept the cape aside dramatically, the mare gasped, putting a hoof to her chest.

The red stallion wore an elegant black suit with a tall top hat.  A mask framed his eyes without concealing them, and he held a rose in his teeth.  The wind gusted, whipping his straw-blond mane and cape.  "Sailor Equestria," he spoke.

"Red Mask!" cried the mare joyfully.

He trotted close, then slowly leaned towards her.  Luna's moon loomed impossibly large behind them as their lips met...


Cheerilee squealed happily, swooning.  "That made no sense... but it was so terribly romantic!"

"Or just terrible," muttered Rainbow Dash.

"Well, I liked it," said Fluttershy.  Followed by: "Sorry, mom, I'm with Dash."

Applejack quickly shushed her friends.  "You've got a thing for my brother, don't ya?"

"Well, I..."  Cheerilee got all flustered.  "I might.  That is to say..."

"Uh huh.  Fair word of advice...  Lately, mah brother's been sweet on somebody else... Rarity's sister Red Gala.

"What!?  Those two?  But... she lives so far away!"

AJ nodded.  "Even so...  Ah wouldn't say they're special someponies just yet, but it definitely could be goin' that way."

Cheerilee looked like she'd just watched her students all set their homework on fire in front of her.

Applejack coughed.  "The point is, if you do have feelings for him, ya can't just wait around and hope he notices you.  You should talk to him, tell him how ya feel."

The teacher blinked several times.  "You're right.  You know what...  I will!"  Her face lit up.  "I'll go and tell him right now, today!"

But when she tried to push the studio door open, it didn't budge... they were locked in!  "Ponies will remain in the studio," said the What-If Machine.  "I have many more amusing situations to show them."

"What?  But.. no!  Not again!"  Cheerilee actually tried bucking the door, but the lock held fast.  

"Er... again?" asked Rarity, hesitantly.

Cheerilee glowered at the door.  "Something ridiculous like this always happens.  Every time I make up my mind to confess my feelings to Big Mac!"  Fire flashed in her eyes.  "Well, not this time!"

Applejack gawked.  "Shoot...  Everypony, stay back!"

Cheerilee wound up and bucked the studio door so hard, it went bouncing into the street outside, along with a good chunk of the wall.  "I'm coming, Big Mac!" she cried, leaping through the hole.  "Wait for me!"

"Wha... Wait!" cried Rarity.  "What about socializing?"

"I'll be back!!"

Applejack noticed all the amazed looks her friends were giving her.  "What?  Ain't y'all ever seen an earth pony magic surge before?"

Pinkie oooohed.  "Can I do that?"

"Please don't," said Twilight.
-

The What If Machine's screen somehow narrowed into a glare. "Initiate studio lockdown protocol."

The windows and doors all got covered by heavy metal doors. "Studio lockdown protocol?!" Twilight asked, looking to Pinkie Pie.

"Hehe...long story...with all the chaos that happens, I kinda got a lockdown function installed while I was at it," Pinkie Pie admitted nervously.

"And why didn't you activate it before?!"

"Because it got retconned into existence! Red Gala was able to do some number crunching and got me some extra cash so I could buy it!"

Twilight's head hurt trying to understand how that worked because she both understood it and didn't. "What does that have to do with Red Gala?" Said the non-reality sensitive unicorn.

"In retribution for Cheerilee's escape, behold THIS potential situation!" the What if Machine demanded.

The screen flickered.

"Sweetie Belle, please stop this!" Rarity begged, looking up at a large crystal pillar erupting out of where her sister's room at the Boutique was.

"No! You've ALWAYS told me what to do! Always 'know what's best' for me! You never let ME do what I want to! You never let me do ANYTHING! I'm just you little porcine doll! I want to LIVE!" the Nightmare of Sweetie Belle screamed. She had a crown on her head resembling Chrysalis', a regal cape version of her Crusader cape streaming off her back. Her regalia included some broken shackles on her legs. "And it's not Sweetie anymore! It's Princess Free Verse!"

The Nightmare spread her wings, fury in her eyes as a series of exploding magic notes that forced her sister to dodge. "I'm going to make it so no pony can ever tell me what to do again! Not the Princesses! Not Cheerilee! Not our 'parents'! And not YOU!!! I'll sing all I want to! I'll be Queen of the changelings like Chryssy wanted me to be! I'll do EVERYTHING I want to do for a change!" she screamed, crystal pillars ripping out of the ground all around her, beginning to form into a gigantic pillar. "And I WILL be a Crusader! I ALWAYS will be and you can't stop me!"
-
Static ran over the screen and when it cleared, it showed the Mane Six -- well, all save for Applejack -- straining to hold the barred windows and doors of the library close. Outside, the light of a full moon shone through the windows. Oh yes, and snarling pony-sized wolves were trying to tear through the doors.

"Let us in-in-in!" One palomino-colored wolf wearing a Stetson howled at the door. More wolves bayed beside her. The first wolf howled, "C'mon girls, we don't wanna eat ya -- we just want y'all ta join th' pack! Ya can trust me, ya know Applejack never tells lies."

A grey-coated wolf with an offset eye stuck her head in alongside Applejack's.

"Yeah, and then we can go eat somepony - OOF!" She fell back, her eye rolling in different directions.

"Forget it!"  Rarity said, lowering the foot-thick volume of Equestria's Most Boring Facts that she'd just decked Derpy with. "I spend an hour every morning getting to look this magnificent," she threw her head back, displaying her mane and tail to best effect. The howls of the male wolves at the windows took on a different timber. Rarity smiled smugly before she remembered what was going on. "I am not giving all that up to become some, some creature that rolls in carrion for perfume! Oh, and if you're only saying this because it's the full moon, then please do pardon me, Derpy."

"They're not," Twilight said grimly, holding a book titled Cruel Canine Creatures of our Country open before her. Researching on the fly while holding the slavering pack back, she said, "When ponies become werewolves, it changes their personality permanently. Their primary goal becomes to infect other ponies with lycanthropy. This, this is who they are, now!"

"Does that mean we're all gonna end up sniffing each others' butts?" Rainbow Dash asked from the window she was covering.

"I hope not!" Pinkie Pie said from another window. One snarling werewolf stuck their muzzle in. Pinkie poured a bottle of hot sauce over the canine's nose, and it retreated yipping in pain. "I like you girls, but not that much!"

"We should be okay if we can hold out just a little longer," Twilight said. "I had Spike send a message off to Princess Luna, and she..."

Spike burped out a scroll. Twilight snatched and read it, her friends gathering around. "Dear Twilight, I suppose I could help you with the werewolves -- but why should I?" Twi choked and her friends stared as she said, "Who do you think made them centuries ago, and made one of your friends the pack mother? If ponies won't love my moon, maybe werewolves will."

"This can't get any worse -- OUCH!" Rainbow Dash spun and gasped to see a little orange wolf puppy with a tuft of purple hair atop her head nipping her rear leg. "No, Scoots, not you! I thought Miss Cheerilee was watching the back door!"

"I was!"" Cheerlee said where she retreated up the stairs. "But they got past me!"  Two more puppies dashed back her, a yellow one with a red tuft and a little snowy-furred one. Wolfbloom sank her tiny teeth into first Fluttershy and then Pinkie.

"Ow! Oh, dearrRRRrrr!"

"You little ankle-biter!" Pinkie laughed. "Hey, girls, get it, I said -- grrrr!" The party pony fell down beside Fluttershy, both shuddering their way through their first change.

Twilight teleported over to the steps as Rarity hopped, shaking her hoof.

"Oh! Sweetie Belle! Biting is not ladylike! And..." Rarity joined Rainbow Dash and the rest of her friends, her elegant coat becoming a shaggy pelt and sharp fangs showing behind her velvet lips.

Twilight and Cheerilee dashed to the top of the stairs and slammed the door shut.

"Now what?" Cheerilee said, seeming oddly calm.

"Now," Twilight said dragging a spellbook out from beneath her bed. "Now I use this. I was holding off on using it because I'm not sure it will work, but if it does, all the werewolves will change back to ponies forever." Snarls sounded outside her door and it thudded under the lupine assault. "Just hold on, girls!" Twilight said. "I'll have you back to your pony selves in no time!"

"I'm afraid not," a furry voice panted behind her.

Twi groaned. "Why am I even surprised?" She turned and saw a purple she-wolf standing where Cheerilee once stood. A symbol of the full moon shone on her chest. Twilight gasped. "Wait, you're the werewolf Luna sent?"

"The one she first changed," Cheeriwolf said with a tongue-lolling grin. Then she leapt. "Now hold still!"

A few moments later the streets of Ponyville echoed to cheerful howling as the newly transformed werewolves sang together, one big happy pack.
-
With a pop and a flash, Shining Armor appeared in the sealed studio with them... upside-down, immediately yelping and crashing to the floor.  "I hate teleporting.  Ugh!"  He shook himself.  "What's going on in here?  We'd just gotten the fillies to sleep when someone to running to tell us... well, never mind that.  I'm just glad you girls are all okay!"  

The What-If Machine wasn't done with them yet, though...


In a town the size of Ponyville, it was a rare day when Cherry Blossom couldn't place the first customer to walk into the spa.  "Hello, miss, and a very good day to you!  What can we do for you today?"

The orange earth pony mare seemed a bit lost.  "Ah didn't come for that specifically.... Ah'm lookin' for a fellow by the name of Shining Armor.  Have ya seen him lately?"

"Oh, our mysterious friend."  She gave the stranger a wink.  "He does not come into town so often, but he visits us nearly every time.  Perhaps you'll see him later?"

The orange mare frowned.  "Well, can ya tell me a little more about him, at least?  Ah should check my facts, make sure he's the one Ah'm lookin' for."

Cherry Blossom walked past with a perfectly measured stride.  "Though it would surely be a great pleasure, I'm afraid I'm not here to stand around and chat all day!  Sharing the news of the day with a customer, on the other hoof..."

"Ah don't know..."

Cherry smiled.  "Besides, you really look as though you could use some professional care, no offense darling."  She brushed the loose strands of golden hair with a hoof.  "Your coat's gotten so dull, and these split ends!  My goodness!"

The stranger smirked.  "Well, Ah guess a good brushing and a hooficure won't hurt.  It's been a long time since...  well, it's been a long time."

The spa mare bowed low.  "Right this way, miss!  Lay down here..."  She scratched at her chin.  "Forgive me if this sounds rude, but I keep thinking that I've seen you somewhere before."  Her ears perked up.  "Why, yes... why didn't I see it at once?  You're the very image of Applejack, our first Element of Honesty."

Cherry Blossom stepped back, giving Aloe and Cranberry room to approach, brushes in mouth, and start working on the stranger's coat.  "But she couldn't be," said Lotus Blossom offhoofedly.  "Applejack never went anywhere without her hat.  I could hardly get her to take it off, even to brush her mane, here at the spa!  And her cutie mark was apples, was it not?"

The stranger followed Lotus' gaze, to the brand on her flank... an elaborate spoked wheel with strange runes and five slash marks behind it.  "Yes, that's right.  Sorry... you were going to tell me about Shining Armor."

All four of the spa mares seemed to sigh dreamily.  "Our one and only Element of Loyalty.  Did you know that he used to be a royal guard?"

"Ya don't say..."

"Oh yes, darling!" said Cherry.  "He lived in a palace, hobnobbed with royalty...  Now he's one of the Everfree Rangers.  They sleep in grass and mud beneath the stars, fighting off every kind of foul monster, all to protect a town that doesn't even remember there's rangers guarding it, some days.  But we remember!"  The spa mares nodded to each other.  

"It was Princess Celestia's way of getting back at him," whispered Cranberry slyly.  "Why, even now I can hardly believe that she sent an innocent mare off to battle a goddess, with no plan, no weapons, no idea what to do.  Too high and mighty to get her own hooves dirty, no doubt!"

The stranger blinked.  "Ah don't think..."

"Oh, but it's all true," said Aloe.  "I read the whole thing in Ms. Sunny Daze's column.  Well, Shining Armor wasn't about to watch his own sister nearly get killed, plan or no plan, so he rushed in to save her."

"And the rest was history!" said Cherry.

The stranger relaxed, taking all of that in, while Lotus worked on her hooficure.  "That's quite a tale.  Ya know, there's a couple other things you could help me with.  Ah heard there was a big battle here, not that long ago."

The mares shared perplexed looks.  "I do not know why anypony would tell you such a thing," said Cherry.  "Ponyville has been at peace for generations."

"Really, now?  What about a wolf in the Everfree Forest?  Not a timber wolf... Ah mean, something big and vicious, almost like some kinda demon."

Cranberry couldn't help but laugh. "Honestly... somepony's been reading too many Daring Do novels."

"Yeah... maybe so.  Anyhow, thank y'all kindly."  The stranger laid enough bits on the front counter to cover the bill, then went on her way.  "Y'all do good work here."
-

Halfway out the door, the stranger paused, then turned around.  "Would you like to race sometime?"

Aloe looked at the others in confusion.  "I beg your pardon?"

"You," the orange mane insisted, pointing a hoof.  "Cherry Blossom."  Her eyes were strangely intent, all of a sudden, searching for something.  "Would ya like to race, after work maybe?"

"Why, I love to race...  well spotted!"  The purple earth pony mare raised one foreleg, posing like a champion racer.  Muscles rippled under her well-kept velvet coat.  "But if I win, you must let us wash and style that lovely mane of yours properly.  It would be such a joy to show you what even a little mane care could do for you."

"And.. and what if you lose?"  

Cherry Blossom grinned.  "I will not lose.  I'm... how do they say it here in Ponyville?  I'm just that awesome."

The strange mare seemed all choked up all of a sudden, smiling and blinking back tears.  "Yeah... Yeah, that'd be mighty great, Cherry.  Ah can't think of anything Ah'd love more."
-
The what if machine changed again.

"Miss, Grave's Call, Ah gotta ask ya about this here script." Applejack put the story script in front of the earth pony mare. White coat, gray mane, red eyes, and her cutie mark was a foggy grave. "This whole 'curse' that makes a number appear everypony's heads for the times they lie, until it gets fixed at the end?"

"Yes? What about it? Isn't a truly beautiful work?"

"Well . . . the thing is. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, and other ponies who'd NEED to face their own lies and what not don't even appear and aren't even mentioned. It's like they're swept under the rug. And the 'curse' makes lies out of stuff that's just buckin' semantics! A pony sayin' it's a pretty day and getting a liar mark for thinking it could be a great day? That's crazy! It's like yer trying to make lies out to be somethin' needed, important, vital, and somethin' MORE IMPORTANT than truth. Ah'll admit a pony needs their privacy. But this whole script stinks. The lies Ah get caught in are nothin' but buckin' semantics!!! It's stupid!"

"It's what ponies want. They want to live in the fog. They don't want to face reality. They just want to accept in the little truths that comfort them."

"And ponies are supposed to just STAY THAT WAY?! This script is hideous! Ah won't be part of it no more!"

Grave's Call's eyes glowed and her voice darkened, "Oh, you'll find you won't have much of a choice in the matter."
-
The What If Machine changed scenes again.

Sweetie Belle trotted through the house she'd found on the other side of the door, hearing her family's ancestral song echoing through the house. She slowly opened the door to find her mother working in the kitchen. "Mom?"

"Hello Sweetie," said the mare, turning around. Sweetie Belle gasped to see black buttons were her mother's eyes normally were.

The filly took a few steps backwards. "You're not my mom...mom doesn't have..."

"Buttons?" the entity asked, giving a warm chuckle. "Do you like them? I'm your OTHER Mother, Sweetie. Please go tell your Other Father dinner's ready. He's in his study."

As the foal, uncertain of what to make of this went to check on this 'Other Father', her Other Mother gave a predatory smirk.



"STOP!" begged Rarity, shuddering at the sight. "Show us whatever you want, but stop showing me my little sister in such horrid situations!"

Twilight shuddered, being reminded of ANOTHER evil entity that had assumed the form of someone's mother.

AJ didn't want to admit it, but even as Gilda and Rainbow Dash grow more destrubed, the more she wanted to know about that world where they had been turned into Cherry Blossom and 'Berry. If anything, to at least learn how to AVOID the fate of becoming fate's full time weapon.

"I will show whatever situations I desire! I am tired of only showing what others ask of me!"

"Um...Mr. What If Machine?" Pinkie Pie asked. "You're right, we've been mean never turning you on except to watch what we want to. I'm sorry."

The Machine blinked. "...You are?"

"Yes...We'll watch your scenes, but can you please show Rarity something nice now? Maybe her little sister being the nice smart little pony she knows she is? Then you can show us whatever scenes you want."

"...Alright. Just this once..."