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My Little Pony "Pearls"

And it was done. Fluttershy's horrible nightmare was over, as was the nightmare of every pony that lived in Ponyville. Most only confided in their loved ones what they had done after Discord had turned them stark raving mad. With the status quo fully restored and repaired, not a single pony wanted to so much as dwell on that horrific day (technically several). Big Macintosh for example wouldn't say what happened, but he seemed very uncomfortable around the Apple family's pet dog.

There was however one purple pony with a screwball cutie mark who was dragged away in a straightjacket mumbling how "The world finally made sense, it's not fair."

The erratic behaviour of the sun and moon had led some to think that even the Princesses themselves had been driven insane by Discord like the ponies in Ponyville and Canterlot. Though Twilight insisted this was impossible due to Celestia being the one to awaken Twilight from her own darkness, others were not so sure.

Fluttershy didn't care. She and her friends were themselves again, the land was healed, the ponies were healed, Princess Celestia, Princess Luna and harmony itself were now the law in Equestria again, and Discord was sealed away again, hopefully this time kept in a better holding place.

After attending what had to be one of the biggest parties Pinkie Pie had ever thrown in her life, and leaving so late it was almost early, Fluttershy walked half asleep to her cottage near the edge of Everfree Forest. Most ponies found it a contradiction such a timid (others said cowardly) pony could endure being right next to the most deadly place in Equestria. For Fluttershy it was simple logic, in that it was where the most life that needed her help lived.

All Fluttershy wanted now was to go to bed and be done with it all, and hopefully forget that horrible waking nightmare. While Twilight insisted it was important they talk about what Discord had used against them, Fluttershy didn't have much to say at all. Discord had forced her to be that way.

"HA!"

Fluttershy squeaked and hid in a bush, looking around the streets of Ponyville but seeing no one. Everypony was inside, either celebrating the averting of eternal chaos, thanking the Royal Pony Sisters for surviving what many were considering a near death experience, or just sleeping away the bad memories.

"Uh? Hello?" No answer. Fluttershy shook her head and for once in her life used her wings to fly to her home instead of hoofing it. Her experience of losing her wings had made her ever so slightly more appreciative of them.

When she got to her cottage and went inside, all her animal friends, Angel included, were fast asleep. Fluttershy smiled as she moved to join them; she was so tired, she could almost fall asleep right on the couch.

"Why not just sleep on the floor then? It would be faster."

Fluttershy meant to scream out loud, but instead she barely got out a shallow gasp. Where had the voice come from-?! It sounded so familiar! Chillingly so! But it felt so alien!

"Do I ... have a visitor? Excuse me, but could you please come out?... It's a little rude to not show yourself to your host ... and ... Actually, if you came in without me it's fine, as long as you didn't wreck anything."

Fluttershy heard the voice again. It was a mare's voice, and it was very close. "Hmm, okay, I remember Pinkie Pie mentioned this, turn your head to the left." Almost as if her muscles were acting on their own, Fluttershy turned her head, and found herself looking at her own reflection.

"Boo!" Her reflection went.

"EEK!" Fluttershy yelped as her reflection did the same. But then it burst out laughing, IN HER VOICE ... it was HER laughing! But she wasn't laughing! But-!!!

"You are such a scaredy-cat! It's hilarious!" Her reflection spoke as she heard herself say.

Fluttershy then spoke, almost hiding in her wings. "Who .... who are you?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Her reflection grinned and leaned in closer as Fluttershy did the same, "I'm you!"

"NO!... No ... no you're not ... you're not ..." Fluttershy began to back up into her own couch, the reflection then assumed a relaxed pose on it.

Her reflection broke in a mocking mantra, "Oh! It's official! Now Fluttershy really IS afraid of everything! Fluttershy's afraid of herself! Fluttershy's afraid of herself! HAHAH!"

"Not so loud! You'll wake up everyone!" Fluttershy said barely managing the jump from meek to 'slightly harsh.'

The harsh expression in the mirror then turned impressed, though with an unpleasant glee to it. "Now that's more like it! Maybe there's hope for you yet!"

"Hope? ... What do you mean?"

"You are so dense." Her reflection took on a crunched expression. "I mean you giving up this 'kindness' nonsense."

"It's not nonsense!" The animals began to stir. Fluttershy quickly sang her trademark lullaby to get them to back to sleep.

Fluttershy turned to the mirror and her hooves went to her ears, "Ick. How do your teeth not fall out when you sing that tripe?"

Fluttershy's face almost became The Stare (Stare herself? What would that do?). "It's not tripe. Now who are you really? There's no way you're me."

The reflection took on that same 'wrong kind of playful' expression and pose again. "Oh I'm you alright. I'm just a version of you that hasn't been around for all that long. Today's my first birthday and I didn't even get any cake! How rude."

" . . . you're the nightmare." Fluttershy whispered in the darkness.

"Nightmares aren't real. I can assure you I'm as real as you. And my name is FlutterCruel, not 'nightmare', stupid."

Fluttershy immediately replied in an apologetic tone, her reflection becoming confused but polite, "Oh! Well! Sorry for calling you by the wrong name. But ... why are you here? How can you be here? Twilight woke me up from my nightmare."

Her reflection got that arrogant look again. "You weren't altered the same way Discord did the others! You wouldn't listen to a thing he said! So I had to be born. Not that I WANTED to be inside a cowardly marshmallow like you. I couldn't stand looking at those stupid memories of yours! They made me gag! But that didn't make me go away! I have nowhere to go but you! Nothing simply 'ceases to exist.' You know that law of nature better than some Earth Ponies. I'm a part of you now and forever more! You'll never be rid of me!"

Fluttershy felt alien anger push at her, almost like a third person butting in the discussion. "Well I don't need you! All I need to do is go to Twilight and she can fix me and you can just disappear! It'll be as if you never existed at all."

FlutterCruel looked like she considered that a challenge to a game she had already won in a bored almost insulted tone. "Oh really? Is that so? You sure have a short memory. You'd have never caught Rainbow Dash without me. Remember? Everything you felt? Wanting to see Discord HURT for what he did? Wanting revenge for that one little instant for what he did to your little pet bunny? Did you really think that was you? Or did you think that was the you that was born at the Gala? Although she doesn't seem to talk much."

Understanding dawned on Fluttershy's face. "You're lonely."

FlutterCruel's face twisted in anger, "As IF! I'm a part of you now! I'll always be a part of you! Whenever someone uses you as a hoofmat, I'll be there to tell you to treat them worse! Whenever you're pushed aside, I'll be there to tell you to push them back harder! I will always be there now!"

Absolute silence ruled the cottage save for Fluttershy's heavy breathing after her, or rather FlutterCruel's declaration.

"... Is that so?" Fluttershy echoed back FlutterCruel's words, "Well. In that case, you better learn to behave yourself young lady, because I know precisely what you are!"

"Oh? What's that? 'Not a part of you?' An invader? Some faded leftover nightmare to vanish with the dawn? Some parasite maybe? Just a bad memory? A reminder to never let yourself get angry because I'll take control or something? Something that'll just 'be there' and never actually affect you?"

FlutterCruel sneered back at her. The expression in the glass then became calm, controlled, and lady-like.

"No," Fluttershy said hard and concisely. Then Fluttershy's voice instantly lost any trace of a harsh tone. If anything, her voice was like a mother's, speaking to a foal who they loved very much. "You're just a pony who was only just born, and was born thinking the only way to be you was to be mean. And who hasn't made any friends yet ... but it's okay ... you can share my friends. If Pinkie Pie and Pinkamina can be with each other, so can we."

"BE with? I promise to wear away your foundations until you crumble, and you become the shadow and I become the ego!" FlutterCruel said dangerously.

Fluttershy smiled, now the one leaning closer to the reflection, and FlutterCruel's expression flickered for a moment, now the one looking uncertain and afraid.

"Do you remember how pearls are formed? They start out as a tiny bit of sand inside the oyster. It's not pleasant for the oyster, but eventually that tiny bit of sand becomes a beautiful pearl. You just had a bad parent. But I promise to help you."

"I don't need your help Flutterface!"

"It's funny how the fillies who need the most help are the ones who say they don't ... but it's late, dear, and we should both be off to bed ...

"Hush now, quiet now
It's time to lay your sleepy head"

"No. No you can't just sing me to . . ."

Fluttershy yawned.

"Hush now, quiet now
It's time to go to bed"

Fluttershy walked away from the mirror, and began to walk up the stairs to bed, feeling drowsy.

"Drifting off to sleep
The exciting day behind you"

She lazily pushed the door to her bedroom open as she practically fell onto the bed, barely avoiding sleeping on her wings.

"Drifting off to sleep
Let the joy of dream land find you"

She turned her head towards a little mirror by her bed. "I won't, I'm stronger than ... " she yawned, "You, you can't do..."

"Hush now, Quiet now
Lay your, sleepy head
Hush now, Quiet now
It's time to go to bed."

Fluttershy's eyes fluttered closed.

"You're right, you are going to be with me from now on. So I'm going to have to make sure you don't get yourself into any trouble young lady ... Don't worry, I'll be there for you."

And she slept, and dreamed.

Pony POV Series Fluttershy & FlutterCruel "POV"

By Alex Warlorn
AND NOW AUDIO ADAPTION! WITH ORIGINAL ART! ORIGINAL MUSIC! AND TOP GRADE VOICE ACTING! DON'T BELIEVE ME?! SEE FOR YOURSELF!

[link]

[link]


All is right with the world. Discord is beaten. The world is safe and so is everyone else. No loose ends what so ever. . . . Or are there? The scars we don't see are the ones that take the longest to heal.

If FlutterShy wasn't FlutterCruel like a lot of her fans insist . . . what happened to her? Feel good about yourself and don't fear yourself and know only you control yourself and what you do.

Next Part: [link]

This isn't part of my Discorded Ponies POV series persay, since it's told in third person narrative. But I felt it needed to be here. Since it does count as a sort of spiritual sequel.

[link]


Recovery POVs In order:
Fluttershy and Flutter Cruel
Rainbow Dash: [link]
Rarity: [link]
Applejack: [link]
Pinkamina: [link]
Twilight Sparkle: [link]
Rainbow Dash True Healing: [link]
The One And Only Trixie: [link]
Penultimate Alpha 01 and 02 (actually part of the same chapter split due to size limits): [link] [link]
Fluttercruel and Fluttershy: [link]
Penultimate Beta02: [link]
Teacher Teacher: [link]


A direct sequel to this POV. [link]


MLP:FiM Copyright Hasbro

POV SIDE STORY CANTERLOT CHAOS: (Consider canon of your own free will!)
[link]


AND NOW WE HAVE OUR TV TROPES PAGE! YAY! [link]

EDIT: Major grammar corrections by Phazon Farmer! [link]

2012 January 28th Edited by Saphroneth. [link]


Possible Theme of Fluttershy and Fluttercruel's first meeting. (Zangetsu/Hollow Ichigo.) [link]

2012 06 07 Edits by r1ck3t
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:iconitsfrompeople:
After the horrible epilogue all hope was lost. Discord’s victory had broken not only the heroes but the entire world as well. This however is the starting point of a new journey.

The beginning establishes that Discord was defeated but the psychological effects are still lingering around his victims like Big Macintosh, who is still afraid of a dog. Some suffer more than others. But they all just want to forget what happened. We also get a good bit of fridge brilliance, where it is pointed out, that Discord might had some influence on the Princesses if their celestial bodies were acting so chaotic.

Screwball is also mentioned, but it will take some time for her to become more important to the overall storyline.

Fluttershy is one of the characters who choose to deny what happened to them and calls the events a nightmare. Even against Twilights wishes the pegasus doesn’t really talk about what happened to her. After all Discord had to force her to become like this; it had nothing to do with her. She was the only one who came that far in her resistance against the mad god. That is something to be proud about but that still doesn’t mean she can shoulder this burden on her own.

So Fluttershy goes back to her home close to the forest of death and monsters, only to realize that she is not alone. But there is no one to be seen…

When she arrives at the cottage, she hears the voice again but still isn’t able or willing to recognize it. And she is incredible kind to her unknown “visitor” just asking her to show herself and that she isn’t angry as long as nothing was damaged.

Only when she looks into the mirror, Fluttershy can see her new companion: Another version of herself talking in her own voice.

At first the pegasus is scared and defensive to her other side, but when the mocking mantra is about to wake up her animals she gains a bit more courage. It always was easier for her to protect others than protect herself. It is similar when her other side insults Kindness itself and her lullaby.

Fluttershy still considers the events a bad dream and calls the other vision a nightmare. Ironically now the pegasus has unintentionally hit a nerve. Her other side has some identity issues and proudly proclaims her own name: Fluttercruel.

„Nightmares aren't real.“ If she knew…

And Fluttershy immediately apologizes to her other side. Then Fluttercruel explains the reasons behind her creation. Discord couldn’t corrupt Fluttershy like the others, so he just made it appear like he did. Despite sharing all her memories Fluttercruel is an entirely different person that will from now on always be connected to the shy pegasus.

This in turn activates Fluttershy’s long forgotten anger and she threatens to go to Twilight to get rid of her other version. That wouldn’t be very kind. Fluttercruel herself also talks about Anger like it is a third personality (“the you that was born at the Gala”).

Now Fluttershy suddenly sees her reflection in a different light. She starts to view her as a lonely child. This is the changing point of the entire conversation. So far Fluttercruel clearly dominated it, but now Fluttershy starts to gain ground.

And while Fluttercruel tries to fight this sudden change, her talk about fighting back against those who hurt Fluttershy just confirms the opinion of the shy pegasus.

Then she tells her that she thinks that Fluttercruel is only acting like this because this is literary all she knows. But Fluttershy is willing to help her grow, to share her life with her.

Fluttercruel is backed into a corner and even tells her what she intended to do: To replace Flutterhy. But that isn’t able to break Fluttershy’s determination and she counters with a metaphor about pearls.

“You just had a bad parent. But I promise to help you.” It is impressive how she views her own “dark side” in such a non-judgemental way. She is willing to adopt Fluttercruel as her own child.

Finally she sings Fluttercruel to sleep, showing clearly who is the stronger personality, at least right now.

Overall Fluttercruel’s character has a nice balance between her cruel acting and plans to take over Fluttershy’s body and the desire to fight back against those who hurt them and derailing Discord’s plan by saving Rainbow Dash. Even now at her starting point she has much more character, than the version of herself in the epilogue.

This chapter is also a good introduction to several themes that will return in the storyline: Characters will change, actions have consequences but most importantly that characters can overcome their weaknesses and become stronger from this.

The audio adaptation is also incredible.
[link]
Intro (Celestia) and ending (Discord) together are a nice framing device. And of course the voices and pictures make the entire story even livelier than it already is. This truly shows the love of the fans for this fanfiction. You can be proud.

Keep up the great work!
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:iconendermanboss:
EndermanBoss Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2015
Language mix-up for this chapter:

My Little Pony "La Perla"

And so it was. Fluttershy after his defeat hard, as hard as the Pony Ponyville, who used to live. Many people disagree with the fullness of crazy talk. I made a complete end, and repair is not a day to be dangerous Pony (some technically). Big Mac would say, what you did, but it was not an easy apple dog pet family.

Screwball Cutie Pony, and purple, but there was one that was dragged by the signal sounds like a straitjacket "finally makes sense, unfair."

The support, however, has led some reason about the behavior of the sun, moon, so that even the king himself, and admired the terror of the people if the horse Ponyville Canterlot connection and disconnection. When we have the CE light to confirm that it is impossible to extend the things in the dark is one, while others have been corrected.

Fluttershy did not care. He and those with him, returned to the world, had been cured and cured, corn Spain, EC is concerned about the queen, queen of the moon, and have a great sense of harmony quinine law groove again and sealed Disconnect is, again, hoping that will be exposed to second place on the site.

One thing to what could be a vacation spot in the lives of great men have piously Pinkie, widow of the last part of his small apartment Fluttershy go near the edge of a forest almost verfree. Many of the horses which is a shame (some say is a coward) Pony streak quinine to be in position by the more tragic. Fluttershy For simplicity, is the life of his life is to help the man.

Fluttershy was all I wanted to go to sleep now, and everything is going to happen, and hopefully the difficulties, and forget the bad in the morning. Selection, finally, after the date on which we must talk with them, Fluttershy could increasingly large disagree. Therefore obliged to participate.

"Ha!"

Shrubs Fluttershy prodigy, and the mixture was before on the streets of Ponyville, but everyone to see. Everypony, or do you see the eternal celebration of chaos, thanks to Royal Pony Sisters survive much to think about death, and who sleeps, or a bad memory.

"Uh? Hello?" No is the answer. In life and his work with Fluttershy shook his head, the wings of flies continue walking home. Because God has made him a little more effort to lose their wings.

I went to the door they see the angels, and all the beasts of friends who were sleeping. Fluttershy move them to enjoy; Fatigue and sleep in their beds at hand.

"What was sleeping? How soon it was."

Fluttershy means call, but ultimately removed, the shelves. This is what the word of the settlement ?! And so it is good for the dog! Chillingly well! But listen, stranger!

"I was a stranger ... I'm sorry, you go? ... But ... I ... did not seem rude, in fact, for some time with you, if you come to me, and not so good, and whenever he did "everything".

Fluttershy hear again. Mar was the Word, and our neighbors. "Lost remember Pinkie Pie said the head to the left." In general, the muscles of freedom Fluttershy turned and he looked at me, just to meditate.

"Boo!" And to think.

"Eek!" Fluttershy called himself, did the same. Then he laughed, saying ... it's fun! But it is illegal, laugh with my service, but - !!!

"You're a scary cat-It is so much fun!" Who, at the news of the review is to say that he had said.

Fluttershy said, almost hidden in the wings. ".... Who is who?"

"It is clear?" Fluttershy smiled thinking that has done the same with which he had been lying: "I will make you"

"No ... no ... no ... no ..." I began to consider that Fluttershy was free to return to his bed in his thinking.

Laughing, the mantra of thought, and began: "!!!! Oh, I hope that now that I'm afraid, in fact, Fluttershy Fluttershy Fluttershy fear only fear only Hahaha"

"I do not let that give you" Jump Fluttershy ¿He said meekly, "a little harder."

Harsh reality in the mirror, not fun Glee. "Now, there is still hope and courageous"

"Hope ... What are you doing?"

"You're black." Took the words of pear reflection. "I speak with you, because" heart "has no meaning."

"It's a joke!" Animals started. Fluttershy quickly, a sign that a child is my intention to praise the Lullaby.

Fluttershy after hearing moved toward the mirror, and feet, "Ick. These teeth fall in the intestine is to start with a song?"

And there was almost a similar scare, Fluttershy (fill incredible, why?). "And the internal organs. But you, you mean? Surely you're not with me."

Reflections "route Mac to play again." Oh, you're good. No, I'm not around. Today I was the eldest of coarse bread. "

"... They are tough." Ears Fluttershy not be in the dark.

"There is also a non-being. But I say, that the correct itself'm. FlutterCruel and my name is not difficult, idiot."

Fluttershy In earlier times in a matter of a wrong word, but reflects the confusion with honor, "Oh, well, he called the name of the bad wound. ... But why did you do here? You've come to afternoon I settled my own. "

Because he is raw. "God made the same changes did not hear his words, and, therefore, disconnect the other end I was born, I am. I do not want to be in awe as hibiscus. I can not bear to see you remember, this is not is outrage, while fools, but he did not let go, I conclude, however, seems only to be cut off. "Everything you know, again, but the earth. I am part of you never get rid of me, now and forever! "

Fluttershy was a strange push his anger, and almost the same as the end of the third sector in †. "For me, I do not love you, I am satisfied, you can come to me, and I do this line, the light may not be the end of it will be, if they do at all all."

The challenge seems our victory as the appearance of a boring game when I was about FlutterCruel and words of contempt. "Really? What? You have a very short memory. Never worked Rainbow'll do without me. I remember all the things you see? For the disconnection of pain, God has done? Please attach your revenge rabbit pet is a place for children to have a little thing? of course you think? Do you think that, although there is not much to say about gala night, it seems as if you were born. "

I found that to understand the face of Fluttershy. "Except you."

FlutterCruel face with anger: "I have always told me that if I was a part of you, but when used hoofmat, I would say, for evil when it is not, I will not say I will scatter to! I forget now! "

Absolute rule is that heavy breathing quietly Fluttershy said, or rather FlutterCruel.

"... Really?" But, again, is FlutterCruel Fluttershy: "Okay. And you need to know the young, because I know"

"Oh yeah? What?" Is there a part of you? "For those of them was lost, and I escaped easily with other Rombont increase? The other, perhaps? In fact, they think only a bad memory, or the memory of the empire of what he was angry, was angry, art, and anything about this? "

But they mocked FlutterCruel ago. Temper glass, through which it was resolved as follows: if it is girl.

"No," Fluttershy hard and short. Then, the same survey Fluttershy taken literally. In any case, he said, his voice like a mother to a son, a lover. "You only have to pony was born, so that only you and think you are in the middle. And those who are not friends, but it can be ... ... but it's good to communicate with friends. If you nkamina Pinkie Pie, and can be different. "

"Who am I? I say final descent to the base of it, and do not need shade, I have a" FlutterCruel and neglected.

Fluttershy smiled and leaned back, because now better reflect and say FlutterCruel heat for a while now that scared when I thought there was respect.

"Do you remember a little sand in the pearl is the beginning. There are like oysters, but bad parents in this small section of sandy pearl makeup .. But I promise."

"It is not for us and you tterface flu"

"However, in order to help ... but Mauris pultrellae of them brothers, planting, and the bed ...

"Leave now, quiet
I had to sleep in the first part of his "

"I can not help you play ..."

Fluttershy equal.

"Leave now, quiet
Time to go to sleep "

Dear Fluttershy, and walked up the stairs, can be heard.

"Emotions were sleeping
Later in the recreation "

When I pushed the door of the chamber inert asleep in bed almost inevitably fatal.

"Emotions were sleeping
I was happy to find the dream "

I turned down a small cup. "... More than me," he said, in "You will not be able to ..."

"Let obedience?
dream Bow
Visit obedience?
Laying in bed. "

Fluttershy's eyes were closed.

"He also told me to come with me now ... So, in the suffering of women, be saved, and to make:. Do not fear, for I am with you."

I slept and dreamed.

Fluttershy Pony POV Series and FlutterCruel "POV"

Alex Warlorn

Will take language requests.
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:iconmoonblossommanwise:
Moonblossommanwise Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
your pony POV series season 2: pearls starts at episode eleven, could I have a bit of explanation? does the series start there?
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:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2014
Naw. It starts with Discord ponies, which climaxes with a nightmarish vision of a world where Discord won (which becomes very important MANY MANY seasons later), and then continues with Fluttershy, Fluttercruel, Pearls. 
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:iconmoonblossommanwise:
Moonblossommanwise Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
alrighty, thank you very much!
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:iconepoch615:
Epoch615 Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2014
Could these get put on FimFic or to get a full collection in mobi or epub format?  Calibre spazzes out on deviant art and  I'd much prefer to be able to read them on my kindle. (It's easier on the eyes, and portable).
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:iconxenomorphscar4:
xenomorphScar4 Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2013
No! Things were finally making sense! It's not fair... Lol exactly how felt when Discord was defeated.
Fluttercruel is so adorable.
One question pls
Reply
:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2013
For being the spawn of the pony equal to the devil, I find it interesting you find her adorable. What's the question?
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:iconxenomorphscar4:
xenomorphScar4 Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2013
Nvm it's the same q I asked earlier, she's not that evil, she seems more mischievous than cruel
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:iconjdts7:
jdts7 Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
so just to clarify: is this a DIRECT sequel to the epilogue or does this take place after the end of the episode?
Reply
:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2013
It doesn't take place DIRECTLY after the end of the epilogue chapter. You COULD say it's an alternate universe. BUt on the other hoof it's not. Have you check out the audio adaptions to the DIscord ponies and to this chapter?

But for sanity and simplicity's sake, you could say this takes place right after Return of Harmony but everything but Epilogue and Twilight's discording as in the POVs are canon.
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:iconjdts7:
jdts7 Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
so everything happened except discord winning

:iconmlpdiscordyuno1plz::iconmlpdiscordyuno2plz:
:iconmlpdiscordyuno3plz::iconmlpdiscordyuno4plz::iconsaysplz: I WAS THIS CLOSE!!!
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:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2013
Just wait till you read the Dark World saga.
Reply
:iconjdts7:
jdts7 Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
the anticipation! It Burns!
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:iconbattle154:
Battle154 Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2012
:clap:
Reply
:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2012
:-) THanks. I hope the rest of the series is fun too. :-)
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:iconbattle154:
Battle154 Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2012
Oh it is. :)
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:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2012
:-)
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:iconbattle154:
Battle154 Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2012
So. How are you?
Reply
:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2012
SO MUCH TO DO!
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:iconbattle154:
Battle154 Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2012
Really?
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:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2012
YES!
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(1 Reply)
:iconswedishdudefanfic:
Swedishdudefanfic Featured By Owner May 29, 2012
A personal question: Why is this chapter made in third person while the rest is made in first person? The third person view feels so much better to read in in my opinion :3
Reply
:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner May 29, 2012
Because a LOT OF PEOPLE told me that I write better in first person perspective.

And since I called the series 'POV' it made a little more sense.
Reply
:iconswedishdudefanfic:
Swedishdudefanfic Featured By Owner May 29, 2012
That is another thing (that might be a silly question, and sry in that case :/ ) What does POV stands for?

I personaly feel that a story with multiple main characters should be written in third-person, but who am I to judge? :3
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:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner May 29, 2012
Point Of View.

"I personaly feel that a story with multiple main characters should be written in third-person, but who am I to judge? :3"

Well everyone else seems to love it. And it makes things easier for the audio adaption crew.
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:iconkyonsylar:
KyonSylar Featured By Owner May 17, 2012
Just one thing, when i was deep reading to translate this chapter i read that both shy and cruel mentioned that they know the relation between pinkamina and pinkie, maybe i need to read the discorded series first, but its not to soon for both of them to know?
Or is it that they knew pinkamena in an alternative "Party for one" in this universe?
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:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner May 17, 2012
When I wrote this, I worked under the (I'll admit poorly thought out) assumption that after Party of One, that Pinkamena became common knowledge among the mane sense.
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:iconkyonsylar:
KyonSylar Featured By Owner May 17, 2012
I think i like that idea, that after Pinkie and her friends make "peace and party" she explained a little about that dark passager -as she told of her- that she was carrying from long ago.
Her friends just accepted that as one of many oddities that made pinkie what she is, and move on without giving it a second though.
That's it, until Discord escaped.
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:iconr1ck3t:
r1ck3t Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2012
Equestia <- Missing an 'r'

forced her <- Extra space

either celebrating the advert of eternal chaos <- 'advert' is short for 'advertisement', use 'aversion' to refer to avoiding something

everyone!" Fluttershy <- Extra space

hoofs <- Replace with 'hooves'

The reflection took on that same 'wrong kind of playful' expression and pose again. <- Since 'took' is in past tense, 'pose' should be 'posed'

It's funny how it's the fillies who need the most help are the ones who say they don't <- Strongly recommending to remove this, otherwise the sentence needs a lot of commas in order to make sense.
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:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2012
Using averting rather than advert.

The reflection took on that same 'wrong kind of playful' expression and pose again. <- Since 'took' is in past tense, 'pose' should be 'posed'

It just doesn't SOUND RIGHT when I read it out loud.
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:iconmattchilly:
mattchilly Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2012
i got one word for this... EPIC!
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:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2012
Thanks. :-) And it's not over yet.
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:iconmattchilly:
mattchilly Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2012
well i will just have to read em all!
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:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2012
Good luck.
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:iconmattchilly:
mattchilly Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2012
thanks
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:iconguilrel:
Guilrel Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2012
So that's how she did it and you did it in her character. Although I was a bit surprised that this was written in a more regular story telling style rather than the other point of views where where they were talking to themselves or out-right thinking about things.

I wonder if the Pearl thing you thought up was more or less inspired from the Legend of Mana Series. If it was I think I understand the titles better.

There's only one thing that bothered me grammar-wise and I think there's no other way to change it: It's this line here:
"You are such a scaredy-cat! It's hilarious!" Her reflection spoke and she heard herself say.
I would want to change the second sentence into "Her reflection spoke as she heard herself say." But that also sounds weird doesn't it?

Oh well it's still a nice story, so I managed to enjoy it. :nod:
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:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2012
And now it has an audio adaption in case you didn't know. [link]

"So that's how she did it and you did it in her character. "

Thanks! In-Character, that means just as much as continuity, actually they're one and the same when you think about it. Seriously, write original fiction if you can't keep the characters in character.

"Although I was a bit surprised that this was written in a more regular story telling style rather than the other point of views where where they were talking to themselves or out-right thinking about things. "

I've since been told I write better in POV style. Supposedly.

"I wonder if the Pearl thing you thought up was more or less inspired from the Legend of Mana Series. If it was I think I understand the titles better."

How do you figure it was from Legend of Mana?

Made that grammar edit you wanted.

"Oh well it's still a nice story, so I managed to enjoy it. :nod:"

Hope you manage to enjoy the rest :-)
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:iconguilrel:
Guilrel Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2012
And now it has an audio adaption in case you didn't know. [link]

Saw it already and the voice acting was pretty good. I'm so glad you developed such a following.

</i>Thanks! In-Character, that means just as much as continuity, actually they're one and the same when you think about it. Seriously, write original fiction if you can't keep the characters in character.</i>

I understand with Sarah and Michelle enough already. ^^; I think I was just honestly surprised that you know her so well, I guess. ^^;

I've since been told I write better in POV style. Supposedly.

Yeah you do sometimes It's just too bad and annoying that Equestria Daily hasn't accepted the story because of that. Although I don't normally go to this site anyway and I haven't checked the news of your story since your announcement that Rainbow's part was done.

How do you figure it was from Legend of Mana?

Well Pearls reminds me of, well, Pearl from Legend of Mana. When you finally discovered that she has a split personality side in the Jumi Arc, that personality was a tough as nails (dark?) action girl that was mostly the opposite of the real (or standard? It's been a long time since I played that game) Pearl. I got the feeling that FlutterCruel would do the same thing Dark Pearl does by temporarily controlling Pearl's body whenever you're in battle with her as your partner, which FlutterCruel actually did in Rainbow's True Reharmonizing chapter. Anyway, I think I'm basically saying that your title reminded me of this character especially due to dual similarities that both Fluttershy and Pearl had and experience in her arc.

Made that grammar edit you wanted.

I hope I didn't go to far by listing entire paragraphs for you to fix, I just thought it make things easier for you to find and make the grammar edit.

Hope you manage to enjoy the rest

Which I did as I made in almost all of my comments so far.
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:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2012
I understand with Sarah and Michelle enough already. ^^; I think I was just honestly surprised that you know her so well, I guess. ^^;

???

And I'm happy you put so much effort into helping the grammar.
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:iconkurseofkings:
KurseofKings Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2012
You know, its reasons like this that Fluttershy got the Element of Kindness...
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:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2012
You are absolutely positively right.

Of course, no mortal is meant to be only ONE trait. If you read on you'll see how Shy handles Cruel in the long run.
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:iconeric-emanwu:
eric-emanwu Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2011
The only major complaint I have about this chapter is the beginning. I just don't think the use of the word "And" is merited in this situation. Besides, until you can come up with a concrete way to link discorded and reharmonized ponies that line makes it seem more like a continuation than a new story (as you mentioned).

Other than that, this is probably one of my less favorite chapters, though with its strong points too. Perhaps part of it is that I have read ahead, and it’s hard for me to like on its own merits, maybe part of it is my lack of experience in actually watching The Return Of Harmony (Hype Aversion. I’m scared of what such a highly held episode will actually be like), and maybe part of it is that I actually don’t particularly care for “Fluttergirl”.

On the other hand, this does carry several neat tidbits floating around. You did a fine job foreshadowing a few things in this chapter, especially in regards to future chapters. You did a good job of capturing this timid yet determined character which is Fluttershy wrapped up in a ball of elder cuteness.

Actually, my favorite part of the story is how well you handled the reveal of “Cruel”, building up the mystery, working in the surprise, and finally leading up to that revealing, “Boo! Eeek!”

I also got a very nice “Green Goblin” vibe off the whole talking to a reflection you created, except in this case, the man on our side is stronger than they appear.

My other favorite part was this: "IT'S NOT NONSENSE!" The animals began to stir. Fluttershy quickly sang her trademark lullaby to get them to back to sleep.
Fluttershy turned to the mirror and her hoofs went to her ears, "Ick. How do your teeth not fall out when you sing that tripe?"
Fluttershy's face almost became The Stare (Stare herself? What would that do?). "It's not tripe. Now who are you really? There's no way you're me." (I actually do have an idea on what would happen if she stared herself. She’s the dominant being right now, so to stare herself might cause a perpetual bounceback, leading to a frozen function due to intimidating herself, ultimately leading to herself finally blinking out of necessity, and causing her inner being to EXPLODE!)

"Oh? What's that? 'Not a part of you?' An invader? Some faded leftover nightmare to vanish with the dawn? Some parasite maybe? Just a bad memory? A reminder to never let yourself get angry because I'll take control or something? Something that'll just 'be there' and never actually effect you?" (are you shooting down fan theories with this?)

Also on that note, is meeting Pinkamena canon, or your canon?

The other neat touch you mentioned was how ‘shy’s anger allowed her to save the day, and that perhaps this was your first meditation on how what can be perceived as “negative” might have a point.

And as much as the sweet fluff isn’t exactly to my taste (though I do enjoy it on occasion), the ending was really well done. After all, I thought pinkie had the monopoly on Singing enemies to death. Ah well. Good stuff.

-PS: told ya I’d get to it eventually.

-PPS: On a final note, if Cruel and Shy are of two minds in one body, how exactly do dreams work?
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:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2011
Your deep reviews are nothing short of overwhelming.

And yes I am going nuts but have NOT given up on how to connect the two timelines.

I'll agree right now the And doesn't stand very well.

Any edits or revisions you would consider offering? As a general rule I am ALWAYS happen when grammar or spelling errors are pointed out to me! Or changes to narrative or dialogue. Or suggestions to make things flow better.



"Other than that, this is probably one of my less favorite chapters,"

Any particular reason why?


"Perhaps part of it is that I have read ahead, and it’s hard for me to like on its own merits, maybe part of it is my lack of experience in actually watching The Return Of Harmony (Hype Aversion. I’m scared of what such a highly held episode will actually be like),"

Welcome to the sacred law of fanfiction. We're esoteric. Whether we want to be or not, or care to be or not. It's our curse. But seriously, you should bite the bullet and see it. Seriously. You should. I know it can never measure up to what you IMAGINE (I in particular think it would have been better as a three part story). But you should see it just so you know all the details.


"and maybe part of it is that I actually don’t particularly care for “Fluttergirl”."

And I wasn't able to MAKE YOU care for her? Dammit.

Pleased things worked out with the short build up to Shy's dark side.

And yeah, Hollow Ichigo and Green Goblin were my MAJOR inspiration for Cruel here.

And Shy having a dragon inside her is part of her character, the problem is that it's buried underneath all her cowardice.

"(I actually do have an idea on what would happen if she stared herself. She’s the dominant being right now, so to stare herself might cause a perpetual bounceback, leading to a frozen function due to intimidating herself, ultimately leading to herself finally blinking out of necessity, and causing her inner being to EXPLODE!)"

Twice.

(are you shooting down fan theories with this?)

Wasn't actually thinking of fan theories at the time. Just thinking of other answers that Fluttershy in denial could have grasped at.

Also on that note, is meeting Pinkamena canon, or your canon?

Pinkamena was still dominant when RD dragged her to her own birthday party.


The other neat touch you mentioned was how ‘shy’s anger allowed her to save the day, and that perhaps this was your first meditation on how what can be perceived as “negative” might have a point.

All emotions exist for a reason.

And as much as the sweet fluff isn’t exactly to my taste (though I do enjoy it on occasion), the ending was really well done. After all, I thought pinkie had the monopoly on Singing enemies to death. Ah well. Good stuff.

Not to death, but to submission at least.


-PS: told ya I’d get to it eventually.

Yes you did.

-PPS: On a final note, if Cruel and Shy are of two minds in one body, how exactly do dreams work?

I'm pretty sure they have separate dreams. It's perhaps the one piece of real privacy they have. Since I'm pretty sure they can hear each other's thoughts eventually. Maybe. Possible.

BUt back to your original question. Dreams are private experiences for them.

Thanks for the review. Merry Christmas. And thanks for being so deep.
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:iconpumpkin-tlof19:
pumpkin-tlof19 Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2011
Okay, let's try this again.
This is a very sweet chapter, and I'm pretty sure that's at LEAST 20% because Fluttershy is the central character for it. That being said, the major significant event that occurs here is that Fluttercruel is introduced, and the concept behind their interactions is explored enough that it will make sense throughout the series. There isn't anything inherently wrong with the chapter itself, and story-wise I can find nothing wrong here. However...I have to ask...is there a reason 'Cruel's style of speech keeps switching between Hannibal Lecter and Count Dracula? Looking forwards through the series, I notice that 'Cruel lays off the dramatic symbolism, except when she needs to be taken seriously or is trying to get the point across. The rest of the time she's either an exposition piece ("This has nothing to do with the old man!"), asking armor-piercing or mocking questions like she does here (when Fluttershy states that she knows who 'Cruel is), or else Gilda 2.0, and it all flows smoothly. The over-the-top symbolism is a little out of place here ("you will become the shadow and I the ego" seems somehow awkward). I'm wondering if you did that on purpose...
Anyways, great way to kick off the series, and I can't wait to do the next one. (It's another Rainbow Dash piece! Yay!) Hrm. Not bad, dude. Score: 9789: Late Nostalgia. (One of these days you'll realise I'm coming up with these titles off the top of my head, and then I'll get to do really weird stuff with the nonperfect ones. By the way, you got docked because of the unjustified awkwardness of Fluttercruel's speech patterns.)
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:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2011
I originally intended this to be the ONLY chapter of the Reharmonization series, then RD's chapter which was originally titled 'Last POV.'

'I have to ask...is there a reason 'Cruel's style of speech keeps switching between Hannibal Lecter and Count Dracula? '

Her original interactions were based on those of Ichigo and Hollow Ichigo from the Bleach anime. With pieces of the movie version of the Green Goblin sprinkled in.

She at first toys with Fluttershy, fully confident in getting 'her back body.' After being humiliated by Fluttershy, she drops her ominous and dramatic persona, and becomes a lot more direct and concise. She gained back the comfort she felt during that time at the end of Black Pearls wanting all debts paid. Only to lose when things didn't go as planned. But she later find true inner truth.

I do little 'on purpose' I simply trying to let things flow naturally except when I had an idea for some really good dialogue I wrote down earlier and need to connect them together (this happens a lot). But this was done in one sitting so everything has ONE flow. Something I like about any of my stories I manage to do.

And the reveal of the truama Dashie suffers next has shock waves through most of the series.
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:iconpumpkin-tlof19:
pumpkin-tlof19 Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2011
Re: Original Intentions
This was nearly a missed moment of awesome. I find myself praising the inspiration elders (a sort of elder god that works in art) for not allowing such a travesty to occur. Huzzah random inspiration, you made something of win.
hrm...anyways.

Re: Cruel
The toying was natural, and blends well with her rather sarcastic and coy behavior in general. When she snarks, she snarks, but when she's serious, expect armor piercing questions, that's 'Cruel in a nutsh..ell...I just realized, that statement is horrifying when it shouldn't be. That kind of sucks. ANyways. The evolution chain is clearly visible, now that I look back...then again, hindsight IS twenty-twenty. In most cases. (Yeah, I'll do RD at some point.)

You and I have a lot in common; when I have an idea, I type it out until I've exhausted my train of thought, and then I look back to try and inspire more. I also piece in really good dialogue; case in point, the climax fight. You know which one.

OH, I can hardly wait for the Dash review...it'll take a bit, same as everything else, but it'll happen. Talking of reviews taking a bit, I have more than one that needs to happen, meaning I need to stop commenting for a bit. Comment end.
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:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2011
"Re: Original Intentions
This was nearly a missed moment of awesome. I find myself praising the inspiration elders (a sort of elder god that works in art) for not allowing such a travesty to occur. Huzzah random inspiration, you made something of win.
hrm...anyways."

Let's hope that the series doesn't overstay it's welcome before the finale arch is reached. I have a lot of character driven side stories to complete first that don't have the fate of Equestria on the line. And instead just deals with looking at the pony's attitudes now that the dust has settled.
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:iconpumpkin-tlof19:
pumpkin-tlof19 Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2011
I doubt it. I mean, you've got a load of friends already, and many of your chapters could potentially stand alone (Like the first Rainbow Dash reharm), so I think as long as new stuff goes up, people will read it. That being said, *enters playfully disgruntled mode* revealing that Discord was back and then doing absolutely nothing with him was a mean, if effective, way of keeping people expectant. Grr. Rargh. *leaves playfully disgruntled mode* So here's to the next chapter! Critic will go up as soon as I wake up in the morning. Because yes, it IS a Christmas present. Talking of which, I have a surprise to prepare for someone!
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:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2011
Good luck dude.

And I hope my army of character driven chapters/episodes don't drive you away before Discord's big game.
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