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Pony Cervicorn POV Series
Makarov Arc
The True and Ultimate Truth of True Events
Starring, Directed and Edited and Produced By General-Admiral Solomon Azure Raven Makarov

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): Hey, give that back! We haven't even got past the title and you've got at least three things wrong!)

No,  you have got it backwards: it is you idiots that have been wrong the ENTIRE TIME! You should be thankful I am finally able to correct your screw ups! And now for a true introduction! Ah, but I shall require fitting music, that describes me and is a suitable backing force for my triumphant introduction!

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): 'Asshole' by Denis Leary?)

Fool, I am not a donkey! Aha, the national anthem, of course! The Hooviet March! You shall play this song as I enter!

Our Hooviet Empire subjugates the whole world
Like a gigantic Bear from the West
The ponies wander aimlessly, without any cause,
Yet the Hooviet Deer's on the hunt...

I am General-Admiral Solomon Azure Raven Makarov, Hero of the Hooviet Empire, Grand Marshall and Supreme Commander of the Imperial Armed Forces, and soon, Premier of the Empire and of All the World! Conqueror of All Nations, Defeater of the Gods and Destroyer of the Alicorns! The few of you who do not know of my glory and my fame - I am here to educate you.

And not before time! You have wasted months following the lies of the Equestrian propaganda machine. Now, the truth shall be free to... freely... be free!

The truth began thirty years ago, following our victory against the Dragons. We had suffered severe losses in our triumph, of course, and the Hooviet Council decided that they needed to create the perfect generals to ensure that the already-perfect army was to be led by the best - for even the best trained officer could make mistakes when handed power. No, what was needed was the perfect blend of fighter and leader, built, born, bred and trained for the role.

And the project was a success! Combining the magical strengths of otherwise inferior Unicorns with the natural leadership and other superior talents of the Roe Deer, the Zontik Biomagical Research Bureau's project codenamed "Les Enfants Splendide" created thirty superior soldiers. The greatest amongst them - Me! The project was a hundred percent successful, yet with I, it was a hundred and fifty percent successful!

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Fascinating...)

But of course. Why, you should have been talking to me from the start. This whole story should only ever speak to its hero, General-Admiral Makarov!

Pony POV Series
Shining Armor Arc
Chapter 16.5
The Story of Makarov

Ha, I am not surprised Solomon is lying already. Of course, some are obvious, but others require context.  He's correct the Hooviet leadership wanted supersoldiers... but they were desperate. They wanted generals powerful enough to rule by power and fear. And yes, they were dumb enough to think they could control them.

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Wait, what happened to the 'think like a Hooviet' thing?)

Mother Deer told us you three were safe and we could drop it for this.

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Oh...Continue.)

It's my understanding you know what should have happened. But for what did happen, well, it's close in all but the parts that matter. Solomon was telling the truth when he said the Zontik Bureau led the project for supersoldiers. He declines to mention that the projects were all centralised at Chernobull to ensure each was easy for them to inspect all at once.

Yes, I'm serious. They put their eggs in one basket out of sheer laziness. Supersoldiers, superweapons, advanced conventional weapons. No wonder spies were all over it. And Mother Deer help them if the supersoldiers HAD rebelled right there. The project was not "the splendid children" as he claims. It was officially just Project Hybrid. It had less flattering nicknames amongst the research teams. The terrible children, the abominations, the mistakes.

And even with him trying to claim otherwise, the project only bore thirty of a hundred. Their forced hybrids included species other than unicorns, even an attempt at a true Father Deer. That went wrong of course. Let's just say that it had too many of a lot of things, including bullet holes and dead bodies, but excluding things like sapience and sanity.

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Well, at least it's dead, I was afraid he'd make Shining have to fight it…)

And that was really the best result they should have had with the technology and magic that exists - even using surrogates like they did should have failed. They should have got nothing trying for lab-grown hybrids. There's only one method around that can successfully create hybrids right now.

(Interviewer's Notes (Earth Pony): An' what is it?)

Sexual intercourse, of course. Though personally I've yet to even see a unicorn remotely attractive enough to consider the prospect. And the natural method, as well as probably being much simpler, messier, and more fun for both involved, won't result in a super soldier any more than a Hippogriff or a Virgacorn is a supersoldier.

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): Is it also the case that such cross-species relationships are prohibited?)

Yes. Violently so. He'll gloat about it at some point I'm sure.

The project, however, had other faults. They killed any females, and the non-Cervicorns all had severe genetic instabilities and died before the age of ten. And the ones they did have, well, they didn't end well either.

Oh, and one last thing about his lies there: He isn't a donkey, but he is a jackass.

...And that is how I won the national science fair aged three!

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): That makes even less sense to us and we heard the story.)


(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Nothing. Continue, Your Generalness? We'd really rather hear of your military... exploits, if we're honest.)

Excellent, you wish to hear the fun parts! As you will know, the Mosroe Hooviet Military Academy is the finest training establishment on the planet, and you will also know I am the youngest graduate! I left with a university-level education aged just sixteen! When Shining Armor was sixteen, he was a mere cadet! I trained longer and harder than any other soldier on the planet to reach where I was, four years of intense training, and ten years of self-education before that!

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): But six years of official training... That's impressive!)

Okay, let's see, officers in Equestria technically train from age twelve, graduate at eighteen as officers. Six years. Oh, and other nations prefer officers with college or university educations so that counts technically. He's talking confirmable nonsense, as usual.

And Mosroe Hooviet is... Well, it's not exactly great compared to foreign academies. Too much by-the-book obedience was encouraged. Too much study of the previous tactics and planning to reuse them. The High Command wanted to encourage yes-bucks who stayed in line because then it was easy to take care of tall poppies, and easy to pluck out whichever officer they wanted to pretend to mentor and groom as a future colonel.

Indeed, it is most impressive. But this was just the start of a glittering career! Promoted straight to Captain-Lieutenant as part of Spetznaz, where I served with distinction for a year, until the sabotage disrupted the peace!

Feel honored! The information I am about to provide you with is highly classified! You should be most grateful I am willing to disclose it to you wretches!

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Oh thank you, your Generalness, for the exclusive information.)

Equestrian and Columbian propaganda says Chernobull exploded by our own folly, but the truth is that glorious facility was sabotaged! As the great Hooviet Empire was at the height of its progress, other nations looked upon us with envious eyes and sought to ruin our prosperity!

Chernobull tragically exploded, killing a great many noble scientists and soldiers! I cannot tell you the unspeakable sorrow I felt seeing the symbol of hope to our brave Empire destroyed before my eyes! But I bravely persevered and went about rescuing the personale!

But this blow to the glorious Empire would not go unpunished! The insidious perpetrators were discovered to be hiding in Krakozhia.

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Let me guess, by you?)

Of course! I discovered one of the terrorists fleeing the scene of the crime! I bravely captured him with my barehooves, even though he had a stolen Rhino Tank and interrogated him to get him to reveal the true location of the masterminds of this insidious plot!

We nobly mobilized our counter offensive and launched our invasion of Krakozhia. The campaign was hard fought and bloody, but in the end we were victorious, in no small part thanks to my efforts. Sadly, ten of my brave fellow hybrids fell in the act, but their sacrifice was not in vain and preserved the Greater Good! In the end, my exploits earned my promotion to Major-Captain!

Naturally we showed the Krakozhians mercy. Ungrateful swine responded with constant terrorist attacks and rebellions. But what would you expect from a bunch of savages?

About the only truth Solomon told there was that Chernobull exploded. To start, the majority of the Hooviet Empire didn't even know that Chernobull existed, which naturally makes it quite difficult for it to be a symbol of anything. And most of the surviving Hybrids in this line were rather unhappy with how they were treated there. I imagine that they secretly cheering to see the place where they'd spent much of their lives experimented on go up in flames.

As for ponies dying, he is telling the truth, naturally, but Solomon was more focused on looking heroic than actually acting the part. Not to mention the deer at Chernobull who are worse than dead because of the thing that would become him.

The Terrorists? Do I even need to answer that? Chernobull was desperately performing dangerous experiments involving unstable generators and enough munitions to fight a couple wars. It was a wonder it hadn't exploded sooner. I imagine the 'terrorist' was either one of the numerous spies that had infiltrated Chernobull or sprung into existence because Solomon needed a 'villain' to capture.

The real reason Krakozhia was invaded is quite simple: good old Hooviet imperialism. "Our Hooviet Empire subjugates the whole world" isn't a boast, it's a goal, and the explosion of Chernobull was merely their excuse to restart their conquests.

As for Solomon's 'noble war,' calling it a 'conflict' is being too generous. A massacre is the correct term. Solomon didn't lead a special forces team, he lead a death squad. True, ten of his fellow hybrids were killed and the Krakozhians did try to fight back, but in all likelihood, Solomon himself was responsible for their deaths. After all, Solomon wanted to be special, how could he be if there were others supposedly just like him?

Mercy? I would laugh if it weren't such a cruel joke. The Krakozhians were conquered, subjected, and made into scapegoats. Anything that went wrong could be blamed on the 'known terrorists.' Mercy isn't in Solomon's vocabulary.  

And that is how I became Mr. Hooviet Empire for the fifth consecutive time!

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): I wish we could unsee those pictures of you in tights...)

Yes, they could have done a much better job capturing my stunning body. But it is hard to capture perfection, after all.

Now we move to my glorious rise to power truly beginning! At aged eighteen I was made head of a security detail as we began rising from the ashes of Chernobull. There I met my mentor, the distingished Lieutenant-General Yevgeny Borisovitch Volgin. The Lieutenant-General was at the forefront of our weapons development programs. It was he who inspired my wonderful Shagohods, though I naturally immensely improved on his designs. I learned much from him, including my incredible mastery of thunder!

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Then why didn't you use it when Thunderchild fried you in Columbia?)

That was another of my amazing robots, my designers merely forgot to install the lightning redirector! It is their fault and they have been properly punished!

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Then why didn't it short circuit and explode if a gun could shoot the head off-)

Silence! You are ruining my train of thought, wretch!

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): Please continue, General-Admiral. You were talking about your mentor.)

Gladly. Volgin rightfully believed our weapons development should be at the forefront of the Hooviet Empire's efforts, as did Major-General Admiral Dragovich and Colonel-Captain Kravcehnko, two smug and arrogant officers. They believed they were smarter than me, or Volgin! Perish the thought! Their ideas were all absurd and pointless things, but they believed they were the future of the Hooviet Empire. Needless to say, myself and Volgin outshined them, as we rightfully should!

This would eventually push them to desperation, and they perished from their own arrogance when their dangerous inventions backfired upon them.

Mr. Hooviet Empire? Sadly, that actually happened. Don't forget, Solomon can make others admire him despite all logic and say 'I am stronger than you' to anyone not protected from his power. If you think the pictures are bad, you should see the calender photos.

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Which month?)

All of them.

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): ...Even the swimsuit pictures?)


(Interviewer's Notes (Earth Pony): This is why everypony should just go around naked!)

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): ...His ego is the size of the Hooviet Empire.)

You're only realizing this now? As for the rest, he is naturally lying about Columbia, or at least when it happened it was truly him and now it wasn't. Volgin was indeed Solomon's 'mentor' as he put it, but Volgin was an insane lunatic while Dragovich and Kravcehnko were rather sensible bucks. Well, as sensible as two Hooviet officials attempting to build weapons of mass destruction could be. Their ideas were more practical and made more sense than Volgin's. They included poison gas.

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): You mean…)

Yes, Solomon stole their ideas and made them even more heinous. I said they were more practical, not that they were less vicious. Volgin inspired Solomon's tripods in name only, his own version was a massive tank that used screw propulsion. This means in place of treads, it has two large screws that revolved to make it move forwards. This turned out to be considerably less practical than simple treads, particularly with the massive weapons it was equipped with.

As for the 'accident' that claimed their lives, they perished when their gas weapons sprung a leak during a demonstration, killing not only them but either killing or injuring many others, including several of his fellow hybrids. Considering he desired their plans to be his own, you can assume what truly happened.

...and that is how I became a the youngest Sambo Uchitel in history!

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): We'll take your word for it. We don't know much about Sambo...and you probably know even less.)

What was that?

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): Nothing.)

I began taking part in covert operations. Infernal terrorists such as those who Shining Armor had allied with were a thorn in the Empire's side even back then! My early missions were tracking down and destroying these dogs wherever such evils may hide, with a one hundred percent success rate! But there was no time to celebrate, as the terrorists launched an all or nothing assault, this time on our own facility! But thankfully, I was head of the guard detail this time! The attack was stopped in it's tracks by my brilliance! I was even able to work alongside with Dragovich and Kravchenko during the onslaught!

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Uh. Weren't they dead?)

No you, fools! They were not dead yet!

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Well it sounded lik-)

Now, where was I?! Oh yes! I was rewarded for humbly and nobly putting aside our differences and working together to save the facility!

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Do you have a thesaurus?)

No, why do you ask?

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): You're running out of new words to call yourself awesome with.)

Ah! Good point. There can never be enough words for that purpose!

After that victory, I began to hunt down the last remnants of the terrorists. In the process, I uncovered a nest of monsters - Insectoid freaks who dared masquerade as a normal species! Though weak, they had a good intelligence network. They did not pose very much of a threat, reliant mostly on a single powerful leader for their strength. Still, with our main threat in disarray, I expended some small resources on them. They were not worth a full-scale assault, but I had to root out their spies around the world and remove them: effortless even with the few resources I spared!

We then launched a raid to draw out their Queen, who I defeated personally. We suffered heavy casualties as their army began to beat themselves against us. This was the plan, for it had all been a feint: My small force reduced to myself and a few survivors allowed our gas weapons to be deployed unimpeded, the monsters too distracted by the thought of their decimated ranks overpowering us in revenge to notice they were already dead!

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Ugh... Uh, I mean, excuse me for a moment...)

I take it Solomon is becoming annoying.

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): How'd you tell?)

It appears you've been beating your head against a wall recently. Solomon tends to have that effect on anyone who can see through his spell.

Solomon's claim of becoming a Sambo Uchitel anywhere near his teen years would be an impossibility for anyone else. Sambo ranking revolves around competition, not just training. For example, to become a Grand Master, one rank below that, he would need to be a multiple time world champion. And a Uchitel? You need to train others in Sambo to at least a Grand Master rank.

As for the 'terrorists,' those existed, but they weren't us, they were Drumstrang rebels. The Hooviets are tyrants, it is only natural for rebellions to rise up. Sadly, Solomon tells the truth that he tried crushing the rebellions. While he couldn't permanently stamp out all rebellion (in part thanks to Mother Deer's protection to groups such as us), at the time there was little to stop him. All that could be done was inconvenience him until Captain Sparkle entered the picture. As he did when I shot him, any actual attempt to kill Solomon only hit a robotic version of himself, if they get that far.

The second terrorist attack also happened, but 'working' with those two consisted of 'mentally force them to bow to his orders so he can look amazing.'

A nest of monsters? Well, he did test a lot of gas weapons back then, but the ones he used the first time lingered too long. Whatever was there, the area was sealed off. We tried to examine the area but it was like the ground itself leaked poisons. Our scouts had to leave.

My guess is he actually botched his test, killed dozens of his own troops, and pretended they were alien monsters to make the higher-ups thank him. All with a place where they can't get any evidence because he's poisoned it. But if there was something there I imagine he probably absorbed their Queen if she existed - he'd not pass up a chance like that. And he probably gassed his own troops all the same. Why leave witnesses?

(Interviewer’s Notes (Unicorn): Except it makes absolutely no sense. Not from reality nor from himself. If they really were something he had made up, he would have spent forever listening to himself speak about how they were clearly a danger to the world and he had valiantly obliterated such an ‘evil threat.’  He spoke of them like a triviality, an after thought, something that wasn’t worth even a full paragraph of his time. In other words, something that wasn’t related to him. He spoke about it like it was some brush-off fact, something tacked on, or something he had wanted to be just ‘tacked on,’ rather than a part of his narrative. It would be something he WANTED to be trivialized. The question is why?)

Maybe you should ask why he kept it hidden if it was such a success.

Anyway, we were discussing my awesomeness...

(Interviewer’s Notes (Unicorn): Excuse me, General-Admiral, but the event with the nest of monsters, may I ask why you did not publicise it? It just seems strange such a success isn't better known.)

Alas, such is the nature of heroism and the covert world that we must descend into in the name of protecting the greater good! Those creatures had a vast intelligence network, and though we were confident we had wiped them out, it was for the benefit of the greater good the matter remained hidden. We recovered the intelligence their Queen gathered... You might say, I consolidated it into my own. A more public revelation of the events would diminish our victory - and some of the weaker minded fools in the world may have objected. But they were dangerous, every last one! Removing them silently was a boon to the world, letting us use their treacherously stolen information for a noble cause!

(Interviewer’s Notes (Pegasus): But surely there were civilians.... )

Nonsense, there were no true civilians. Just agents not on any mission at the time! They all died! In battle, or assassinated, or gassed! Every soldier was slain by me and my forces! Every spy eliminated! Every one of their reserves, your so-called civilians, was gassed.

"It's so sad," Bon Bon said.

"Yes so sad," Lyra replied. "That Moth had to die from gas."

"What gas?! Lyra! Bon Bon! I'm right here!" Moth shouted at them, waving her hooves in front of them. It was like she was invisible.

"Wish I could hear her voice again," Bon Bon sighed.

"You can hear me! I'm right here! Bon Bon! Can't you feel me?!" Moth tried to touch her sister, but it was like Moth was smoke. It had been a normal day in Ponyville, the three of them had been out shopping for supplies to Bon Bon's candy shop to try and give some competition to the Cakes when suddenly everypony she tried to talk to began speaking about her in third person that she was dead!

Moth was worried she was dead. She felt her pulse, she felt hot, cold, scared. If this was death, then where was Queen Rosedust to welcome her into joining the collective-mind of the eternal swarm? Or why wasn't she standing before the Queens of old in judgement for her life's contribution to the hive?

Bon-Bon and Lyra went back to their cooking, having no idea why they had suddenly brought up Moth's death tragic death by gas. Gas? What gas? What gas had ever been- Moth died from gas! - yes, Moth died from gas. It was so sad.

Moth cried. No one could hear her.

(Interviewer's Notes (Earth Pony): But, this didn't happen before.)

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): It's happening now... He says they all died, they all died... Even the ones that weren't there, or weren't found by his spies.)

How does 'my incomprehensible intellect' sound?

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Peachy, now please move on.)

Gladly. The civil war in Kundu soon erupted once again and the Hooviet Empire was happy intervene. I served with distinguished service and we managed to buy peace where all others failed! Only the glorious Hooviet Empire could perform such an amazing feat!

It was in no small part due to my amazing talents as a leader and my combat skills that saw much use in quelling such a long, bloody war! I was unstoppable on the battlefield! None could match my incredible fighting skills! Any who challenged me were crushed beneath my hooves!

But my diplomatic skills were even more important, as this was undeniably a peace keeping mission. With my brilliance, the Hooviet Empire soon secured not only peace, but the favor of the Kundu government!

'Incomprehensible intellect?' Well, his thought process is certainly impossible to comprehend, but that's more due to it coming from dozens of stolen consciencenesses than actually being intelligent.

Kundu? The Columbians and Equestrians actually had peacekeeping efforts well in hoof at the time, the Hooviets were the ones who set off tensions again to begin with, and Solomon himself was right at front of it.

While there would still have been violence without Solomon, it is quite likely that the war would've ended far earlier without his existence. Not only that, thanks to Hooviet intervention, the the New World Order party came to power in the end.

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): And they literally tore the democratic government to pieces?)

Correct, how did you know?

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): A pony in Shining's group lost some penpals there.)

Ah, I see. Minority control parties are weakened and splitered into no threat to the government. And any threatening opposing faction springs up outside the government begins growing powerful and unifying force? They make them a scapegoat for the lesser groups to tear apart and keep their hooves clean.

But as for his diplomatic skills? Well, he DID stop the war...when it suited him. As you can assume, Solomon could've used his powers to stop it at any time. I assume he stopped it because only being involved in one or two conflicts in his entire career wouldn't be 'illustrious' enough for his ego.

...and that how to properly remove a unicorn's horn to use as a power supply.

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): T-Thanks...Please, move on…)

Hehe, what is wrong? You appear to have seen a ghost. Or are you jealous your inferior race lacks the same utility to my regime?

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): Its nothing General, please stop allowing us to distract the readers from your greatness.)

Ah, yes, must not allow that, can we? It was not long until a dragon, bitter at his species loss to us, dared launch an onslaught on Hooviet soil!

In accordance with her treaties, Queen Tiamat had no choice but to allow me to lead a group to repel the rogue beast! Our Mammoth Tanks were yet to be field tested so I had no choice but to lead an outgunned force against insurmountable odds! Taking on a moving mountain of flesh and bone with weapons that could do little more than tickle the titan! But in the end, my brilliant tactics and immense power forced the beast into retreat! I personally dealt the final blow with a beam of pure magic that it could do nothing against!

However, I did spare the dumb beast's life. An act of unheard of mercy to such an enemy. Especially when I was the sole survivor on my side of the battle!

I don't blame you for being so disturbed, the process is quite horrifying to witness.

As for the dragon, that did happen and Tiamat's treaty does state that if her children attack unprovoked, the target may defend themselves. But I imagine the dragon either didn't previously exist or was being influenced by Solomon's powers. I assume you already know that the dragons won the original war, correct?

(Interviewer's Notes (Earth Pony): Shining explained it pretty well!)

Good. So I don't need to go over the details. But the point is a Dragon wouldn't be bitter over a war they won. Though I can't say one might not be upset at having lost a family member or friend die in the war. Still it is unlikely one would have attacked the Hooviets that long after the war. Especially after Tiamat already declared the war was done.

As for him being the one to repel the dragon, that is partly true. Solomon did lead the group into the battle, but his 'tactics' consisted of sending his entire force at the dragon head on and allowing them to both wear it down and be wiped out so he could end the battle himself and take all the credit as his own.

Also, the Mammoth Tanks could likely have been made available easily, but it wouldn't make Makarov look as impressive if he didn't do it personally, could he?

It is about this time that Dragovich and Kravchenko met their untimely ends by their own irresponsible experiments. Sadly it also cut the careers and lives of many of my fellow hybrids who were maimed by the accident as well. I was able to put aside my rivarly to humbly attend their funerals and deliver a stirring speech.

Though I will admit that it was not entirely their fault. We discovered sinister spies from Ruritania were involved in sabotage of the experiment! There I commanded the 667th Shock Fleet-Army in yet another stunning campaign!  

But tragically, more and more of my fellow hybrids met their demise at the hooves of insidious Ponisan assassins! But they could not harm ME! Seven of them tried at once but did not so much as draw blood! I crushed them with the effort you would crush a fly and left them broken on a battlefield!

For my valor and amazing exploits, I was promoted to Colonel-Captain after the war!

Unfortunately, with the deaths of so many of my fellow hybrids, only two remained! Myself and the only other cervicorn that ever managed to come close to my greatness, Yeretik!

But sadly, not everydeer can handle greatness! Yeretik grew power hungry, violent, and bitter as my star rose brighter and brighter! He joined in a group of terrorists in an attempt to undermine the Hooviet Government!

His treachery was only discovered when we were both Lieutenant Colonel-Captain and the stage was set for a spectacular showdown!

He begain by striking down my entire squad with one devastating spell! But I had no time to mourn their death! Even with their blood running freely at my hooves, I tried to plead with the only one who came close to resembling my perfection! But sadly, they fell on deaf ears and we clashed fiercely, devastating the surrounding area with our almighty power!

But in the end, I stood victorious and ran Yeretik through with my antlars! I did recieve minor burns in the struggle, but it is to be expected when two mighty foes meet!

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Having a few singe marks doesn't mean you're not a Mare-ty Stu…)

What was that?

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): Nothing…Continue)

Volgin remained my mentor throughout all of this, becoming Supreme Marshal of the Hooviet Empire, but it was not to last. He was tragically taken from me. He died of a sudden heart attack shortly after retiring and bequeething the position of Supreme Marshal! On orders from Father Deer, he was given a full state funeral with honors, organized by me of course. I even presided over the event myself.

We covered Dragovich and Kravchenko earlier, to my knowledge he hasn't changed that story from what I've already stated. I'm honestly impressed he actually got the date correct instead of moving their deaths back in time to make up for his slip up.

As for Ruritania, it was much the same story as Krakozhia: making the target of their expansionist ideology a scapegoat for a product of Hooviet stupidity or Solomon's manipulations to justify their invasion.

The assassins? Well, they COULD have been real, the Hooviets were never exactly popular world wide. But Ponisa always denied involvement. But considering Solomon wanted to be unique and can bend reality to his whims, you can guess what I think actually happened.

Yeretik? There is a name I haven't heard in a long time. Yeretik was indeed the last surviving hybrid after Solomon, but he wasn't a terrorist anymore than I was. He was my predecessor so to speak. He did have Mother Deer's blessing to protect himself from Solomon's control, but Captain Sparkle is still the only one who stands a chance of defeating Solomon in a fight. Yeretik was a good buck, but he wasn't able to stop Solomon.

As for Volgin's heart attack and speedy burial: Solomon can't be the big guy on top with someone above him, now can he?

And that's the process by which my Alicorn Cyborgs were created...My, you three look a little sick to your stomachs. Did I disturb you?

(Interviewer's Notes (Earth Pony): A-A little…)

Too bad. Now that I have told you my past, it is time I tell you what is coming nex-

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): Actually, if you don't mind, could you tell us about your family a little? You haven't told us much about them.)

Oh yes, my loving family! Forgive me, it is all so very tragic!

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): What? That you have to admit an 'inferior unicorn' is your mother?)

No. I was conceived via in-vitro fertilization! The unicorn was little more than my egg doner! And even then, it was a SUPERIOR inferior unicorn!

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): ...Please excuse me for a second. I'm going to step into the hallway and scream.)

Ah, overcome by my brilliance, that happens all the time. Now where was I? Oh yes. My TRUE mother was a noble Roe Deer, as was my father! My father was also a great member of the Hooviet armed forces and descendant of the royal house of Makarov!! It is only natural that to breed a great leader you choose one to be the father! As for my mother, she was a brilliant scientist and one of the Hooviet Empire's tactical minds! On both sides I am filled with noble blood of great Hooviets!

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): Technically speaking, you don't have any of your mother's genes, since your egg came from a unicorn and not her.)

SILENCE! Do not mock my glorious mother!

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): I wasn't, I was only saying that-)

My mother fell ill and died a few years later, before I could even know her! Tragically cut down by illness! I cannot tell you the tragedy I felt when she passed away!

But I was not alone any longer! My younger brother was born shortly before our mother's unfortunate demise! We grew closer and closer to both one another and our father. I could have been a vain and selfish deer and blamed him for our mother's death on him, but I am humble Cervicorn who would never think to do such a thing!

My brother was the result of another Hooviet Project: Selective Breeding! He became a true soldier as he grew older! He was fiercely loyal to the Hooviet Empire! A true patriot! And while not nearly as smart as me, a brilliant tactical mind. He was a wonderful right hoof to my intellect. He would become an agent of the GRU later in life.

I loved my brother dearly and he idolized me! I was his hero! As I should be! I was a fantistic older brother! No one could ask for a better one than me!

Sadly, shortly after Ruritania, our family lost another member in our father. His only regret is that he did not fall in glorious battle!

It was not the last tragedy our family would suffer! While infiltrating Yeretik's insidious band, he was sadly discovered and murdered! I personally avenged his death by executing his murderers with my own two hooves!

It was no easy task to move on! I had lost all the family I had ever known. You cannot imagine the suffering I experienced! It was the most horrible thing you could ever imagine! You my tears were like rivers! But I moved on and continued to rise like the star I have always been!

So that's the story he's using now?

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Now?)

Yes, he has around thirty five at last count. Number ten is actually somewhat tolerable.

(Interviewers Notes (Earth Pony): What is it?)

It involves dragons, a lost treasure, and three helicopters. Or five helicopters, depends on his mood.

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): How so?)

In the one with three helicopters he's outnumbered and looks more impressive.

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): Wait...didn't his parents die in separate places?)

Not in Solomon's imagination most of the time. The one I remember most is claiming Equestrians murdered them. The actual story is that he needed a tragic back story for sympathy, so he had them both covertly murdered.

(Interviewers Notes (Unicorn): He...he murdered his own parents?)

You're right to be horrified, but don't forget that the thing that calls itself Solomon was just using them to progress its own 'story.' They meant nothing to it, no more than a child's toys mean to them.

Their names were Rasputin and Anastasia Makarov, and they were more or less as he said they were, but Anastasia wasn't given the credit her intelligence deserved. The Hooviets are patriarchal, so to his credit, Solomon has given her more credit than history actually did.

As for his brother...I am afraid that is classified information, even for you. But I will say this much. That isn't how he died.

So, now it is time to find out how this story will end.

(Interviewer's Notes (Earth Pony): You don't know that.)

Hehe, but I do. Because there is no other way for it TO end. My incredible brilliance can not be defeated! My army cannot fall! My great warship Daedalus is invincible! The world will be mine! All mine!

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Drop the act, 'Makarov.' We know everything about what you really are.)

Really? Hehe...Then I guess I can indulge you a little.

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Uh...did he always have sharp teeth?)

I am about to write MY ending for this story. Tell me, what is the one thing that stands in my way right now?

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Shining Armor.)

Exactly. And soon, even he will not be able to resist me! And he will play his role perfectly. No more delusions of being the hero. He will be MY villain, my final foe! And when he lays bleeding and crushed to death beneath my hooves, this story will be mine, now and forever!

Now...this conversation has made me a little hungry. Please excuse me while I go get a...bite to eat.
"Greeting comrade! The owner of this web account is currently wallowing in his own worthlessness, insignificance, and triviality to the cosmos, and that his thoughts and words hold no value to anyone, and that all he can do is alienate everyshadow around him again and again, and again, and again, and again. And his actions have only value as a faceless nameless cog, oh I'm sorry, how very rude of me! You all came here to read about ME of course! How could I be so ignorant! My apologizes! Shadows are who write forwards that are longer than the character are such wretched creatures. But it doesn't matter now.

I am the main character of this story! Everything has been a built up to about me! Like John Galt in Atlas Shrugged, or Orested of Live-A-Live I have now become the center of the plot! Behold! My greatness! I am the knight of the greater good! I am he who shall break the world and bend it to my ideal. Though endless toil and strife I have climbed to the top of my class, against prejudices against my hybrid status I become the greatest of our glorious empire, through tragic losses, through humble beginnings, and one heroic but difficult battle after another, I've fogught, and fought, and kept on fighting! but I am more than a general, I am an engineer, a composer, a dancer, a musician, a historian, a scientist, a level 400 black-belt, and a level 30-mage, and a anbu-elite ninja, I have a stronger and wider perception of magic than any pony! I can counter-act the stare reducing it's users to frothing at the mouth vegetables, I can negate the use of the Element of Harmony with a stern 'No!' I can reverse an anti-magic binding place on myself to everyone in room and tell Celestia just how she is the PICTURE of incompetence, inability to learn from her mistake, and refusal to accept her own imperfection and failures! I am the Cervicorn! I am how the world shall change! I will be the one to teach them how blind and arrogant they've been! And all will love my rightfully earned greatness unlike the Alicorns who had everything handed to them! GLORY TO FATHER DEER! GLORY TO THE HOOVIET EMPIRE! GLORY TO ME!"

Story Arc written by LZ0291 With help from Kendell2

"ALSO! By order of the Hooviet Secret Police, you are expected to edit to the tropes page in honor of the glory I have brought to the Hooviet Empire!"…

Previous Chapter:…

Next Chapter:…

First Chapter:…

MLP: FiM is copyright of Hasbro

Image By Kendell2…

20140406: Due to demands by LZ, this chapter has been edited. 
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The chapter begins with Makarov taking over the title and trying to tell his own story. And hey he is basically the son of the Goddess of Imagination, so he should be able to tell a story, at least a cohesive one. And the story he tells is truer then true. Yes, most of it is false but we are getting ahead of ourselves. The beginning is the obviously evil Hooviet March and then Solomon introduces himself with a title so long and over the top that it is THREE TIMES as long as Princess Loving-Bright-Shinny-Star Sparkling-Dawn-Flower The Eighty-Eight. The part about the victory against the dragons is apparently a lie since it is said later on that the dragons did still win this battle. This is one of the biggest problems with reality rewrites as massively as Makarov does them: It can get hard to understand what did really happen and what was retconed out of existence. We were told that the dragons won in an earlier chapter but in this very chapter we are hit by such a massive retcon that it becomes hard to trust on what was established so far. We lose a lot of the nice world building if something like this happens.

The half-deer is also clearly racist towards unicorns, utterly ironic since his body is partly unicorn but then again he actually is an imagination thing so I guess a Draconequus like Discord or Pandora would be the closest thing he actually has to a relative. Technically Pandora is his real mother and creator anyway. The name of the project behind his birth is a clear reference to the cloning project of Metal Gear Solid. Since Solomon is a bit hard to understand we get additional help from Dimitri to make clear what really happened. And let us be honest: When did a project to create a super soldier ever go right? Most of them turn evil, insane or evil AND insane and turn almost instantly against their creators. But the Hooviets clearly are not genre savvy enough to avoid this trap.

In fact they were EXTRA genre blind to put ALL of their secret projects into the same place just so that inspections could be easier. So in a way bureaucracy is the true evil here. The real name of the project was a lot more down to earth and maybe they should just number their projects. A name like Project Hybrid might attract more spies then something generic sounding like Project 0762. The success rate was also rather abysmal, the only real and practical way to create a hybrid is sexual intercourse, unsurprisingly. This doesn’t exactly end up as a super soldier of course or mules would be super soldiers.

After winning the national science fair at the age of three (likely with the classical potato battery trick) Makarov went to the Mosroe Hooviet Military Academy where they thought him everything besides telling a good story and fancy mathematics. We also get the correction from Dimitri that the academy Solomon went to was far from being the best in the world. The place is mostly repeating the knowledge of the past and did discourage its students from any inventive and creative thinking. And considering how many Hooviet inventions are very impractical to use in normal combat, apparently pragmatic thinking was also a low priority. Dictatorships always prefer their subjects to think as little as possible for themselves. It might also explain why Solomon’s battle tactics are so limited and his most used tactic is the Zerg Rush.

Makarov also claims that Chernobull exploded because of outside sabotage and not because the scientists were too stupid to live. But foreigners had no intension to destroy that place as it was the perfect opportunity to spy on the Hooviets. Remember they put literally ALL of their secrets there. A lot of the beings dying here could also have been saved if Solomon wouldn’t have been so focused on looking heroic. It is a bit like Rainbow Dash’s false hero act taking to the logical extreme: victims die while you are busy looking good. After that they put the blame on Krakozhia, mostly just because they wanted to invade that place anyway. A short and brutal massacre followed that allowed Makarov to take care of a few of the surviving hybrids as well. After all he was too obsessed with being perfect and unique to realise that the fact that he isn’t the only one of his kind didn’t make him any weaker. A more pragmatic villain would have turned the other hybrids into a squad totally loyal to him and truly willing to give their lives for him but he is not able to be SUBTLE if his life depends on it. This brutal tactics also led to the country of Krakozhia keeping to fight back with guerrilla tactics long after the Hooviets declared their victory.

Makarov even became Mr. Hooviet Empire and he would have totally won the competition of Mrs. Hooviet Empire as well if he had entered it. After that Makarov began to learn under an insane lunatic called Volgin (a reference to the villain of Metal Gear Solid 3) and he claims that he inspired his Shagohods and taught him how to control lightning (the villain this is referencing to also had electric powers). The interviewers are quick to point out the contradiction but if we would point out every single mistake Solomon makes, we would be here for an eternity. Compared to Makarov and Volgin there were two rivals who had a better track record in designing weapons of mass destruction, in fact Makarov stole their ideas to create the deadly gas that he is using now. The original idea of Volgin however was never used because it made too little sense but ironically that idea of a tank with screw propulsion worked out perfectly in Metal Gear Solid 3. It is weird to realise that the series with the bright colourful talking magical ponies can make more sense then the infamous Metal Gear Series. Whenever something in that series doesn’t make any sense it is the fault of NANOMACHINES! Besides that the death of the two weapon designers was clearly the fault of Makarov who wanted to steal their inventions.

Next he moved on to end rebellions (of which the Hooviet Empire surely had a few even before the imagination thing stepped in) but thanks to Mother Deer’s efforts he couldn’t completely eradicate them. It was a pretty one-sided battle anyway since Makarov kept pulling the cheap robotic duplicate trick whenever he was about to die. On this slaughter track he apparently did genocide all Changelings because… actually we don’t even get a reason. The interviewers notice that this is rather strange and there must have been something about it that did humiliate Solomon quite a bit because he doesn’t want to talk about it. It seems rather bizarre that he is so proud about his planed genocide of the dragons but completely ignores the total genocide of the Changelings. Why even kill them? Yes, he is a racist jerk with the imagination of an amoeba and I think I might have just answered my own question. They were shapeshifters, the perfect spies for crying out loud! How could he be so utterly stupid to just waste them instead of using them to his advantage?

Then chillingly we see Moth fade out of existence and turn into a shadow helpless to do anything about it. It is a good reminder that in the Pony POV Series the Changelings were people, individuals and Solomon just slaughtered them all like nothing. Even Discord did at least bother to remember his genocides. In fact it is a good time to point out that Makarov seems to steal from Discord himself. Let’s see: The Draconequus did also genocide two species for very minor reasons and Makarov is about to reach that point as well when he genocides the dragons.

But the slaughter was far from over. Solomon was heavily involved into rising the tensions of Kundu again which resulted in a lot more horrible violence against a democratic government and countless other victims caught in the crossfire. The sad thing is also that with his powers to influence others minds, Makarov could have easily ended this and other conflicts with a LOT less carnage but he wanted to be a war hero and so he needed wars to happen around himself. Makarov then continues to tell how to remove a unicorn horn but thankfully the interviewers spare the readers the disgusting details. Next he did fight against a rogue dragon (after being responsible for the attack of course) but “fought” might be the wrong word as he basically just sent his troops in to die and then came in with his usual God Mode and finished the battle to get all the glory: The glory of always loosing your troops to accomplish any task.

He certainly won’t get glory as a storyteller. First his two rivals die from their own experiment, then they team up with, then they die from their own experiment and then the failure is blamed on spies from Ruritania. Ugh. It is just another excuse to invade a country. He could at least have more variety with his excuses. Makarov also takes this chance to kill off more of his fellow hybrids through the use of spies. The attempt on his own life might be real but normal assassins have no chance against his cheap God Mode abilities. Soon enough only one other hybrid is left and while Yeretik was able to defy his mind control thanks to Mother Deer, he was still brutally slaughtered by the imagination thing. Solomon claims it was a huge battle but that was likely only so because this enemy could actually fight back but sadly he lacked the power needed to kill Solomon permanently. Eventually Volgin becomes Supreme Marshal but Makarov wants that position (and he can’t have somebody be more important then himself) so Volgin had to die from a heart attack to leave that position to the imagination thing.

Afterwards the interviewers learn more details about the process of creating the Alicorn cyborgs but thankfully the reader is spared these details again. Then he tries to tell his family story which actually could have some interesting moments when he tries to have a normal family interaction but his constant mind control makes his parents little more then puppets… unfortunately Makarov is telling this tale so forget about that. His unicorn mother was a superior inferior contradiction… I mean unicorn and he calls the roe that was married to his father his real mother despite having nothing to do with her genetically and completely ignoring the very basic fact that he at least looks like a unicorn deer hybrid. Actually he is an imagination thing but that makes it even more embarrassing that he is such a poor story teller. Honestly, Pandora, the mother of all fiction and inspiration for all stories, must be ashamed for her son being such a failure in coming up with anything be it stories about himself, tales about his enemies, witty banter or plans to take over the world. He claims that his parents died TRAGIC deaths as did his younger brother (born from his father and the roe that wasn’t really Makarov’s mother but if you try to explain this to him he will ignore it).

Dimitri points out that the imagination thing itself was responsible for the deaths of his parents in order to craft a more TRAGIC backstory for himself. At this part it seems to be a very clear hint that the “brother” didn’t die and in fact my guess is that Dimitri IS this brother. After all he knows a lot about Makarov’s real backstory, knows a lot of details about the parents, mentioned once that he was meant to die for Solomon’s plans and utterly refuses to call the imagination thing Makarov.

In the end Makarov drops the act… the little that remained of the act anyway and reveals his true dark but strangely childish colors. He claims that his plans are perfect and that he will turn Shining Armor into the villain so that he can kill him and take over the role of hero of the story. Then he just walks off to eat somebody.

Overall this was quite the headache of a chapter. The parts with Dimitri were nicely written and contained nice foreshadowing but the ones were Makarov was talking were quite a mess. He plays his role of Mary Sue a bit too well and actually does hurt the story and makes it quite hard to follow with his constant lies and retcons.

But my biggest gripe with him is that he still is a flat character. If you compare him to Discord, both do share a few traits and Makarov is working hard to do as many genocides as Discord did. Yet there were the very few but still noticeable moments were Discord realized what he LOST on his path of disharmony. He practically lost his immortal family that did once love him when he devoured his own brother, he lost his mortal mother when even she saw no way to redeem him and stood up against him (chillingly she even once thought that he deserved Nightmare Eclipse in the Dark World), he lost the friends he once had as Dissy and the one immortal that did once have a close relationship with him is now one of his greatest enemies. Those moments of humanity are what give villains more of a character, it makes them more real, relatable and disturbing. Discord often gives off the impression that despite all the fake cheerfulness he has about his evil acts, he is basically dead inside. After the first 1000 years of his rule he was basically a broken fat mess.

Makarov doesn’t have anything to him that is unique. Yes, he is a threat, he is evil and he did perform almost every evil act possible but even after reading this, are you able to come up with some way to describe him that doesn’t boil down to Solomon being an arrogant bloodthirsty jerk? It seems to be a missed opportunity and overall his handling of the Changelings was such a jarring retcon that it almost seems guaranteed that once he gets erased, they will return into existence. In this short scene Moth was much more of a character then Solomon was over the entire chapter. The lone Changeling needed so little space to completely overshadow him.
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Woah, woah, woah.

What in the world is this? Now, I'm gonna commend you on effort. It's apparent here, as well as originality. But the huge, huge problem here is the length! As well as the meat of the story! The story's length is a huge problem here! Even after getting halfway through it, I find it very hard to keep track because you fling everything around! The story is poorly composed and unnecessarily long. But, the character Mr.Hooviet is a brilliant character. He has a personality and isn't flat, making the story bearable throughout. It's funny at times, but I still find it to be too long and confusing.

Overall, the story's length makes it a bit unbearable, as well as making it confusing; but the characters and humor keep me interested till the very end.
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yoshiegg64 Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2014
So it is now confirmed that Makarov had gas weapons when killing the changelings? Because before the edit Dima said he hadn't.

I have to say that is kind of sad, not the genocide of the changelings but even with absorbing the queen, the very concept of harmony, Makarov still could not sing well. As evident in the next chapter. 
ardashir Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2014
Sorry to be a pain like this, but I noticed a pair of typos here:

'Incomprehensible intellect?' Well, his thought process is certainly impossible to comprehend, but that's more due to it coming from dozens of stolen consciencenesses than actually being intelligent.

Maybe that should read 'stolen consciousnesses'? After all, a conscience is what hopefully prevents you from doing wrong to others, a 'consciousness' is your mind, the stuff that makes you, you, inside your head.

The unicorn was little more than my egg doner!

Should that line be, egg donor?

Sorry to be such a pain; besides you were probably distracted by having to deal with Makarov's megalomania to be able to focus on anything other than Gary Stag.

And I still love this chapter for both the nasty insight we get into Makarov's mind as well as the comedy provided by his arrogance and the poor Interviewers' reactions.
yoshiegg64 Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2014
I absolutely love arrogant villains like Makarov. The more cocky the villain, the more satisfying it is see them be defeated by the hero. At least for me it is. And he simply begging for someone to shut him up.

Also, the image of a smiling Makarov in sexily-clad tights is now burned into my brain. THANKS FOR THAT! (Not really). But that line "This is why everypony should just go around naked!" was hilarious. 

Overall I really loved the brief looked into what goes on in Makarov's world. Yet I was disappointed to find no mention of Pandora. I wonder how the two see each other? 
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2014

 But that line "This is why everypony should just go around naked!" was hilarious. 

Thanks, that was one of mine.

"Overall I really loved the brief looked into what goes on in Makarov's world. Yet I was disappointed to find no mention of Pandora. I wonder how the two see each other?"

I promise it is touched upon here and there at the VERY end in the chapter 17s. 
KurseofKings Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2013
"Ha, I am not surprised Solomon is lying already. Of course, some are obvious, but others require context.  He's correct the Hooviet leadership wanted supersoldiers... but they were desperate. They wanted generals powerful enough to rule by power and fear. And yes, they were dumb enough to think they could control them." Uh... Who is speaking again?
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2013
KurseofKings Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2013
"Les Enfants Splendide"? But... That's French, not Russian.
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2013
wanderingmagus Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013
what's the "one thing"?  Oh, I can think of a few, little Child of Imagination.

The Writer.

The End of All Things.

The Shadows leaving your poor, little universe to rot, barren and timeless, frozen for all eternity.

A Happy Ending.


And of course, the almighty Company and their massive army that can easily just tell the Writer to stop.

There are many things that can stop you, little Child.  And that's just assuming extra-narrative forces.

What brought the end to the Third Age, little Child?  Who unmade reality itself and set it back on track?  The world, the realm, the infinite realms that are Fiction is far greater than you can ever imagine, little Child.  And even the Writer cannot change those worlds, for they are beyond him.

A world of Marvels.

A world of Wizards.

A world of Jedi.

A world of Witches.

And endless, endless worlds that look just like your own, but do not incorporate you at all.  For do you not know?  The majority of the Shadows do not even give you a glance.  You are nothing, less than nothing to the Shadows Who Watch.  And the Seasons have begun already, little Child.  The pieces are moving, and there is nothing you can do to stop it, for it is beyond you.  Time marches ever forwards, little Child.

There was a time, little Child, when I would have given you the life that is the attention of one more Shadow, the attention and imagination that allows little symbols on a screen to come to life.  But now?  I simply glance past without a second look.  You have grown...





And inevitably, you shall be forgotten, like a speck of dust in a pond on a world in a galaxy in a universe.  I had forgotten you even existed until I chanced by this little world, with its arguing Writers almost spelling the cessation of your own existence.  After all, there were far more things to see, far more things to worry about.

For the sake of your world, little Child, I hope this Writer gets moving.
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2013
Have you read chapter 17.5 now?

Anything new to say in light of the flash back shown there in?

BTW: This was incredibly poetic and symbolic and down right BEAUTIFUL!

I doubt Pandora could have said it better herself!!! 
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