Princess Rainbow Dash vs Everything Part 1 of 2

OPTIONAL-CANON!!!!

Hey there! Name's Rainbow Dash, but now I sign all my stuff Princess Fidelitas Moksha Equestria. That's kind of a mouthful, so just Princess Fidelitas will do. If ya still wanna call me Rainbow Dash, that's totally cool with me too!

I thought of calling this story "Princess Rainbow Dash Vs. The Universe!" ... but that's kinda misleading, even if it does sound awesome! Whatever the title, it's pretty far out. You don't have to listen, if you really don't want to...

Still with me? Okay, then!

Just wave your hooves or something if I'm boring you. Heh, as if! Whatever else Rainbow Dash may be these days, she is not a boring pony.

A classmate of mine once said writing about gods was stupid, since there was no way ya could relate to 'em. Well, that's kinda true and kinda not.

Like the whole regret thing. It's true that as a goddess I can't feel regret anymore. You'll have to trust me that that's for the best given the stuff I've done in the name of my regrets, but I can still feel love and sadness. It's not like I've turned into some heartless space octopus or a perfectly perfect Marey-Sue; my friends mean a lot to me, just like they did before, and Fauna Luster and BDCZM (don't ask) and Discord's Parents are the only ones in the pantheon who are actually perfect.

Another big thing I woke up to after ascending is that there aren't any winners in the blame game. And there's always gonna be somepony who had it worse than you, and some other pony who did better.

So what am I up to? My job. Here's a hint about being an Alicorn, there's no retirement, there's no quitting, and if you screw up, lots of ponies suffer for it. So no pressure right?

Like a lot of creatures, I had it backwards. Loyalty and breaking cycles aren't just things I do... they're who and what I AM. Yeah, sounds freaky, I know, but don't get too hung up on it. I'm a Concept, an idea, and you know what they say about killing ideas.

Listen to me, getting all carried away with this cosmic lecturing, as if I was Twilight Sparkle at a lectern with a whole stack of notecards. Let's get to the meat of this story already!

So I've been doing the whole cosmic odyssey thingie. Concepts like me and Anasi, we don't really have a home universe right now, so we get to do stuff like that. Twilight used to get on Fate's nerves a lot, or so I'm told, but Fate and me, we're cool with each other. I'm guessing she doesn't like being twisted in knots any more than anypony else, unless your name is Pinkie Pie!

Being trapped in a self-replicating chrono-cycle is actually a lot more rare than causality conspiring against you to have everything go as stupidly wrong as possible. Blame the Concept with a thousand masks for that. Ya know the one; tentacles, ugly, only member of his family who's an actual jerk-flank instead of being super weird and alien.

Point is, I'm not as hard-pressed with fixing these bugs in reality as Twilight was. Plus, being the Concept of Loyalty can keep you plenty busy... especially when you're SUPPOSED to be building a whole new universe as part of your parole... but hey, I can't have not left if I haven't gone back yet, right? And I'm pretty sure Fate or someone else from my new family is always keeping a close eye on me, and they don't pretend they're not.

But now I've definitely done some good. Most were pretty straightforward. Like the Twilight Sparkle who cast a spell that trapped her in her own separate 'set of time' that made her repeat the same day over and over. Her Celestia even suggested that suicide was the only way out!

Just so ya know, I'm allowed to meddle a LOT MORE than old Twilight ever was. As long as I stick to my actual Concept, and I use common sense to never cross the line, I'm allowed to be a lot more personal. So I helped that Twilight find tomorrow.

In another world, Starlight Glimmer's (not the angel of death) mucking with time made her reset every day instead of time, appearing outside the throne room of Princess Twilight (Oy! Who asked Egghead if she wanted Princesshood?), ready to accept punishment, not remembering yesterday.

Starlight reset until heat death, everypony else in the afterlife and Starlight all alone. Forever. Geez, vindictive much?

I inspired Twilight to use auto-memory charms, restoring Starlight's memory daily. Starlight's body would reset to that spot forever, but it gave them something to work with to undo the damage. It was hope.

And that wasn't even the weirdest one! Ever hear about the time when the Cutie Mark Crusaders explored the Everfree Forest? They had a video camera that recorded everything, and due to it being from Pinkie Pie, their camera feed got sent to the next timeline over too, to a screen which that timeline's CMCs were watching.

And every time the current CMC got zapped into something that ground their adventure to a halt, an alternate version of them saw what they just did on their What-If Machine, and then they marched right back into the Everfree trying to figure out the mystery behind why the forest is the way it is. They called it their 'Journal of the Unexplained,' so that should give you a hint how weird things were bound to get.

Hey, don't leave! I'm not gonna tell ya that whole story. I mean, it's a cool story, but we'd be here for days. Just this one bit, okay?

Alright. So on one trip, the kids go to a creepy mansion with an aquarium. Now, Apple Bloom is wearing Truth-Goggles or something and the place has one of Ponythulhu's spawn in one of the tanks. Looking at it with artificial truth vision too deeply drives her crazy and turns her into a Deep Pony, and she mutates her friends too, which always bites, and means it's time for another timeline's CMC to try their luck.

But since the whole Ponythulhu thing drives ya crazy, it gets blocked out by the What-If Machine, so each timeline's CMC after that kept making the same mistakes, creating more and more timelines where Ponythulhu's new CMC began spreading his influence with his cookies turning Ponyville's ponies into cookie loving octopus faced Deep Ponies (except Pinkie Pie and the Cakes thanks to the 'Power of cake!', don't ask me!)

So I nudged things ever so slightly from behind-the-scenes. Apple Bloom couldn't stare at the spawn because her friends just happened to be standing in the way, and they realized she was acting weird and took her goggles off. Easy peasy.

That wasn't the end of it, though. Somewhere down and a few times removed from this new timeline... Apple Bloom got herself turned into an Alicorn filly. I swear, they're hoofing out Alicornhood like Nightmare Night candy in some of these worlds!

Since I get around to a whole lot of different Equestrias, I've seen a whole lot of Crusaders with a whole lot of different cutie marks. Hers is a shield crest around a big shiny silver gear with a red apple in the center. Huh? No, the apple doesn't have a bite taken out of it. Why would it? Her Alicorn name is 'Princess Praegressus Machinas Equestria' or just Princess Progress. I know which one I'd rather say three times fast!

Since I didn't do the whole 'subtle' thing as good as Twilight, and like I said, Princessdom being given away left and right, I shoulda seen what was gonna happen.

Princess Apple Bloom could see me. "'Scuse me, miss? Ah just wanted ta say, thanks for breaking us out of that Ponythulhu spawn cycle when we couldn't remember what the hay was going on, and for remindin' us that we didn't really want to be exploring forever, and... hang on a tick. Dash? Rainbow Dash!?"

I totally kept my cool, no way was I losing my composure to some greenhorn Princess. I put on my best 'mysterious entity' smile.

"Once upon a time... Better than some others I've been, let me tell ya. So hey, Apple Bloom, you became an Alicorn in this reality? Cool... At least you're not scared of actually moving FORWARD in time."

Princess Apple Bloom grinned. "Well, Ah did become the Spirit of Progress and Invention. Which other way would I go but forward?"

With Apple Bloom showing up, that timeline's mortal world has seven Alicorns now, with more on the way. No fooling. Everyplace on the planet would be crystal spires and togas before ya knew it. And they didn't even have any mass-Alicornification outbreak either, like some of the other messes I'd seen.

I almost wish I could stay a while. Ya know, chillax with their Veritas and Thalia, and blow mortal Rainbow Dash's mind... but nah. Let her enjoy the days I never got to. Heh, don't tell her, but if we met? I might be kinda jealous of her too.

Now I need to talk about the not-so-cool part of my job. Not everypony wants to be saved from a time loop.

It's easy to get addicted to infinite do-overs with no responsibilities or consequences. I've even been cursed at, called a meddling Marey Sue when I drag them kicking and screaming from their prisons.

I'm not saying they all became Nightmare Eclipses... But some of them were perfectly willing to let the rest of the universe go poof again and again. Mostly because they've gotten just plain scared to live going forward in time again, or they've given up, or become the worst breed of 'perfectionist' imaginable. Or because they just don't want to die.

There's something a lot of them don't realize... since the spirit world exists outside of time, a spirit's amount of 'waiting' for their family to join them in the hereafter is relative. It can seem like a moment, or those who died after you can show up before you do. But... if time is stuck on that one day, that one thousand years, and you never show up? Well, those already in the hereafter FEEL IT. It's one thing to know someone you love made all the wrong choices, but knowing they're just... not leaving the mortal world?

We're like amphibians. Staying tadpoles forever... is not healthy, no more healthy than ghosts staying forever in the world of the living.

But you ever try to take an addict away from their stash? Or try to encourage a chick out of the nest? Remove them from the familiar and the known? They look at you with enough hatred to give Nightmare Moon pause. And they'll fight you with a fury that would make a dragon shudder.

The biggest irony of all this? Fate never really got along with Twilight, but every version of her welcomes me to undo the knots she's tied up in, no, more like choking. Fortuna split herself with every choice. But these choices kept being strung back to the same point! I actually cringed looking at the rat's nest she was tangled into.

Most of these rat's nests were from... what you could call 'quick fix solutions'. When you lived the same events over and over, who doesn't want to just skip to the end? Here's an example:

Sunset Shimmer returns to Equestria to steal Twilight's crown, and retreats back to the human world, Twilight follows her, setting off Earth's Elements of Harmony's awakening.

Except... I've seen a Twilight Sparkle who can summon her Element back with a thought, or installed the mirror on the ceiling of a dungeon cell. Or Sunset dropping the crown behind the mirror or getting caught in Equestria due to all six of the Elements already being Alicorn bad flanks.

Problem solved, right? As Apple Bloom would say, 'A quick fix here can make a huge mess over there.' Like how the Humane Five stay enemies. At best they shrug it off with 'well, can't have everything.' But that's only the tip of the iceberg.

Even had they become friends again, they'd have no reason to befriend human Twilight, who in turn has no reason to become Nightmare Midnight since there's no magic. Which means she avoids some nasty trauma, and the universe isn't almost destroyed. Sounds great right?

But she also never awakens to her magic, she stays under Principal Cinch's thumb, Dean Cadence never learns Cinch's real personality, the Shadowbolt 5 never become friends with each other. Sunset doesn't recreate the 7th Element of Harmony. Human Twilight never makes true friends, Spike the Dog stays a dumb animal, and the students of Canterlot High stay divided into sects. Oh, and human Twilight never meets Timber.

Sad, but nothing that some social engineering can't cure you're thinking right?

But you'd think the sirens would stay a faceless non-threat with no Equestrian magic to power them up... until you remember how long they've been causing trouble on Earth. Imagine them starting another world war, just to spark enough negativity to feast again.

Then there's Gaea Everfree. She comes into being right on schedule, with no heroes to stop her. Actually, without Sunset Shimmer and human Twilight, she doesn't appear until after camp is over and Filthy Rich comes to collect his prize. Picture a mad Nightmare doing whatever she wants with her most hated enemy, and no one there with the power to stop her, she wouldn't stop.

Then the Sirens get the scent of Equestrian magic, and suddenly you’ve got a war between them and Gaea Everfree! Don't forget that the Sirens are STILL immortal, meaning a bullet to the head isn't going to stop Adagio. And the normal humans are stuck in the middle... I hate to say it, but it reminds me of that worldline Mr. Tragedy for Tragedy's Sake called his 'masterpiece.'

Those inside endless cycles think their actions only affect immediate stuff. They don't think how stuff only happen because of a zillion other stuff. It's not like a movie script you can ignore when you feel like it.

And... for me? It can see them... every time there's a reset... The smallest stuff can have the biggest changes, in other stuff, and people. And as time goes on, the changes just get bigger and bigger... and that results in different experiences, more different choices, and ponies and griffins growing and learning down different roads...and that road gets pulled out from under them and they fall into the delete bin.

But hey, when the cycle starts again, it's the 'same' Gilda, the 'same' Greta the 'same' Gabby it's happening to, they just don't remember the previous cycles, so nothing lost.

Except... that's ponyfeathers. Unwinding the universe and starting again isn't just turning a computer off and on. Everything that happens... happened! As Nightmare Manacle I was focused just on EQUESTRIA being unmade again and again, saving just one pony when I could. As a Concept? I CAN SEE IT ALL! Equus! Millions of GALAXIES over, trillions of lives... people being erased again and again who have never even seen the Milky Way in their telescopes because the universe is too young for the light to reach them... All shuffling off... into Entropy's embrace in Oblivion. Those soundless screams that last less than the smallest amount of time. Mortals can't hear them. And the beings who remember cycles beyond counting, who've accumulated so much knowledge and experience... don't know, and couldn't do anything about it if they did. Okay, maybe it's kinder they don't know.

So yeah, in a lot of circles, I'm hated. The 'nicer' ones try to banish me or turn me to stone, the more 'heroic' ones try to kill me. The idea of cycles being broken has been beaten, battered, demonized, poked, skewered, stabbed, clawed, and everything in between.

Heck, even Loyalty has a dark side. Misguided and misplaced loyalty... those are me too. Don't even get me started on how I've been twisted in knots by creatures who treat me like I'm a remote control to make others that they think are 'inferior' to them or have a 'natural' lower place on the pecking order to do whatever the Tartarus they want. But that's a whole other story...

+

Being the act of cycles breaking, and the idea of loyalty, you get some perspective.

Mortal life really IS so tiny when compared to the cosmos, but the ladybug that sits outside your window doesn't think a pony's life is tiny! To the stars, ponies live lives like firecrackers, to a butterfly, ponies live an unnaturally crazy long time. Everything is huge or small depending on the scale. Heck, to the breezies, other ponies are giant monsters.

And as part of my rebirth, as the idea of loyalty, I know and FEEL every shape and form I can take.

"Hey, Dissy," I said.

"Well, if it isn't Princess Fidelitas," said Discord casually, as he was Sonic Rainboomed in the face for the 171,015th time by Scootaloo number 66,666, a thestral in her little red pajamas (we gave each other a wave). "Fancy meeting you here. Come to watch me getting what I so richly deserve? Forgive the lack of visual puns. My heart just hasn't been in it lately. Or in me, half the time! Oh! Perhaps you'd like to take a few good whacks at me yourself, and give little Scootaloo here a break."

"Nah," I said. "I evolved past that. You still doing this?"

"That makes two of us then. Only when not serving your friends to build a universe. You joining in soon?"

"Got some stuff I need to take care of first, can I please enter your domain?"

"Do my ears deceive me? That's a serious question. I might have gotten them on backwards after this charming little devil got carried away with the wing blades. Yes, yes... Why, I do believe you did just ask PERMISSION before going inside my soul?! How times have changed."

"Yeah, they have, Dissy." I smirked. "I need to borrow some help for my work."

"Rainbow Dash admitting she needs help: all I needed to hear!" Discord produced a little door and stuck it to the back of his head and opened it up. "Go right ahead! Right into Chaosville!"

"Thanks Dissy." I flew inside. I don't think I need to describe what Discord's domain looked like. No seriously, it's as random and crazy with floaty stuff everywhere and a constantly changing crazy background as you'd expect!

And finding your way through... just don't try to make sense out of it. But I did find who I was looking for. You may or may not have heard of him... Ratatoskr, Discord's only servant, who stayed behind in the spirit world to look after Discord's domain while Discord was in the mortal world. He also uses Discord's account to troll other gods on Fate-net, on his orders.

Mortals saw him as a squirrel, when they saw him at all. He could have fit right in at Fluttershy's cottage, and Fluttershy herself wouldn't have noticed. Me? I'm a Concept in the spirit world, I see meanings, including the stuff whose point was that it was pointless.

"Oh my, a visitor, it's been... very long... " He grinned at me. "Sorry, the master of the house isn't available right now, but welcome to Chaosville!" This was a joke, I know. I'm not mortal anymore, so I know EVERYTHING AROUND US in 'Chaosville' is Discord. "I don't believe we've formally met, name's Ratatoskr."

"Princess Fidelitas. I'm here to ask for your help."

The squirrel with the broom that was seven times his size burst out laughing. "Oh that's RICH! You tortured my boss, my creator well past the point of payback for millions of years... And now you stroll right in here and ask for my help? OH OH OH! I know in spite of what it says on some Fate-net posts yer not stupid! So that must mean you NEED my help! Ha ha!"

"Yeah, but it also means I understand you."

"Pull the other one! It has bells! Ha ha!"

"... You never abandoned your creator, you stayed here and looked after his green slimy houseguest. You always kept this place in shape for when the rest of him came back. But you never took part in any of his evil schemes, and he never once punished you for that."

Ratatoskr stopped laughing. He looked down sullen. "The boss did kinda lose his marbles after he absorbed Tartarus' screw-loose Avatars."

"And tore off Rota Fortuna's wing."

"It was war!"

"Wasn't she a prisoner then?"

"I honestly don't remember."

"And ate his brother."

"He was having a crazy day, they thought it was one of them or both..."

Now that I'm the idea of loyalty itself... I can appreciate how loyal Discord was to Fluttercruel, and Screwball and Mad Tiara too, and the loyalty they had for him in return. And Ratatoskr? He was perhaps the most loyal of the whole bunch because he never took part in any of his creator's selfish schemes.

"A part of true loyalty is understanding. I know you're actually loyal to Dissy, and I know Dissy loves you playing pranks to keep the universe from going stale. What if I told you... you could help pull the biggest prank on the largest collection of pseudo-deities in the history of this cluster of realities?"

"Bigger than the Earth Bound Kings?"

"Way bigger!"

"Okay, Princess Always Dresses in Style, I'm listening..."

Heh, never gonna live that past life down, am I darling?

+

I really wish my Twilight was here. She's way better at planning. Going over my ultimate prank of pranks with my 'crew' working out every tiny detail, I knew things wouldn't just might go wrong, but stuff would go wrong. 'No plan survives contact with the enemy' as I'm sure King Leo would say.

And there's one thing I HAVEN'T talked about yet that I really need to: Baby Veritas. Like any baby filly, she's not too keen about her mom being away at work. It's... it's really important that a filly has her mom there for her, ya know? So yeah, after every big 'break it to fix it' job, I make sure to check in with my bundle of joy.

Technically she has the Scootaloo army to look after her, but I knew that shouldn't be a substitute for me. Okay, my domain is me, so technically she's surrounded by me all the time, so technically I never 'leave' her... But, ya know what I mean, right? Concepts need to be able to keep seeing things from the point of view of the mortals we're supposed to be helping.

Imagine a place where something went wrong, long ago, something that forced the gods to tie the strands of Fate into endless knots, just to keep them from unraveling entirely. Imagine a version of Equestria caught in one of those threads, endlessly crossing under and over with every world in the chain, with more and more ponies becoming aware that the same few years are endlessly repeating... hundreds, thousands, even millions of times over, and still the gods have no solution, no real hope of escape for them. Ever.

I won't lie and say I wasn't hesitant about this. I knew what I had to do... but I also knew the people I was going up against weren't truly bad ponies. And that this was also gonna be the fight of my life. Also, I wouldn't have four friends watching my back. A part of me felt like I was little Rainbow Dash facing off against Nightmare Dusk again. Except now, I might be facing an army of her.

So yeah. But I can't just let this endless cycle continue on forever. It has to break. These ponies need help, and I'm gonna give it to them even if they fight me tooth and hoof. Right now, there are options. Nice ways I can do this. Later on, there won't be. What happened to the Age of Dreams... no one wants that, ever again.

++++++

We're here, and everybody knows the plan. Okay Dashie, showtime!

It probably would have been smarter to make a twenty page checklist and check it twice, but as I've stated repeatedly, that's not my style! I suck in my cosmic breath (I kid) and I squeeze into this tangled worldline just as a new cycle begins.

Annnnnnnnd I set off about a zillion bajillion alarms. I kiiiiinda forgot to mention one teeny tiny detail. Ya see, the gods who run this joint? They're not part of my family, or any of my in-laws. So I'm a Triple-A Intruder just by setting hoof here. And the whole "cause-an-infinite-cycle-to-end-merely-by-existing-in-the-same-universe" thing miiiiiight instantly put me on the 'cosmic monstrosity that must be destroyed at all costs' list.

So yeah, I just became Public Enemy Number One to some strange incarnation of a whole bunch of Thor's relatives. I'm an instant celebrity. Untangling Yggdrasil's branches and healing the damage from old Nythy's rabid black squirrels isn't gonna be easy. Assuming that really is the cause... Yggdrasil's roots are as much a tangled mess as her branches, so even I don't know for sure.

I bet the local gods won't waste much time forwarding those alarms to the local residents. This is probably the one prison in existence where the inmates will fight to protect their prison just as hard as the wardens. No, not a prison... a zoo or a nursing home. They have major firepower and resources to do it with, too.

I'll admit, I'm surprised that I'm not blasted to spacedust the same nanosecond I become an idea here. What was step one again? Oh, now I remember! Get their attention! I thought of just painting my behind on the moon, but I'd rather not have Nightmare Moon out to kick my flank with a Super Star Destroyer.

I fire up the old Canterlot Voice, aaaaaaand, "ATTENTION ALL THOSE WHO TROT THE ENDLESS WHEEL! FREE COOKIES AND FREE CIDER PARTY! HELP ORGANIZE THE BIGGEST DARN RACE EVER! FREE FOAL-SITTING PROVIDED! MEET THE CUTEST ANIMALS EVER! BE THE BEST FASHIONISTA IN THE UNIVERSE!" I blasted the coordinates into the sky.

Every pony who lived during the Age of Dreams learned how to put on a party, and Rainbow Dash the snow sled-riding fashionista was no exception! I also raise an island out of the ocean in the shape of a butterfly. Oh yeah, I am SOOO breaking so many rules here! Ha ha!

Normally there's no way in Tartarus I could ever use so much power on the mortal plane without blowing a fuse, but this place threw out the surge protectors a long time ago.

And here they come. Thirty-odd ponies and other creatures, transported by their Twilight in one mass teleport... and she's not even an Alicorn right now. Even if physically they look as normal as ever, even if I can feel overwhelming power from each and every one of them, looking at their souls still makes me cringe.

"We're ALL awake?" says Spike, counting everyone around him to double-check. "I have a bad feeling about this, Twilight." Did I mention this Spike is a Ryujin Jedi Master who could trample a continent if he really wanted? Angel Bunny is here too... I almost laugh when I sense that the Dark Side is strong with him, but it's no joke. Scootaloo's powered up form is a draconequus, I can see it no matter what form she's wearing. This world's Luna and Celestia are hanging back, apparently deferring to Twilight, and why not? The paradox of the cycles forced her to become older and more powerful than them a long time ago.

Oh yeah, this isn't gonna be pretty.

"Hi girls! You don't know me! Name's Princess Rainbow Dash, but to keep stuff from being confusing, and since I'm the guest here, ya can call me Fidelitas. Now, now, don't give me those looks! All the stuff I promised is right around the corner... no, Pinkie Pie, not literally. You can stop looking for corners. The thing is... it kinda all happens the second AFTER the cycle ends, but that's not a problem, because as the Alicorn of Loyalty and Ending Cycles, I'm here to help you all reach exactly that! The cycle's over. This moment just now was the last time you'll ever experience it. Ain't it cool?"

I don't know WHY I'm surprised when most of them burst out laughing. Eternal Cycles Me is bewildered. No doubt she's seen herself as an Alicorn plenty of times before, but I think she senses that I'm different, somehow. A lot of them were patting her back for what was obviously a very big and very well executed prank.

Credit where it's due, they're still not trying to trap me in a maple jar yet, but they've taken turns defeating Nightmare Moon blindfolded, so I don't think they're actually worried yet.

This becomes obvious when Cycles Me joins in the laughter. "*Whoever* cooked up this prank, that Romare barding is pretty sweet! I've gotta get me some of that!"

"It is a lovely classic style, isn't it, darling?" Rarity's horn glows, and she creates a scaled down version of my armor out of the surrounding atoms for Cycles Me to wear right on the spot.

"Nice, but can you make it 200% cooler?"

Now I'm actually a bit scandalized. Rarity doesn't look too happy either. I guess EVERY joke is an old joke to them.

That was when the Ring-a-Ding-Ding! from the ones who were supposed to be curing Yggdrasil of her disease instead of just treating her symptoms reaches EC Twilight. I really, really, REALLY WISH I could say I'm surprised when she blurts out, "What do you mean, this Rainbow Dash is a goddess?!"

The group goes deathly quiet. At least they aren't summoning the Elements or powering up to their Alicorn forms yet. Good, more time is good for me.

Twilight's mane twitches. "This isn't happening... This can't be happening. You can't be happening! You can't be here!" Guess some things never change. "Even if you are, you might think you're helping us, but interfering with cycles could destroy us all. We can't risk that!"

I spread out my wings, more outta habit than anything else... even MY sheer awesomeness isn't likely to impress these galaxy-juggling kids. Chrysalis and Trixie move a little bit closer together, that's a thing too, takes all kinds. Pinkie Pie is giving me her 'This isn't fun' look. I know Princess Thalia, even if MY Pinkie Pie isn't Thalia yet, and Pinkie Pie the warp goddess of parties (in other realms) is no Thalia. Gilda moves up beside the other Dash, ready to smite me with... her paintbrush tail. It sounds silly when I describe it like that, but trust me, it's not.

I could go on and on. I DID scout this place out first. Don't look so surprised! I'm... not quite as dense as I used to be.

"Are you sure? Is that the real reason?" I ask.

I fly up and do a sweeping gesture with one hoof. "All this brainpower you've gained, all this insight, all this understanding, and how many of you have even TRIED to help end the cycles if you want it to end so badly?"

Twilight bristled at that. "The administrators are doing everything they can."

I look her right in the eyes. "Are they? How do you know that? Cause it sure doesn't seem like they have a lot to show for the billions of years they've *supposedly* been working on this!"

Spike drops to all fours and starts growing. A lot. Glaring down at me like I'm just a claw-sized bug for talking like that to Twilight. Nice try, little buddy! But my Spike knows how to supersize too, only scares me a little. "They've explained all of this to us before, Rainbow Dash, or whoever you are," his voice boomed. "We have to be here, acting out our parts in the cycle, or this whole reality could *crash*. We don't have a choice." He gestures, and I feel his will bearing down on me. "You will go back where you came from, and never return."

I don't budge. Even if these guys aren't the ponies I know... just up and abandoning them? I'm loyalty, remember? "Twilight? Come on, where's your evidence? Since when you do let other people pat you on the head and tell you they know best?"

"No offense, darling, but conspiracy theories are unbecoming," said Rarity as politely as she could, bless her. She rested a hoof on Spike's paw, and they shared a warm glance.

"Let me ask you, then, when is the last time any of you actually THOUGHT of escaping this cage in time? When was the last time you thought about what you'd do once you were out of it? I KNOW doing all this to keep you in one piece with Yggdrasil on life support can't have been easy! Being an actual god is a burden, not a gift, take it from me. But in a centillion years, if this gets fixed, will any of you be able to live on the outside?"

Some of them looked angry, some troubled, but no one seemed to want to be the first to answer.

Okay, maybe I'm NOT awesome at negotiation and my big mouth might have caused some sparks, but hey, I totally kept their attention on me right?

"You know what I think? I think you ponies gave up on getting out of here a long time ago. Yep, you're just living it up in your endless no-responsibility party vacation. Either that, or you're too chicken to even try getting out, and I don't know which is more pathetic! Yeah, you heard me! I could compare you to hamsters on wheels, but you're more like goldfish who grew to the shape of your goldfish bowl, if you ask me! If you could see what a mess your souls are..."

The other Rainbow grabs her imitation Romare barding, and yanks it right off. "That's it! I dunno who you think you are, or how you fooled the admins, but any pony who talks about her friends like that isn't any Rainbow Dash I know." She reaches into her extradimensional pocket and whips out a Wonderbolts flight suit with a captain's insignia. "You're nothing but a big phony, and I'm gonna prove it right now. Come on, just you and me, any stunt you want. Let's go!"

It stings, it really does. "Oh yeah? Well maybe you don't know as much about loyalty as you think. Double Sonic Rainboom."

She laughs. "Hah! Is that all?" She does it, too, vanishing with a whip-crack of displaced air as fast as any teleport, then making two booms and rainbow shocks as she streaks across the sky. Then she lands lightly, still a pegasus! "Triple Sonic Rainboom."

"Pfft. Piece of cake." And it is. Three booms, easy as cake! Inwardly, I'm worried things are getting out of hoof... competing with my other self is fun, but it wasn't in the plan. It's WORKING, though... even they don't get a show like this every day.

It's too good to be true, so of course, that's when their Discord decides to turn up, fashionably late. Yep... that smug snake is being as annoying as ever. "My, my, this is all so very entertaining, but did you forget why we're here? Don't make me be the sensible one!"

With a simple snap of his fingers, I'm wearing a "100% Authentic Goddess" sandwich board, and he's checking my ears and coat like I was a dairy cow at a job interview. "Yes, yes, no doubt about... what is THIS?" He pulls a strand of squirrel fur from my coat, sniffing it. "An Alicorn, consorting with the forces of chaos? With MY loyal retainer. Why, this is all a trick!" He steeples his claws, grinning smugly. "What are you hiding?"

Horseapples. Horseapples. Horseapples. Horseapples. Horseapples. Horseapples. Horseapples. Horseapples. The little guy was supposed to stay hidden for a lot longer than this.

Don't deny it, what would my karate teacher say? When the enemy pushes, you pull. "For your information, I got the okay from another you, who went through something like what you're going through right now. And he can't stand all the chances you've denied yourselves either."

"Now you're just being silly!" Pinkie Pie said, trying to defuse the situation. "We've had more chances than ever for everything."

I sighed.

"Twilight, did you even try to get to know the REAL Blueblood? The one who inspires genuine loyalty in his servants and those he does the diplomatic duel of wits with IN SPITE of his stupid classist attitude? Ya know, I hate to sound like Starlight Glimmer, but it's with LIMITS that mortals get to know each other. Like the missing pieces of a puzzle. It's BECAUSE of limits that Shining Armor and Blueblood became friends!

"Think about the time unawake Celly trusted Blueblood with the Summer Sun Celebration? You just assumed that the only way she'd EVER do that was if she had brain damage, or she needed to play nice with stupid aristocrats. It never even occurred to you that Blueblood might actually be good at something."

Twilight, I'm sorry. I really really really am. But the best way to get any heroic pony's attention is with a bad guy... so I gotta play the bad guy.

Twilight had gotten some of her composure back. I know that annoyed look on her face. It reminds me of the time she tried to explain why the Pinkie Sense couldn't possibly be real.

We were all so *young* back then...

"Those things happened in completely different cycles." Twilight snorted. "Just how long have you been spying on us?" She looked at the others. "Obviously, she's still trying to distract and delay us! Girls! Formation!"

Within moments, they have Elements on. Even if the Elements are supposed to be stone orbs in the basement of a castle right now, they always have spares. And they power them up like it's nothing, ready to turn me into a statue and deposit me on the moon, or just depower me if they're feeling nice, or just boot me out like the unwanted house guest I 100% was. They begin to resonate and...

"No," I said. And the Element of Loyalty shuts down.

Without missing a beat, Rainbow Dash tosses her Element to somepony else... Except it starts speaking, in our voice.

"I'm sorry. This Aspect of Harmony, Loyalty, can not used against itself. Sorry about that." Now that got their attention.

"Look, I know it seems cheap," I tried to explain, rubbing the back of my head sheepishly. "But seriously... you girls just tried to drown an ocean. I don't just represent loyalty these days. I am loyalty."

They spend the next sixty seconds trying to override or jury rig the Element of Loyalty anyway. Yeah, I wouldn't have taken my word for it either. But I'm still ready just in case they succeed.

They begin passing it around going "Did you shake it?" and "Did you try turning it off and on?" for the various creatures present worthy of loyalty, which after millennia, is quite a few of them. And of course taking out the 'spare' Elements which had no logical means of existing in a self contained timeline.

Reminds me of that world I saw a recording of where Celestia hated tea, but because the entire economy ran on it, she had to pretend she loved it. When she once confessed the truth, Twilight was sure it was Chrysalis and EVERYPONY attacked Celestia.... Amicitia went back in time and had Celestia make her signature food cake instead.

Thankfully before they could start bringing out the Elements of Disco or the Elements of Marketing, Rainbow Dash said, "Fine! If we can't blast you with our love and tolerance death-ray-"

"-please don't call it that Rainbow Dash-" Twilight said.

"-then I'll just have to show you the door the old fashioned way!"

And boom... transformation time... This is the first time I got to see myself as a mortal Alicorn, I make it look awesome.

I made a little cough. "Before we get started, can I ask one question? You can tell I've been watching what you guys can do... So aren't you worried, that I'm not worried?"

And that question finally hits home, and I see their eyes all widen by a tiny bit.

"You're bluffing!" Spike said.

"Uh... haven't we heard like... a billion bad ponies tell us that?" Fluttershy spoke up.

"I've kinda taken on bozos who could fit Equestria on their hoof."

Infinite Cycles Me said, "Oh it's so adorable you think you're more awesome than us!"

I stared. "Whoa... So that's what that feels like from the other end. Fauna Luster, I sure can brag!"

"Hey!"

"It's true. Wait a tick! Now I remember! Aren't you that me I gave a splitting headache to for being more arrogant than normal??"

"That was you?!"

"Blech! I can't believe I'm saying this! Don't get cocky... I used to be one of you."

And those words trigger more alarms in their heads than 'real goddess' and 'ending the cycles' stuff ever could.

"I don't know how you're sabotaging our Elements, but we will remove you from our universe by force if you don't start cooperating. We don't want to hurt you, but this may get a little rough," Twilight said.

"You're an infinitely better Twilight than Her," I say, and don't elaborate.

Apple Bloom's trying to convince the other Crusaders that I'm some kind of corrupted cycle glitch or 'undeleted RAM'. Pinkie's decided that I'm Evil Dash from an evil mirror universe. That one hits kinda close to home.

They tried the classic 'box within a box within a box' trap thing... but I just vibrated my atoms at just the right wavelength to pass through... That definitely surprised them. And their wrath would be as swift and decisive as that of any slighted author on a rebellious character.

Then they causally opened a rift in time and space to the sock-puppet universe. With Cycles Rainbow being the one who was gonna Giga-Ultra-Final-Ultimate-Super-Big-Bang-Little-Bang-Last-Impact-Mega-Awesome-Sonic-Rainboom me through it.

I was gonna just vibrate to let her pass right through me, but she was vibrating herself at the same frequency. I teleported out of the way, but she just teleported a moment later so she was still on a direct impact with me to knock me out of there. So I kinda had ta fight back.

I don't think anyone expected me to buck her straight past the moon's orbit. I think she might have put a new crater on Mars, but that could have been just my imagination.

But I did hear a faint echoing, "SASSAFRAS!!!"

Thirty-something-jaws dropped. Their eyes bug eyed. They all drew in a breath. For someone to casually overpower one of them like that, WITHOUT sealing away their Alicorn powers and their anything-on-demand pockets... When was the last time something like that had happened to ANY of them?

I didn't wait around for the rest of them to power up. I teleported out of there... way out.

A moment later I was in intergalactic space with a great view of the Milky Way, the perfect place to catch my breath before...

Horseapples! I thought they'd take SOME time to search half the universe and chase after me, but their Twilight must have traced my teleport. They're all appearing one after another, all of the ones who can power up enough to fly through space... one Alicorn after another, a whole army of them!

I was surprised when this reality's Discord didn't join the fight to take down the 'intruder goddess.'

It turns out... Dissy was in my corner after all. Because he'd had hidden a little message to his cyclist self on me while I was in his domain, and hid it on a single strand of hair. It looks like I wasn't a total failure as a distraction after all, nopony noticed him reading it. I still don't know what it said.

-

'Hello Discord you impossibly handsome and witty and flawlessly charming draconequus, you! This is Discord, well, another Discord. One who has gone through infinite number of cycles like you have, though under less than ideal conditions compared to yours.

I'm assuming Dashie has gone and made a mess of things in typical Rainbow Dash style right now or will shortly. But believe me, if she had ill intentions... you wouldn't be reading this now, you're one of two beings she knows how to rip to shreds without even trying better than anypony.

I know this is difficult to believe of any Rainbow Dash, but she knows what she is doing. Not much of a comfort, I'm sure, when her big mouth has likely started one doozy of a cosmic battle.

But there is something you need to know.

The cycles are never going to end on their own. Ever. Not in a googolplex worth of Centillions. Not because of any big villain scheme or tedious conspiracy. But because it would mean the end of the sense of power it gives, the sense of freedom in the cage, but above everything, it would mean the end of the game. You're all stars of the greatest cosmic soap-opera that nopony wants to end. So you might want to see if Rainbow Crash can pull this one off. I mean, it's not like the universe is going to explode if she messes this up!

Oh, it actually could, couldn't it? Isn't it worth taking a chance, though?

Yours truly, Timber Bricks Discord Typhon.

P.S. Mother says 'Hello.' '

-

Girls, maybe it would be better if you were left to your kingdom in your fish bowl and your infinite new game pluses, gobbling up more and more times and existences. And the rules say there's still the normal worldline where I don't show. But this endlessly looping highway needs an off-ramp built.

And now I've gone and lured them out to intergalactic space, light centuries away from Equus, where they can cut loose with all the Alicorn powers they've got, and all the star fleets and death rays and everything else in their pockets. You really bucked this one up, Rainbow. I hate to think it, but this is an army of ponies on Nightmare Eclipse's level.

And I'm blasted with every type of magic known to ponykind, and plenty that aren't even part of this time/space continuum. But who am I to complain? I don't exactly belong here either.

= Boss Theme 1 - Kid Icarus Uprising =

I definitely pick up on the frustration and annoyance here, even now they're thinking of this as a chore, not a battle.

Alicorn Rainbow Dash, who has a bloody nose, wants me stomped out hard and fast. She rammed at me with speeds that weren't physically possible, I dodged at speeds faster still.

I can only imagine what the ponies who were native to this timeline are wondering what the hell is going on with ponies and creatures both significant and insignificant just vanishing into thin air after that public display I gave.

Going against this many Alicorns and one Draconequus and all the rest at once? Yeah, not good odds.

So I began to randomly teleport across galaxies, the cyclist army always a couple milliseconds behind. I think they paused for a moment just to cast a warning-spell in case I was trying to lure them into teleporting into a black hole.

I teleported across the universe, no limits in place meant no limits in play, not 'really really really high' limits. I teleported to spots Equestrian telescopes would never seen before Equus' sun burned out. I teleported to the bright heart of several galaxies, followed by the screaming edge of the universe. Entropy wondered at this microbe that was buzzing in her face and I quickly teleported away. I teleported onto moons of dead solar systems in galaxies where sapient life never evolved.

But this game of follow the leader wasn't going to last forever, I imagine Twilight traveled back in time to tell herself where I was going to be ahead of time so they could ambush me and then go back in time to tell them where I was gonna be.

Bless their hearts for still holding back, since I knew being hit all at once by full powered blasts from that many Alicorns and Draconequus should hurt a lot more than it did.

But the thing is? I always sucked at holding back. So Alicorn me came at me screaming bloody murder really thinking my face needed readjusting. I think that I'd actually hurt her. That flipped a switch with her. The game wasn't fun anymore, so she wanted it over. That meant I had to take her seriously too.

She hit with punches that could have pulverized mountains, she hit at me with attacks going fast enough to trigger 9.0 quakes! And I managed to block them all. I think the others were letting her have the honor of 'getting rid of' me. She created lightning storms against all logic of being in deep space, I just recycled the lightning back into her, and she just recycled the lightning back into me. We were lit up like one of Minty's christmas trees. She began to vibrate her hoof for the old classic infinite mass punch. I responded by giving her a quicker infinite mass knee to the sensitive areas.

"AGH! C-cheater!"

"I'll accept the red card from the ref!"

Then I gave her a Sonic Rainboom with a flap of my right wing and Sonic Darkboom with my left at point blank range. Then I gave her the infinite mass quad-jackhammer to the gut in the span of a few nano-seconds. Followed by the electrical signals being sent into her central nervous system to shut down her motor functions.

She still had her magic though and of course began to use her telekinesis to try and fight me or simply blast me. That was when I had my feathers spread out and regenerate, and began tickling her in all her most sensitive spots, shattering her concentration, as I sent a few more electrical signal shutting down her magic center.

My other option was to telepathically show her a few minutes of my millions of year as Nightmare Manacle, so I went with the method that wouldn't traumatize her for eternity. Yeah, this Rainbow Dash who had seen her friends in some cycles as the worst monsters imaginable, and still treated them as just another set of jerks that needed punching out, I could literally SEE I'd have left her a wreck.

By the time she had little flying trees tweeting around her head... The rest were done treating this like a chore. If they'd been shocked before, now they were completely bewildered.

"WE HAVE GOT TO BE DREAMING!!! LUNA! THIS JOKE HAS GONE ON LONG ENOUGH!!!"

"IT ISN'T ME!"

They weren't following the old video game cliche of fighting me one on one, in order from weakest to strongest. Twilight Sparkle led the next change herself. She was the oldest, strongest, and smartest, it made total sense for her to be the one to fight me head on. And it was the single biggest unwitting tactical boo boo she could have made.

I created a barrier outside a barrier creating a barrier outside a barrier around us, each one creating its successor as the current one was destroyed. Hey, if Venus can feel angry, I do things like the cycle of say flapping my wings!

Twilight tried to use telekinesis to hold me in place, but I used my flight field to negate it. She tried to simply zap me into unconsciousness with a quick fast sleep spell she'd copied from Luna, but I dodged. So she made the second biggest mistake she could have unwittingly made with me, she began to teleport about to zap me from random angles.

Every time she teleported, it was into one of my hooves to her face, one right into a first world country's total electric current, or an ice cube she had to then break out of.

"HOW ARE YOU DOING THIS?! MIND READING? PRECOGNITION? MANA-FLOW TRACING? MENTAL SUGGESTION TO MAKE IT SEEM LIKE YOU'RE READING MY MIND?" All of Twilight Sparkle's composure was long gone, then again, I'd hurt her friend.

"Isn't it obvious? I just memorized Twilight Sparkle's teleport style for a very very long time."

"B-but, that doesn't make sense!"

"I've spent millions of years learning how every version of you across reality fights, Twilight."

I... I really don't want to talk about how the rest of that fight went. I really don't. Of all the things I had to do during that mission, that was my least favorite! Suffice to say, after several spell blasts that made hydrogen bombs look like cherry bombs, and more than a few times of trying to zap me into an orange, a plushie, a chicken, trying to twist time and space itself to implode me, summoning several Ursa Majors and other cosmic beasts to maul me, turning a nearby galaxy into a buzz saw to cut me in two, trying to trap me inside a repeating single millisecond of time (that was a total no-sell), having to reconstitute my atoms in record time, trying to turn my armor into dark matter, and creating a black hole in my gut, and once of her blasting off my head and having to grow a new one... Cyclist Twilight Sparkle... actually ran out of mana...

Halting, with a haunted look in her eyes, she stammered. "So...that's what that feels like... getting taken out by somepony who's fought you a million times you don't remember."

"You did your best Twilight, just take a rest for the rest of this." I tapped her in a pressure point that made her pass out.

Now I'd taken out two of them. I think a lot of their brains were crashing from just trying to comprehend that. That wasn't supposed to happen in their world. They weren't supposed to lose.

But I had now hurt two of their friends. I'd been upgraded from joke, to prank, to a game, to formality, to annoyance, to nuisance, to chore... and now... suddenly, I was something they had a hard time even understanding let alone figuring out how to actually react to. I was a threat. And they weren't about to retreat.

So the horde descended upon me, pounding through my barriers. This was taking a lot more out of me than I wanted to give away.

"Ya can't fight the entire universe! There's no way ya can win!"

"And that proves you've been in this fishbowl too long AJ! You've forgotten how much you love a REAL CHALLENGE instead of a self imposed one!"

Dodging projectiles from building sized party cannons. Being frozen, bombed, time slowed, slashed, burned, wrapped up by vines, lightning struck, flailed by wind, water sprayed, all thanks to the techniques of the Celestial brush gods Gilda had learned. Having to out-will the Stare, good old fashioned quasi-divine palomino pony bucks to the face, fighting even if your body is turned into crystal and then you have to restructure it, and of course the giant cakes.

I was running out of options fast, and the options I would have were looking less and less pretty.

= Intertwined - Wonderful 101 =

What happened next wasn't part of anypony's plan. My own personal amazon brigade showed up. 171,014 orange heroes came crashing through with all the subtlety of a marching band. How had they known? How had ALL of them gotten excused from their responsibilities so they could be here? Brute-forcing their way in... but I was here... so of course they could come too... them's were the rules... after all... What was a goddess without her messengers?

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT THEY ARE!

"SCOOTALOO! GET AWAY! RETREAT!" I screamed. I couldn't bear the idea of my little squirts getting crushed and humiliated by their overpowered titans.

"For Princess Fidelitas The Radically Awesomely Cool!" Shouted Scootaloo #1, a rainbow sheen to their primary feathers.

Didn't the little idiots know they weren't supposed to ignore their goddess when she's telling you to get out of the crossfire?!

The arrival of 171,014 various Scootaloos gave the battle a moment of pause. I didn't want to imagine how many wires this crossed for the gods of Asgard. Each of my little Scootaloos is unique, no matter how much alike they may look. Not to mention how many had opted to be reborn as different species or work for different gods.

1698 wore frocks of dark and faded gray.

20 Chimeras with a total of 60 heads, each one an individual.

1007 dragons and 368 dragon/pony hybrids.

900 crystal ponies.

812 griffons and 75 hippogriffs.

503 breezies.

499 bat ponies.

332 changelings.

8 minotaurs.

10017 dressed in red pajamas and armed with pitchforks.

28026 had a skull painted over their faces.

531 orange and purple wolves.

11 with skeletal wings armed with scythes.

101 merponies who swam through space. Triplet seaponies swimming with them.

70 unicorns with a lighter shade of violet to their manes, and 70 earth ponies with an apple themed cutie mark. 30 who bore Fluttershy's family's long mane, and 30 rock farmer/party ponies, and 30 unicorns from Twilight's bloodline. And 80 who bore my family's rainbow mane.

7 dressed as Saddle Arabian royalty, and 4 as part of the Neighponese royal family.

69 as creatures from across the universe Ponies hadn't even made first contact with yet.

2 with a hourglass cutie mark with wings or a lightning bolt.

A Virgasus who wore Zecora's earrings. She wasn't alone, there were 489 other Virgasi or Zebra with her.

A foursome of donkey/pegasi mules.

18 that had swirl marks on their foreheads and legs.

1709 were spirits of heaven only.

7 were yokai that bore Anarchy's presence, 4 under Rancor, and 10 under Discord.

100 angels who were under Cadence.

1 angel who had a silver streak through her mane and an Anasi like smirk. Another angel who had purple scales like Spike. And another angel who bore the barding of Princess Gaia. (She should have been with Flutternice dammit!). Along with 12 more with her barding.

35 orange little pegasi djinn.
The 12154 who had chosen to be born as 'Scootaloo' at a different time and place in the universe I was supposed to be building.

999 'freelance' angels who protected the foals with none to turn to without being bound to any particular concept but recognized by Fauna Luster.

26910 Scootaloo angels in waiting to see if any of their number would become a goddess.

And the 84217, who had originally promised to become my angels if I became a concept. All baring my colors on their wings. Wait, one was missing.

They came... so many...

Scootaloo the draconequus herself shouted. "Where did all of you COME FROM?!"

"No worldline left behind!" Scootaloo 300,010 shouted, loud and clear despite the airless void!

"Most of you serve other concepts, or aren't bound to me girls! Just get out before you get hurt!" I shouted again!

"We won't EVER abandon you Dash!!!" Scootaloo 300,010 shouted again.

Grasping at straws, I asked, "If you're here, who's watching Baby Veritas!?"

300,010, "Don't worry! We left Scootaloo 1313!"

-

"BAM-BAM!" The baby goddess giggled as she slammed Scootaloo into the floor.

"Only for you, Dash."

-

"What the heck is this crap?! What happened to all my porn?!" Urd shouted. Alarms were blaring in her ears, and every one of her console screens had gone mad. Some monitors were showing every 'get the acorn' short from the Ice Age movie series, another showing 'The Nut Job', another 'Hoodwinked' and the sequels, 'Over The Hedge', peanut commercials, a cover of surfing bird with the word 'bird' replaced with 'nut', and finally an obnoxious let's play of 'Jotun' with a commentator who talked over all the narration!

-

"Scootaloo Army Alliance of Awesome, charge!"

Everycreature took a pause in the fighting, even with all this, I think a part of them couldn't resist seeing something new. All eyes were focused on the Scootaloos.

Cyclist Scootaloo just summoned up a giant vacuum cleaner and began to suck them in. Scootaloo! But before I could do anything, the hose was cut in two from the inside, the wing blade spell on the Scootaloo Army glowing. Cyclist Scootaloo grew to giant size and created a pair of chopsticks with a 'catch and release' bug box.

Scotaloo #1 shouted, "Unite Wings!"

In a flash, the other Scootaloos had taken formation of a pair of giant wing in an orange aura. Their flapping of solar wind pushing Cyclist Scoots back.

"Unite Staff! This is no laugh!" Zecora's Scootaloo said, and the other Scootaloos then took formation into a giant rod that she then jabbed into Cyclist Scoots repeatedly.

"Turn to chickens!" C.Scoots snapped her claws.

Time seemed to slow.

"Unite hat!" Said Anasi's Scootaloo, and they took the glowing formation of Trixie's magician's cap, the draconequus magic BOUNCED OFF and C.Scoots became a chicken. With a cluck she changed back to her Draconequus self.

She created a giant boxing glove which she fired at the Scootaloo Alliance who scattered.

"Unite Pitchfork!" Scootaloo #66,666 shouted BEHIND the draconequus, and she jabbed the trident into C. Scootaloo's behind.

"NOW YOU'RE REALLY GONNA GET IT!"

"Unite Apples!" And my Scootaloo wearing a neck bandanna kicked the giant apples at the draconequus.

"Really?" She summoned a giant pie tin and a giant empty jar of cider, not looking impressed at all.

"Unite Boulder!" Said one of my Scootaloo in a frock. The Apples recombined into a giant familiar looking rock that smashed right into C.Scootaloo! Ugh, that must've hurt!

"Unite Stare!" Scoots' wearing Princess Gaia's armor shouted. And the Scootaloo Army arranged themselves into an imitation of Fluttershy's features glowing yellow. C.Scootaloo found herself paralyzed. I could actually feel Fluttershy's essence!

"Unite Awesome Dash!" The next one had me blinking; they arranged themselves into a glowing aura shape of me... who promptly grabbed C.Scootaloo and gave her a spanking.

"OW! HEY! NO FAIR! You all ganged up on me!"

"FORM! ELEMENT OF HARMONY!" My jaw dropped as Scootaloo arranged so they were forming the most intricate pattern of harmony magic I'd ever see. The seven lights began to power up for a giant finisher. Then they flickered and died down.

"Uh... " The Scootaloo Alliance all looked at each other awkwardly. "Did somepony not believe?"

"Maybe we're not in sync enough?"

"Okay, we got Scootaloos who are loyal, kind, magical, honest, generous, trust-worthy, and funny... did we miss something?"

"Maybe we ran out of steam?"

C.Scootaloo meanwhile glared with lightning crackling form glowing red eyes. Her clenched fists burned as miniature suns. Her teeth ground with enough force to create black holes.

"Uh... can you give us a minute?" Anasi's Scootaloo asked.

"No." She slammed two planets together right at them. The Scootaloo Army scattered in every direction.

That was an unspoken sign for the rest of the Cyclists to get back to attacking me. C.Scootaloo created an anti-aircraft gun and began firing away at my fillies. The other two CMC meanwhile pulled out a couple of automated space fleets that would have made any space empire jealous.

"Scootaloo! None of you have the experience for this fight! Withdraw!"

"But Dash..."

"That's an order!"

"You handle the rest! We'll keep Patchwork Scootaloo busy!"

"HEY!" The draconequus said.

"You focus on the rest!"

"Black Rose Barrage!" shouted the smock wearing Scootaloos together, producing black roses I knew came from the Chains-Of-Love Orphanage. And a shadow of existence, of every Scootaloo I'd failed to save from Oblivion, formed from those roses, and fired like bullets THROUGH C. Scootaloo, even if they didn't cause any visible damage.

"OW! WHAT THE- WHAT THE HAZELNUTS ARE THESE THINGS?! HEY, STOP THAT!" She began swatting the shadows of existence away.

Okay. Note to self: when this is over, I really have to work on getting the Scootaloo Alliance to actually LISTEN to me!