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POV Of A Reharmonized Pony: Rainbow Dash

Yes! Everything went just as planned. I still have my closest friends' trust and faith, Cloudsdale is still there, Discord's beaten...

And all I had to do was use my own friends' trust against them, play on their expectations, and play myself off as the arrogant self serving little nag I was back when I was best friends with Gilda. Oh, and pretend I was completely deluded.

My name is Rainbow Dash, fastest and best flyer in Equestria (save the Wonderbolts of course), and I hold one of the Elements of Harmony: Loyalty.

And just a short bit ago I betrayed my best friends, a quest given by my Princess, and the world, all for the sake of my home and my species.

The Elements were stolen by this big bad guy named Discord and we were lured into this maze the Elements were supposed to be at, got separated and I got thrown an impossible choice: Let my home and everyone in it be destroyed ... or betray my buddies and saving the world.

I knew we'd win, we'd have to win, there was no way we couldn't win. I knew things would HAVE to turn out alright. I figured the others could hold the fort while I saved my home ... so I quit Discord's game at his own offer, and instantly made the others lose. I didn't turn back. Yes, it hurt.

And it didn't stop hurting.

I put everything I had into my returned wings to get to Cloudsdale. Still in one piece. Still together. Unfortunately, I was going too fast to stop. I nearly performed another Sonic Rainboom as I crashed into the highest building in the center of Cloudsdale.

Discord appeared in an instant. "Oh lookie! You made it just in time! I guess I can't go leaving everyone you know with wings homeless after all! Not to mention all those pegasi in the city hospital with broken wings who may or may not have been able to have been saved by others before they went SPLAT!" Discord chuckled at that. Bastard.

"Now..." He said in a disturbingly calm tone. "How about I tell everyone what a wonderful job you did!" My blood turned to water.

"NO!" I charged at Discord, but he just vanished and reappeared a few steps to one side. I crashed into the side of a building, only for part of the building to turn into a cloudy hand and toss me back to his side. Like it was where I belonged.

Discord produced a megaphone from nowhere and began to shout into it. "ATTENTION ALL PEGASI! ATTENTION ALL PEGASI! MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION?"

The various pegasi stopped in their tracks, whether on a cloud or in the air, and turned towards me and Discord (whose body language was way too chummy for me).

"I AM DISCORD THE GREAT AND REALLY GREAT LORD OF DISHARMONY AND CONFUSION! BESIDE ME IS RAINBOW DASH! ONE OF THE SIX KEEPERS OF THE ELEMENTS OF HARMONY, IN HER CASE LOYALTY! AND SHE HAS PROVEN HER LOYALTY TO YOU, THE PEOPLE OF CLOUDSDALE..."

"No! Please! STOP!" I screamed.

"BY EXCHANGING YOUR SAFETY WITH DOOMING THE REST OF THE WORLD!" They all gasped. There was silence as a giant spot light came from nowhere above me and my face appeared on a giant, floating screen behind me.

Stunned silence ruled the moment, many recognizing me as the winner of 'Best Young Flyer' from that year.

I wanted to fly away, but my wings felt so heavy.

"NOW WHAT DO YOU FEEL FOR THIS PEGASUS WHO IS YOUR HERO? WHO SAVED YOUR HOMES AND LIVELIHOOD BY DOOMING THE LIVES OF ALL OTHER LIVING THINGS?"

I got about one or two cheers ... among an overwhelming wave of boos and pathetically aimed rotten fruit that angry people seem to be able to summon at will.

"PLEASE-! I didn't mean this! I--"

"You knew what was going to happen, my dear. Why act so surprised now?"

I felt sick.

The noise went on for several seconds before Discord said casually, "Oh don't worry, they're all about to become too insane to care or remember what I just told them. That was all for your sake my dear."

It was a knife in the gut. "BUT YOU SAID-"

"I said the foundations of home would crumble without you ... I never said I wouldn't improve the locals with some heavy doses of chaos!"

"DON'T YOU DARE!" Discord's tail wrapped around me before I could complete my charge at him. Then he produced a small white glove and slapped me in the face a few times.

"Oh my my my. Aren't you a spoiled little pony. First I give you your wings back, I spare your home, I let everyone know you're the reason they were spared so they'd know what a great and loyal hero to your own people you are, and then when they aren't being appreciative, I decide to give you a gift by making them stop being able to care that you betrayed almost all of Equestria. You need some manners."

I can't remember the last time I cried. I don't want to. But I was struggling to keep the tears from forming. "Please don't do this. Let them hate me, let them be angry at me, let them-"

"Blah, blah, blah, who are you now Pinkie Pie? Or is that now Rainbow Crash? Rainbow Ditch? Or maybe Traitor Dash? Anyway..."

All Discord needed to do was snap his fingers, and the screen showing my face turned into swirling circles of colors I was very familiar with.

"DON'T LOOK!" They didn't listen.

The screen got everypony's attention fast. They stared like zombies for a couple of seconds ... then some fell down to the clouds drooling and soiling themselves as they dragged themselves along on their front hooves babbling random noises. Others broke out laughing, their eyes crossed as they flew in chaotic patterns, crashing into each other and cloud buildings but not showing as if they felt it. Some locked their legs together and began to fly around in rigid square patterns, making sounds like engines. Others fell trying to fly with their hooves and trot with their wings while giggling at everything. One little pink filly I think I knew whose name began with 'C' actually began gnawing at her own wings!

"Oh, just look at them now!" Discord giggled. "This is a classic!"

"MAKE IT STOP!" I begged Discord.

Discord said in a 'what have we learned now?' voice. "Now, now. This is the choice you made dear. No going back on things like that. Now if you'll excuse me, I have Ponyville, Canterlot, and everywhere else to spruce up back to how it was before those two alicorns messed up my beautiful chaos. Tootles!" He vanished.

I could only stare in shock. I tried to stop the other Pegasi from hurting themselves ... for about a minute before I was beat and bucked three ways from Sunday by mad wings and mad hooves and was practically knocked out of the sky.

I couldn't bear to look at it any longer. I fled like a coward. Maybe that's what I've been this whole time. Fluttershy's always scared but faces her fears, but when I get scared, I just run from my fears.

I desperately flew back to the others. When I didn't find them in the Canterlot Gardens I flew back along the route we had taken from Ponyville.

Of course I didn't find out until later that they had all faced similar games by Discord to break them. It didn't even occur to me he'd want to break the others too ... Yeah, I'm a total egocentric for a gal who's supposed to be the embodiment of loyalty aren't I?

As I flew back to Ponyville to get back with the others ... I saw at a distance exactly how they were acting ... and what they looked like. Their colors were muted like mine (except Twilight) and they had their wings and horns back.

I flew up behind them, not sure how to go about explaining myself, or if I could explain myself. But as I was getting close, the landscape began twisting, the day and night went as mad as the weather. They weren't about to notice one pegasus in this jumbled mess.

And that was when I got close enough to hear them.

Fluttershy was acting like ten Gildas! Pinkie Pie looked like Pinkamina The Bad Remake! Twilight didn't look too happy either. AJ looked sour. And Rarity was ranting about a boulder she was carrying around that she insisted was a giant diamond named Tom.

I had done all this. I had done it all. Everything was my fault!

I had to get away again, I had to fly away -again-. So I flew away from my now mostly insane friends as fast I could. I didn't even THINK of approaching Twilight who was still sane and asking for her help. Since when do I ever think?

Soon enough I found a nearby cloud, crammed into it like it could make me vanish, and threw-up over the side. Who says ponies can't puke?

And I just stayed there. Feeling sorry for myself and reminding myself what a self-serving backstabber I was.

The others found me. I noticed them before they noticed me somehow. I saw they were alive and well and themselves again, unlike me. I wanted to fly down there and kiss Twilight's hooves and beg for forgiveness. But they'd never trust me again in a million years. And I couldn't take that.

So I played the role of the brainwashed pawn, I pretended to be a delusional mad pony, I fought them tooth and hoof, I made them pay through the nose, so they'd never even dream that everything I had done could not have been due purely to the curse Discord put on me. And with one moment of anger at Discord from Fluttershy ... they caught me and held me down like the mad pony I was acting like. And Twilight's horn touched my head.

Twilight's spell didn't erase my memories of my betrayal, so much for that small hope. Instead it tortured me worse than Discord ever could by showing me every single moment in my life I proved I was better than I was today over and over and over when I didn't abandon others for my own hide.

In other words, I'm not unworthy of the Element of Loyalty, and it's not that I haven't grown up since I didn't bother to check on Fluttershy after I found out she fell during the pegasus race; I just blew it.

So we faced the devil himself, and we fought our hardest. The sicko's ego proved to be his undoing when he didn't realize the others had their heads back on straight until we blasted him. And everything was sane again.

At least Discord's gone. Stone again. Hopefully for a lot longer than over a thousand years this time. And with him, the only one who could tell the others what he really did to me. The people of Cloudsdale pass off what they remember as just one more delusion ... I guess it's easier for them to take than knowing the truth. That other version of AJ would be proud I guess.

We got our recognition by everyone in Canterlot for saving the world, again. Pinkie Pie threw the party of all parties. I can't say I didn't have fun.

I'm back home now. Trying to sleep and drown out the nightmares. That was when there was a knock at the door. Well, as much as knocking works with clouds.

It was late at night with Luna's moon high in the sky. I had no clue that it would be, "Scootaloo?"

The little filly looked up at me, uncharacteristically silent in my presence. I was going to ask how she got up here or if she had finally learned how to use her wings right when I noticed the crashed skateboard half stuck in my house's cloudbank.

The little orange blank flank pegasus asked in an uncharacteristically small tone, "Hi Rainbow Dash. Can I ... can I stay with you tonight?"

I blinked. "Huh? Why? What about your parents?"

"I d-... they ... Please?"

I knelt down staring in her eyes. "Scootaloo, talk to me, you can always talk to the Dash."

"Can we talk inside? It's kinda cold."

I nodded and led her inside.

A few minutes later we were sitting in the mess I passed off as my living space. I asked, "Now why do you want to sleep with me tonight?"

"I normally sleep in the club house, but ... I don't wanna tonight."

'The club house? What about her family?' I thought just more confused. "Why don't you want to?"

"Cause I don't deserve to be a Cutie Mark Crusader."

"HUH?"

"When that big nasty snake-dragon-goat thing came to Ponyville and everyone started acting weird, we were at the club house trying to be Cutie Mark Crusader Samurai, then Cutie Mark Crusader Hula Dancers, and-"

"Scootaloo."

"So Applebloom tried to run to Sweet Apple Acres to help her family, and Sweetie Belle to her sister and ... as soon as they ran into Ponyville ... Applebloom turned all black and red and began to sink and rise out of the ground with a huge grin on her face ... and Sweetie Belle turned into a big dolly and just kept putting on and taking off clothes ... and I RAN AWAY! And I KEPT RUNNING AWAY UNTIL I SAW THE RAINBOOM! Then I knew you beat that big monster ... and ... I came back ... I didn't even try to help them! I RAN AWAY! I ALWAYS RUN AWAY! I AM A RUN AWAY!"

'You ran away?' I thought.

"Scootaloo ... if you had followed them into Ponyville ... what do you think would have happened?"

"... I think I would have turned into a chicken or something."

"And would that have helped your friends?"

"No?" Scootaloo said in confusion.

"Scootaloo ... you're not a 'run away.' There was no choice you could have made different then that would have changed things. You did the only thing you could do, you kept yourself from getting hurt. If you could have helped them, that would be different but you couldn't."

" But I shouldn't have given up ANYWAY! You're supposed to not give up no matter how impossible! I should have found a way!"

"No. That's how you're 'supposed to be' an idiot! You knew what would happen. Throwing yourself away when it wouldn't help your buddies wouldn't be brave, it would be stupid.... Scootaloo, we all face impossible choices. And if there was a way to help them, you can't blame yourself for not acting on something you didn't know! If I knew about some things after did I something... geeze, this is weird. Look Scootaloo, you're NOT a coward. If there was a better way you didn't know it then. And everyone is safe now. So don't go hurting yourself over something that's over and done with. So how'd Applebloom and Sweetie Belle feel about it?"

Scootaloo sniffled. "They don't know I ran away, that I abandoned them."

"You didn't abandon them! Stop saying that squirt! You 'abandoned' whatever it was Discord turned'em into..." I thought over carefully what to say next. Where was Fluttershy when I really needed her? Or Pinkie Pie? Or Twilight? Or ... anypony but me? "Scootaloo, if you're really that sure that what you did was a bad thing, then REMEMBER it! Remember what happened! You made the choice that got LESS ponies hurt, not more! If Applebloom and Sweetie Belle are really your friends then they'll forgive you! But..." Daylight hit my brain in the dead of night. "You have to forgive yourself first. If you can't do that, what difference will the rest make?"

Scootaloo stayed silent for a bit. I didn't think everything I said would sink in (the Crusaders had proven rather dense) but I hoped a little would find its way in.

"Thank you Dash. Can I ... can I still stay with you tonight?"

"Okay kiddo . . . just tonight."

She was asleep in seconds in my bed. It reminded me of when I used to sleep in bed with my mom when I was scared out of my wits by some nasty nightmares. Whatever monsters wanted to haunt Scootaloo's sleep tonight, I promised they'd have to go through me first.

I don't normally give a lot of thanks to the Alicorn Sisters, but tonight I thanked Princess Luna for her night delivering my own little redeemer to me.
AUDIO ADAPTION!!! I said adaption! Not just dramatic reading! This thing has original art, voice actors, and ORIGINAL MUSIC, and a BUCKING COOL intro sequence! CHECK IT OUT PLEASE!!! [link]

A spiritual sequel of sorts to my earlier POV of my take of Rainbow Dash being corrupted by Discord.
[link]

Previous Part: [link]
Next Part: [link]

Status quo is restored and harmony and Celestia balance Equestia once again. But was there more to Rainbow Dash's story that we never saw? What was it? And how does it effect her afterwards?

The entire original Discorded POV series can be found here.

[link]

This isn't part of my Discorded Ponies POV series persay, since it's told in third person narrative. But I felt it needed to be here. Since it does count as a sort of spiritual sequel.

The entire Recovery/Healing/REharmonized POV series can be found here:
[link]

Recovery POVs In order:
Fluttershy and Flutter Cruel: [link]
Rainbow Dash: Here
Rarity: [link]
Applejack: [link]
Pinkamina: [link]
Twilight Sparkle: [link]
Rainbow Dash True Healing: [link]
The One And Only Trixie: [link]
Penultimate Alpha 01 and 02 (actually part of the same chapter split due to size limits): [link] [link]
Fluttercruel and Fluttershy: [link]
Penultimate Beta02: [link]
Teacher Teacher: [link]


A direct sequel to this POV. [link]

Edit: Corrected a little grammar and tried to make RD's chat with Scoots a little more in character.

MPL: FiM Copyright to Hasbro

POV SIDE STORY CANTERLOT CHAOS: (Consider canon of your own free will!)
[link]


AND NOW WE HAVE OUR TV TROPES PAGE! YAY! [link]

EDITED BY PHAZON FARMER

2012 01 28th Edited by Saphroneth [link]

Also, "Place For Us" From Voyage Of the Dawn Treader fits perfectly I think with RD and Scoots snuggling IMHO.

20120607 r1ck3t edits.

20130329: The artist is "Mickeymonster" taken from the audio adaption.
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This was painful, in that gutpunching, "I am going to pony hell for enjoying this" kinda way. Other than the typo and grammar issues noted above, I can't see how you could have written this better. The narrative is absolutely beautiful, I can practically hear the pain in her voice as I read...pain that stays there throughout the whole thing. The bit at the end with Scootaloo is heartwarming, and I like how she was used as a sort of...proxy, I guess? Of Dash's situation. Plus the blatant foreshadowing of Scoot's {THIS EXCERPT HAS BEEN REMOVED DUE TO SPOILERS} is fairly well done. Everyone's perfectly in character, scenario permitting, and...well, to be honest, mild interest was why I started reading the series, continued curiosity as to what happens next and what Reharmonized was kept me reading through Pearls, and then this exact chapter is the reason I've been as devoted a fan as I am. Yeah there are mistakes, but none that I can really dock points over. The interactions are flawlessly executed and perfectly arranged, and this is one of those chapters that nearly brings tears to my eyes...
Score 10001: Wondrous Victory. (Mainly because I feel like it. For the few flaws I could find with it, a person's first chapter is like his first doctor: no matter how bad things get, you just can't bring yourself to dislike anything about them. For this chapter only, thank you. Now to find something to not be a pansy about...)
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After Fluttershy’s surprise guest, we continue our story with Rainbow Dash’s revelation.

In order to hide the fact that she actually betrayed her friends and the entire world for the sake of her home she had to trick her best friends. She did this by playing with their expectations and acting like she was a twisted version of herself. And it worked.

The irony that the Element of Loyalty is so good at manipulation isn’t lost on her. But that she is smarter than most give her credit for actually works very well. Even before she starts reading, she comes up with several complex and difficult flying moves on her own.

Discord’s choice is just horrible: Either letting her home and the rest of the pegasi there perish or leaving her friends and the quest to save the world behind.

She chooses to betray her friends and the world.

Despite suffering horrible pain, she keeps telling herself that the others will win on their own, that they never lost and will not loose right now.

The pegasus wasn’t able to accept that she failed and lost Discord’s sick game. Which leaves a rather interesting question, was it ever possible to win against him? Likely not. She had to choose between two loyalties and no choosing one would mean to abandon both.

Then she rushes to her home and it is still safe. Discord appears for no other reason, than to torture her further.

He acts like there was an invisible timer and Rainbow Dash should be grateful that she made it just in time to safe Cloudsdale. We also get a reminder that the injured or children might have all died if this place fell from the sky. Not to mention that Discord could have dropped it on other place if he wanted to, like Ponyville.

Then Discord tells everyone present what Rainbow Dash did for them and to the rest of the world. There is no reason to actually do this, besides the fact that the Draconequus is enjoying to see the Element of Loyalty suffer.

The pegasus tries to stop him but his magic forces Rainbow Dash to stand by his side as he reveals the entire truth to all pegasi, all to make it look like she had become his minion. And in the Epilogue she did end up in this position, together with the rest of her corrupted friends.

There is nothing she can do to stop him from delivering his twisted praise.

The entire event is build exactly to turn her own desire for attention against her: Discord screams the truth out with a megaphone, a giant spot light focuses on the miserable pegasus and a giant, floating screen shows everyone the face of the pained Rainbow Dash.

Many recognize her as the winner of the “Best Young Flyer” competition, again turning her own victory against her.

A few either very stupid or disturbing people actually applaud Rainbow Dash for this. But most of them hate her and form an angry mob.

Then he turns everyone insane with his chaos further proving that Discord did the entire thing for his own sick amusement.

Rainbow Dash merely assumed that the other pegasi would be safe but the Draconequus used the classical “Exact Words” tactic. The foundations didn’t crumble just as promised but he never said anything about the inhabitants themselves.

The worst thing is that he still acts like he is doing Rainbow Dash a favour. He gave him his wings back so that he would loose the game. He spared his home so the pegasus could suffer more. He told everyone what she did just to make her suffering even worse. He turned them insane to break her, to show her that she achieved nothing by leaving her friends behind.

Again Rainbow Dash can do nothing to stop him.

Discord uses the same giant, floating screen he used to mock Rainbow Dash to turn everyone insane. Their madness is creepy, disturbing and actively harming the ponies by crashing into each other and objects. One even starts to gnaw her own wings off.

After the Draconequus leaves to make others suffer, Rainbow Dash tries to help the demented ponies from hurting themselves but they actively prevent this by attacking her. This is likely part of Discord’s special brand of madness.

There is nothing she can do. So Rainbow Dash runs away feeling like a coward. She is even jealous of Fluttershy who in the end always faced her fears, so far at least.

Then she flies back to her friends. It never occurred to her that Discord would try to break the others as well. The irony is that Rainbow Dash was the last one to break in the labyrinth. Again she blames herself for not realizing his plan.

In the chaotic surrounding the pegasus is able to sneak up on the others and sees and hears that everyone besides Twilight had become twisted parodies of themselves. Rainbow Dash continues to blame herself for this despite the fact that their corruptions happened before her own.

Once more she runs away and abandons the only sane friend she had left: Twilight. Again she blames herself for not realizing how to think right in this world of madness.

Eventually the pegasus hides inside her little cloud and sees the return of her healed friends. More than anything she wants to fly down to them and beg for forgiveness for all of her mistakes. But at the same time Rainbow Dash doesn’t want to loose their friendship.

So she played the deluded pawn. Rainbow Dash played this role so good that her friends would have almost failed if it were not for Fluttershy’s sudden burst of energy. Discord would not appreciate the irony.

Then Twilight’s memory spell hurts even worse than Discord’s manipulation because Rainbow Dash is shown every moment where she didn’t fail, where she was just as loyal as she felt she had to be.

This in turn restores her own hope when she remembered that she could learn for her mistakes and become better like she did after she abandoned Fluttershy.

Discord fails because his ego easily surpasses his own power and faces a rather anticlimactic but fitting defeat.

But with Discord out of the picture there is no one who actually remembers Rainbow Dash’s failure. The insane pegasi had seen weirder things that day and the other heroes are convinced by her performance. Rainbow Dash is still ashamed about her deception.

After a long celebration and party Rainbow Dash finally tries to get some sleep only to meet Scootaloo.

The normally energetic filly acts very different, small and insecure. And she immediately switched topics when Rainbow Dash asks about her parents. We also get the surprising information that Scootaloo regularly sleeps at the club house of the CMC and not at home.

The filly thinks she doesn’t deserve to be a Cutie Mark Crusader anymore, because when Applebloom turned into a zombie and Sweetie Bell became a creepy doll she just ran away. Like Rainbow Dash did.

And Rainbow Dash is smart enough to actually calm Scootaloo down and make her realize that there was nothing she could have done with the things she knew. Both were trapped in an impossible choice where there was no option to act heroic. And the entire time Rainbow Dash is able to keep her own failure secret.

Eventually Rainbow Dash advices her to remember what happened, to try to forgive herself and to tell her friends and if they are really her friends they will forgive her. All while realizing that she just spelled out the solution to her own problem.

But she stills allows the little pegasus to stay with her to protect her from her nightmares. Rainbow Dash also realizes that by helping Scootaloo she found the way to her own redemption.

Overall a great chapter with a lot of character development for Rainbow Dash and a disturbing look at Discord’s kind of “fun”. In the end the pegasus can’t overcome her trauma herself but with the help from an unexpected source she managed to start her own redemption.
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EndermanBoss Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2015
Language mix-up for this chapter.

Page eleven Dash: a POV Reharmonized pony

Yes it is! If all of which according to the plan. Are you still upset Cloudsdale still confidence and trust my closest friends, "......

Once again, I and all the people are against them, because we own the "Trust expectations used in the play, when my friend and Gilda, and we do a horse proud little for himself off as his coat. Oh, I never pretended to be confused.

My name is Rainbow Dash, Equestria fastest and best flyer (always keep Wonderbolts), I also hold one of the elements of harmony: fidelity.

This is a small cottage at the end of the fight and my friend planted, my daughter, is dedicated to all the adventures in the world.

Elements commonly referred to larger names of criminals stealing the people, it is considered to be ambiguous or lure them, and I have parted mission impossible choice, change into beautiful: it is in my house, everybody assumed cleared. .. Or holding force behind the world.

There is a way that we can win, we win, we want to win. I would go for one thing, you can be notified. I saved the house, if a person can hold the fort ... So I want to offer to resign from the game, and made a loss of more direct. I can not go back. Yes, it hurts.

That did not stop the Hurt.

I Cloudsdale back to earth mountain, I'm all set. Lost in a wrestling. Still the same. Unfortunately, I have to stop to go fast. Also Cloudsdale building top, almost crashing into the implementation of Sonic Rainboom other.

Direct evidence discord. "Laras_hati Oh! And make her own! I love all the wings of the homeless, you know, everyone is leaving, so I can not enter a relief! Or maybe I do not have any wings broken, and in a city hospital, but not all of the Pegasus open, snapped before he went over to save! "discordant laughter. Damn.

"Now ......" She is a calm tone disturbing. "That's your job is done well, teach it!" My water into blood.

"NO!" I usually power, but he disappeared a few steps, arrived. I also have to be turbid, the last building my number, crashed into the side of a building. I asked where.

Disharmony began to shout in order of Britain. "Mas Spa! Masi Quan! I can Maas"

Pegasus cloud in different atmospheres, or stop on the track, and I, and (body language, that too Chummy for me) in one direction.

"Not much confusion and discord and actually grand ဆိုင်ရာစာအုပ် God! I Allegiance issue in! Pillars and six guards element should one of those people who are compassionate dash! He created, he proved his loyalty CLOUDSDALE ......"

"What! Stop good." I screamed.

"THE WORLD and lost while the rest of the exchange of security!" They all gasped. Giants say parents can not come in contact. I am carrying my face large, floating on the screen according to date had remained silent.

A lot of surprises from the rest of the year "," Best Young Flyer "recognized me in championship, the current rule.

I want to fly away, but the wings and feel so heavy.

"Now, you have all the stuff life is made of life lost homes and means of livelihood of those, who was once saved your hero? Pegasus feel for this"

I am angry. That seems to be booed rotten fruit and a bad flood wave between unintentional ...... testimony twelve people crowded.

"I beg you, I did not mean it -!"

"Do you know what happened to my dear, why do it so surprised at this?"

I feel sick.

She casually said, "We care about the pot, or I want to mention the ice too, worry, you do not need, not sex, because all of this." Before you stop many times on the road, in

This is a knife in the stomach. "But you ID-"

"Me and some confusion and citizens weight can not be said, however ...... add deflated home base without you!"

"How dare you!" I was in command, I wrapped the disharmony supplement tail. Then he took out a small white gloves, throw in my face several times.

"I, I, I, oh, you have a spoiled little horse did not. First of all, I, at home, and do not let go, back to you, wings, instead it will be faithful to you so you know how big a reason to forgive similar , including full aware of their heroes, they thank me when you do not, then I think you put into institutions that govern gift Equestria that could stop you to decide. if it would be. "

I called them, I can not remember the last time. I want to do. But, I have formed, and strive to continue to cry. "Please do not do that. When they exit the anger of my sheep, let us, then let them hate me!"

"Nonsense, pink pie Blah, Blah? Or falling glass was eleven, eleven channels not glass? Or betrayed dash? Anyway ......"

All you need to grip the fingers, and the image of the finger is not very familiar with the screen so the color of the circle.

"Do not look!" But will not listen.

Notes screen everypony quickly. Random disorder in the film again along the first quarter, then some drooling and cloud dirty fallen for a few seconds, looked like a zombie do not want to drag. Others break out laughing flight mode again through the eyes of the cloud, the other crashed into the building, but did not feel so when displayed. Some parts are locked together, the sound of the engine, the first table rigid flying into orbit. Flanker other business trot giggled while flying hoofs. And the name is not his own wings began to gnaw the 'C' starts. This seems a little pink pony!

"Oh, look!" Disharmony giggled. "This is a classic!"

"Stop!" I am often asked.

A discordant said, 'We now need to learn' voice. "Now, now, this is the option you do, dear, no one in the end it still remains the case, it gives me reason for this is that the mountain now Ponyville, Canterlot there and elsewhere is how to return two alicorns Spruce not expect quick . Figure screwed up before! "he perished.

I stare upwards. I broke three ways contrarian practice Sunday knocked out of the sky mad mad activity. Minute ...... I tried to prevent harm to the Pegasus.

I never could. I ran the football championship. This may not be a whole at this time. Jung Min, but always afraid to face her fears, but when I run scared worried.

I flew a lot of people. I found him to fly back to Ponyville Canterlot us along in the garden.

I would disassociate all of them are facing the same game, but did not find until later. Farmers who want to break ...... he does not occur to me, my faithful one hundred girls do not always IÉgocentrique

I would have to resign after he flew from Ponyville ...... I played at the end of what I see in the distance ...... contact and see what they do. Color is (one head.) Radio silent wings behind their horns.

Below is an axiomatic. I do not know how to fly behind it, or can not explain myself. I start to squeeze Unfortunately, there are many ways, but, like night and day, that crazy weather. Come on, they have no obstacle is complicated by the fact that they did not notice the Pegasus.

I'm sure to hear.

Jung Min behave like Gildas ten! Pink pie looks like a remake JadeMiner! The evening, it is that they do not look very happy. AJ looked sour. It is rare, he said he named Tom diamond giant insists that carry boulders branch.

It all. I have not. All my fault!

I'll leave the house, I -again- fly away. However, I fasted, I put away as much as possible, as a friend, and now the weather is usually ice. City you still sane way down, they do not consider her help. Ever since I have been

Indeed, I could disappear, so crammed, and meet up at the side of the store virtual casting. He said that the horse can not vomit?

I have them. I'm sorry, and I feel the time is now, the use of warning backstabber itself.

Others find me. Before they way I noticed I noticed them. Changes to me, and they live to see it to feel good about themselves. I fly, I want to ask you release either smell. Million years, but they will trust me, never. I will get the money. I do not think again.

That is why I, he pretended role brainwashed pawn Crazy Horse, and I went from that, I will pay through the nose. So, I will do everything that they can always in my dreams from the curse away. Jung Min moments angry ...... they catch me, I'm like a jerk မြင်းကဲ့သို့ hold me down. Head contact angle so the leadership.

Magic head Kang, betray hope very small, so do not cancel my memories.

Will take language requests.
Reply
:icondoct1400:
doct1400 Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2014
Great chapter.

I am curious how Scoots got up there and that's some mighty fine rationalization Dashie pulled there.  Scoots might have been in an impossible position but Dashie. . .not quite the same.
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:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2014
How Scoots got up there is mentioned in passing a LONG LONG time later. 

And Rainbow Dash's healing isn't over yet. 
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:iconcommanderchristian:
commanderchristian Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2013  Student Artist
DISCORD MY NAME IS SILVER THE HEDGEHOG*turns to super silver*AND FOR THE SAKE OF THE FUTURE YOU MUST DIE
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:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2013
You should read the REST of the series. Those words are very ironic. 
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:iconcommanderchristian:
commanderchristian Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2013  Student Artist
Why?
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:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2013
Because it's shock, dramatic, and surprising.
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:iconcommanderchristian:
commanderchristian Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2013  Student Artist
Wow
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:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2013
It's only just begun!
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:iconcommanderchristian:
commanderchristian Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2013  Student Artist
Why
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:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2013
That would be spoiler. 
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconrhjunior:
RHJunior Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2012  Professional Artist
you obviously imply that scootaloo is a runaway. gonna resolve that?
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:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2012
Yes. Yes. Yes.
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:iconpimsleurable:
Pimsleurable Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012
I'm in the process of writing my own Rainbow Dash story, yet her opponent is a blend of Max Cady/John Doe rolled into one type character.
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:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012
And?
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:iconpimsleurable:
Pimsleurable Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012
The character is called Equine Aux, and as he is watching Rainbow Dash perform out in an open field in the middle of nowhere, he taunts her. She gets easily aroused and swoops down to confront what appears to be a grey Earth Pony, but its all part of his facade. It gets personal after what happens to her at the end.
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:iconjarkes:
Jarkes Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2012
Apple Bloom... turned black and red, and began to sink and rise out of the ground with a huge grin on her face...

...Story of the Blanks?
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:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2012
Yes. And it's FAR from the last time it'll appear in story.
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:iconbuckykatt42:
Buckykatt42 Featured By Owner May 30, 2012
Awesome just awesome.
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:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner May 30, 2012
Thanks. *hugs*
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:iconardashir:
ardashir Featured By Owner May 27, 2012
I just noticed this part:

All Discord needed to do was snap his fingers, and the screen showing my face turned into swirling circles of colors I was very familiar with.

"DON'T LOOK!" They didn't listen.

The screen got everypony's attention fast. They stared like zombies for a couple of seconds ... then some fell down to the clouds drooling and soiling themselves as they dragged themselves along on their front hooves babbling random noises. Others broke out laughing, their eyes crossed as they flew in chaotic patterns, crashing into each other and cloud buildings but not showing as if they felt it. Some locked their legs together and began to fly around in rigid square patterns, making sounds like engines. Others fell trying to fly with their hoofs and trot with their wings while giggling at everything. One little pink filly I think I knew whose name began with 'C' actually began gnawing at her own wings!


Was this inspired at all by an episode of the Dini & Timm Justice League cartoon in which the Joker staged a super-battle just so he could drive everyone watching insane? It sounds similar. Or maybe it's just a case of "insane minds (Joker and Discord) think alike"?
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:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2012
"Was this inspired at all by an episode of the Dini & Timm Justice League cartoon in which the Joker staged a super-battle just so he could drive everyone watching insane? It sounds similar. Or maybe it's just a case of "insane minds (Joker and Discord) think alike"?"

I saw that episode. I'm pretty ironically though I wasn't thinking about it at the time, but it certainly fits.
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:iconitsfrompeople:
ItsfromPeople Featured By Owner May 27, 2012
I have just seen the new episode of the audio adaptation and it is amazing: The voices, the soundtrack and especially the new art style with the anime-esque intro really breathes life into this story. There is so much effort put into it.
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:iconkilama:
Kilama Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012
Thank you from the Scootaloo VA. :)
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:iconitsfrompeople:
ItsfromPeople Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012
You are welcome!
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:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2012
You can bloody say that again.
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:iconr1ck3t:
r1ck3t Featured By Owner May 13, 2012
Equstria <- Replace with 'Equestria'

Dsicord <- Replace with 'Discord'

BESIDES ME IS RAINBOW DASH! <- Replace with 'BESIDE'

AND SHE HAS PROVEN HER LOYALY TO YOU, <- Replace with 'LOYALTY'

"BY EXCHANGING YOUR SAFETY FOR DOOMING THE REST OF THE WORLD!" <- Currently means the opposite of intended, so rewrite as 'BY DOOMING THE REST OF THE WORLD IN EXCHANGE FOR YOUR SAFETY!'

on a giant, floating screen besides me <- Replace with 'beside'

I got about one or two cheer ... <- Replace with 'cheers'

they're all about to be too insane to care <- Change to 'become'

loyal hero <- Extra space

to fly with their hoofs and trot with their wings <- Replace with 'hooves'

for a gal whose supposed to be <- Replace with "who's"

could explain <- Extra space

hear them <- Extra space

The little filly looked up at me uncharacteristically silent in my presence. <- Comma needed after 'me'

" But <- Extra space

after did <- Extra space
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:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2012
Changed it to 'with dooming the rest of the world.'
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:iconguilrel:
Guilrel Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2012
Once again another change perspective got me surprised, I totally wasn't expecting that, but I enjoyed it nevertheless. It was kind of harsh of how you put Rainbow Dash like that but it seemed to make sense that had Discord did that to her anyway. It was also a different way to look at Rainbow Dash's Discording since hers was a bit more ambiguous and it was really creative of you to come up with a different reason why Rainbow Dash kinda thought that cloud was Cloudsdale.

It was also nice of you to had Scootaloo come to Rainbow Dash in the end and in a way ended up helping both of them out in the end. It was pretty great to make this a direct sequel to the Discorded one you had of Rainbow Dash. Thanks to that, I think this is what made the first part of her story really great.
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:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2012
Once again another change perspective got me surprised, I totally wasn't expecting that, but I enjoyed it nevertheless.

This story was told totally from RD's POV I thought.

"It was kind of harsh of how you put Rainbow Dash like that but it seemed to make sense that had Discord did that to her anyway. It was also a different way to look at Rainbow Dash's Discording since hers was a bit more ambiguous and it was really creative of you to come up with a different reason why Rainbow Dash kinda thought that cloud was Cloudsdale."

Thanks. I felt mine had more punch to it (head swells). I always felt the episode Return of Harmony would have done better as a three parter for some reason.

"It was also nice of you to had Scootaloo come to Rainbow Dash in the end and in a way ended up helping both of them out in the end. It was pretty great to make this a direct sequel to the Discorded one you had of Rainbow Dash. Thanks to that, I think this is what made the first part of her story really great."

And this is where I originally intended to end the series ironically.
Reply
:iconguilrel:
Guilrel Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2012
This story was told totally from RD's POV I thought.
It's the shift from third person to first person between the two chapters for a while. Because of Fluttershy's part being mostly in third persson, I assumed Rainbow's chapter would be the same. Eventually I got used to the jump around of the "persons" as I read on.

Thanks. I felt mine had more punch to it (head swells). I always felt the episode Return of Harmony would have done better as a three parter for some reason.
Yeah yours did have more of a punch to it, although I think the voice acting went a little too far with the slapping in the audio version of this story. I always imagined slapped Rainbow once when I read it the first time.

And this is where I originally intended to end the series ironically.
Which became more than you expected it to be huh? I think I'm going to leave a sequel hook at the end of my pony story too, since I was wondering how people will go with this. Also, I'm kind of surprised I'm going to make more chapters than I thought I would. Although my story does end in 5 chapters, but I'm still going to have make a side story that will better describe my Pinkie Pie's involvement in the story's final chapter.
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:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2012
"This story was told totally from RD's POV I thought.
It's the shift from third person to first person between the two chapters for a while. Because of Fluttershy's part being mostly in third persson, I assumed Rainbow's chapter would be the same. Eventually I got used to the jump around of the "persons" as I read on."

The audio adaption compromises by having the pony in question normally be the narrator.

"Yeah yours did have more of a punch to it, although I think the voice acting went a little too far with the slapping in the audio version of this story. I always imagined slapped Rainbow once when I read it the first time."

I did say a FEW TIMES. I didn't say several.

Dude. Never leave a sequel hook unless you intend to write a sequel already. Otherwise you'll end up with an completely story and a half done sequel.
Reply
:iconardashir:
ardashir Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2012
I'd say it does read a little better now with the latest edit, though it's always been good from the first.

And this part:


"Scootaloo ... if you had followed them into Ponyville ... what do you think would have happened?"

"... I think I would have turned into a chicken or something."


Poor Scoots, it's the joke that Will Not Die. Hmm, I wonder if being called a flightless bird is some major insult in pegasus society?

And I have to thank you for writing this again, as your work along with the show itself have gotten me writing MLP fanfic. A crossover fanfic, of all things.
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:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2012
And I have twelve POVs written for one chapter/story. Only they need editing first. Hopefully they can get done today.

And yes, I imagine it would be like being called a cripple.
Reply
:iconeric-emanwu:
eric-emanwu Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2011
Ah yes, Rainbow Dash, and the results of a sadistic choice. One thing I have to wonder is just how RD is getting to confessing all this with a stranger if she won’t even admit anything to her friends. Just a thought.

Anyways, this chapter is chopped full of great things. Probably my first plus was how RD juxsaposed her betrayal of friends, quests and the world with the things she held closer from older times. (is this almost a primal reaction on her part then?) One thing that perhaps Dash should have considered was how if you save the world, wouldn’t that include cloudsdale? On the other hand, knowing Discord, he probably would have cheated anyways. And Dash’s rationale does make some sense, even if she forgot the original conditions of the game: Anyone “quits”, game over for all.

Actually though, perhaps the saddest part of the chapter was the discordian reveal to cloudsdale of Dash’s decision. One thing that had me chuckle a little was how Discord used Great to describe himself twice. Pretty funny despite the circumstances. The way that you described Dash’s overwhelming Guilt and despair was perhaps the best. On how the pegasi saw her, booed her, and then have discord beat the people instead of the location as the final twist of the knife.

“I can’t remember the last time I cried.” Oh MY Gosh! So much emotion poured into that sentence. Awesomely sad.

Oh Dash. Your personality and your element don’t always clash. But, that’s something for you to discover later. And don’t be so hard on yourself. You might be the fastest flier ever, but you’ll never be responsible for making other’s decisions unless you’re always over them. They chose to react like this, even though Discord pushed them in that direction hard! (so hard that Fluttershy had to be shoved there rather than nudged) Oh dash, do you need a hug? (does everyone in this whole series need a hug?)

“They’d never trust me again.” Oh Dash, have you learned nothing from Pinkie’s party? Why are you so quick to forget that friends can and will have the best in mind for you? Don’t you think that after a few weeks of rebuilding, they’d trust you again? Indeed, you made a mistake, and the memory spell is enough to show you that. So suck it up and admit your weakness (face reality, don’t think of yourselves as invincible)

Ah, Scootaloo, somehow you pulled a triple flip to a cloud house. Impressive. I also like the little foreshadowing you drop in Scoot’s first words being “I d-they…Please?” I’d say more, but first time readers should be spared from spoilers.

A Story of the Blanks Bloom and doll Sweetie (shudder) nasty stuff.

Also, I like that you mention that you have to be smart as well as brave in your actions. You can’t save a drowning man in a swift river and not drown in the process unless you’re planted and reach. You can try other ways, but unless you’re sure your sacrifice will be meaningful, you’ll just get in the way. That’s a way to be loyal as well.

And with those words, RD began to admit her own weaknesses, and grow as a mentor and a pony, by showing her fan why her words are important, and how self forgiveness is perhaps more important than she thought.

Hmmm, thanking Luna eh? Now that’s a nice touch, element of loyalty.

Still moving on, still moving forward.
Reply
:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2011
Ah yes, Rainbow Dash, and the results of a sadistic choice. One thing I have to wonder is just how RD is getting to confessing all this with a stranger if she won’t even admit anything to her friends. Just a thought.

It could be everything she's saying she's saying to herself. It's also possible the Interviewer(s) are natural [link] whose existence is forgotten about by the ponies once it's out of contest. Instead of being Shadows Who See, they are the Shadows Who Ask.


Anyways, this chapter is chopped full of great things. Probably my first plus was how RD juxsaposed her betrayal of friends, quests and the world with the things she held closer from older times. (is this almost a primal reaction on her part then?)

It's possible. Bloodlines run deep.

"One thing that perhaps Dash should have considered was how if you save the world, wouldn’t that include cloudsdale? "

Didn't say she was thinking straight. Which is something SHE has a lot of trouble accepting that she WASN'T thinking straight.

"On the other hand, knowing Discord, he probably would have cheated anyways. And Dash’s rationale does make some sense, even if she forgot the original conditions of the game: Anyone “quits”, game over for all."

Cruel points this out later.

"Actually though, perhaps the saddest part of the chapter was the discordian reveal to cloudsdale of Dash’s decision. One thing that had me chuckle a little was how Discord used Great to describe himself twice. Pretty funny despite the circumstances."

Welcome to Discord's Ego.

"The way that you described Dash’s overwhelming Guilt and despair was perhaps the best. On how the pegasi saw her, booed her, and then have discord beat the people instead of the location as the final twist of the knife. "

Was worried it came across as just going through the motions or flat. Nice. Heh. RD's love of attention being spat back in her face.

“I can’t remember the last time I cried.” Oh MY Gosh! So much emotion poured into that sentence. Awesomely sad.

Writers can't actually predict what their stories will evolve into or how they will speak to others, whether we like it or not. It's the simple straight forward lines that hit the hardest isn't it?

Oh dash, do you need a hug?

Yes.

(does everyone in this whole series need a hug?)

You have to ask? 0-0


Oh Dash. Your personality and your element don’t always clash. But, that’s something for you to discover later. And don’t be so hard on yourself. You might be the fastest flier ever, but you’ll never be responsible for making other’s decisions unless you’re always over them. They chose to react like this, even though Discord pushed them in that direction hard! (so hard that Fluttershy had to be shoved there rather than nudged)

Tell that to a Pegasus who just witnessed her entire home town being driven insane.


“They’d never trust me again.” Oh Dash, have you learned nothing from Pinkie’s party? Why are you so quick to forget that friends can and will have the best in mind for you? Don’t you think that after a few weeks of rebuilding, they’d trust you again? Indeed, you made a mistake, and the memory spell is enough to show you that. So suck it up and admit your weakness (face reality, don’t think of yourselves as invincible)

And that's just it. Having to face FAILURE and having been BEATEN strikes hardly at the straw giant that is RD's confidence.


"Ah, Scootaloo, somehow you pulled a triple flip to a cloud house. Impressive."

That was mostly to cover a plot hole . . . but given the schemes the CMC have tried to pull off, it's not impossible.

" I also like the little foreshadowing you drop in Scoot’s first words being “I d-they…Please?” I’d say more, but first time readers should be spared from spoilers."

Thanks. :-)

"A Story of the Blanks Bloom and doll Sweetie (shudder) nasty stuff. "

My one regret is that I didn't explore that more. But this series is crammed enough!!!

"
Also, I like that you mention that you have to be smart as well as brave in your actions. You can’t save a drowning man in a swift river and not drown in the process unless you’re planted and reach. You can try other ways, but unless you’re sure your sacrifice will be meaningful, you’ll just get in the way. That’s a way to be loyal as well."

RD of course was saying that to herself as much as Scoots. Trying to claw her way out of the muck.

"
And with those words, RD began to admit her own weaknesses, and grow as a mentor and a pony, by showing her fan why her words are important, and how self forgiveness is perhaps more important than she thought."

Given how much I was wailed on for DARING to forgive myself once, I felt the need to spread the message of forgiving yourself in my work sometimes.

And that 'better living through forgiveness' isn't 'meaningless tripe.'

"Hmmm, thanking Luna eh? Now that’s a nice touch, element of loyalty."

Heh.

"Still moving on, still moving forward."

Better than being in the same place for 12 years of your life.

Thank you for the epic review. No, seriously, thank you, please thank you.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Reply
:iconpumpkin-tlof19:
pumpkin-tlof19 Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2011
"Unfotunately, I was going too fast to stop." Yep, that's pretty unfo'tunate. Phea mah leet gangsta speek, yall.
"...pegasus race: I just blew it." Should be a semicolon.
"...one more delusion, I guess..." Comma should be an ellipses, you ask me; flows better.
"... I think I would have turned into a chicken or something." No problems here, I just find this line amusing.
"And if there was a way to help them: you" would be aware that the colon should be a comma.

Okay, mild comments over...haven't done that in a while, and I'm not normally this snarky. Must be all the Nightmare Fuel I've been looking at tonight...I need to stop doing that. ESPECIALLY since it somehow always leads me back to Slim. No more on that, except that if he's real, I'm taking no chances, and if he's fake, he's creepy enough that the angels are NEARLY challenged for creepiest frikkin' thing I've ever heard of. But that might just be the night talking. Also: Splendorman. But I'm getting off topic. On with the review!

This was painful, in that gutpunching, "I am going to pony hell for enjoying this" kinda way. Other than the typo and grammar issues noted above, I can't see how you could have written this better. The narrative is absolutely beautiful, I can practically hear the pain in her voice as I read...pain that stays there throughout the whole thing. The bit at the end with Scootaloo is heartwarming, and I like how she was used as a sort of...proxy, I guess? Of Dash's situation. Plus the blatant foreshadowing of Scoot's {THIS EXCERPT HAS BEEN REMOVED DUE TO SPOILERS} is fairly well done. Everyone's perfectly in character, scenario permitting, and...well, to be honest, mild interest was why I started reading the series, continued curiosity as to what happens next and what Reharmonized was kept me reading through Pearls, and then this exact chapter is the reason I've been as devoted a fan as I am. Yeah there are mistakes, but none that I can really dock points over. The interactions are flawlessly executed and perfectly arranged, and this is one of those chapters that nearly brings tears to my eyes...
And now my little Shadow, you are in for quite a treat so grand,
You've navigated the archives to review, so back to where you began.
Score 10001: Wondrous Victory. (Mainly because I feel like it. For the few flaws I could find with it, a person's first chapter is like his first doctor: no matter how bad things get, you just can't bring yourself to dislike anything about them. For this chapter only, thank you. Now to find something to not be a pansy about...you know any troll artists?)
Reply
:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2011
"Unfotunately, I was going too fast to stop." Yep, that's pretty unfo'tunate. Phea mah leet gangsta speek, yall."

I don't get it.

Put in your edits.

Okay, mild comments over...haven't done that in a while, and I'm not normally this snarky.

Actually. I'M VERY HAPPY you were willing to find those bugs. I'm VERY HAPPY when people are willing to help me with my spelling and grammar, which I am VERY lacking in apparently given how much bugs keep popping up my work.

"Must be all the Nightmare Fuel I've been looking at tonight...I need to stop doing that. ESPECIALLY since it somehow always leads me back to Slim. No more on that, except that if he's real, I'm taking no chances, and if he's fake, he's creepy enough that the angels are NEARLY challenged for creepiest frikkin' thing I've ever heard of. But that might just be the night talking. Also: Splendorman. But I'm getting off topic. On with the review!"

I have no idea what half of those things are.

"This was painful, in that gutpunching, "I am going to pony hell for enjoying this" kinda way. Other than the typo and grammar issues noted above, I can't see how you could have written this better. The narrative is absolutely beautiful, I can practically hear the pain in her voice as I read...pain that stays there throughout the whole thing. The bit at the end with Scootaloo is heartwarming, and I like how she was used as a sort of...proxy, I guess? Of Dash's situation.

It wasn't going to be included originally, but I realized it just fit.

: Plus the blatant foreshadowing of Scoot's {THIS EXCERPT HAS BEEN REMOVED DUE TO SPOILERS} is fairly well done. Everyone's perfectly in character, scenario permitting, and...well, to be honest, mild interest was why I started reading the series, continued curiosity as to what happens next and what Reharmonized was kept me reading through Pearls, and then this exact chapter is the reason I've been as devoted a fan as I am. Yeah there are mistakes, but none that I can really dock points over. The interactions are flawlessly executed and perfectly arranged, and this is one of those chapters that nearly brings tears to my eyes…"
And now my little Shadow, you are in for quite a treat so grand,
You've navigated the archives to review, so back to where you began.

So in other words it's a solid story.

Score 10001: Wondrous Victory. (Mainly because I feel like it. For the few flaws I could find with it, a person's first chapter is like his first doctor: no matter how bad things get, you just can't bring yourself to dislike anything about them. For this chapter only, thank you. Now to find something to not be a pansy about...you know any troll artists?)

Yes I 'know' a few trolls artists but they've blocked me and I've blocked them.

THANK YOU for this deep review!
Reply
:iconpumpkin-tlof19:
pumpkin-tlof19 Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2011
"I don't get it."
Bug being unfotunately. Last I checked, that had an extra r. As for the joke, if you listen closely to rappers, they'll drop the r frequently when they say words like unfortunately. Sorry it wasn't clear...

"I have no idea what half of those things are."
Be VERY GLAD for that.

"So in other words it's a solid story."
Yeah, that about sums it up.

Thank you for creating such a wonderful story.
Reply
:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2011
Peace on Earth and good will towards Men.
Reply
:iconpumpkin-tlof19:
pumpkin-tlof19 Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2011
And may everyone be home for Christmas.
Reply
:iconsmall3907:
small3907 Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2011
awsome story
i really loved the ending :D
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:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2011
Wait till you read RD's TRUE Recovery.
Reply
:iconsmall3907:
small3907 Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2011
okie dokie lokie :D
Reply
:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2011
It's in the gallery, be sure to check it out.
Reply
:iconltofsmitia:
lTofSMITIA Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Excellently done, as always! And it's in first person again! If I may say so, I think you do better in first person than third. You're more in the mind of the characters, which suits you well.
The whole story of Rainbow Dash's further torment by Discord fits very well. I always sorta felt like he probably wasn't done with her after he just gave her the impossible choice. Of all the corruptions, I must say that Rainbow's was the cleverest on the part of Discord, as there was literally no way she could have avoided it. Either choice would have been a betrayal.
Also, I love the whole scene with Scootaloo. Rainbow Dash's methods of comforting are fitting for her, and it's definitely beneficial for her to have her situation but into perspective through Scoot. I certainly can't wait to see how she manages to forgive herself.
Reply
:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2011
"Excellently done, as always! And it's in first person again! If I may say so, I think you do better in first person than third. You're more in the mind of the characters, which suits you well."

Yes but when the story focuses on more than one pony it can be confusing and more trouble than it's worth. But I WILL AGREE that the POV style DOES clearly just from RESULTS clearly indicate that it's much better at endearing the reader.

The problem is that the final chapters don't focus on any singular pony but the group as they get their act together.

"
The whole story of Rainbow Dash's further torment by Discord fits very well. I always sorta felt like he probably wasn't done with her after he just gave her the impossible choice. Of all the corruptions, I must say that Rainbow's was the cleverest on the part of Discord, as there was literally no way she could have avoided it. Either choice would have been a betrayal."

This'll be discussed in later chapters.

"
Also, I love the whole scene with Scootaloo. Rainbow Dash's methods of comforting are fitting for her, and it's definitely beneficial for her to have her situation but into perspective through Scoot. I certainly can't wait to see how she manages to forgive herself."

I realized I needed something to give this chapter a sense of conclusion. And THEN realized later I hadn't given it ENOUGH sense of conclusion. And I'm glad RD after a few revisions managed to be in character here at last.

And RD's torture at Cloudsdale was indeed meant to be nasty.
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:iconsenthai:
Senthai Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2011
I personally think that there was no right choice for Rainbow to make. Discord hit her with conflicting loyalties. It was either her friends or her home, and whichever she would have chosen she would still have been a traitor to the other. That's Discord to you, him and his Xanatos Gambits.
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:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2011
You may be right. There could have been no right choice. But RD realizing that is gonna take a lot of doing!
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:iconsenthai:
Senthai Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2011
Yes, I agree on that too. Betraying her friends ought to leave scars, even though she thought she was doing it for a good cause.
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